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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/legerdemain
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1,513 Public Reviews Given
1,758 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Wherever I Go  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel🌊🌿🌞

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

What an awesome adventure! I really liked how you connected all the characters with one another and Lettie from the past. The cave descriptions were fantastic.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Ouija feels cliche, perhaps wishing on another object related to the Z'algath.
*Bullet* The winks felt off, the twitch of a frown or flare of nostrils. Z'algath seems too serious to wink.

Overall, great story, glad they all escaped!

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello brom21

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

An interesting story, Sanderson was very brave. Next time I see a wisp of smoke in the sky, I'll think of it as worship incense.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* a sapphire is blue - maybe a garnet?
*Bullet*"They fled the cite and careened left and right" - " the entire cite caving in on itself" ~ city or site
*Bullet* Interesting that a being with wings still uses transportation *Bigsmile*

Overall, a good story with nice descriptions.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review of Unbeknownst To Us  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello PrincessThai

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

What a great scene! It was definitely out of this world type stuff. I can see these three characters/friends exploring this world.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* "Bates and Gus at the same time" ~ shouldn't Bates and Greg say this?
*Bullet* This needed an ending to be a complete story, but it's an awesome beginning.

Overall, so far so good, keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of Solomon's garden  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

An interesting take on the prompt. While the beginning felt informational, some of it was relevant to the ending. Apparently Solomon not only managed to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines, but had time to command angels and create a garden like Eden. While reading, one knew somehow that would go badly for him.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Why toss Higson back?
*Bullet* I liked how Rachel delivered the historical narrative.

Overall, a fascinating read. Well done.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello PureSciFiPlus

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Great story! This felt like the beginning chapter of a great adventure. We still didn't get an answer, and I was hoping the giants would come alive.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"I know how most people think of me" ~ Suggest: I know what most people think of me
*Bullet*"illustration that I got left at my museum a few weeks ago" ~ Suggest: illustration that was left at my museum a few weeks ago
*Bullet*"Archeology Helper" ~ Are these guides or from the kid's club?
*Bullet* I felt the timeline of the story wasn't really clear as far as Sarah was concerned. Was this a flashback of when she was at the site with her parents or a future visit after she was found?

Overall, a base for a fun story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of For S.G.  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello MoonChilde

This was a lovely tribute. I'm sure it is nice to look back and see, in retrospect, all that someone has done for you. It reminds me to be grateful for all those who have helped me.

We should tell them, if we're able.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Minor - Line breaks between paragraphs for an easier read.

Overall, a beautiful reminder.


Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of Straggler  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden

This makes me think of that last leaf! The one that clings all winter and you admire it for its tenacity.
The somber tone of mortality in this makes one reflect. Should we ever let go?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*One line gave me pause: "So thin am I become," ~ Perhaps - I have?

Overall, I felt this deeply, thank you for posting.

Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
Review of Pink Button  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey who made that cool button? *Laugh*

It looks great in your portfolio. If you want to make it clickable to your portfolio, edit and put 100 in the "Link to Item" field in Image Settings. If you want it to send them to an item, put the item # there!

Regards,
Kim
9
9
Review of The Final Journal  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed the imagery in your story and was happy the eighty seven year old grandfather was found alive. What are the chances? Nice work weaving your story in the lush building surrounded by rough terrain.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

You followed the prompt and your timeline carried the story well. Nice work with your dialog.

Overall, a good story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of The Verdant  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello WriterRick

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

What beautiful descriptions are in this story and your character, Elara is a very determined person. You followed the picture prompt.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Your story was pasted twice in the item.
*Bullet*Some dialog with the others that passed through the portal would have been intriguing.

Overall, your story seemed like just the beginning of a wonderful place for talented peoples.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review of The lost city  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Sumojo

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked the world you described and you did well describing the sorrow Aria and Kai felt. GCS felt probable and helped the placement of the story. I would certainly like my brain to be a bit reinforced, lol.

The prompt was followed.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* How did the plants live if it was "sand and dust" and the air was unsustainable to life?

Overall, an enjoyable story to read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Anna Marie Carlson

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
This was a very interesting story. Making the desk anthropomorphic was a fun twist to the prompt. You gave the characters very interesting names.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Melody was more than py to arrange a meeting - "happy"
*Bullet*I would have liked to see more dialog - maybe after the word count limit for the contest.

