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1
1
Review by Kat
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very interesting story and subject. I've not read many stories about Purgatory. I noticed a few grammatical errors but, all in all, you wrote this quite well.

I look forward to reading more.

Thanks,
Kat
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2
2
Review of The Building  
Review by Kat
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm not a fan of vampire stories, but this one wasn't bad at all. I think you kept up the suspense very well.

I saw a few grammatical errors, but, all in all, I enjoyed your story. I also think it may have ended too quickly and abruptly.

Thanks for sharing,
Kat

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3
3
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Didn't like it at all! Sorry!

Kat

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4
4
Review of The Scream  
Review by Kat
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I liked the imagery until the end. I can't understand the scream from a blank countenance. No eyes, nose or lips? How did she scream? Was it a silent scream? If so, how did you hear it?

Please forgive my questions. I'm not a fan of Gothic.

Kat

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5
5
Review of THIRST  
Review by Kat
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A pack-rat for words. I love that! I, too, must be one of those for I treasure the flames that words create in my soul.

Wonderful work, Joy! I especially liked the last verse because words are oxygen, blood and fire to every writer and reader that I know.

Keep writing!
Kat

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6
6
Review of Forever  
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is lovely poem, but there are simply too many "forevers and togethers". If you were to take away a few of them, you would have a stronger poem.

Like this, perhaps:

I want to spend forever
with you.

The words "I do"
sound in my mind,
a sweet chorus
echoing in my heart
through all time.

I want to spend forever,
with you.
forever,
just us two.

We run through the night,
shouting for all the world to hear,

I want to spend forever with you
just us two
together.

Also, I was questioning the quotation marks on the last verse?

Thanks,
Kat

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7
7
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem about a gemstone. I love the way you have described the color and brilliance of the topaz. "Moonstones of marble cut from the Alps" is a great line!

It's difficult to write 250 characters about this poem. It's like defining the topaz; few words do not do it justice and too many words take away from it's beauty.

Thanks,
Kat

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8
8
Review of Pleasure  
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
OMG, what an accomplishment! Who would have thought this was about a dentist? You told an entire story in 55 words or less!

Congratulations!

Kat
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9
9
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this. It's soooo true. Those things can look very uninviting, even scary, especially to a child.

I do, however, suggest a new title. "Teeth" gives away the surprise at the end. Why not call it
"Denizens of the Night"?

Keep Writing,
Kat

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10
10
Review of I Can't  
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very short poem that speaks volumes! Those high school "loves" can be heart breakers and I think you've made that very clear in your poem.

Thanks for sharing,
Kat

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11
11
Review of Squirrel Hunting  
Review by Kat
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a very cute story! It's well written and the characters are believable.

I think I would have liked you to use your husband's name instead of referring to him as "he" or "my husband".

It would also be nice if you had a space between your paragraphs. Your story would not have looked so crowded.

Keep writing!
Kat

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12
12
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
What a story! It sounds like one of those cheap detective stories I used to read when I had nothing else to read. *Smile*

This would make a great little "tongue-in-cheek" movie.

You remind me of one of those writers who have absolutely nothing to say, but when they sit down to write, they still have nothing to say! *Smile*

Take care,
Kat

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13
13
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a very cute story. I enjoyed reading it and it certainly held my attention. I do, however, find myself wondering why Isaac didn't get the hairdresser to simply put another, more normal color, on his hair and cover up the green?

Thanks for giving me a chuckle on St. Patrick's Day!
Kat

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14
14
Review of My World  
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this very much, but I do see some corrections that are needed. I think in the first line,
"tag's" should be "tags'" if there are more than one tag. If only one "tag" you can leave off the "s".

In the last line of the first verse, I think "mowed" should be changed to "mown".

Thanks for sharing,
Kat

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15
15
Review by Kat
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved this poem. It is for "every" man and every couple who have worked a life together. I like the rhythm, first and third lines rhyming and then second and fourth lines rhyming.

I especially liked the story of this couples lives exemplified in the golden wedding band...how the years have taken their toll, but only making them stronger.

Thanks,
Kat
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16
16
Review of The Cut  
Review by Kat
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Sad, painful poem! I can see this person cutting herself to let the pain out. It's her only way of dealing with the pain she carries inside. I'm very familiar with this cutting. I've learned it just doesn't work. If it did, we wouldn't have to keep doing it.

Finding someone we trust to talk to can start the healing process and stop the cutting.

Please find someone and keep writing. Writing is another way of revealing the pain.

Warmest regards,
Kat
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17
17
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (4.5)
This did, indeed, touch my heart. It's a lovely, tender poem about new motherhood!

