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Review Requests: ON
729 Public Reviews Given
729 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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Review of Juniper Park  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary month!

A funny read about your camping trip as a young person with a fear of spiders. I enjoyed it. The descriptions are deftly written and really it hardly felt exaggerated at all. I’ve seen highway rest stops that were in similar shape *Laugh*

I would suggest using size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices. Also perhaps a bit of dialogue among the characters would help make it more interesting, rather than a journalistic monologue. But whatever you like, since it’s autobiographical.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary month!

Good grief, this was hilarious, heartwarming and so relatable. I know how it feels to be a total witch in a bad mood and make everyone around me miserable. I’m glad the husband was so patient and supportive (or just plain scared*Laugh*)

You incorporated the quotes smoothly, and since I never heard of any of them, it all went right over my head quite well. Your characters are well portrayed and amusing, and the story is rapid and rollicking. (Have you ever read Jack Prelutsky’s The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven?)

Overall I have nothing to offer except to use size 4 Verdana font, and to add a third genre such as “Family” rather than “Contest.”

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review.

This is a touching and thoughtfully written story that brought me close to tears by the end. We are introduced to two men and shown their shabby, hopeless shared lives together in the city. The narrative slowly builds on itself until the end, when we understand at last that they are homeless, they mean no harm, and could very well die that night.

I was unsure of the direction this would take at first; dark twists are so common around here. I assumed Bruce and Rusty were street robbers planning to attack the wealthy man. This very assumption leads one to consider one’s own underlying stereotypes and what we expect from a story. Though this story has no plot, drama or development, it paints a powerful and memorable vignette of two friends who have nothing in the world but memories to call their own.

I appreciated the many small descriptive details scattered throughout, immersing us in a poignant, up close experience of the cold, darkening city streets as the men sit and watch the world leave them behind.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to use size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices.

I find this story all too relatable, to be honest. I know firsthand the hopelessness of being one of the poorest of society, of sitting with an empty life and watching the world pass by, of trying to distract myself from the stark, painful reality of impossible struggles by observing others and imagining things about them, of wondering how I’ve gotten myself into this, of feeling like a passive viewer of my own life. Things get better when I take positive action for self improvement, but the complicated chain of obstacles often feels insurmountable, and the inevitability of a disastrous outcome looms large… ok, maybe I’m exaggerating. I speak in poetic generalities now because this story touched me deeply.

Take care, thank you very much for sharing, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartt*
So cute :)
"The WDC Angel Army


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Review of Between Steps  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

There's nothing quite like a poem well written, and this is just right. I enjoyed being reminded of the hard work that goes into even the most mundane of things, and it's always good to stop and appreciate someone's pride in workmanship.

Your loose free verse flows well, drawing us through the words with care and thought.

I don't have much to offer here; you have good formatting and all three genres, and it's all good.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartt*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary, Joey!

Good grief, this is hilarious. I would have cracked up laughing out loud but I'm sitting right next to Mom and she'd think I've lost my mind.

Is this seriously autobiographical? If so, I'm rather glad you didn't go into the medical field, as it would have been challenging.

I would recommend adding a third genre, perhaps "Medical" or "Entertainment." Other than that I don't have much to offer for this comedic piece. The characters are amusing, your interactions are deft and the writing flows well, with the wordplay keeping us on our toes as we wonder what in the world is going on and where this is leading.

Thanks for sharing this rollicking bit of fun, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Doctor*


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Review of It's Michigan  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and happy accidents anniversary!

What a chilly and perfectly concentrated poem. Every word builds that feeling of bleak, sharp cold, from the scattered pine boughs to the hapless squirrel. I’m shivering *Laugh*

Perhaps a separate section showing what happens when the weather warms up by the end of the day and starts turning mushy and slushy would be a nice addition.

Other than that I don’t have any suggestions. This is well written and memorable.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartt*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

You have a portfolio packed with poetry, and I hope to spend some time this month browsing through. I love your simple and charming writing style, it looks to be right up my alley.

