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638 Total Reviews Given
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101
Review of The Flea Market  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Goodday. Welcome to Wdc.

Financial pressure is an unwanted bane in life, then we do what we can to survive. We plan, we scheme and maybe it works. I hope you get a good plan. I wanted suggest hi-jacking those city tourists, then what to do with them. Somehow, I think, they have little value.

Edit. Read the paragraph...'The Sunday morning we opened....' 'we were to open' ? Read again.
The use of a comma in front of 'and'. The rule says it is not a sin, then, there are qualifying rules for it.

I enjoyed the story, as I know the background well (having been there myself) and the lightness with which you treat the whole affair, it is better put up a brave face, is it not.

Go well,

From the 'Vrystaat - RSA',

RICH.
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102
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

Not a poetry-knower, and sometimes I have to use an imagination which is lacking to see the meaning.

This was nice, clear picture of a sight I would dearly like to see.

(we have all types of birds that fly with the seasons, especially the swallows, tho, not these geese.)

As for Annie's flight, she will always be, who-ever she is, free to fly.

Enjoyed it very much. Thanks.

Regards,

RICH.
103
103
Review of You Won't Tell  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

Please supply me with this dentist's name and address so that I know not to visit him.

Good portrayal of a situation that is quite popular. The dentist's chair.

A popular site for many a drama or lighthearted moment.

Well done.

Regards,

RICH.
104
104
Review of The Drive Home  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

At last, a punctuation comment, should there not be a comma between 'grades,college'?

The distended family, this I know.

Very important to maintain the contact and make the best of every day.

Laat dit goed gaan, en hou die blink-kant bo.

RICH.
105
105
Review of Another day  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

As long as we can talk, as long as we do not say "Goodbye" then there is hope.

I have no idea about poetry, to me a face must have dots for eyes and a mouth, like these emo-men, then I know.

Sometimes I get it, mostly I miss the bus. (even read a book about poetry once,still have no clue)

Somehow, I get a picture, then I never know if it is the correct one. This one seems sad.

Regards,

RICH.
106
106
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

A good analogy of the glass and the people.

I do not have the sea, so, my pieces are pebbles, round, flat, all shapes and sizes, polished by the ages, all kinds of pebbles, same as your glass. Some rare, others common.

The analogy I did not have, it is a good analogy.

It is a pity that the bike did not have a name eg. Harley or what ? As I am a BMW freak myself, that was in the good old days.(just for the bike people's sake)

May you find the elusive one, which is crystal-glass, a rare one indeed.

I enjoyed the story very much and it is well presented.

Regards,

RICH.
107
107
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

This story shares a page with my new addition to my odds & ends file.

As I would qualify as fit company for a chat about rocks, that is both as a hoarder of and some in the head.

I enjoyed your story. Well written and well presented.

Rocks. stones, pebbles and sand makes for the most interesting subject to go into.

Also all of the others stuff that goes with it. Plants and animals, etc.

A solid foundation to grow up with.

Regards,

RICH.
108
108
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

People, strange creatures sometimes. I like people, yet, I still cannot always understand their strange ways.

Nature is my fortè and there I am at home. Still, the two-legged ones are interesting.

A good reread should show up a few basic 'rush' errors.

I call them as such, 'cause we reread and read right over them.

If you want a detailed edit list, I can do it with pleasure. (I do it for fun, editing/proofreading, not an expert tho.)

An enjoyable read and amazing what the mind can get up to. Good story presentation.

Regards,

RICH.
109
109
Review of Three of a kind  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

O, what to give, for a life so free,

whereas the everyday man is as free as his 8-to-5 and a wife with a mortgage, add a few kids and some more payments.

O, for a life so free.

Well written eulogy, well thought out, well presented. That too, is three of a kind.

Regards,

RICH
110
110
Review of Meeting Myself  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

A walk down the road, from there to there, well done.

As I am not an expert of poetry, I cannot comment on style, form or any of the other technical requirements of poetry.

Yet, I do read and it reads true and well. We come in alone, then we adapt, change, grow, get and give, till eventually we reflect.