Overall, an interesting read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review of Let It Grow  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel🌊🌿🌞

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This was a lovely story that followed the prompt well and I very much enjoyed the descriptions and dialog. You did a good job with the characters and emotions shown in the story. I believe Fiona and Joseph will be together after the story ends. What a sweet and noble gesture!

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a great read and entry.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review of The Library  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jtpete 1986

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked this story for a lot of reasons. You did a nice job of clarifying what your merfolk were like and its hierarchy. Your dialog was enjoyable and carried the story well. You included the prompt in an interesting way. The whale helpers were an awesome idea.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a fascinating story I'd like to read more.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review of Long After Humans  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello AmyJo- back to basics again!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Your descriptions of the prompt were done well. Nature certainly recaptures what humans try to build. This item felt more like a short essay than a story. I would have liked to see some characters and dialog.
This could be a good beginning for a story you could build. I'd suggest saving it for a nice scene in a future story.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a nice description of the prompt picture.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Averren

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This was well written. I enjoyed your characters and the battle with the beast. So clever and stabby :) I've never read the story these characters were from but they seemed well formed.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Heart* New word for me: outlawry
*Bullet*The work didn't contain all the components of a story, which you indicated at the beginning. I hope after the contest you can join the complete works.

Overall, a cool prequel.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review of Sophia's Library  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, you did a good job of incorporating the prompt picture and weaving your story around it. Sophia and John were well rounded characters and I loved how the books had a new purpose.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Where did the slaves come from?
*Bullet*I'm not sure the quick jump to passion was necessary.

Overall, I liked the new rebuilt world and story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Joseph

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked your story, it was very adventurous. The prompt was included and had some good descriptions. While you ran out of word count, I'd like to see some dialog in the story when the contest is over. Only the bird spoke?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"their 3rd day they awoke" ~ third
*Bullet*Work on more show than tell.

Overall, a great start to your adventure. Watch out for those Wolf-creatures!
Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
The Deathbringers is a cool idea. I enjoyed your images of them and how they destroy others. You showed the prompt in your story and I liked the squeamy way people were liquified.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Is Jeehon a place or a people?
*Bullet*"still stiff frozen body" ~ stiff/frozen is redundant
*Bullet*"Reading Material" ~ no caps
*Bullet*"her latest victim" ~ Surranon is male, yes? Gender seems interchanged in the story.
*Bullet*"“I agree that Young Ones shouldn’t be victims, but I don’t about them know about us and what we do." ~ Confusing sentence
*Bullet*Was the point of the story - the conflict of whether to leave?

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kotaro

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, the story Watanabe told, and the scene in the bar. You did a good job integrating the image prompt within. Too bad the pizza burned! There were a lot of wonderful nuggets in this story, like the part where the girl poured the fountain water in the hole. Very interesting.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*played-back ~ no hyphen
*Bullet*What was the girl's name?

Overall, a likeable story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review of The Sanctuary  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Massive Friendly Derg

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This felt like a summary of something more to write. You described the prompt image and suggested an idea but I wished to see something more fleshed out in a short story. You have the scene, now you just need characters and something happening.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Write a story about what you see there.

Overall, it's a start.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Geoffrey Williams

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
Bringing the library to anthropomorphic life was a great idea. I liked how the building itself could be rearranged to suit the readers. I felt sadness when people stopped coming to the library. You did well showing the prompt picture in the story. As always, I like a story that ends with hope. I liked the meanings of the flowers.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The last explorer, what was his name?

Overall, a lovely read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
This was an enjoyable adventure and I could relate to Aurelius not wanting to give up the library. Your characters were well formed and I liked how you sent three on the adventure instead of Aurelius alone. You described the prompt well, almost too well. Your description was very lush but felt like it slowed the story a little. I would rather have seen more dialog.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"ambitions were leading them to.


Overall, a great story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Graham B.

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
I enjoyed this story. From the beginning of Gerhard's adventure to his return, the surroundings and characters were very interesting. One of my favorites - "the feathers in his hat waving like a grotesque hand" The image gave me a chuckle. I liked how the library spoke so wisely.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*I felt like you brushed over Gerhard's decision to leave the library unfound to others. Perhaps due to word count.

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This looks like it will be a very handy tool, especially for busy people who rarely have time to respond to reviews.
I can see this being a useful setting if the item to be reviewed is being checked by a large group. Or if it is an item which doesn't need edit, like a photo, but the portfolio owner still wants to show gratitude for the portfolio visit.

Cool stuff! I know I have a few things I will use the Review Response on.
Leger~
Just do it!
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