I’ve always loved stones and rocks, though not as much as my mom, who always dreamed of being a jewelry designer and working with gemstones. As a child I had a huge collection of rocks of all kinds, and as you observe, they all had stories behind them. There were big anomalous black granite chunks snitched from the graveled grounds of a local nursery, sparkling white and pink quartz picked up from the sweepings at the Lowe’s, ancient clay streaked stones with fern leaf fossils embedded in them from our own backyard, and endless varieties of oddly shaped ones that looked like sponges or bread or other weird things.

Your writing is clear and shares the point well. Nicely formatted and easy to read.

Thanks for sharing, take care, and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review of Crinkled  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I greatly enjoyed reading this thoughtful poem. You have poured out your feelings in a loose free verse that flows well. I like the repeated phrase “Maybe when the time is done;” it adds stability and a certain song like quality to the writing.

I don’t usually have much to criticize about poetry, especially free verse, and especially when it’s personal or autobiographical. The choice and placement of words is totally up to you. As long as it’s from the heart, I have nothing to say… though perhaps you meant to say “where your kind eyes touch” and “the quiet in your mind?”

The most useful suggestions I can make would be as regards formatting. Size 4 Verdana font is best for readability across devices on WdC, and poetry often looks more professional/artistic when the text is centered. I would also recommend using the repeated phrase as a signal to add a space between verses to break it into smaller chunks for a better flow.

Another thing to remember is to include a line count at the bottom of the item in case you want to enter any contests around here. It’s good to develop the habit.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Pushing Time  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I've read some others of your works, and I think they're built around the same theme of family reconciliation. This is most likely something deeply personal for you, and I'm proud of you for sharing your feelings with us in the hopes that we don't make the same mistakes with our own lives and closest relatives.

I see nothing in this poem to criticize: you have three genres, large font, centered text, and the writing flows well and conveys a heartfelt message. In the second line, the word "text" should probably be pluralized, but that's the only suggestion I have.

A line count is always recommended in case you wish to enter your poetry into contests; it's good to get into the habit of counting your lines (and words of stories) and listing them within the item, so you don't forget it when you're required to.

If I were you I would enter this into a couple of contests around here. Let me fetch the links:
"A Newbie Poetry Contest is for newbies, and so is "The Newbie Poetry Award. But watch out for prompts: I'm not sure if you can enter items previously written in these or if they have to be written to specific guidelines.
But there's always "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest that takes any poetry at all.

Take care, thanks for sharing, best of luck if you decide to enter any of the contests, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I love everything about this poem, honestly. I see you’ve already had 7 reviews, and the basic stuff I usually recommend to newbies has already been taken care of: font size and style, text centering, all three genres selected, etc.

Your lines flow perfectly, drawing us along nicely through the poem. It may be a somewhat trite or predictable theme, but in poetry that can be a good thing. As long as one writes from the heart, the rhymes and vocabulary are secondary. I don’t have much to criticize about structured poetry because I hate counting syllables and mainly go by instinct when evaluating meter.

You can enter this into "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest to see if you win an award. I think it’s a winner myself. There are many other poetry contests here; they can be found at "Writing Contests @ Writing.Com I’ll have to check out your portfolio; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you here before but I can’t quite remember.

Thanks for sharing this charming and simple piece with us, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review of God Complex  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Well… since you call this “nonsense,” I am unsure how exactly to approach it. I see a person exploring basic concepts of existence and the dilemma of being. The phrase “God complex” implies a person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, but I don’t really see that here. Towards the end it does begin to imply a sort of aloofness and feeling different from others, but this could easily be someone simply thinking peculiar thoughts in a quiet moment.

Formatting tips:
~ using size 4 Verdana font ensures readability across devices
~ including a line count is always required when entering contests
~ Otherwise it looks good.