Reflection is the stage when we call it wisdom.

Still, you do not walk alone, there are all the memories, whether it be good or not, that is your life.

Go well,

RICH.
111
111
Review of Uncle Jim's Magic  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

A pleasant and interesting read. Everybody needs a Uncle Jim sometime, somehow, to put a bit of magic into life.

The magic is something that should be sent on to the next generation and it not need to be a magic trick, just a bit of time, attention and maybe, the right gift - whatever that may need to be. That is sometimes magic on its own.

You write well. Well done.

Regards,

RICH.
112
112
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,

Small little edit items to look at; Par 3 - 'I tried to comfort him, ...' Par 5 'but our clothes and ...'

Other than that - a tip.

When a story needs a rewrite, ignore it, walk away for a while, write something else, do something else and time and distance will bring fresh ideas.

As for the story, I am looking at a picture where some detail seem clear and others in darkness. Then, it is your canvas and your painting, enjoy.

Regards,

RICH
113
113
Review of Live.  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello,

An impressive rendition of a sad situation. Impressive because of the 'almost' feeling of nothingness, the lack of anger, carrying on, regardless.
Unfortunately, it is far too common in too many houses. for various different reasons.

Edit comment:
Capitals for Mom or Dad in a few instances.
''''his engine came to life""/"" the car's engine came to life'''''
a few punctuation items, when you reread you should find them.

I enjoyed the read, even if the subject matter is dark. It is reality.

It is well written.

Regards,

RICH.

Regards,
114
114
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

An enjoyable rendition of 'tales' of the 'old days'.

Well presented and easy to read.

Edit comment. A good reread will show up a few commas that need placement. Start at the second sentence.

Relook the sentence; 'She knew how puppies....' There is a glitch, somehow.

I am biased, I am always in favor of an animal story. Well written.

Regards,

RICH.
115
115
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,

Be an animal, what a thought.

I relate very well to dogs. I have met only one dog in my life that I considered dangerous, and he was.

As for being an animal, I have been known to make a pig of myself. ?

Your thoughts are well presented, making for an enjoyable read and I can well imagine the 'doggie' phase.

For an edit comment; a good reread should show a few minor items that need doing,

eg.'Off and on, for the rest of that summer, .....('Summer') ?.......I would suggest highlighting if you want summer as 'that Summer'. - Commas!

Regards,

RICH.
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116
Review of Rusty at School  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

Animals, that is my main interest in life.

Would I like to be one ... no thank you. Yet, I would love to be in their company and experience their world as they do.

Then I am talking about the movers and not my placid farm sheep or dairy cow.

Book wise, that would give me 'Call of the Wild' by Jack London. White Fang is an impressive story and second, to me.

There is another, which may be foreign to you. It is called 'Jock of the Bushveld' by Sir Percy Fitzpatrick (Do Google it, it is factual, if you have not read it, see if you can find it, it was also made into two movie versions.)

I cut my eyeteeth on 'Lassie' and all follow-up movies.

Your story started a line of thought, the line is that for all the wonder the 'computer world' offers, it cannot beat the imagination for entertainment and a good book for companionship.

I will keep my eyes peeled for Rusty from now on, I cannot say that I knew him.

Thanks for sharing.

Regards,

RICH.
117
117
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

The fairies live in the minds, of those who care. Those who care, where the dragons still fly.

As I am not a poetry expert, I cannot comment on style, rhyme, and other forms required.

I am a reader, the read is pleasant. It evokes thoughts, that is what is required.

As long as there is a living mind, I am sure, dragons will fly.

Regards,

Rich.
118
118
Review of ping pong  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Edit comments. Certain usages are not illegal,tho, repetition is frowned upon on writing.

And 'And' is one of them. A nasty word, I call it a nasty word, is 'but'.

If you were to reread this item, remove all the 'and's and but', what does it sound like?

Colour, as well as other toys are available at 'Site Tools' (left hand side, near the top)

'Writing ML' is a toy to use and abuse, especially on your blog.

Welcome, you can write, you only need to learn to use this system. Rating is relative sometimes.

