Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I always love your writing but this seems really timely in 2020. You make the point of seeing others as individuals instead of putting them in groups. We talk about "thinking out of the box" but we are still prone to put people and ideas where we think they belong. It is like the media, assuming we will respond to this or that according to our politics. "If it bleeds, it leads" kind of thinking.
What I liked most: I love the ideas here and the way you presented it. This poem flows well and gets this important point across of uniqueness.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: Understood, I am so complicated, as we all are. What is the saying? "Thee is sinner in every saint and saint in every sinner.
If we could only realize this, we could come to the human table and change the world for the better. It sure needs it. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Some really deep perspective in this piece. I think a person with a lot of painful "worms" might need to see a therapist or someone in the ministry. It isn't good to keep it all inside because feelings can come out in negative ways. OK, enough armchair psychology, no one asked my opinion and I am not qualified. This was a well written honest piece full of feelings. I can identify with it. You are a very talented writer, no errors seen. Stay safe and creative.
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression:
You just crushed my heart, I am so very sorry. Thee isn't anything to say that can help. I hope that with time, the pain has eased somewhat. You expressed your love for your wife so well and the life you shared. It doesn't seem to matter how much time you have had, it is never enough. I lost my 1st husband when he was 57. We were separated but love was still there and children shared. Writing about it does help, pouring your heart out.
What I liked most: You opened yourself up and shared your pain and that is a beautiful. This is a wonderful tribute to your love. I like where you repeat I did what she wanted, I always did what she wanted. I get the idea that you two planned the ending the way she wanted. I was with my Mom and Dad and we kept hospice away until Dad was gone. It was peaceful and special, though it hurt emotionally. Dad was 66.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: It took me back to the bedside of my Dad and my husband-that is a talent to be able to touch others. Again I am sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and keep writing.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: There are so many wonderful writers at this site and I just discovered another one. This story had me in tears. You did an excellent job of describing the anguish of talking to a relative about a loved one that has died. As an RN, I have been in this position many times and it is always hard. Much harder when it is a child. I have a story in my port about a boy that is severely burned in an accident that is true. We lost him also, so I think you really touch on those emotions.
What I liked most: You kept the story short yet very real with details. You are a very talented writer and I love your characters.
Suggestions for change:There were a couple of mistakes in grammar and punctuation or I would have given this 5 stars.
This writing made me feel: Like I was there feeling what this EMT felt because I have been there. You do a very good job of portraying the despair of the job sometimes. But there are many times that you get to save someone and either way, being a healthcare worker is a rewarding profession. Holding someone's hand as they leave this world is also a comfort for the patient and the worker. Stay safe and creative. I will be back to your port.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: Beautifully written poem that pulls at the heartstrings. Your descriptive language is excellent as I can picture this whole scene.
What I liked most: A free verse poem like this sometimes works so well. This tells a story that flows without the extra details. You can fill that in with your own imagination.
The following really hit home:
Perhaps it was the throw-rug
of pride under which she swept improvidence;
I do not know. But a diamond will not sparkle
when enshrouded in a tomb.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: I am elderly myself and could identify with the woman in this piece. Right now, with the Covid Crisis, I have put off many medical and dental checkups. It is a really dangerous choice and I understand why many people do not want to expose themselves. How many have medical issues becoming worse due to the problems we are facing? This lady was a different situation but it is easy to have it happen if you don't have the money or are in denial. I really enjoyed this piece-excellent writing. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
I loved this-how does it feel to be inside Trump's brain? A very scary place indeed, I am sure. You are brave to go where no one else dares to travel. Seriously, I laughed so hard reading this-it is an amazing imitation of the man's words. Admirably written and enjoyed. Stay safe and creative-you have a wonderful imagination!
