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598 Public Reviews Given
638 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of My magical ship  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

A pleasant poem to read. The freedom of an adventure, sailing with the wind.

Reread you item. A few spacing problems are now messing up your presentation.

Reread and fix them. Presentation is all important in poetry.

Well done.

Regards,

Rich / j2rr
77
77
Review by RICH
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello,

I had this as my first choice, after reading it, I was not keen on commenting on it. It is rather a dark story.

A good story, well told with especially the historical tit-bits thrown in.

Only one little item I would like to suggest. - 'sealed and labeled as mine, alone.'

Here a repetition will work well and I think it would also fit in with normal language usage;

'sealed and labeled as mine, mine alone.'

Regards,

Rich
78
78
Review by RICH
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

It almost seems a pity to, then, that is what we do: Short a period and space -- 'and jammed the key in the lock With practiced,"

An enjoyable read, good flow, no problems.

And she got her man, I suppose one is as good as any other, considering all 'n all.

Regards,

RIch
79
79
Review by RICH
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

Time, the past, present and future, and the thoughts that we have of them. The basket of our ideas.

Edit comment:

The closing sentence ''' I remember her standing on a dining room chair ''' and ''' so Mama stands up in her chair ''' Should the 'both' not be the same action? ''' Mama stood on her chair ?

'''... and friend -- my mama -- was losing her mind. ''' Capital for Mama?

Minor items which does not affect a well told story. I did enjoy this story, even with the pathos involved.

Regards,

Rich.
80
80
Review of Uncut Diamond  
Review by RICH
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

So true it is,

Before a diamond sparkles, it needs a lot of attention.

Yet, it already has all the basic attributes, it is already there.

Well written and well composed.

Go well,

Regards,

Rich
81
81
Review of In Glen Coe  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

Traveling was unfortunatly something I have not done much off, yet I have read well on other countries.

So, to read a telling such as this is quite quaint and interesting. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

My wife's ancestors, grandfather on the father's side are Scots (Denoon - from the islands of the same name)

Edit:

Spacing, always double space, at least between the paragraphs.

Regards,

Rich
82
82
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

My goodness, what these peeps will not bring home, live cat-food, ugh!

And then they expect you to patiently suffer the indignity to have that evil-smelly, little rodent on top of your head.

I feel for you, and a photo as well, will it never stop!

Best wishes,

Rich
83
83
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

I too, gave my first pint of blood, at the age of 18. Somehow I was not very diligent about it, which is a

pity , as I have had the benifit of it at my children's birth, as both required blood. Blue babies.

Edit comment:

Spacing. In the first half - there is a lack, much better in the second half.

You still need a few commas, which you will pick up if you reread your item slowly and aloud.(there is an item on rereading in my port, I did not write it, better writers than I did, I only endorse it)

I would suggest that you look at the last paragraph -word choice-bumped/crashed,smashed? and a few commas. A pity that a good life can be lost so recklessly and easily.

Well written and interesting, a new insight to how it is done in other parts of the world. Here we get tea and cookies.

Regards,

Rich
84
84
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Surely there is nothing better than to have the perfect breeze blowing softly over you, under the perfect sky, on a perfect night.

And if that could be everyday, that would make for the perfect life.

I am not a poetry expert, I read, and what i read, I like.

A nice poem with a pleasant air to it.

Well done,

Regards,

Rich
85
85
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Looking at the news, listening to the politicians, seeing the madness of the

world, I must agree, it does seem to be an anarchist's playground.

I do hope you are wrong and there is a better day tomorrow.

Well written.

Regards,

Rich
86
86
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

I have a sneaky suspicion that all those people promoting the emptying of ones cupboards and garages are the owners of second hand shops.

An enjoyable read and amusing, even educational, yet I will ignore your good advice and maintain my packrat attitude, as I am a pro crow.

Well written, a comma or two still needed, should you reread it thoroughly.

Regards,

Rich
87
87
Review of The Diaper Change  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

Poetry is not something I know much about, as it normally entails deep feelings.

This is more my style, a every day event dished up in a pleasant manner.

Well done, a thoroughly enjoyable read. Thank you.

Regards,

Rich
88
88
Review of Army Men  
Review by RICH
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,

Verisimilitude, the appearance of truth, probability or likelihood. Something I was taught here at Wdc.

The first paragraph tells me; Danny was changed forever - yet, the writer only meets Danny at about , what age ?

Surely, Danny's character was not known before hand, unless that fact comes from another venue?

Also, the relationship between Danny and the 'retiree' already existed. So, surely there was no choice ?

Look at ' After locating the house', it reads wrong somehow. Maybe ... 'When we got to the house,' ?? or something.

'....like the kind you say in a pirate movie, ' (see and not say - typo ?)

A few commas too many and a few commas required, those should be picked up with a good reread.

A well told story with a few minor things to look at.

It is a difficult art to retell an incident, as clearly to the reader, as it is to the writer.

Rereading is highly recommended.

Regards,
89
89
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

"A DUCK SAVED MY LIVE", can see the headlines in the local ragmag.

And the DUCK thinking to itself, 'what a job to be a guardian angel'.

Nicely done, good imagery, and it was not the old lady's day, not yet anyway.

