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712 Public Reviews Given
729 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try my best to read everything on Writing.com with great care. My reviews always include a first impression, my feelings about theme and structure and where appropriate, some thoughts about possible revisions.*Mugr*
I'm good at...
I give my best reviews on stories, poems and articles that hold my interest and stir up my emotions.~~ *Smile*
Favorite Genres
Religious/Spiritual,Romance, Historical, Mystery, Fantasy and Sci-Fi.~~ *Cool*
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica and Vampire/Werewolf/Zombie.
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poems, Articles and Essays. ~~
Least Favorite Item Types
lessons and puzzles. ^^*Mugr*
I will not review...
Will not review anything with a rating over 18; no horror or erotica.^^*Mugr*
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
May 2023 Raid Image


Hello Tim Chiu , I selected "May Your Heart Know Love from your portfolio to read and review, as part of the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group's May Review Raid.
Thank you for your support of the Writing.com community!

May 20, 2023



*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
To love is to love love. It is a pinnacle of life experience. Some say that love has failed. So it may seem. But the question is was it a love that ascends beyond the petty and dismissive to the bonded, wedded, submissive heart kind of love. Not just in one soul, but in both hearts together creating life in every smile, grimace, and laugh. The peaks and valleys of love. The spellbinding, amazing, peaceful wonder of love. For those who have attained such bliss, the world is less virtual and more real, moment by sweet sanctified moment.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
There is a love that transcends the mundane. There is a love that transcends the horrors. There is a love that brings two hearts together to be meshed into each other's soul for the pure understanding of the other. One serves. Another receives. And then the roles are reversed and it is not just a flat-line endurance of life but an ever rising spiral of love, respect and joy forever more.
 

*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"May Your Heart Know Love is a poem written in free form with the beauty of a first person monologue. The images of windswept valleys, views from a perch and peaceful wonder, help the flow of some of the more ethereal revelations of what love is.

*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I gaze in amazement at life down below and experience
A true sense of calm and peaceful wonder.
Your delight in my transcendentalized being
Must surely be intentional; I am quite uniquely absorbed
In your trust and guidance. "


A great joy in my life is to be living this reality out every moment of every day. When I am with my love, she is heartened by my calm and peaceful wonder of what God has done me, and for us together. She gives back the greatest measure of trust and counsel my heart could ever hope for and there is more than I can take in of the pleasure that rushes in.

*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Every word sang to me. My soul is refreshed. Thank You!

*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"Make Your Dreams Come True declares that there is a love that is majestic, and superbly regal. It is a committed love where even the understanding of it all is in reach. There is love. The hope of love. The understanding of love. We are knitted together in love, often times more than we know.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*



(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 05.20.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Catch-22  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings ridinghhood-p.boutilier , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Catch-22 from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

May 14, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Wondrous life, with the markings of a life lived fully, stares into the face of God knowing more now about what awaits, than a thousand middle aged wisemen. Only those who fear the Lord, Creator of all things are bold enough to take on the universe with muscle and bone. The cosmos is there for my body to explore if I just could get beyond the limits of gravity and flesh. And then, in the wink of an eye: I will!

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
"I Whisper and, hope, and shudder," for the silence that will be left in place when our soul and body leave this earth for eternity. And occasionally, if I listen real carefully, I can hear the voice of the preacher screaming in my ear.

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Catch-22 is a beautifully crafted free form poem. Exemplary in its imagery, word choice, visuals and sounds, I feel a soul on the other side of the prose abiding with other souls searching for what truly limits our ability to experience life at full throttle.  

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“My body is a paradox, a conundrum,
a catch-22.
I live in it but like Spinoza
I do not know all it can do.
I am cosmic dust”


How long have I lived content within the limits of what my body allows? Do I even dare consider anything beyond the paradox. Inside I am younger. In my soul's liturgy I should be running faster, jumping higher, swimming laps not strokes, grabbing a horse by the mane and pulling myself onto his back in full stride, driving my Corvette 170 miles an hour through the banked "S" turns at... but while I rub my aching feet and stretch my weary back, O how I would love to ride the moon beams. My mind approves all the adventures. My body vetoes. Not in judgement. But with a knowing smile.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
You have given full expression to one of life's great conundrums. Uniquely and beautifully and wisely written! Thank You. *Smile*


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Catch-22 goes beyond the facts friend. Not the full truth of it all perhaps, but certainly on the cusp of breaking through what mankind has called theology for centuries. The soul is designed for something the human body can't deliver outside of the laws of nature and physics. But the soul knows that it is one day going to happen. The total break-out! In the meantime I'll rub out those sore spots on my ankles.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 05.14.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Thanks God!  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings A*Monaing*Faith , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Thanks God! from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

May 14, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Where does our hallowed meditation begin? In wonder? In confusion? In hope of a moment with the Creator of all things? Perhaps. But a few thoughts passing in the presence of our Father, and it becomes clear that we are because of Him. Then it is our praise that begins to flow up. Why? The Lord answers that inquiry in Isaiah 43:21 He has given us all of His good that we would be His people, "...the people whom I (God) formed for myself that they might declare my praise." In the music of this poem is the hymn of praise to the God I serve, and I find joy in how much wonder there is in the act of reading and writing an ode of thanks to the Lord Most High. Adonai.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Praise and thanksgiving.  Much of the human experience may not seem praise worthy, but when we look into the Book, God's precious words of life, we understand that every experience, good or bad, is praise worthy. To give thanks in the midst of every trial and temptation is true sacrifice. In each word I hear the voice of one who willed themselves to overcome each major challenge life has afforded.

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Thanks God! is written in free form with many varied rhythms and rhymes that hint at a pattern, but the words and thoughts are not bound to any one particular scheme. 

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Minutiae I offer,
for Your delight;”


Everything that mankind brings to God is out of our heart of love for Him. Sometimes the offering is the thought of Him, the thanks to Him, even a sacrificial moment of joy brought to Him. We are His workmanship made for worship and praise, and in the middle of my most mundane task I can find my smile is for Him and Him alone. Small, but a tangible treasure in the courts of eternity.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I loved your poem just as it is written. Thank You. *Smile*


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Thanks God! proclaims the journey a soul takes in finding a way of thanksgiving to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 05.14.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Requested Review *Horse*

Good Morning Izzy's Writing , I was pleased to receive an invitation to review  "The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore(pt2).  Thank you for your kind request.



April 28, 2023


*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 

Aspen's love of literature and its connection with history is explored in greater depth as the second chapter of the novel begins. Her mother and father are pleased with her love of reading and her high level of curiosity about the lives of famous people. Aspen's perspective on everything makes her an extremely interesting character. She begins living the wonder years with a greater energy than I possessed at her age, and it is a joy to read about a girl whose life is regimented enough to allow her a broad range of interactions and experiences.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
The second chapter of this novel continues the theme of a young girl going into a larger world of experiences than she has ever been in before. Within Aspen's world she is finding the gravity of family and school to be just what she needs to thrive. And in the midst of her life's major transitions, she is about to make her first real friend in her new world.

 
*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore(pt2) is the second chapter of a novel. It continues to be written with an omnipotent point of view. Aspen is still the central voice and her view is the one most often used to keep the narrative flowing. There is an increasingly good balance between action, dialogue and story telling in this chapter of the book.
 
There is a purposeful focus on Aspen in this chapter which helps the reader establish a greater connection to this main character of the book.

*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“As she found a seat at a desk near the front of the class, she accidently bumped elbows with another girl and saw serval books fall.

'Oh! I am quite sorry,' she cried out, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment as she hurried to help.

'It’s cool, no need to worry,' a raspier voice replied.