What a wonderful sweet story that you tell very well. I can picture your excitement. I am a little younger than you but I remember my Mom taking me to see "A Hard Days Night" at the GA Tech cinema which was filled with screaming girls. I have seen Paul McCartney a couple of times and he was wonderful, took my teenage sons to see him. Fun to experience my boys first concerts( pretty wild). First concerts are so special-mine was The Guess Who and I remember how exciting that was. I love where you talk about going back to England with them. The stuff we think of when we are young-amazing! It is a good thing I never wound up backstage with a rock idol, I would have done anything. I dated guys in garage bands, they were popular then and I was wild enough. Well, we all have to grow up but I still go to concerts with my husband, never miss a Springsteen concert-what a rush!!!! I loved reading your experience. Stay safe and creative.
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression:
I knew when I started reading this where you were coming from. I remember AIDS from the 1980s and taking care of patients then, knowing how sick they were, but not knowing enough about it to know how it would affect me. We didn't have anything to help them either and they were so young. The walls closing in, protecting myself from secretions, blood, and we didn't have face shields then. You have written a wonderfully descriptive piece of what healthcare workers go through and how you have to keep the right mindset and take care of yourself first then your patients.
What I liked most: You took me back to that crazy surreal feeling of RN "ICU psychosis". So many burn out and can't continue.
Suggestions for change:None
This writing made me feel: There is a part of me that wants to help right now although I am retired . Another part that knows I am the vulnerable one now. I think of all healthcare workers every day because no one knows what it is like until you live it. Stay safe and creative. This is wonderfully written so others get an idea of what it is like from the inside..
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression:
This us a beautiful poem with visual imagery and emotions, plus the emphasis of enjoying the moment.
What I liked most: I could picture the scene in my mind, like you had painted it.
Suggestions for change:
None, I have never heard of this poetic form so I learned something new.
This writing made me feel: A sense of contentment and peace and a reminder that we don't know what tomorrow brings. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
I really enjoyed this poem. It's part of growing pains we all go through when we are trying out a new relationship, no matter the age. Sooner or later the playing usually comes to an end and it is time to get serious about something. This poem flows well and stirs the emotions. Great writing. Stay safe and creative.
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: What an emotion packed powerful poem and I can relate. You paint a visual very well. I can see this person you care for, torn by another lover that is more powerful than you.
What I liked most:
You're sorry for not staying longer
and thankful for my hospitality.
There are other things, too
but you don't say them.
I love the vision of the red suitcase and her swaying back and worth.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: I see adult children coming over to our home smelling like booze. They have a teenager now and have found beer cans in his room. His Dad just home from the hospital, almost died from keto acidosis. They promise change, never seems to last. My words fall on deaf ears. We have another son in rehab after years of overdoses. I know exactly what you are talking about and you did it very well. Keep writing and stay safe.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: You really touch on a subject many will not go near. The possibility that some might be wrong is very frightening. This is a strong open minded poem of how many people hold up religion as the cure but when it doesn't work, they can blame those that question religion.
What I liked most: Your honesty is refreshing.
Love the following:
Your world is filled with blood and war,
do you even know what you're fighting for?
Dante's inferno, my own little ring,
the flames may burn but ignorance stings.
So explain your point, make it clear,
will I burned at the stake for your irrational fear?
Suggestions for change: The poem could flow a little better.
This writing made me feel: I do know exactly where you are coming from and people like us are few and mostly scorned. It isn't popular to question some things. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: This is an optimistic and yet realistic poem at a crucial time. I know myself that I spend more time than I ever have being anxious over what is going n in this world. The hourglass keeps turning and the clock's hands keep moving as my life is becoming shorter. I like the flow and the rhyming pattern also.
What I liked most: The hopeful note that you end on. Even during wars, soldiers played cards, laughed, and enjoyed friendships.
Suggestions for change:None
This writing made me feel: Like I should turn off the news and go for a walk around outside, enjoy the pleasures around us. Thanks and very good writing. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I love this piece. It made me feel so alive and grateful. I love rain also; even the thunderstorms. The power of Mother Nature to let us know just how she is feeling is a wonderful fact of life. Water makes up 80% (I believe) of the human body.