Regards,

Rich
90
90
Review of Moonlight Passage  
Review by RICH
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello,

Nice, good story, thoroughly entertaining.
Well presented ... with almost not a comment.
I think you did that on purpose, to see if the readers are taking note.
How did she keep her leg elevated?
A few odd commas, when you reread, you will find them.

Well done.

Regards,

Rich
91
91
Review of A Christmas Past  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello'

Let us start from the back to front. Small thing, control of apostrophes, in the 3rd and 4th last paragraphs.

Have a look at lifting self-sentences out ''''Stress me out .....'''' normally italics are used for this.

(Oh _ a new concept _ 'self-sentences' - when you talk to yourself.)

Well done and a good example of misunderstandings, that do happen so often.

Have a look at using "'BUT''', is it always needed? Not that it is a bad-bad word, yet, it is a bad word.

Well written.

Regards,

RICH
92
92
Review of how do you feel ?  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

I am trying to retire and now have time for writing.

I envy the young that can start early, so, whatever, try to maintain your writing.

Poetry is not my strong point, I do read and I see a typing error or two, spacing/ capital.

I do get your feeling about betrayal, it is one of the worst forms of negative feelings one can have.

Trust broken, love rejected, respect gone...... yet, we must go on.

Regards,

RICH
93
93
Review of A Modest Proposal  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

An amusing story with funny in between. An enjoyable story.

An interesting (?) fact, the better a man's marriage was, the sooner he tends to remarry.

Edit comment.

Not that it matters all that much, if you were to reread the story again, how many changes and/or additions would you make. What about 'but', not a sin, yet, not a nice word. Well, we will have to live with two of them "buts'

Regards,

RICH

.
94
94
Review of SHORT STORIES  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

As this is a 'short story folder' and I read them all, they are short and quick to read, it was worth the effort.

Snow is not something we know, I have seen it twice in my lifetime, once about 6 inches deep and the other time about 2 inches deep, then, this, is South Africa. We do get snow on the mountains.

An enjoyable read, most stories are amusing and easy reading, even the dire warning of things to come, well written. My favorite would be 'The Goddess', .... never tempt.

Regards,

RICH.
95
95
Review of My Cartoon Life  
Review by RICH
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello,

Well. as should be predicted, I read this second.

Well done from an edit view point. (there is one comma, whose counting?)

Well written and as I am on the side of the single-working Mom, well shared. That is now enough 'well'.

Poor Ken, the gods really was not with him, or as you said, he cannot read the signs.

Maybe the next frog or who-ever will be more of a challenge.

Regards,

RICH.


96
96
Review by RICH
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.*Smile*
Hello,
Edit.
An alternate word for 'BUT'? Not a swear word, yet, it is frowned upon, is it not?
A comma or two short. I do not know if prayers require commas as they are usually rendered in haste.
Review.
An amusing story. You date via the 'net'? Okay, we got to take what we can get. You do not like zoos?(Yuck, no undies, the image !!!)

Regards,

RICH
97
97
Review of The End  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Spacing, we do not pay extra if we use more space, anyway, that is what I think.

Edit:
* They're already doing better*
*Go ahead son, shut.....*
*Thanks Dad, next *

A good reread would let you get a few of them. Note.... I said would.

As a writer it is easy to glance over a mistake and not pick it up, that is where the edit is required.

Word choice:
*bare* I would go for bear. Not the animal one, the other one; to carry, etc.

Well, can you blame them? Well written, spacing and a good reread is required.

Regards.

RICH.
98
98
Review of Kerr's Kur  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

The human, from beginning to end is an enigma which will never allow itself to total analysis.

The variables are far too numerous to comprehend, yet, it is an interesting field to dabble in.

Should you visit my port. here at Wdc you will note that my maxim is - 'You get only one life, enjoy it.'

Edit. This is well written. Tho, not for the every-one.

Review. This covers so many specialist fields in the making and a general discussion in these fields can keep us busy for a long, long time. Would enjoy to sit and natter about all of this again.

Keep at it.

RICH.
99
99
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

You can never trust a beautiful, vain one, be it an alien, human or even insect, it seems.

Edit.
Comma placements: eg. *...an agile, sporty, attired wasp. *
There are a few more to look at. A reread may show them.

Capitals: at the start of sentences .... I am not sure if insects use them always?

Aphostrope: * "Pap's cave"// "........with money to throw around"

A good reread is recommended.

Review:
As a nature freak, (used to collect insects as a younger peep) I enjoyed the story, it did require attention to follow. The details are well interwoven and an interesting mix to the end.

Regards,

RICH.
100
100
Review of The Flea Market  
Review by RICH
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Goodday. Welcome to Wdc.

Financial pressure is an unwanted bane in life, then we do what we can to survive. We plan, we scheme and maybe it works. I hope you get a good plan. I wanted suggest hi-jacking those city tourists, then what to do with them. Somehow, I think, they have little value.

Edit. Read the paragraph...'The Sunday morning we opened....' 'we were to open' ? Read again.
The use of a comma in front of 'and'. The rule says it is not a sin, then, there are qualifying rules for it.

I enjoyed the story, as I know the background well (having been there myself) and the lightness with which you treat the whole affair, it is better put up a brave face, is it not.

Go well,

From the 'Vrystaat - RSA',

RICH.
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