Startled, Aspen looked to her left and saw, kneeling on the floor next to her, a girl with rings of red curls scattered about her head. Her eyes held a sea-green color and her smile felt welcoming.


The ways of friendships forming are as varied and mythical in literature, as the scenes in a Tolkien novel. Some of my best real life friendships were birthed out of goof ups and awkwardness. I am even married to my best friend who was not really impressed with my first failed attempts at getting her attention. But it is good that Aspen has at last met a "Jen." Every story needs a "Jen" who excuses our bumps and awkwardness. "Jens" are quick to forgive our messiness and our failed best intentions. Good for Aspen.

*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 
My suggestions from my previous review I would still stand by in this chapter. The scene setting could be significantly fuller in order for the reader to admire the real world you imagine Aspen to live in. You have introduced a number of characters thus far who can help Aspen with filling out the world around her in conversation and observation, and you, as the author can paint the scenes to really make the flavor of a 1970's home and school environment a living reality.

My one additional suggestion to what I have already mentioned would be to make all of the dialogue more casual for Aspen and a lot less formal for her brother, teacher and parents. We had amazing conversations in the 70's. But the world was becoming so casual so rapidly that it was complicated keeping up with slang terminology and phraseology. Parents who complained of not understanding the conversation of their children in the 60's were completely mystified in the 70's.

Again, it is a matter of considering what Aspen, a fourteen year old girl, would think about all the time that would define her identity. There is an exercise where one just free writes all of the thoughts and ideas of their main character for 20 or 30 minutes without judging what is written. If you did that for Aspen's sake What you may find is a child who is just a bit more frazzled and less disciplined. She may have deeper emotions and talk a bit of incomprehensible jiberish once in a while. I'm sorry. As a teenaged boy I had several girl friends whose line of thinking completely baffled me. Its possible I've still not recovered.

There are several edits that I noticed:

1) “Come on, body. It is far too early to be awake,” she grumbled to herself. Didn’t her body understand that teenagers needed sleep? I believe the word "needed" should be "need."

2) “'Well, most freshmens I have met are rather polite and helpful. I believe the word "freshmens" should be "freshmen."

I hope these suggestion will be a help in your next rewrite.


*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore(pt2) is a continuation of Aspen's story. She is on her way. In history what she is experiencing would be considered moving into a new era. What she has been in the past will leave a bit of flavor in how she develops as a young woman. But the immediate interactions will no doubt form her world view, her identity, and the foundation for who she will become, faster than anyone could ever imagine. Without a doubt!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*


Please Visit


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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 04.28.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)^^RequestedID: 127469^^


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A Requested Review *Horse*

Good Morning Izzy's Writing , I was pleased to receive an invitation to review  "The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore (Chap1).  Thank you for your kind request.



April 28, 2023


*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 

Aspen is going to high school for the first time this year. Born in the 1950's, she is coming of age in the scintillating seventies of America. She has been to a Beatle's concert (for real?) and is preparing to be an All American Tennis Champion. She's an American girl through and through with a love for history and a charming way of viewing literature. Aspen has the advantage of a two parent upbringing that seems free of the anxiety of love/hate relationships with which most families were plagued with in that decade.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
Aspen is a girl on the cusp of something grand and wonderful. She has a natural curiosity about history and literature, and is growing up with the love and security of a loving family. She is seeking new friends and new adventures and all is right with Aspen's world. If only her greatest expectations would be met, and sooner than later.

 
*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore (Chap1) is the first chapter of a novel. It is written with an omnipotent point of view. Aspen is the central voice and her view generally is the one used to bring the story to life, but the perspective of each of the characters is noted by the author throughout the narrative. There is a good balance between action, dialogue and story telling in this opening chapter.
 
The development of the characters is well paced and each person in the story is set with an intentional purpose of being a part of Aspen's evolving universe.

*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Aspen followed Arlo out the school doors and let out a breath of relief. Her first day of high school was over with. It had not been as bad as she had been expecting.

'Not as bad as you thought, right, Aspen,' Arlo questioned, nudging her side as he did so.

Aspen absentmindedly straightened out her head scarf and shook her head.

'No. I didn’t make any friends though,' she admitted, sounding dejected, as her eyes scanned the group of kids rushing from the building.

Arlo hummed sympathetically and tucked an arm around her shoulders as they headed down the steps.”


I was always surprised when I came across siblings who have this kind of relationship. Is it that rare? I think perhaps it is. Or maybe I just didn't recognize the signs when I saw them. Never-the-less, rare or not, the bond between Arlo and Aspen is precious. The treatment of their relationship adds charm to the story. Here there seems to be an abundance of love and respect. Imagine a world where this was the foundation of all human relationships.

*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 

There are many suggestions I could make, but I am going to limit my suggestions to just three.

First, I would like to see the narrative slow up a lot. This is a novel after all and should read more like a marathon rather than a sprint. The flow of the story is beautiful. But that flow sets my expectation on, "Let's explore more of the details around this young girl's life." She is a well balanced teen-ager. Let's start there. I've known a few. Very few. How did that happen? She designed her own bedroom! That's a great place to start. Where is it in relationship to the rest of the house? Pictures? Furnishings? Window's view? What conversations is she having with herself? Are they new, or the same ones she has every day? How does she identify with herself? What in the room represents that identity? A trophy from a fourth grade beginner's tennis tournament?

Second, what can you bring into the story that is representative of the year 1970/71 that makes me believe this is the setting for this story? She went to a Beatle's concert when she was 10? That's great. Why? Where? The Beatles played in 16 American cities in 1966. That tour was tainted by an unfortunate remark by John Lennon and provoked demonstrations in most of the cities they visited. So what city would Aspen have gone to to see the Beatles? Seattle, Chicago, Los Angeles, or Cleveland, etc.? While America of 1970 had unique happenings, each city had its own unique problems and responses to race, anti-war, rock 'n' roll. While Aspen may be too young at the beginning of the novel to be impacted by any of these issues, something from this "bag" of history would be essential to establish that Aspen's growth as a teen in the 70's is going to be dramatically different than a teen growing up today. She is into tennis? In 1970 Rosie Casals, a Wimbledon champion, with 9 other women, broke away from the governing body of tennis to form a women only tour that became the "Women's Tennis Association." While not Aspen's whole world, bits of the outer world would more than likely show up in her world in the form of magazines, articles, and newspaper clippings.

Third, there are some descriptions you use for movement that you might consider changing or deleting altogether. My favorite donut shop is the hang out for a number of 13 and 14 year olds. They do walk. They jump. One even skips. Yes, there is one who seems to hop. But I wouldn't use "trot" or "clamoring" to describe any of their movements. My opinion is that motion in describing what is going on around Aspen has a limited amount of appeal. Given this is a novel, you will wear yourself out trying to think of unique "motions" to use for 150 pages. If the scene is important enough to highlight, take some time to make it hyper real: sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, colors, emotion, passions, etc.

As you consider rewriting this chapter, I hope these ideas will be helpful.