What I liked most: I could use all of my senses reading this. I can feel the cold on my body, smell the musty earth, taste the rain, and hear the thunder. Of course the visuals are wonderful.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: Alive and wondering the last time I actually walked in rain which I love. Tonight, I will open my bedroom window and listen, we are supposed to get showers. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I love this poem, there is so much emotion expressed in it. This is a tribute to your mother? Was she an artist? It sounds like she encouraged creativity and that is wonderful.
What I liked most:
You became a wilted flower, though helped us to bloom
Your hands crafted until your last breath,
Our hands will speak thy name with our crafts,
We mourn with tears with the pain in our heart
That is a really good visual of her becoming a wilted flower but had helped you to bloom with art. I also like the idea that with your art, her memory will live on.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: It reminds me of my own Mom, she was a wonderful painter and it was something she started at age 66 after my Dad died. I was amazed. She died in 2003. Her paintings hang in my home.
You are a talented poet. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression:
This is a lovely poem. It seems to be written about taking one day at a time because we are not promised tomorrow. It flows well and I love the repetition in it using a different emotion or activity to achieve.
What I liked most: It is optimistic and we can certainly use that right now. You made me question how well I am doing in my own life with important actions and feelings.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: Just thinking , I tend to dwell in the past as I grow older because I believe I was happier. Memories are never what reality is. We make them what we want. Very good read, stay creative, why not start today?
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: This brings back memories of innocence as a child when a summer day was stress free. I don't even remember that word. I love the poem, the sweetness of it, the flow and rhyme.
I is a combination of my childhood in the 1960's and my kids in the 1980's. Both were very different then now.
What I liked most:
Backyard sprinklers and water hoses,
eye goggles and plugged up noses
Swing sets and hot slides,
freeze tag and seek-n-find
Peroxide bleaches and lemon spray,
flip flops and sunny days
Memories of joy, in the summer haze.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: Nostalgic for those carefree days when school was out, eating cereal and going out to play, ride bikes, visit friends, no one locked doors, lighting bugs, days of joy. Thanks! Stay safe!
Kat
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: This is a really well written poem that speaks to the heart. It also flows well and has a rhythm. The tears in the writer's voice are noted.
What I liked most: I can identify with this poem. This was my Mom and me. She has been gone for 18 years now and I was her primary caregiver for the last 10 years of her life but we never really healed that rift. I grew to accept that she would never acknowledge me for who I really was. You just have to make peace with yourself.
You shush me when I speak
in front of family and friends.
I'm no longer a child,
a woman grown, older than when
you had me.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: I feel for anyone who has this problem with a parent. Over the years, looking at the whole picture, if you don't love yourself, you can't love others. Resentment isn't any way to live. This is an excellent read.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I really like this poem. It flows well and has a rhythm. I love poetry with details about the mysteries of the night when the passion of love and disturbing dreams take place. The night is elusive, we never know what those hours may bring.
What I liked most: I loved the following lines:
The bosom of the night is a world uncharted.
The silence is powerful, no sleep, no regret.
I fear the bright Sun in the morning.
She watches and waits, she has all the hours.
In the dawn she goes as the world arise ....
Never you fear, coz she lives in your eyes.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: I love the night now-I used to work night shift as an RN and never got enough sleep. It was exciting at times-it is a different world. Now I go to bed and dream the night away, most of the time, and the dreams are mostly sweet. Keep writing. Stay safe.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
I am hooked with your story. It is so good and I see the last time you have written anything in your port is 2017. I hope you are still coming around and plan to finished this. You are a very talented writer that does "show not tell" and I am terrible with that. I love your dialogue also, sounds so natural. Stay safe.