I think I would change one thing. Perhaps, in the last line of the last verse, "Putting him to bed" would be more in keeping with the POV of the rest of that verse and would flow more easily.

Keep writing!
Kat

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18
18
Review of Verse  
Review by Kat
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I'm not familiar with the technical terms and aspects of poetry. I do, however, know what I like to read and write. I liked this one very much and it makes me want to know more, technically.

I especially liked the last stanza and the last line, "that magic we call verse." It is, indeed, magic!

Kat
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19
19
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (5.0)
Heart wrenching, amazing and painful poem! It's wonderful what God's grace can do. I hear your pain in every single word of this poem and I will be praying for this awesome child.

Warm regards,
Kat

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20
20
Review of Spring Whispers  
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very good Haiku. I think rocks-fau should be "rocks-faux". Still, you kept to the rules of Haiku. The subject is nature, which is good and the imagery is excellent.

I love Haiku because it says so much in so few words. You've succeeded in painting a picture and telling a story in 5, 7, 5.

Keep Writing,
Kat
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21
21
Review of An Eternal Love.  
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I have to admit, I don't get the current fascination with werewolves and vampires, etc. I do find your poem very well written in spite of the subject matter.

It is a timely topic and should find a large following. Keep up the good work.

Take care,
Kat
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22
22
Review of Zoey Alice  
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This absolutely broke my heart! I have four cats and I know exactly how you must have felt. I've lost two cats that I loved very much. Both were tragic losses, sudden and so incredibly unexpected!

Your poem is excellent. It tells the story in few, but very important, words...the words of love.

Keep writing!
Kat
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23
23
Review of "Laura"  
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was certainly different, and I loved it! I did, however, suspect that what I was reading wasn't what I was reading?

You kept my attention and made me read to the end. That, in itself, is very good.

I didn't quite understand this one sentence, “So, after this is done, they won't be the topic of discussion every time my name comes up?" Perhaps you could write it a little bit differently or, simply, enlighten me.

Keep writing!
Kat
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24
24
Review of A Moonless Night  
Review by Kat
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a lovely story, but I have to admit, I didn't see much of The Glass Coffin here. The only resemblance was Tristan, the brother, who had raised his sister, after their parents died.

I think perhaps you should use "adaptation" instead of "adaption" in your title.

I think I would change the first paragraph a bit:
Dusk came with the bursting of the sun, touching the horizon. The world was bathed in a yellow-orange light, emanating from the glowing orb. Although the light from the setting sun was brilliant, it paled in comparison to the glow of Evelyn.

Keep writing!
Kat
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25
25
Review by Kat
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a cute story with potential. I think you should give it a new title because it doesn't really talk much about white snow turning black.

Here are some suggestions:

First Paragraph (you might try this):
In 1999, I was on a business trip with my company in Italy. Most of my colleagues were keen skiers and, during their free time, went skiing in the mountains. Since we were on the Italian side of Mont Blanc (Courmayeur), I decided to take a cable car to the top. It was a cold day with very little wind and a clear blue sky. As I waited for the cable car, I noticed that there were only three other people waiting with me...a couple and one other person.

Second Paragraph:
As the cable car slowly made it's way up the mountain, I looked in awe at the panoramic view around me. I found myself humming the song, "If My Friends Could See Me Now". Suddenly there was a rumbling sound. It became louder and louder as the clear blue sky became darker and darker. The cable car stopped, suspending us on the mountain side. I wondered why and how such a perfect day could change so suddenly? A million thoughts went around in my mind. The other people and I exchanged glances, but no one dared to speak. Somehow, I got up the courage to walk to the front of the car, which appeared suspended in space, and learned that there had been an avalanche. My first thoughts were of my colleagues skiing on the mountain.

Third paragraph:
After a very long wait, the power was restored and the cable car made its way slowly down the mountain slope. As soon as we stopped, my first impulse was to race out of the car and back to the hotel to enquire about my colleagues. However, since the cable car entrance was on a hill, I had to climb through the blackest, deepest snow one could image because the avalanche had reached the cable car.

Fourth paragraph:
As I looked down the slope, I saw lots of TV cameras and activity. I also noticed that the many cars, parked near the entrance, were completely submerged in snow. At that moment, I wondered if their occupants would ever return to claim them.

Fifth paragraph:
With heavy feet, I made it back to the hotel. I was relieved to hear that all my skiing colleagues had been warned about bad snow conditions and had decided to ski in another area. It seemed that I was the one who had not been informed about what could, and did, happen.

Sixth paragraph:
That evening, we all celebrated the fact that were were safe and sound with a nice Italian Asti Spumanti. The next day we returned to work with heavy heads, but much lighter spirits!

Keep writing,
Kat
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