Rich, j2rr
119
119
Review of Courage  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello,

'The only person seated on the bench was an obese woman with a wart on her chin eating a candy bar.'

Now, I have yet to see a wart eating a candy bar, that must be something to behold.

That is why we need commas, so that our candy bars are eaten by people and not by warts.

'The only person seated on the bench was an obese woman, with a wart on her chin, eating a candy bar.'

Much ado about nothing .... we do need the commas.

Other than that, a good read, a good story and I assume it has a follow-on, it must have it, it is there.

I too, have family like this.

Regards,

Rich.
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120
Review of The Demon  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello,

The introductory sentence, please reread, re-look and possibly, rearrange. Maybe it is only me, I am having a problem with flow and clarity. Other than that, a comma placement else where.

One comment; I would think, that the demon would harass her constantly to drive her to such an ending, see;
'It spoke to her sometimes.' What do you think ?

A sad story, the secret to life is, make friends with your demon, that way, you get to know him (always him?)
and you can live in an uneasy peace.

Rule number one, the demon always forgets a simple rule, it dies with its victim.
Personal demons are not transferable.

Regards,

Rich.
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121
Review of Halloween Night  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello,

Nasty little kid that you have met there.

A good reread would show up a typo..... 'as I walked out of the bar.' and a few comma placements are still required.

Past tense of chide, - chid.

An unnerving story of what can happen in dark places. I'd rather stay home.

Regards,

Rich.
122
122
Review of Prologue  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.*Smile*

Hello,

So far, so good. You have the makings of a good book/story.

Edit: Look at these sentences;

'I did not move or look(ed) up.'

"what do we need to do to put an end to this?'

{/c]Review: Verisimilitude - The appearrance of truth - likelihood - probability.

A long word meaning, that the story must seem probable. We are used to 'super-heroes' doing this or that, it can be totally outrages,

yet, it must be in sequence or 'correct'. Your building has a few storeys/floors blown away and the 'hero' was blown through a window?

Have a look. Keep it in mind. Verisimilitude - impressive, I got it here at WdC.

No major problems, give it a good reread and I'm sure, you will pick quite a few errors up yourself.

Regards,

Rich.
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123
Review of Appearances  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.*Smile*

Hello,

A short story, well delivered. What a sad ending. Almost more 'Poe-like'.

Edit:There is no obvious mistakes and is written well.

Review:A short/short story. As it stands, nothing I could add, 'a suggestion', this would make a good, longer story.

You have ideas, exploit them.

Nicely done.

Regards,

Rich.
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124
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.*Smile*

Hello,

This is a good premise for a very good story, 'King-style'. It would make an excellent story if fattened up with more detail.

The nasty:Edit.

It really does seem like notes to a story, short yet precise.

If this is offered as a short/short story, then a few items that may round it off ever so slightly.

'..charmed its way into Katie's heart.' (into + heart)

'That night, Katie.....' comma

'spiders wriggled' word choice

'sewed the bear's head back on. (on)

Review: Again, this would make a good longer story with more detail as to the 'how, why, when, etc.'

As it is, no problem, except maybe the rounding off, as I suggested. Have a look.

Rating: I am mentioning this, as it was a point of dicussion in 'chat'.

My ratings may sometimes not make sense.

Firstly, if I think it is a good idea or offering, that will influence my rating, yours is a good idea.

Regards,

Rich.





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Review of Let's Play  Open in new Window.
Review by RICH Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.{c;red}
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.*Smile*

Hello,

An absolute joy is to have children that you can spoil rotten and when they are unmanageable, you send them back to their parents.

Now, that is what I call 'Sweet Revenge'. It is fun being a 'gran'!

Firstly - the nasty edit:

Commas, and in general, punctuation. These can be used to great advantage to give more 'life' to the writing.

eg. "He's only two years old, and yes, he is a small package - but he is not stupid!"

Play with it and have a look.

Review: Children stories of the lighter nature are always entertaining.

I enjoyed reading this story, as I can see them in all their glory, 'mine - yours'.

And then there was peace? Not easily.

Regards,

Rich.
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