In line 7 I’m not sure about the word “instaur;” do you mean “install?” The rhyme and rhythm flow well and are easy to read. I don’t usually have much to criticize about poetry, especially free verse. As long as it reads ok and is written with sincerity and art, it doesn’t matter how the lines scan or how many syllables there are per line. Also, I’m too lazy to write formal poetry myself, so I wouldn’t know how to begin poking at anyone else’s *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This was a fun read, with an amusing conflict between the way the story is expected to go and the way the kids “hijack” it, so to speak, but I found it somewhat difficult to follow. You may want to change the name of either Lee or Leo, because I couldn’t keep them straight and it was hard to tell that Lee was a girl.

I would then make some simple formatting adjustments, like adding a space between each line of dialogue and perhaps even making the four different characters names in different colors so we can follow along better. The Courier “typesetting” font is fun and appropriate but a bit hard to see on some devices. Size 4 font is always recommended for easy readability.

Also, it’s best to get into the habit of including a word count within every item you post here. It’s a very important rule to observe when entering contests, and when you add it right at the top or in the subtitle it gives people the chance to know how long the item is before they get started reading it.

One final thing, it’s important to add a third genre to the item to ensure you have as many opportunities as possible to be nominated for a Quill Award. “Drama” would be suitable here.

I enjoyed reading this and look forward to anything else you have to offer us.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*



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Review of Dust My Book  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I'm happy to find another poem from you on the Read a Newbie sidebar; I like your writing style and will probably be checking out your port soon.

A simple poem comparing our lives to a book and inviting readers to take a peek at the painful realities that lie within its dusty pages.

We all have issues that we've faced, some that we've overcome and others which threaten to overcome us. You've laid out the different phases of light and dark and described things in a clear and readable way. My favorite couplet is "A page of me, when I felt the proudest,
Ends a time, I cried the loudest."
I know how that feels. This is a very relatable poem, with "poetic" language that doesn't get too specific.

I think it would make a good song. You can submit this to several poetry contests around WdC, as long as you remember to include a line count. Current contests can be found by looking in the Community tab on the left sidebar and clicking on "contests."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of For Granted  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

What a heartfelt and beautiful poem. I love everything about it: the flow is good, the feelings are simply expressed and sincere, and your rhymes work well without being trite.

I apologize in advance because I'm on mobile and can't tell if you've already utilized this, but I always recommend using size 4 Verdana font for easy readability across devices. And poetry usually looks more elegant when the text is centered.

I don't usually have much to criticize about poetry because I view it as a highly subjective art form; meters and syllable counts don't matter to me as much as someone pouring their heart into their work, and you've clearly done that.

I like how you gradually unfold the dynamics of the relationship throughout the verses: at first we assume it's a significant other, then perhaps a best friend, then possibly a mother (though you do say you both "grew up") and at the end we see it's your brother.

It ends with a sense of relief that you were able to make things right before he passed away, and reminds us all to take care of our family relationships.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartG*


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Review of I’m scared  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You’ve given us a lot to digest here, and I will start with formatting. I understand the poetic license involved in making this monologue be one solid text block, and I’m not going to tell you exactly at which points to break it up into easier paragraphs. But one thing you should definitely consider to improve the readability across devices is to use size 4 Verdana font. Poetic license is no excuse for creating something valuable that’s a pain to read.

Formatting aside, this intricately tangled web of concerned contemplations about the meaning and purpose of one’s life is fascinating. It flows from thought to thought logically enough, and honestly I relate to the young man’s existential crisis a lot myself, as crucial decisions loom and yet I’m paralyzed with panic and uncertainty. It seems that he struggles with lethargy, apathy and inertia, knowing there are things he wants to accomplish yet holding himself back with doubts and fears about the potential values and trade offs.

If this is autobiographical, I extend my sympathies for your mental woes. I know how it feels. What one should do is start by setting small manageable goals, avoiding distractions and not taking on so much that it would be overwhelming. But that’s easier said than done!

I don’t have any further specific suggestions for improvements, since this is so deeply personal. It reads well, expressing honestly the feelings within.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartG*


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Review of Ocean Fling  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

What a charming poem. It speaks about the missing boat in loving relationship metaphor that feels like a 70's song. I really enjoyed it.