*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"The Flowers Aren't Young Anymore (Chap1) begins the story of a young girl's first high school year. As the 1970s are beginning, America is a different place in which to mature. High school dress codes will disappear, teachers will be restricted in their attempts to discipline children, teen agers will become more socially and politically conscious and music, food, clothing, and morals will become astoundingly diverse. How will Aspen's life be shaped? Will the love of family and friends sustain her as she grows in wisdom, knowledge and understanding of the real world? I have no doubt!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*


Please Visit


GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 04.28.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)^^RequestedID: 127468^^


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Driftwood  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings a Sunflower in Texas , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Driftwood from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Near the sea. By the incoming wash of sultry waves. Where I would like to be. Where adventures proceed along the path of life where I have exerted myself to slide into my routine. But something is different today. The immediate washing of toes and sandals maybe is only a moment of the journey, for the storms reshape everything, speak a language that rightly terrifies those who watch out for us. Those who see the clouds, hear a new sound in the ocean's roar; are they just alarmists or do the waves truly rise to heights 30 feet above our bodies? And then a prize. Something to imagine into a wonderful trophy from a place far away from here.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The walk on a hurricane swept beach encourages the walker to muse about the aftermath of a transforming storm. There is something once stately and strong, uprooted and dying. There is dangerous debris. There is the beauty of just being a part of something that may have originated from the headwaters of a far away island.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Driftwood Written in free form prose, with images and rolling rhythm tells a story filled with the sounds and vibrations of a lonely, littered stretch of peaceful coastline. In the lyric are interactions with the "dunes," "sea," "coconuts," "starfish," and "refuse." In the debris in the wake of present and past storms are a "leafless tree," "sewage syringes," and "driftwood." The scope of the prose is inspirational for those who no longer find adventure in the wonder of nature. The pictures from each line have unique meaning. And at the same time tie the whole landscape together beautifully.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“The trees, now driftwood, so smooth to touch,
from far away places, washed clean of debris
must come home with me. A craft idea will come
from the land and the seas and my pieces of driftwood.”


Yes. This is the ending. It could just as well be the beginning. Taking a walk through the passage ways of my soul, I could have lighted on many such places of "slurpy steps," gems from another place and time, leafless trees, and dangerous debris. Its all in there. Every walk may be a metaphor for life now lived. Over. Yet, finding something new that lets me know, there are creative moments still in me to enjoy with the great energy of my youth.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I liked the varying line lengths and tempos in your prose. I am pleased with the way you've woven a story into a poem with many textures, sounds and images. Write on!


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Driftwood awakens my imagination to the rewards waiting a stroll out into my usual routine. I will need a dose of expectation though. It is possible to come across newly reshaped landscapes with a few simple gifs to take home. For me, it has been people. Treasures. Lately, I have been more and more surprised by the beautiful encounters I have with family and friends. More love. More genuine care and compassion has shown up all around me. What was once just routine walks on familiar beaches, often alone in my soul, now has all the possibility of being filled with wonder and the reward of love. Life is never static.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings turtlemoon-dohi , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Walking Between Raindrops from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers


March 22, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Exquisite images and flow, sets this poem in my soul's parlor front window. Here I could sit for hours listening to the fresh sounds of my native language. I know no other. So I am enriched when visited by gentle prose with no more demand on me than to enrich my quiet moments of reverie. Oh yes. I am selfish that way.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Thoughts take off on a journey of adventure to experience the fullness of fall. It's colors, sounds and smells momentarily covered by a mist that the mind expertly whisks away. What is experienced is a moment walking in the beauty of all that is good and holy about creation.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Walking Between Raindrops is written in "free form" allowing the flow of the sounds to have a special life in the music the words create. The rhythm is never frantic, and the pace is easily set by how my imagination wants to revel in all the author offers to contemplate.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Fast trekking
released an earthy perfume
stirring and blending impressions to pique all senses”


I encouraged my soul to push along at a quicker pace as these words inspired a desire to taste the essence of what was being released from the forest. Is this where I actually grew up? How did I not drink it in? Why did I squander the moments to try and impress Candy Jenkins at the Frostie Freeze? She would have never understood the passion that would awaken in me for the land of my birth. The perfume. The colors. The chorus of life, never touched by human hands. Pure. Unsullied.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Perfection.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Walking Between Raindrops celebrates one of the places a mind of extraordinary imagination can go, and paints a picture of a moment when everything is wondrous, glorious, sensual and not easily put away. Was it just something that visited me out of the mist of my youth? No. Its a living part of my soul. Thank you for reminding me to be on more walks with my soul.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Spring  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Sharon , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Spring from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Sweet memories of a "near spring" in Gig Harbor materializes in the words of your poem, as I recall a getaway to the blessed community of retirees, arts, sailing and family. Gig Harbor. There were quiet walks through the park and the marina. A stroll through the Harbor History Museum and an amazing Burger at "The Gourmet Burger Shop." We bought a "spring flag" at a boutique, then dodged as much rain as possible, as we dashed to our car. Loved it then. Love it still, though only a memory now. The early blooming flowers were spectacular. Memorable. Your words cast an amazing vision, where gardens were filled with more evergreens than bare naked sticks and branches. Missouri.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Every spring, near a beautiful harbor, there is the great expectation that warmth, eternal blue skies and robust colors in every garden would declare the passing of winter forever. But winter won't always let go without its last kisses of frost and gale.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Spring is written with a lot life in its form, rhythm and rhymes. The last line of each stanza rhymes with the last word in the following line. Every line, except the second to the last line contains 8 syllables. Within this form the poem keeps a spritely tone and is pleasant to read.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Spring's arrived, but winter stays
to cool the air for those who play”


I never noticed micro climates until I moved to Washington. I worked in Queen Anne where spring would arrive in force long before March 20th, but at home, in Shoreline, just 12 miles away, spring never arrived until May! Gig Harbor was brilliant and warm the day we arrived in the middle of February, and snowing a day later when we left. But the beauty of it all? Oh my the exquisite beauty no matter the season. In the Midwest? - We pray fervently for spring!

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I loved your poem just as it is written. Thank You. *Smile*


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Spring declares that the breezes, and freezes, and momentary warmth, lost in a rain filled wind are all part of what keeps the soul on edge waiting for spring. It is in the flowers, that the glorious promise of spring resides. To see them is a lift to even the chilliest of hearts!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings PENsive is Meemaw x 3! , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "The Miracle of Friends from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

It is good to remember how blessed we are to have friends in our lives. Whether they sit with us after our surgery, or take care of the many things that are put on hold during recovery, friends are a gift from heaven. Being a friend of help and support is a joy, as well, and while there is always the giving and receiving, all are blessed as the relational bonds grow in strength.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
A mom must go into rehab. Her child Jeffrey, reticent to be away from his mom, is finally convinced by a good friend, to be a part of their family for the time it takes mom to recover. The road to building trust and acceptance with Jeffrey is a central part of how much the mom is served by her friends, in her recovery.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"The Miracle of Friends is told in a first person narrative style, but from the perspective of her friends and Jeffrey. The dialogue is honest and helps move the story in a clear, objective manner. The mom's voice is most evident when she speaks of what Jeffrey is experiencing. Mom's know, sometimes even when we, as children, don't exactly know what is going on.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“She turned to leave the building with Stephen, and started towards the door. She took a few steps when she heard a couple of running steps on the linoleum floor and then felt a couple of gentle tugs on the hem of her dress. She turned, facing little Jeffrey once again. He looked up at her, not saying anything.”

I love children. It has been a journey to obtain love and satisfaction when being in their company. But this scene rings so true. What I may see as minor adjustments in attitude and emotional intelligence in a child, is actually huge! When the barriers to creating friendships cannot be overcome without the gentle nudge of a loving adult, loving adults need to step up. The kindness of Stephen's mom will be remembered by Jeffrey all the rest of his life because she helped to overcome a fear that would have only served to keep him alone and disconnected from life, probably for the rest of his life.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Very well done. I look forward to reading your next entry in the story.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"The Miracle of Friends is a story from the heart of one who is both healing but at the same time rejoicing. Giving thanks for friendships and the specific ways friendship come "to the rescue," is a healing tonic in itself. The story expresses the wonder of seeing ones' child accepted, loved and encouraged at the point when it is most critical for both mother and son. With every reading I was reminded to be thankful for the friends who have been my solace in times of struggle and pain. Thank you.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Another day given  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Inspirational Work Of Praise *Horse*


Good Morning G. B. Williams , I have enjoyed your writing and was pleased to read  "Another day given from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review. As an exceptional inspirational poem, I am nominating it as "The Most Inspirational Poem" of the month. I am glad you make such a great contribution to WDC.

