Financial pressure is an unwanted bane in life, then we do what we can to survive. We plan, we scheme and maybe it works. I hope you get a good plan. I wanted suggest hi-jacking those city tourists, then what to do with them. Somehow, I think, they have little value.
Edit. Read the paragraph...'The Sunday morning we opened....' 'we were to open' ? Read again.
The use of a comma in front of 'and'. The rule says it is not a sin, then, there are qualifying rules for it.
I enjoyed the story, as I know the background well (having been there myself) and the lightness with which you treat the whole affair, it is better put up a brave face, is it not.
I do not have the sea, so, my pieces are pebbles, round, flat, all shapes and sizes, polished by the ages, all kinds of pebbles, same as your glass. Some rare, others common.
The analogy I did not have, it is a good analogy.
It is a pity that the bike did not have a name eg. Harley or what ? As I am a BMW freak myself, that was in the good old days.(just for the bike people's sake)
May you find the elusive one, which is crystal-glass, a rare one indeed.
I enjoyed the story very much and it is well presented.
A pleasant and interesting read. Everybody needs a Uncle Jim sometime, somehow, to put a bit of magic into life.
The magic is something that should be sent on to the next generation and it not need to be a magic trick, just a bit of time, attention and maybe, the right gift - whatever that may need to be. That is sometimes magic on its own.
An impressive rendition of a sad situation. Impressive because of the 'almost' feeling of nothingness, the lack of anger, carrying on, regardless.
Unfortunately, it is far too common in too many houses. for various different reasons.
Edit comment:
Capitals for Mom or Dad in a few instances.
''''his engine came to life""/"" the car's engine came to life'''''
a few punctuation items, when you reread you should find them.
I enjoyed the read, even if the subject matter is dark. It is reality.
Would I like to be one ... no thank you. Yet, I would love to be in their company and experience their world as they do.
Then I am talking about the movers and not my placid farm sheep or dairy cow.
Book wise, that would give me 'Call of the Wild' by Jack London. White Fang is an impressive story and second, to me.
There is another, which may be foreign to you. It is called 'Jock of the Bushveld' by Sir Percy Fitzpatrick (Do Google it, it is factual, if you have not read it, see if you can find it, it was also made into two movie versions.)
I cut my eyeteeth on 'Lassie' and all follow-up movies.
Your story started a line of thought, the line is that for all the wonder the 'computer world' offers, it cannot beat the imagination for entertainment and a good book for companionship.
I will keep my eyes peeled for Rusty from now on, I cannot say that I knew him.
The introductory sentence, please reread, re-look and possibly, rearrange. Maybe it is only me, I am having a problem with flow and clarity. Other than that, a comma placement else where.
One comment; I would think, that the demon would harass her constantly to drive her to such an ending, see;
'It spoke to her sometimes.' What do you think ?
A sad story, the secret to life is, make friends with your demon, that way, you get to know him (always him?)
and you can live in an uneasy peace.
Rule number one, the demon always forgets a simple rule, it dies with its victim.
Personal demons are not transferable.
Reviewing:Revision with the aim to improvement.{c;red}
Editing:To prepare as a book for publication and by writing, correcting or selecting the matter.
Hello,
An absolute joy is to have children that you can spoil rotten and when they are unmanageable, you send them back to their parents.
Now, that is what I call 'Sweet Revenge'. It is fun being a 'gran'!
Firstly - the nasty edit:
Commas, and in general, punctuation. These can be used to great advantage to give more 'life' to the writing.
eg. "He's only two years old, and yes, he is a small package - but he is not stupid!"
Play with it and have a look.
Review: Children stories of the lighter nature are always entertaining.
I enjoyed reading this story, as I can see them in all their glory, 'mine - yours'.
And then there was peace? Not easily.
Regards,
Rich.
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