I'll give my usual formatting recommendation of size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices, and adding a line count in case you want to enter this into a contest. There are several poetry contests around here that take previously written submissions, and this is definitely good enough. You can find them listed in the Contests page under Community in the right hand sidebar.

I have nothing to offer by way of improvement of the poem itself. For me, poetry is a highly subjective art form, and as long as the lines flow reasonably well and one has put their heart into the work, I don't bother much about meter and syllables.

I'm sure you've already been told about the importance of choosing three relevant genres, for there they all are. It helps others find your work when browsing, and also gives more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award.

This is a cute and artistic poem, and I'll make an additional suggestion I don't often think of: it deserves a cover art of some kind. You can make really lovely images for free using AI art generators, anything from abstract watercolors to elegant oil paintings. I always use square images to best utilize the given area.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Boat*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to Writing.com!

An amusing study of a human brain removed from its confines and held up for self-examination. We see a sort of tongue in cheek, pseudo philosophical style as the narrator struggles to focus on the task at hand and instead wanders off into the weeds.

I'm not exactly sure what to make of this; if it's nonsense, then you've done a job that could qualify you for iKïyå§ama and her Wonderland project coming up in March.

If it's science fiction, you've created a world of disembodied brains running loose; presumably there's a mad scientist named Boltzmann behind it all (I'm sorry, if there's a scientific joke in that name, I'm not familiar with it.)

If it's satirical philosophy, it's also nifty, as we contemplate the meaning of conscious existence and realize that perhaps the mindless consideration of such is a distraction from whatever we're supposed to be doing at the moment.

I can't think of anything to suggest by way of improvement; your grammar is good, and the absurdity of the described situation is enough to keep us reading. This was fun.

Oh, and a silly aside from a music nerd: as I was processing this in preparation for reviewing it, my playlist gave me a song from Imagine Dragons and their unreleased vault: Hole Inside Our Chests. One of the lines goes "and there's my brain - it's on the floor - it's giving lovers all a brain tour!" Absurd, yes. Somehow the vibe feels similar to what you wrote *Wink* *Music1*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing.
*Smile* *Brain*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You have offered us a splendid glimpse into the stormy depths of your pained psyche. I love how at first I almost didn't realize it rhymes; the long lines feel like free verse, but the rhyming is like the cherry on top, bringing balance and structure to the chaotic moodiness. It's amazing that you were able to say exactly what you needed to say with tidy end rhymes that don't feel trite at all.

I need to remind myself as much as anyone, that on WdC, posting line counts and word counts is a highly recommended habit to develop, so that when you enter contests the last thing you have to worry about is forgetting to add the number of lines/words.

I see you've picked three relevant genres, which was probably already explained by others. It gives you more visibility when browsing and also offers more chances to be nominated for a Quill Award.

I also have made a habit of recommending using size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices.

I enjoyed reading this poem, as much as one can enjoy a foray into someone else's unhappiness. I identify with it myself, especially this time of year. It reminds me of the struggles Imagine Dragons lead singer Dan Reynolds goes through... Have you ever listened to their song Dull Knives?

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it would make a quick evening read.

Your descriptions are excellent, showing us the eerie and unnerving portentions of doom (hmm, I think I just made up a word… *Laugh*) Anyway, your words create a clear picture in our minds of just how creepy the situation is. I always feel that the usage of “you” as the point of view in writing is a bit weird, as if we’re embarking on a Choose Your Own Adventure (or come to think of it one of the WdC interactive stories) But that’s just me; I can understand how the first person or third person would perhaps water down the effect.

If you wanted to expand this, though, it would probably be a good idea to choose a more standard POV to make it easier to read.

Speaking of easy reading, I always recommend using size 4 Verdana font for readability across devices.

I see you’ve chosen three relevant genres, which is always recommended so you get more chances at being nominated for Quill Awards.

The title does a great job of explaining and adding detail to the item, as well.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartBl*


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Review of One of Them  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

A brief and carefully written poem, with a distinct style and tone. You’ve conveyed your thoughts on the subject in a striking way, though I’m not sure what I would have made of it if you hadn’t mentioned cults in the subtitle.