March 15, 2023



*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 

The goodness of God is every where. The goodness is especially evident in the "day given." It is in the day given to us by God that we find a voice to praise Him. We discover the words that exalt Him. We discover the reasons to take more time to be exuberant and celebratory of how much He loves us and cares for us. Your words inspire. Your words elevate my thoughts to the realm where God is Sovereign over everything that ever was, and is and will be. Thank you for given so much of yourself into crafting this wonderful song of praise.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
God is everything. We can know that God is in all, and above it all, because of the day that He has given. Considering the ferocity of natural forces, the wonder of seasons, and the "feet" on which I stand at the dawning of the day, praise is the desire of this day, and every day. Praise to the One who has gifted us with many days, and then eternity.

 
*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"Another day given is written in free form couplets that emphasize the Lordship of God Almighty, in contrast to some of the toughest seasons we may experience in life. The cadence of the verses is bright, and the images inspire one to consider not just the forces that stand up to resist our desire for peace and tranquility, but to give praise to the God who will help us to prevail from now through the new life in heaven.
 
*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Life feels just right and as it should be, and I am awake and on my feet.
Another day given.”


Nothing can dull our senses to the goodness of God, if we consider that God gives us a new day. Until the Lord Jesus calls His bride up from this earth to be with Him, the saints of God will, even in giving their lives for others, enjoy the beauty of His presence which makes every day, bright, beautiful and a joy to live.


*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 

I loved the poem just as you have created it. Thank you.

*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"Another day given celebrates the Glorious God of Heaven and earth; the Maker of all things and the Lord of all things. The center of the work is a concentration on where our praise for the God Israel arise. We are His creation and it is He that puts us on our feet to run into the day with exuberant praise. Truly the words and images inspire the heart to hope in the Great I Am!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*


Please Visit


GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.15.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Talking Story  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings fyn , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Talking Story from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

March 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
I love history, mist-ory, myth-story, threads of time collapsing on a junior in high schooler, wondering if he would ever enjoy the pondering of Babylonians, Assyrians, Persians and Greeks. Oh..did I leave out the Egyptians and my dearest Hebrews, children of Abraham? I could map it, time line it and thanks to old movies and TV I could even imagine it. Two threads emerge, and I find those threads in my own nature, empire building and war. Whether its Babylon's rise to conquer everything or the cattlemen against the sheep farmers of the old west, who rules is determined by the peasant's blood.

After we attain such revelations about "tapestries," "destinies," "bloodlines," "patterns," and "our stories," what then. Aha! Teach the lessons, accumulate the lessons and never ever ever forget.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
It is paramount to learn history, even if, with time, it gets tangled into a nearly incomprehensible jumble of facts, non-facts, new facts, hard facts and soft facts. Then, when all seems absolutely misty clear, one may act out in a way that demonstrates history is our friend, because as our friends, friend history, we have a solid foundation of reason to have fund the most colossal arsenal on earth to protect our American treasure! Maybe I'll sleep well tonight. Hmmm. Maybe I won't.

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Talking Story is a unique free form poem written in four line stanzas. The rhyme in each verse is created by the repeating of the same word at the end of line 2 and 4. The meter begins with the first verse using 8 syllables in each line. This opens up in the following verses, with a wider selection of rhythm from line to line.

The words, images, tone and pace of the prose is appealing and it is easy to be caught up in both the theme and the music of the piece.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Mists swirl the myths of time
into threads new tapestries to weave.
Ancient bloodlines draw yet new tales
so it is and so we weave.”


I like that the first line of this verse flips around the words of the opening line of the poem to present a whole new vision of how the threads of history are woven out of myth, and the legacy of one generation left for the next. Also, the bloodiness of what was, somehow now has become a bloodline. As suddenly kings appear and individual nations are carved out of empires, what must be told to the populace to peacefully separate the royal from the common? And then poof! They too, nearly all, disappear.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I think this is perfect the way it has been written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Talking Story encourages the ponderer to ponder some more. What am I taking away from my history studies? Since search engines have become highways to instant libraries, I now know more about President Eisenhower's war record, and years as president than ever before. I am swept into every battle that was fought in the Boer wars and the Crimean. Have we learned then from these conflicts, the rise of one power over another and the fading away of a nation? I'll not make a politically biased comment here, I'll just say I'm an ancient warrior whose time of service has not ended and I'll be hyper vigilant tonight!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Take me away  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Starr , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Take me away from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

March 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

 We could be seeking the pastoral, uncomplicated regions of the country. Leave behind the stress, and mayhem of a shoulder to shoulder existence. The village life perhaps; where the nearest drama and chaos is twenty miles away. There is a land of "far...far...away!" There is a land where trees dance in the breeze. I call it Missouri, but any place on earth where the clog of humanity gets untangled might serve as a place to establish a homestead. A homestead where ponds abound with fish and fowl, forests protect birds and rabbits, squirrels and deer thrive. Some might say, "is the serene quiet worth the sacrifice of not living sandwiched between other living souls?" *Smirk2*

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
It is time to fly away to the open expanses of the undeveloped lands. There are plenty of those, though the city-bound-economically trapped souls of the urban colossus would lie and say that the amount of natural preserve is extremely limited (diminishing) - "not making anymore" - But the suspicious heart buckles up for the great exploration and jumps out beyond the big city lights to experience acre after acre of uncorrupted natural beauty. Will I answer the call of the open fields, mountains, woods and meadows? The Lord God who made it all definitely bids me come. Then its "Settle down my son. Settle in."
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Take me away is a free form poem written in 8 stanzas of various lengths. The lines too are in free form. The flow is graceful and the words blend sounds and rhythm in a meter that is easy to embrace. Words like: "breeze," "serenity," "peace," "soothe," and "gaze," brings the poem to a graceful, joyful conclusion.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I want to go where the whippoorwill calls

Feel all the mist cascading off the waterfalls

Feeling the grass underhand

Reacquainting myself with the land.”


I have had this joy. I abhorred the "sticks" as my city friends called it when I was growing up. My bedroom, only a few hundred feet from Everett's pond, was always filled with the sounds of croaking bull frogs, crickets, red-winged black birds and blue jays. When the cow was past milking or couldn't get untangled from the briar patch, she'd pierce the evening serenity with her bawling howls. Ironic that after twenty years working in Seattle I would crave it again. But I thank God, I knew the way back. I am restored to life again.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
This was the perfect treat for me today. I will revisit your words from time to time to remind myself what I have been blessed with now, and what price I paid to arrive here. Thank you.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Take me away puts some demands on the soul, the mind and spirit of mankind to consider the price one pays for living the "good life" in the big city compared to the restful, peaceful, serene possibilities of the transforming life of being wedded to nature and all that is naturally good. One cannot help taking to heart the admonition of the poet that proximity to what has been naturally created is a much greater benefit to one's life than the congestive, heart-stopping pace of the city.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
for entry "Introduction
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings amy-Has a great future ahead , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Your Positive Life: Being Aware from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

March 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

There is immense joy, love and positivity for those who find their minds, hearts and souls fully aware of the blessings other people can be in their lives. I agree with your premise that the power to engage with others with a strong, positive attitude is more important than a lot of people might think. There may be some soul searching necessary to see that it is needed in one's life. On the other side of that searching, if the conclusion is, "Yes. Yes, I could be a lot more aware of others around me." Then it is possible we may be able to bring about closeness in our relationships we never before thought possible. 

