You have written your opinion about life quite well. Your spelling, grammar and punctuation are perfect.
And your opinions are just that, your opinions.
Where I would disagree is that life should have a purpose.
Most baby boomers were blessed to take tests throughout school, not only about where we stood with our academic achievements, but also about our interests and passions. We were also blessed with having guidance counselors who helped direct our choices of subjects to take in high school, as well as what career choices we should make and what colleges might meet our needs. We were shown what scholarships were available and how to apply for them. My sister got a 4 year scholarship. She and our parents had to contribute $800 each to her education. Everything else was completely paid.
The times in my life when I was the least happy were the times when I was not following my passions and not trying to fulfill my purpose.
I love it when writers ponder about being a writer.
A few suggestions:
#1
There were a few places where you used capital letters where they were not required.
#2
It would be helpful to have spaces between paragraphs.
#3
You wrote:
A quote by Charles Bukowski.
"If it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it"
I would suggest:
Charles Bukowski said,
"If it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it." (Don't forget the period.)
#4 You wrote:
My thoughts to the words of this sentence was "wow how pretentious to write such a thing", but as I mused my thoughts upon the words of Charles Bukowski, and by putting them into a perspective of gauging the writing and creativity of others: I saw, heard, and understood (for the first time) the voice of this wonderful writer from this single sentence.
I might suggest:
My thoughts in reaction to that quote were, "Wow! How pretentious to write such a thing." But as I put the words into a perspective of gauging the writing and creativity of others, I saw, heard, and understood (for the first time) the voice of this wonderful writer from this single sentence.
I found this on the Recent Reviews page and I'm glad that I did. I needed to read a lighthearted poem about an adorable fur baby.
I used to have a wonderful smart cat of my own. Our Maine Coon Cat used to insist on following me into the restroom, but then wanted out. She learned to hang on the doorknob to turn it and get out.
Your character handled this situation so well. My son just turned 40, but he clearly remembers how frightened he was when he thought that he had lost his dad in the grocery store at age 4. It's actually probably one of his first memories.
This definitely made me laugh. I get watching clouds. I certainly understand procrastinating when it comes to yardwork. Watching clouds has always been a fun adventure.
As for hammocks? I avoid them for this very reason.
Now that's funny. I'm not sure, though, that anything is cleverly hidden in an empty Swiffer Wet refill box. Those things smell like Swiffer refills forever.
I congratulate you for being able to tell the story in so few words. That is not one of my gifts.
Wow. As usual, you created a flawless story. As I have often said, I admire people who can tell an entire story with few words. I am usually too verbose.
Of course, as was obviously your intention, my mind is wondering what in the world was said and done in that 3 hours.
What an interesting form of poetry. I remember trying my hand at that back in my early days here at WDC. I entered every contest that I could find so that I could win points to pay for memberships. For some reason, I cannot find some of those attempts at various poetic forms.
That's a beautiful story, one that brings to mind a few people who I would not be surprised to learn had made prior arrangements to make mourners laugh at their funerals. One aunt told us that we all had to wear red at her funeral, not black. Someone else I knew insisted that the CD she created babe played as background music at the viewing. But part of the CD was not music at all.
My mom died 10 years ago. Grandma died in 1980. I still find myself repeating their words, some of them quite weird.
This was quite hilarious. I've seen many kinds of animals get stuck in food or drink containers, but never a rat.
This could use some editing to fix spacing and punctuation.
Here, for instance:
"Oh,it's no use,I can't believe I'm actually stuck," said the young rat,who called out for help but received no reply and realised that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Anyone who has ever worked for a diva has to understand. I wonder why we never hear about men abusing employees thos way. (Yes, they do have other ways.)
So her mouth was on fire. What in the world did Sarah put in that Devil's Food Cake?
Hi, Keaton. The first poem of yours was so dark that I sought out another. I discovered that it was just as dark, even though many years had passed between the two. My curiosity was piqued, so I decided to read your biographical words. Now I understand.
I do hope that creating a new life for yourself, with a wife and kids has helped you move at least a little bit out of the darkness.
Purple Princess, you crafted a good poem about a tragedy that often happens. When two people in live lose their child, they also often lose that love that they had. It's so sad.
This first part tells the story well.
He didn't say why
he left that day.
I didn't ask,
I had nothing to say.
You wrote beautifully of the world that our founders created and the world that existed for many years afterward. I wish that it still existed.
I know at least in my experience, people would tell the stories of how their ancestors came here and how proud they were to become Americans. Today, it seems more and more that people who come here have no desire whatsoever to be Americans.
Your poem, though, reminds me of what used to be. I thank you for that.
Lynn, you made an excellent defense of your opinion that Beatles recordings should not be remixed. Frankly, I agree with you. I would go farther, though, and say that no music that has already been released, played on the radio, even recieved awards for the way it was presented should be remixed.
I love that you told a story about how in the midst of so much heartache, your character was able to pull through. That you shared this passage in the Bible was excellent too:
Deuteronomy 31:6. “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
This is beautiful. I love the way that you highlight the many things that the Bible tells us that we will have in Heaven, while explaining that those glorious things are not part of your longing.
Ending with the things that are part of your longing is good too - peace and relief from miseries, rest for your soul, and love from the LORD. Who could argue with that?
Reading this reminded me about how much I miss living in Florida. Except for the alligators.
It's interesting to read a story written from the perspective of the alligator. I've seen them in captivity, in the zoo and at Gatorland. And I have seen them where they should not have been. One of my bosses had a gator that showed up every day around the same time and took a dip in his pool, then sun bathed for about an hour. Frankly, it never crossed my mind to wonder what he thought.
I discovered this on the Recent Reviews page and I am glad that I did. I admire people who can write a complete story in so few words.
I was confused about your use of the word "lent". As I understand it, the past tense of lean is leaned (pronounced leend) or leant (pronounced lent). Most people use "leaned".
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