I would recommend selecting two other relevant genres, to make it easier to find when browsing and also to increase your chances of being nominated for a Quill Award. Also, I usually recommend using size 4 and/or Verdana font to ensure readability across devices.

I don’t generally have much to criticize when it comes to poetry, especially free verse. I consider poetry to be a highly subjective art form; as long as the idea is conveyed with sincerity and care, it doesn’t matter much if the lines scan or the syllables count properly… to be honest, I’m too lazy to bother writing poems that way myself, so I would have no idea how to critique someone else’s work *Laugh* I just wing it with a vague sense of rhythm.

This is a great poem as it stands, I wouldn’t change anything.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review of Bathtub Dilemma  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I noticed your item on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked like a simple evening read.

I always enjoy a good piece of lighthearted kid-friendly poetry, and this was right on the mark. It's something I would probably have memorized just for fun when I was a kid myself.

I would make just one small suggestion, to combine the four short lines into couplets instead. I believe that would improve the flow somewhat. But generally speaking I never have much to criticize about poetry; I consider it a flexible and highly subjective art form.

You might be able to submit this to Lornda and her Humorous Poetry Contest. I'm not sure if she accepts items previously written. But this is definitely funny enough.

I like that it's also rather realistic; I can imagine something like that actually happening easily enough! It's written with a consistent meter and a happy ending, and I quite enjoyed it.

Another suggestion would be to add two more genres so that it's easier to find and so it has more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest "Comedy" and "Experience" loosely speaking.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Storms  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings again,

I understand how the rhyming couplets can be seen as trite and limiting, and it’s probably good to diversify, but here with this particular poem they go perfectly with your theme.

The first thing I noticed, which is a relief on my iPad, is the Verdana font. Wdc’s Comic font comes across as thin and spidery on iOS, which is unfortunate because it does look very elegant.

Your theme is universally relatable, as I have experienced many strong storms in my lifetime and I’m sure we all have. The unnerving power of a thunderstorm becomes a metaphor of the other types of difficulties we face in life. As children, we don’t realize how much trouble there is in the world, and things which weigh heavy on an adult’s heart don’t impact us in the same way when we are younger.

One has to trust in God for protection against the storms; no matter what we’re going through, He’s always there with us, ready to show the wonders of His grace and might. Even when we know how dangerous and destructive the storms can be, we can still step back and admire them because we have faith in the One who controls the weather.

Thanks for sharing, take care and stay safe in the storms *HeartB* *Cross2*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

What a fine and simple rambling. You have written in almost a stream of consciousness manner, without any clear theme, yet it all fits together well and flows smoothly from couplet to couplet.

The meter and thoughts have a song-like quality to them, as you promise love and goodwill to those close to you. I enjoy a good picturesque poem; this is something I might have written down and committed to memory at a younger age.

As a sidenote, I would recommend using size 4 font to ensure readability across devices. Other than that I have no suggestions for changes.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

I enjoyed reading this poem. It describes the Scottish highlands in simple terms and draws us to consider the wars and great losses that have happen there centuries ago.

I was surprised to see the rhyming couplets here; you did a good job with the meter and flow. I did feel as though some of the word choices were too simplistic or forced or trite. But I’m no expert on poetic forms; if given the option I would probably go for free verse most of the time.

For this reason I don’t usually have much to offer to “correct” poems; as long as one has poured their heart into the creation, I don’t care a whole lot how it’s written. Poetry for me is a highly subjective art form.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and happy account anniversary!

A simple and childlike narrative poem, written with a light heart and good humor. We see the narrator taking care of their landlord's chickens and being nice about it.

I enjoyed the repetition of the line "I’m in charge of the chickens;" it gives it a song like quality. Your presentation is excellent, with centered bold text, and the cheerful words flow across the screen quite well.

I don't usually have much to criticize about poetry because I'm not an expert on metric forms. I can recognize a good one mostly by instinct.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Chicken*


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