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Every person can benefit from becoming more aware of the people around them. The choice to be aware is encouraged in this essay. The means by which "being aware," will increase a positive mental attitude are outlined as giving one's self to "research," "subtly finding out," and "asking."
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Your Positive Life: Being Aware is an introductory essay in a larger work that addresses the need to be more aware of everyone around us, as a key to living a more positive life. The first paragraph challenges the reader to seek a change that could add a lot more positivity to their lives. The second and third paragraph propose that increasing one's ability to be aware of others around us is an exceptional way of being more positive. The closing paragraphs discuss the key elements to increasing one's awareness thus creating an elevated mindset towards a more positive way of life.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“After looking at my life I realized something. I may know the people in my life, but I was not aware of them. Being aware of someone is far different than just knowing them. Being aware means wanting to know the entire person. You may be thinking, “I know all the people I love as entire people”, but really think about that. Do you?”

Tough question really. A good question most definitely. As a marriage counselor and mentor to men, my response to this question is easy. No. No we don't. The deeper, more personal issue is that I had been married myself for nearly 12 years before realizing I had virtually no awareness of who my wife was.

Truly. One day the Lord impressed on me that I needed to become a "Jacquie Ologist." I wasn't sure what that was, but I got that it was critical. As I stepped out in faith and hope of something good, better than good, behold, a new marriage began to emerge.

I studied what made Jacquie laugh (saved our marriage), learned to cook her favorite foods, dedicated Friday nights out, just to work on flirting with her, experiencing looks of affection and feel the joy of togetherness for no other reason than just being together. Life changed. Our awareness quotient spiraled upward. It not only affected our marriage, it helped us to become more hospitable and inclusive of others. 47 years later we are living at a very high level of awareness. A priceless gift that counteracts occasional feelings of rejection, regrets and loneliness.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Thank you for your marvelous insights. You have certainly identified a super key to creating positive relationships. I would never had known how to articulate what you have discovered to be true in your own life. A beautifully crafted beginning to a book I hope you will continue to pursue.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Your Positive Life: Being Aware challenges the reader to find a more positive outlook to life by being aware of the people around us. The premise is excellent and a great beginning to a larger work. I look forward to reading more!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Bagv*HAPPY HAPPY GLORIOUS THURSDAY!!*Bagv*


Greetings Anna Marie Carlson , Happy Thursday! I was pleased to read  "Dreams of Being A Princess through the "Read and Review" application and delighted to give your writing a review. Thank you for being a delightful contributor to writing.com.

March 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

 "Happily ever afters," do come true, if we are able to dream. Is it every girl's dream to be a princess? I think it should be, so I will agree with you. It is indeed every girls dream. There should be a prince, and a castle and every kind of servant to meet the needs of her royal highness. Let those who fail to realize this incredible dream hold their peace. For some, for the incredibly blessed, this dream is not a fantasy, it is a most exquisite, delightful reality.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
A princess has been born! Well actually she was dubbed princess by the one who came to repair the television set. How one is elevated to princess is not really relevant, if the dream matches the proclamation. In every sense, some girls are just ready to be royalty, and it is up to the prince to wake up to the responsibility he has to be the love of his "one and only's" life!
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Dreams of Being A Princess is a tantalizing story with a bit of satirical warmth, told from the first person perspective of the main character. The entire story is dotted with icons to emphasize each image of the story. Once the girl's royalty is established, she takes on the joyous task of describing all that must be set in motion for the sake of her status as "princess."
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

" Let's see, what does it take to be a princess that everyone can look up to and admire? If you were fortunate enough to find a genie in a bottle, one of the wishes a girl 👧 could make is to be a princess. Living in a beautiful castle, she could wear fancy clothes, attend a masquerade ball, support a charity of her choice, or be anybody that she wanted to be.”

Once one is anointed princess, it is kind of her highness to consider other ways girls can become princesses. Her royalty has not blinded her to the care and concerns of her people. Yes, she wears elegant jewelry, gorgeous gowns while attending sumptuous parties, but all the while, she is extravagantly kind to the poor, being a charitable person supporting those of less regal standing. I love living in an age where such largess of the royal class has been well documented and lauded.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed this story just the way it was written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Dreams of Being A Princess reminds us that the call to be a princess may be a higher calling than we could ever imagine. I was reminded, though I needed little help, that I have been blessed to be married to a princess. I have been her prince for 47 years, and we are just getting started!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Tempered Hearts  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Inspirational Story of the Month *Horse*


Good Morning Maddie Spring in my Step Stone , I have enjoyed your writing and was pleased to read  "Tempered Hearts from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review. I think this is the most inspirational story I have read this month. I am glad you are making such a great contribution to WDC.

February 28, 2023



*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 

Welcome my friends to Willow Springs. A picture postcard from the early part of the last century could not have conveyed better the blissful charm of a time gone by than the eloquent description of my new favorite place at Christmas, Willow Springs. Despite the hostile winter environs, holiday cheer ushers a weary Melinda in to a welcoming world of charm, grace and comfort.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
Melinda, "Milly," is on a mission to meet with her Aunt Lena. On the way there are mysteries to be uncovered concerning life with her mother. And while Milly in every way is a practical, sensible woman, it seems life with its joys, sorrows and challenges, takes her by surprise more than she would care to admit.

 
*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"Tempered Hearts is a pleasant, warm and engaging tale written from the third person perspective of the main character, Melinda. The balance between narrative, scene setting, dialogue and action is nearly perfect. The tone of the story is lively and works well with the pace the author has set. Melinda's reflective moments are intriguing and her engagement with other characters in the story helps move the narrative along beautifully.
 
*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Melinda had just found her phone but didn’t bother waking it up. Instead, she slid it into the pocket where it was supposed to go. “I guess this isn’t like trying to check in at the big hotels in the city.”

“Goodness, no, dear,” the other woman said with a chuckle. “We’ve got a personal touch here. Now, let’s get you settled. I have some hot chicken soup on the stove, fresh baked bread just out of the oven, and mugs of cold apple cider.” She slipped around Melinda, got hold of her luggage, and headed towards the stairs. “Follow me, dear.” ”


Two of the dearest gifts in the sometimes chaotic world of humanity are "favor" and "hospitality." For Melinda, "favor" is shown in the immediate connection she has with Delilah, her hostess for the evening and for her stay at Delilah's Cozy Nook. "Hospitality" is conveyed by the warm, comfortable surroundings within the inn, and the supper that has been prepared for the visitors who may check in for the evening. For Melinda, she needs both, though she may be unaware of just how much she needs them. We all need favor and hospitality in this life, and I can easily identify with Melinda's deeper need. The need of her heart and the need of her soul.


*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 
The story is so well balanced in all of its elements I hesitate to make a suggestion. But there might be a spot or two in the narrative where you could incorporate one or two more "show moments."

I'm not sure it would improve the story a lot, but there are probably some reviewers who would like to see a bit more "showing."

This is one I picked out. See what you think.

"Even wrapped in her coat, scarf and gloves, the cold had her teeth on edge."

As Melinda opens the door of the vehicle she could shiver and pull her coat tight around her as her face is burned with the cold. When she steps out of the SUV her face could whiten with a bit of blue around the lips. She could be rubbing her hands together with teeth chattering.

Even as I am writing this, I can see how much this is out of character for Melinda. Her response to the cold would need to be more reserved, but I hope this sets in motion some thought about how to give the impressions of Melinda's dilemma with the cold and snow, instead of telling the reader about her reactions.