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression:
I am so very sorry that you are going through all this. You did a good job of showing us how your Mom's current mental state is and how frustrated and sad you are about it. I have been where you are and understand your feeling of " going to see her for yourself" and not for her sake and wanting peace for her. You knew a different person, one who has disappeared thanks to a heartless disease. I am glad you had such a long time with her that was valuable. Mom's came on over a period of about a year, then she had surgery, that we didn't even think she would survive, and she was gone after a year. I just felt relief for her.
What I liked most: You are very honest about your emotions and I am so glad you found a good place for her to live. It gives you peace of mind, I hope.
Suggestions for change: This is your essay to say what you want but I wanted to know more about what your Mom had been like before. You did a great job showing us what this sad situation is like. I loved the part about the dog.
This writing made me feel: It just brings tears for you because it is much harder on the family than the patient. I started really writing every day after Mom had her surgery and kept it up after she passed. I believe it saved me at the time because I had just lost my 1st husband and his Mom suddenly. Life is full of mountains to climb, thank God for the rainbows and the peaceful valleys. Best of luck and stay safe yourself.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I love this poem. You made me feel the emotions of losing a special love. It is never easy and happens to most of us at least once in a long lifetime. This poem describes feelings so beautifully, flows well and rhymes.
What I liked most:
Petal by petal you tore,
Into my heart, soul and mind.
Never to leave, you swore,
A reason to stay you couldn't find.
Suggestions for change: None
This writing made me feel: I have had these feelings and sadly, I have broken another's heart also. We are all imperfect humans and have to learn to forgive and move on. There is another love that was meant for you. Stay stay and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: This is a well written piece about the reality of life and how fast it can change .I like the way you refer to a family member and the way that you noticed his life was very different. It must really make a difference if you are blind from birth or lose your sight and can remember what the world was like. That would make the loss harder. I do know that when one sense is gone the others become more prominent.
What I liked most: The description of how life is for a blind person.
Suggestions for change: I love to know how people feel about their particular loss. I wrote a poem once about a blind man, who I spoke to, he was very content. I also have spoken to someone that has macular degeneration (which I have) and she learned to paint in her 70's with only 10% of her vision left. They were beautiful paintings. She did it from memory. My vision is going very slowly and I am 67. When you are older, something is always going. There isn't a cure so I am learning to deal with it.
This writing made me feel: When you spoke about the auto accident, I figure if you live, it is always a plus. Life is always more precious when you come close to losing it. People adjust to disabilities or they become bitter and depressed. Thanks for reminding me each day has meaning. Very well written. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
This is a lovely tribute to Audrey Hepburn, a beautiful woman and fine actress. When asked what she wanted to be remembered, she replied "humanitarian work". She gave to so many charities and all animals were so important to her. It wasn't just money, she went to Africa and other 3rd world countries to help others. She helped with PETA. I think she was such an elegant woman. Even when she was so ill with colon cancer, in a denim shirt, she looked radiant feeding an abandoned fur baby. Like Grace Kelly, she had that quality. Thanks for the lovely read. Stay safe and creative.
Any comments are only my personal ideas and meant as suggestions.
My overall impression: I was impressed with this lesson in learning about becoming a leader. Your metaphors, using the jungle with the hierarchy of animals, was a good example. Fear does contribute to both animal and human behavior as far as who is above them in the chain of superiority.
What I liked most: Your nine points about being a leader have credibility. I think there are some other qualities like knowledge that needs to be added. Also surrounding yourself with either people or references to refer to. I think we are talking about a successful leader with integrity here.
Suggestions for change:
You do have quite a few grammar and punctuation mistakes that need to be corrected. A leader needs check and recheck whatever information he/she is putting out for accuracy.
This writing made me feel: I enjoyed reading this and believe you make some really good points. Many leaders are chosen for different reasons. Whether you can do the task depends on a variety of things, mostly your interest and enthusiasm. People want to listen to someone they can believe in and will create change that helps the majority of others' lives. Stay safe and creative.
Always make the time to write. Your characters will speak to you, if you take the time to listen.
Keep writing!
Kat
In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?
—Rainer Maria Rilke
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