April 28, 2023
 FIRST IMPRESSION
Aspen is going to high school for the first time this year. Born in the 1950's, she is coming of age in the scintillating seventies of America. She has been to a Beatle's concert (for real?) and is preparing to be an All American Tennis Champion. She's an American girl through and through with a love for history and a charming way of viewing literature. Aspen has the advantage of a two parent upbringing that seems free of the anxiety of love/hate relationships with which most families were plagued with in that decade.
 THEME
Aspen is a girl on the cusp of something grand and wonderful. She has a natural curiosity about history and literature, and is growing up with the love and security of a loving family. She is seeking new friends and new adventures and all is right with Aspen's world. If only her greatest expectations would be met, and sooner than later.
 STRUCTURE
"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore (Chap1)"  is the first chapter of a novel. It is written with an omnipotent point of view. Aspen is the central voice and her view generally is the one used to bring the story to life, but the perspective of each of the characters is noted by the author throughout the narrative. There is a good balance between action, dialogue and story telling in this opening chapter.
The development of the characters is well paced and each person in the story is set with an intentional purpose of being a part of Aspen's evolving universe.
  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
This was my favorite moment:
“Aspen followed Arlo out the school doors and let out a breath of relief. Her first day of high school was over with. It had not been as bad as she had been expecting.
'Not as bad as you thought, right, Aspen,' Arlo questioned, nudging her side as he did so.
Aspen absentmindedly straightened out her head scarf and shook her head.
'No. I didn’t make any friends though,' she admitted, sounding dejected, as her eyes scanned the group of kids rushing from the building.
Arlo hummed sympathetically and tucked an arm around her shoulders as they headed down the steps.”
I was always surprised when I came across siblings who have this kind of relationship. Is it that rare? I think perhaps it is. Or maybe I just didn't recognize the signs when I saw them. Never-the-less, rare or not, the bond between Arlo and Aspen is precious. The treatment of their relationship adds charm to the story. Here there seems to be an abundance of love and respect. Imagine a world where this was the foundation of all human relationships.
 SUGGESTIONS
There are many suggestions I could make, but I am going to limit my suggestions to just three.
First, I would like to see the narrative slow up a lot. This is a novel after all and should read more like a marathon rather than a sprint. The flow of the story is beautiful. But that flow sets my expectation on, "Let's explore more of the details around this young girl's life." She is a well balanced teen-ager. Let's start there. I've known a few. Very few. How did that happen? She designed her own bedroom! That's a great place to start. Where is it in relationship to the rest of the house? Pictures? Furnishings? Window's view? What conversations is she having with herself? Are they new, or the same ones she has every day? How does she identify with herself? What in the room represents that identity? A trophy from a fourth grade beginner's tennis tournament?
Second, what can you bring into the story that is representative of the year 1970/71 that makes me believe this is the setting for this story? She went to a Beatle's concert when she was 10? That's great. Why? Where? The Beatles played in 16 American cities in 1966. That tour was tainted by an unfortunate remark by John Lennon and provoked demonstrations in most of the cities they visited. So what city would Aspen have gone to to see the Beatles? Seattle, Chicago, Los Angeles, or Cleveland, etc.? While America of 1970 had unique happenings, each city had its own unique problems and responses to race, anti-war, rock 'n' roll. While Aspen may be too young at the beginning of the novel to be impacted by any of these issues, something from this "bag" of history would be essential to establish that Aspen's growth as a teen in the 70's is going to be dramatically different than a teen growing up today. She is into tennis? In 1970 Rosie Casals, a Wimbledon champion, with 9 other women, broke away from the governing body of tennis to form a women only tour that became the "Women's Tennis Association." While not Aspen's whole world, bits of the outer world would more than likely show up in her world in the form of magazines, articles, and newspaper clippings.
Third, there are some descriptions you use for movement that you might consider changing or deleting altogether. My favorite donut shop is the hang out for a number of 13 and 14 year olds. They do walk. They jump. One even skips. Yes, there is one who seems to hop. But I wouldn't use "trot" or "clamoring" to describe any of their movements. My opinion is that motion in describing what is going on around Aspen has a limited amount of appeal. Given this is a novel, you will wear yourself out trying to think of unique "motions" to use for 150 pages. If the scene is important enough to highlight, take some time to make it hyper real: sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, colors, emotion, passions, etc.
As you consider rewriting this chapter, I hope these ideas will be helpful.
IN SUMMARY
"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore (Chap1)" begins the story of a young girl's first high school year. As the 1970s are beginning, America is a different place in which to mature. High school dress codes will disappear, teachers will be restricted in their attempts to discipline children, teen agers will become more socially and politically conscious and music, food, clothing, and morals will become astoundingly diverse. How will Aspen's life be shaped? Will the love of family and friends sustain her as she grows in wisdom, knowledge and understanding of the real world? I have no doubt! 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
Kind Regards,
 ~Kenword~ 
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