*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"Tempered Hearts is a story of Melinda's journey to find something of her past in a picture post card perfect world of warm hospitality and holiday cheer. The world she has entered is one at peace with the rest of the universe, but then there is still her mission ahead. Who is Aunt Lena really and how is she to make a difference in Melinda's life? I can hardly wait to find out!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*


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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.28.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings kingoffjer, Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Affection and obsession from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 25, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Some emotions rescue mankind from the lonely road, even for just a few moments. Affections for things, and family and friends, give me a solace from the void that is ever present in my soul. In time, without thought, or care, I may need more. Something to worship. Something to sacrifice too, and live for, even if the object's reality is far inferior to what I have made it. The idol gives me a light to fill the void that often brings me to depression. Once aligned with the demon, I am never released to go back to a simple affection.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
What causes mankind's aggression, when all they desired was to be loved, respected, and rewarded for their goodness? Could it arise when I no longer live in the light of a wisdom that keeps all of this world's wonders from becoming an obsession? Could it be that if I love trees I don't have to kill a logger? Ruin a town's economy because I adore the Spotted Owl?

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Affection and obsession is written in free form prose. Each of the four lines have a rhyming scheme were the last word of each line rhymes with the next. The tone and lyrical pace of the poem is graceful and well focused on the theme.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“So redirect aggression. Love’s not always a fight”

In conclusion, it seems it is probable that mankind, may, within its own power, have the self-control necessary to turn away from the obsessions that lead to violence and mayhem. Certainly the Law of God would proclaim this. What love we have in our war chest may be the only thing we have to share that will make a difference with another. The one hope for all people, except the warlords of course, is that the obsession for power would at last be obliterated.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed each word, image and the rhythm of your prose and would not have any edits or revisions to suggest.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Affection and obsession explores the transition from mere affection to full blown obsession. Within the verse are some wonderful notions to ponder and dream of. If my obsession is for there to be world peace at last, it may be up to me to put aside all of my aggressive nature to obtain the vision. My meditation today must be on the One who is the hope of all peace, joy and love.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.25.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Turtlegrove  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings William Stafford , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Turtlegrove from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
I do hope you complete the story. I was compelled to read the story because Turtlegrove Missouri, if it did exist, would probably be less than 100 miles from where I live in Southwestern Missouri. Coming from an urban west coast environment, small town everything is new and lovely, if not sometimes bewildering.

I imagine Turtlegrove is a snap shot of what I have experienced in most of the farm communities around my home, and the characters are just fine. I mean, just fine, as how gold and emeralds, are just fine.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
An emerging journalist, who is about to leave his teen years behind, gets his first big assignment. As the story progresses we discover the subject of young David's first article has a secret. Since she has advanced in age to the century mark, wouldn't this be the time to share her secret? Even though it might be too much for sublime Turtle Grove to handle? I'll, tell you, I wish I knew!
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Turtlegrove is written with an omniscient point of view and conveys the story in an easy, entertaining narrative. Each character of the story is brought to life in great detail, and the lack of urgency to create a firm foundation to the story is a welcome change from the frenetic beat of "modern"/ "Post Modern" fiction. Each word and image is a treat.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“She could easily enjoy an uneventful interview with a young and naive reporter. Or, she could give him the story of his life, possibly exposing herself to danger even at her old age and most certainly causing a media storm if the young reporter would decide to print what he learned. ”

As Martha Berm's character is introduced, the beauty of the melodic pace of the narrative is directly, and vividly leading the reader into a twist to our expectations. Descriptive words of how she takes on her day invites the reader a peek into her life as it is routinely lived. It seems to be just like the other folk in Turtle Grove, filled with purposeful repetitions from the day before, embedded habits, and sleepy community. But Martha is a woman who has nurtured a deep, dark, dangerous secret that none of the other townspeople know of. In this moment, as the real nature of the story opens up, I am a bit more than stunned at the incredible surprise Martha is, and will be to those who have known of her, all their lives.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Everything was beautifully written in my estimation. There will be a few readers who would insist on more "showing" than "telling" and less passive voice, but I think when the writing is strong, the words and images well chosen, those suggestions are pedaling devices that only enable lazy readers. The magic is in the words. You got 'er done! Well done.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Turtlegrove, a small town marvel in the middle of Missouri, has an up and coming reporter who may get the interview of a life time; and from a most unsuspected source. Hold on readers of the Turtlegrove Gazzette! Martha may be spilling her secrets, even if it costs her everything, even her life! How will this story end? Tune into your "Emerson manual dial radio" for the exciting reveal!  *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Benjamin Black , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Fly Free My Pretty Monkey from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Is gravity loosened just for the sake of monkeys, or are they just a figment of my imagination? Monkeys are not a solution to my inner pain, but aren't they the ones to gather the mirth, and riddles I need to keep the Haters away. The Haters try to confuse my notions of identity, and I bite on the hook they put before me thinking it is my life that has no value, no worth, no possibilities.

If I could just set the monkeys free. If they could just take wing like birds, surely my war against death could continue.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Where abuse lives without restraint, the victim dies a thousand times. Why does the imagination then press on to form its own declaration about what has killed the soul it must live with? Maybe there is never enough death to stop the drinking in of both the poison and the cure.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Fly Free My Pretty Monkey is a poem with an interesting structure where two lines are coupled and a third, punctuates the images with a free form line until the four lined fourth verse where the first three lines rhyme and the last line rhymes with the last line of the third.

I wrote all that to say that I found the structure liberating as the words and images convey the notions of being bound to the ruling class haters of the world, while wanting freedom to fly no matter what the cost. The structure helps the various tones resonate well with both the darker images of "bullet deep," "throat like sand," and "kill to feel," and the lighter images of "free like birds," "monkeys fly," and a "wind alibi."

 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“To soar so high above the sky
With wind your only alibi ”


I had to search my heart to know if I had actually experienced this couplet. I think most certainly in a real sense I have. It was on a Freedom Bird, lifting out of Ben Hoa Vietnam, June 19th 1969; I made it out of the war alive after 18 months. If there was an alibi involved it would have been blowing out of the 4 jet engines of a Boeing 707.

As a metaphor, it would be the day I discovered my best girl had another man. I loved her for taking on more than I could handle; I never felt so liberated, as the gray lines of the sky blew winds up Bennet Valley Road against my back. How often do you just get to walk away with no regrets?

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed the words and images of your poem. I think it was perfect just the way it was written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Fly Free My Pretty Monkey provokes the soul to examine what happens when seemingly life hates you. Certainly life has some cohorts to make the conflict have some tactile meaning, but how can I separate what death has put on me from the only escape path I am allowed. For a moment I thought the path was a bullet, or just the dehydrating of my heart. Then the monkey's take to the sky and it all becomes crystal clear. I am free at last!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Spiritual Dawning , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Alone In The Fields from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Lyrical words, like an old tune from the '50s takes me to the rolling hills of manzanita and sage, where my soul could be opened up and revealed to the birds above me or the lizard lazing on hot rocks. Green eyed boy, I was a wallop to nature's back side back then, but cutting away from my studies at the end of spring, '66, I struck a bargain between nature and myself. I would move away one day, and the farmlands would never let me forget.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The place a poet belongs is found in the fields outside a village, with a bit of breeze and a friendly sun. The church brings the song as its bells ring, and birds are about the fields and peace reigns.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Alone In The Fields is a poem written in couplets with a nice easy rhythm and rhyme.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“It is here that I dwell, here that I rest
Alone in the country, oh my it's the best.”


