Wow great job, this was a great read for me. I loved the whole poem. The flow was great and they poem had a feeling all its own.
You did a great job with this poem. Keep up the great work. I found nothing wrong with your writing out your skills. This was an all around great poem.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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Wow thi was a deep poem, I could picture this girl so well in my head from the way you discribed her. Well done. The words your picked for the discription was really good. I loved the flow of this poem and how this poem was writen captured me. I really liked reading it. Well done, great job.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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Well done you really did a great job with sad story. I wanted to cry with the little girl and hold her tight. This was a good read. I think a little more showing would be great to make this story more real. Like how did she cry was she crying softly or were they hard fast sobs? How did she walk out of the room?
Also the second to the last line herself is one word, not two. You did a really great job, keep writing your doing great.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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O-man, cought in the act. Well done you did a great job on this Short, short story. You captured all the elements that a story needs, and all in 55 words. Wow great job, I know I could not do that. Great job keep up the wonderful work.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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I am so glad I was told to read this fun, poem about the souther love. You did such a great job putting this poem together and how you captured the feel of how souther people act. Well done and it was fun to read, the flow was not the regular flow. But it worked with this poem. Great job keep writing, I would love to ream more of your work.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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A very sweet loveabl poem full of deep feeling for life. You did a great job on this great poem.
You put your heart and soal into this poem for sure.
I could smeel the pine scent in the air you discriber it so well. Very good job, this poem spoke to me of life and I am so glad I stoped by and read it. I saw no problems with your writing. It was an all around great read, well done keep writing!!!
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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A very well told story that had me in tears, well done. You told this story so well that I felt like I was right there. I really like the feeling in the story and how you made them come to life. I liked reading this story it touched me deeply.You did great on setting up the story and telling it. Keep writing your doing a great job.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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"WOW A story that will stick with you after you are done reading it!!" This was a very good read and the word were so powerful. And the images that poped in to my head were so vived.Wow you did a great job!!! The feel you gave threw this story was really strong, it was like you where there and then wrote it down and retold it. It was that believeable, Well done!
I found nothing wrong grammer wise or anything else. I just can't get over the feelings you gave me. Wow
Keep writing your doing good!!! Never give up and Never give in!!!
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Great Job!!!! Even for 55 words they were very powerful words, and you grabed the read so fast and hard that I wanted to know what happened and why he was demanding her to leave. Well done, you really knew what you were doing on this. You did a great job I know if I was asked to do a 55 word contes there would be no way I could do it. You did and you did it every well.
Keep writing you are doing a great job. Never give up and Never give in!!!
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LOL I liked reading this fun poem about a muffin. I really liked how you put this poem together. The read was fun and different for me, thanks. The flow was great and the poem it self was fun. I found no problems with in the poem. I have so much fun reading I have to read it again. This is my favorit lineI respond as if commanded by a greater plot,
turning my back to feast behind a line of buyers LOL I just love it great job, keep writing.
Wow a deep poem!! After reading this I wondered if you had such a thing happen to you. I hope not becasue it must have been very hard and sad. Which both of those feeling came through in your poem as I read it. You did a great job putting this poem together and makeing the reader fell what you felt. The flow was good, it could use just a little bit of work on the third stanza I think but I could be wrong. You did a great job well done!!
Keep writing your doing great.
A sweet tribut to you furry friend. You capured your feels very well. The flow of your poem was really good.
The seconed stanze I think was a little stiff but it was not to much of a slow down to make the piece hard to read and it did not slow the flow down to much to make a big differance. You did a great job, keep writing.
Never give up and Never give in!!!
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Well done, I really liked reading this story. You had me from the time I started reading. The plot was great and so was the setting. The charaters could have use a little bit of a touch up but it was a great read. Both the ending and the beging were strong and there were no areas in your story that was slow, I really liked reading your story you did a great job putting it together. Keep up the great work.
A dark twist to love and the powerful sad words you used made this poem a piece that will stick with me. You did a really good job with this poem and how you worded it. The dark and lonely feel to it was great and sad. Thank you for sharing this great poem with all of us.
Great job! This poem had many differant feelings flowing threw it. Well done on protraing them. I really like this poem and the feelings. The words you used made this poem very strong. I liked how this poem was about love, loss, and rebirth all in one. Well done!!
Keep writing you are doing great.
A very good poem, I too have spoken words at night to my husband when he sleeps. There is something about the dark of night that brings out the writer in all of us. Well done I love the words of this poem and how they bring a dreamy feel to the poem. Keep writing you are doing great.
Wow, this touched me deep in the heart. I remeber the beep of the heart monitor and the smeel of the hospital. Your words brought back my own loss and the feeling that no one cared wether my mother lived ot died. But that was not ture I can remember a nurse that walked out of the room after my mother was prononced dead. She cried all the way down the hall to the bathroom where she let the tears run free.
You did such a great job with this poem it had me teary eyes and sniffaling. Well done you really captured the sadness and the hurt.
Keep writing you are doing good.
Never give up and never give in!!!
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What a sad poem that touched my heart. I think this poem is great but it needs some structure. There where word like noone should be no one. There where lines where there should be spaces after the (.). Then setances should start with a capital letter. This is a great piece just touch it up some and you will have a great poem on your hands.
Keep writing its good for you!!
Never give up and never give in!!!
LOL this was funny. I think your poem was great!!!
You did a great job with wording it and the flow was good too. It sure was a change to read about what one think of their own poem writing. LOL you did a great job it sure did bring a smile to my face.
Never give up and never give in!!!
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A great poem with a meening. The part that just screams to you is It's how you carry it, how you deal The other powerful line is Everyone in life has had it hard.
I found one Typo: determins/ you need to put an E after the N.
Well done this poem flowed really well and the meening made it a great poem. Well done and keep writing you are doing good
Oh I think I just found my faverit poem!!! I love this poem and think it should be read by many, many people. So many people (ME TOO) think they know everything. and we don't. This would be great for classrooms and book marks. I really liked this poem it has a good moral behind it just right for kids. Kepp up the great work.
I could see the beautiful horses but I just could not feel any thing. Love, hate, anger in this piece. Try and reword it just a little to get your feelings across a little more. Other then that I really liked it. I would just love to see a pure white horse and own one. I miss my horse and all the time I spent riding. Well great job and keep writing.
What a cute love able story. Thank you for sharing I loved reading it. I had a dog show up like that just came right in and made our home her home. I miss that dog. This is such a sweet love story I am so glade she found a home.
This is a good story, I do think it can be better though. Try to change the beging a little to grab the read more. It was a good start it just needs a little more BANG to it to make the read go wow what next and to keep them reading. The polt was good and so was the story line. Now the Characters need to be worked on to bring them out a little more.
You have a great start here just polish it up some and you will have a great story. Good luck and keep writing.
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