How many years I fought the notion of the under developed lands that were my home. Those who would have been my peers fled to the cities. The ones who remained frowning sullen and weary with the toil of work and family. After years in the towers of the financial hubs of the world, in the clammer and grind of earning more wealth than should be legally allowed, the bells of my serene village now soothe away the grit of climbing the corporate ladders. Today, though the northland breathes out icy winds against my body, I will embrace the fields and woodlands once more.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word of your poem. I believe it is complete in every way.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Alone In The Fields is an ode to what was once mine, and then given up. Too little appreciation for what God creates, led me to a non-life. My return is celebrated in the words and music of this sweet work of prose. Thanks for a little more rest in my day.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Unlabeled  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Smartie , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Unlabeled from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 23, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
A step back to an uncertain time, I meet myself on the road to finding love, but held up all along the way by how interactions, love actions, hostile actions were labeled. In the wandering, interminable waiting for clarity, there is always this part of me that wanted something more. She couldn't define it without showing more of her vulnerability. I couldn't express the turmoil inside when I saw her, or missed her, or almost forgot about her in the work of staying alive.

Above us, each night, hung the question, "are we alright?" I think I said something reassuring, she gave me a gift. It's been 47 years now. We are one.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Will friendship remain through all of the heartache relationships can experience? Can we be back to normal? There always seems to be a price to pay to be in relationships and one of those prices is not knowing moment by moment if there is a normal, and are we in that beautiful zone, or are we somewhere else.

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Unlabeled is written in free form prose with short glimpses of wonder and speculation. The imagery is conceived through thoughts and imaginings that remain ethereal except for the solid image of "gifts" and "talking"
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I wish you could tell me
As I am getting dizzy
Going back and forth
Not knowing”


The label that wants to be put on the relationship seems to be revealed. I've only been dizzy for one other person in my life and it was because of the passion that would rise and fall in our relationship. At a point where I thought all was lost, five years into our marriage, I stood in the middle of a street, nearly out of my mind with dizzy. I knew in my heart she was gone, but then we had been so close to this moment before. I couldn't go home for not knowing. Yet, I had to know. That moment has gone unlabeled for many, many years, until now.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word. Thank you!


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Unlabeled poetically inspires a memory of how lost one can be when a relationship refuses to be defined. Even when the cultural, societal, laws and boundaries are applied to define what is normal, the emotional reality within a relationship is that all of that stuff doesn't matter. Only an open heart can cry out to another for love, and normalcy. Will all human effort close the distance between two friends? How desperate the soul can be in the unlabeled moments of love. Beautiful.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.23.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Church Clothes  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Burning Thoughts , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Church Clothes from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 18, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
The line between growing up and being a child also seems to blur the boundaries of morality and decorum that mother and child have lived with for at least 13 years. Mother is always right, every other opinion must submit to her wisdom and understanding of life in the real world. The tone of the story is satirical in a way, hoping to convince the reader that not every battle can be fixed by modern science and technology. But can't it? If we could only get culture to push through our child's earbuds the right ideals and behavior patterns, wouldn't that help the modern parent be the hero of the pre-teen world? How did we let the lawless get in control of art, entertainment, education and culture?

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The anxiety of the child and parent as they begin to divide between what is acceptable clothing to wear at church, probes into the area of what distinguishes "good" behavior from unacceptable behavior. The story's plot is a common one, and is played out in American culture every day, with the age at which childish demands on parental authority may be asserted earlier and earlier with a greater amount of support from the authorities in school and government.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Church Clothes is written from the point of view of Claire, 13 year old daughter to Emily Dorsey. There is a good balance between narrative, dialogue and action.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Claire covered her ears. Until today, she always gave in. It was easier than fighting, but now she wanted something she would fight for. And it occurred to her that seeing Federico was one thing, but this was even bigger than that. She wanted to decide for herself. ”

This is tough stuff. In the battle between child and parent there is always a defining moment. Some parents are not inclined to push their children into a place of having no choice, and some regard this as a liberal parenting technique that spoils the societal landscape. I remember the day the Pastor's kid in 1958 showed up to church in tennis shoes. It was considered a disgrace and the pastor was immediately branded a liberal for not taking his boy to task. The pastor retired from the civil service in 1992. The furor around his removal from the pulpit was enough for my parents to apply draconian methods to parenting me all the way through high school. It was easier to apply draconian methods back then, because we were poor, the friends I had were poor, and the ability to survive without a stable homelife was almost impossible.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed your characters and their principals. The tone of the story works well with the subject and plot. There was just one spot I saw that needed an edit.

In the line: Claire typically her mother's anger like gravity--something that just had to be endured. I am not sure what is meant exactly, but perhaps this phrasing would make the meaning of the sentence clearer:

Claire's mother's anger was typically like gravity--something that just had to be endured."

If you decide to do a rewrite on the piece I would suggest making the conversations between Emily and Claire, a little less formal. This would especially be helpful as the emotions start to heat up. For instance in this exchange:

"Don't be flip? Insolent girl!" Her mother raised her arm.

Claire jumped back, dropping the donation bag. She scampered up a few stair steps.

"There's nothing wrong with shorts at church despite what you say."

"Don't you dare question me! I have nothing but the best intentions for you."


Might sound a bit more natural if written:


"Don't be flip!" Emily raised her arm.

Claire jumped back, dropping the donation bag. She scampered up a few stair steps.

"There's nothing wrong with shorts!"

"Don't you dare question me, I'm your mother!"

(my mom used to say this all the time...of course she had four boys.)



*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Church Clothes is a tale of a mother and daughter entering into a conflict of wills as happens when teenaged fashion sense, steps across the line of a previous generation's sense of decorum and morality. Great story with a great counter balance between the two views of life and what motivates each character's beliefs.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


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#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313) (02.18.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Smartie , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Depiction of Guiding Spirit from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 18, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
With extremely strong images, a picture of the spirit world all around us is brought into a clearer, more focused view. There are sights and sounds that stir up images from my own wonder years, hoping to find something significant in every breeze getting through my makeshift tree fort, always disturbing the carbon copies of drawings I wanted to recreate. Then, a disease hits and then there are the moments when movement was impossible and recovery was spent watching mom's soap operas and game shows.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The poem takes on the thoughts that have a random pattern sometimes, but then suddenly make a picture of how it was to be in a moment of time. It is almost like awakening in the arms of a guiding spirit. Some angelic in nature, some positively not.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Depiction of Guiding Spirit is written in a prose form keeping the rhythm and tone open to any image that may find its place in the stream of writing, be they thoughts, memories or multiple time points.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“The splintered fence boards, bent and twisted

the product of childhood rough-housing

A game of charades with post-nap movement

The building blocks played with by a child

stacked and rearranged, new blueprints every hour”


When visiting actual places in time where remain scars, and deformities, there is probably a reason for being there. After all there are always reasons why we acted out as a child, despite the hurts and pains that became monuments to childlike folly. As words connect with a now moment, sitting at my computer, pounding out the legacy of three quarters of a century on earth, all I have left to do is smile, and enjoy what was done unhindered by the giants in the spirit that opposed my growth, my assimilation of knowledge, and my search for love.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word. There is great space in the images to see my own life. Thank You. A rare treat.




*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Depiction of Guiding Spirit is a rare ballad that gives my soul license to imagine something the artist may have never intended. It invites a revisit where what I saw in this hour, may be completely different years from now. Beautifully done!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313) (02.18.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Redland's Revenge  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon*Boat2*



Hello Moonstone ,  I am so glad that you are a committed contributor to Writing.com’s wonderful community! Thank you for your informal request for a review. I was pleased to read  "Redland's Revenge from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.

February 9, 2023


*Books1*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
One is not often given the opportunity to visit the grim reality of the educational world of an all boys school. But when one can make the journey, at least in a vivid tale with extraordinary characters, one should get into it.

Remember the institution called middle school? The place where teacher's rule and administrators execute justice. Where the students had, what one might called, a secondary kingdom all their own? I remember that there were times of great power struggles, and then, of course, the pain of capitulation and submission. And I remember too, the over arching equalizer for both kingdoms: "what grades did we, as students, actually earn?"

If a teacher can't teach and a student can't learn, the school is just a "care giving institution" so that parents can have freedom to do what they do!

Ahhh, so the story goes, and Welcome to Redland Academy's seventh grade science class, where boys will be boys; and where science hardly ever has a place in the day to day transformation of those boys, into men.
 
*Books2*  HEART INSPIRED
 
For Robin, the task of learning seventh grade science has taken a bad turn. Through some outrageous events, Robin's mother sets in motion a revolution. And as mother's go with their somewhat demanding ways, she could easily raise her palms up and outward and claim, "no responsibility here boys!" But wasn't she the one that got the tutor, which led to study groups, which led to Noah's science notebook being destroyed, and...well, it goes on with great and glorious energy.

The story becomes an inspirational tale of how one event can lead to others, and others, and ultimately helps build a man out of a boy with enough fortitude to shake up the establishment.
 
*Books3*  SPECIAL ELEMENTS
 
The dialogue is strong and true. The action of the story, recounted from a first person narrative, suits the world of the story's pre-teen boys. The interaction between the teacher and the boys is spot on, and the depiction of how hungry the boys become to learn science and get good grades in their tests was elevating and hopeful.
 
*Bookopen**Bookopen*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
These were a few of my favorite sentences:

“I began, 'Well, Mr. Parriott was talking about something--"

'What was he talking about?' My mother interrupted.

'Girls.' I cringed at the word. Since starting a boys' school, I have rarely hung out or even been around girls other than my mother.

'Girls? Why?' Her voice was curious, but also worried.

'I dunno. He does that sometimes,' I looked out of the window. 'Are the boys playing soccer?'"


I had dozens of these kinds of conversations with my mother when I was about Robin's age. I don't remember any of them, but this mother-son moment is the essence of what I remember. Subjects I remember? Girls, girls, girls, girls, etc. As I recall, my mom was opposed.

I love Robin's forthright words with his mother. I can't recall ever being quite that honest. And in every way it is endearing and shows his trust in her. He gives his mother the opportunity to know what he knows, despite the possibility she will take the side of his teacher.
 
 
*Bookstack3*  SUGGESTIONS *Bookstack3*
 
There was just one line that seemed a bit awkward to me, and believe me it might just be me. This was the line:

"He wasn't that much older than me, with long black hair and was wearing a Redland T-shirt.

I think it would read a bit smoother if it was two sentences. He wasn't that much older than me, with long black hair. He was wearing a Redland T-shirt. This would also add emphasis that Matthew is or once was a Redland Academy student.

Checking the sentence in my grammar checker, if you decide to keep the sentence as is, it should have a comma between the words "hair" and "and."

*Horse*  IN SUMMARY*Horse*
 
"Redland's Revenge is a wonderful story of how relationships, and the right motivations can give our young people the education that will serve them well as they grow up. What every society needs is that edgy blend of a distaste for tyranny that keeps the soul in bondage and complete respect for those who have our best interests in their hearts. Well done!*Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*

 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Sparky , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Ssspths...Done...JUST PERFECT! Mmm! from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Not only am I reverential when it comes to the subject mater of your article, I have gained support for my belief that one can be religious without a spiritual experience, but can't be spiritual without the support of highly codified religious rites. There. A nod to the liturgy of all great makers of the good stuff of life.

I'm searching for a source for vegemite right now. (*note: Article link did not take me to the correct website. Walmart appears to carry it in America)


*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The focus of the article is on turning a good cut of meat into a sumptuous main course that sizzles, smokes and invokes a rapture of the soul. It strikes home with some excellent advice and clear concise instruction on how to best cook up a steak. (My interest in the subject is highly elevated because at $22 a pound American, perfection in the cooking process had better be attained!)
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Ssspths...Done...JUST PERFECT! Mmm! is recipe for cooking steak the proper way. It is written from a first person perspective with immediate assurance that everything about the process of cooking the best main entre' ever will be covered. The good news is that it did!

Written with a great deal of humor and some explicit advice about how to avoid injury, or losing your steak, or mis-seasoning your steak, the piece is an excellent blend of insight, foresight and instruction.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite instruction:

“Dribble some olive or canola oil* (Edit August 2017 *I no longer recommend Canola oil. Do NOT use it at all for anything) on the hotplate. After it's sizzling, wipe the plate off with paper towel. Then re oil but not too much. Spread around the oil until its all over the place, and plate. Make sure your dog doesn't jump up on the barbecue and nick off with the steak.”

Using the right oil in the BBQ process is essential. Old ways must give way to the new and improved. I use a bit of Avocado Oil myself. As far as the dog? Animals have their use in life and the best use of course, is being seared to perfection on the grill...all others have no place around the preparation of the meal, or in my case, my neighborhood.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Perfectly executed and entertaining. I think I got all of the nuances in your article, just one question: what is "laughing gear." I don't want to be improperly attired as I launch my next "steakathon."


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Ssspths...Done...JUST PERFECT! Mmm! not only gives the reader the full roadmap to a perfect steak experience, but also gives some sage advice on how best to enjoy the whole spiritual journey at a higher plane. Prepare to be sizzled!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Greetings Natsby , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 9, 2023



*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Single words trigger a solemn journey through a hurting soul. The prose is filled with the tension of a person whose life never met expectations, and yet still contains some of the promises that may yet be fulfilled. "Is it a woman?" you may ask. "Isn't it always," says the patron to the bar tender, who just laughs.

In my case I'll just call her J. There was never a resting place where I could be safe in my pity. Beautiful? Yes. But no tolerance for too much "me time," to reflect on "could I have done better?" When I brought her into the family my mother laughed hysterically. She knew her mission to "fix me" was in capable hands.


*Coffeer*  THEME
 
But wait! Maybe its not a woman. Maybe its time. Time too has a way of playing with our ego, mocking the wicked loves of our past, the long record of losses, and defeats, and chaos. It all disturbs my peace. The theme of the poem is actually a delight to play with, because if I am able to write out my soul's deepest regrets about past relationships, I, through my Savior, can begin to have a map that shows the exit of all my past longings experienced in a hopeless, tragic life.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED is written in free verse, with introspection as its driving rhythm. There are heart beats occasionally followed by rumblings from the soul. The tone is heavy, reflective and mysterious.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Good and evil are my family, constantly fighting to define me, they move around, never can they quite settle down. And always there is that one that I must let down.

These acquaintances always come to find me, sometimes I invite them, saying, "please, join my pity party".


Before there can be "the one," there has to be a family called: "good and evil." They will come to find me in my sweet misery. Weren't they the ones that warned me against bad friends, bad women, bad, bad, bad, but did they ever really know what was good??? besides themselves?


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Every part of the poem reads very well and is clearly written. I do not have any recommendations for improving the piece.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED speaks partially of "Good and Evil" as my family, constantly fighting to define me, moving around, never quite settling down. And always, there is that one that I must let down. But the poem calls me to a reflection of what I wasn't, as a friend, a child, a love, and a person of faith.

In the end, memories, regrets, ego, cunning, and irony help me to be prepared for the beautiful beast who will prepare me for the great bye and bye. Oh so lovely, sweet and mystifying!   *Smile*

 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
*MugR*
 

Please Visit


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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