*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mikewrites
Review Requests: ON
163 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Review of Even Prompter  
for entry "Pain Decides
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I just wanted to share some thoughts about this poem. Considering the topic, your poem was pretty pleasing to the ear. I liked how the alternating rhyme scheme carried the poem along, even as you described how pain limited you and how you deal with a changing reality. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
for entry "Week 17 Tri Fall Poem
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! I just wanted to share a few thoughts. First of all, I think you did a very good job with this nontraditional form; the syllable counts are quite unusual. Moving on to the text itself, I very much appreciate the sprinkled Scripture references, and giving Him the glory for every blessing is definitely how His children should be. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, there! Just dropping by with a couple of thoughts. Considering the ending, "Dark" is certainly an appropriate title for your poem. Your work offers an unusual point of view - from beyond the grave, apparently! I like the Spanish quintain formula you used, too; it has a nice rhyme scheme. Thanks for sharing this with us, and keep up the good poetry work!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Christain Quotes Rocks Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello! I'd like to offer a few thoughts about your poem. To me, it seems that you're making the point that we all end up in the same place, no matter what choices we've made and no matter how different they are to anyone else's. That place, seemingly, is the grave ["...dust to dust..."]. It certainly appears to fit as, no matter how aware we are of the consequences of the choices we've made, we cannot know what would have happened had we chosen differently. Likewise, we can never know the totality of our impact on those closest to us, to say nothing of society in general.

You put together a very thought-provoking poem. Thanks for sharing it.


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of I'm Still Here  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! This is the 3rd review from your For the Better Good AUCTION prize package. This story caught my eye via the cover photo, and the text kept my interest. I still can't decide if the story's being told from a chess piece's POV—the king, based on the photo and 'fawning'—regarding a winning chess strategy, or if that's all just an analogy. Don't think there's necessarily a problem with your story, though. Just because you meant one thing doesn't mean a different interpretation isn't possible. Regardless, I liked how the narrator linked the various bits of history between the old man and his grandson, and how the narrator feared he may soon be unmasked.

Thank you for sharing this story with us, and keep writing!


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! This is the 2nd review from your For the Better Good AUCTION prize package. This story may not have been written during Halloween season, but it's certainly spooky enough to fit right in! I really like how you set the scene: a riverfront property below a structurally questionable dam, pending storms, and a warning. The disappearing old man also segued nicely into the newspaper article and the stories heard around town. I thought the dialogue was appropriate to each scene, and the scenes followed each other in the proper order.

I'm not a grammar expert, but I do have five suggestions for improvement, the first four of which kind of took me out of the story a little: 1) insert a space between 'that' and 'my' in "...dam was decaying and thatmy family..."; 2) remove the second 'out' in the sentence about the newspaper clipping; 3) it should be 'DEVASTATED' vs 'DEVESTATED'; 4) there are a couple of dialogue bits where the question mark is outside the quotation marks, rather than inside (an oversight, I'm sure, as the rest of them are where they belong); and 5) I would change 'build' to 'built' in the first paragraph about the '41 flood (everything else is in the past tense, so it just seems to fit better).

Like I said, they're just suggestions, but I think they'd spruce up a story destined for greater things. *Wink* Thanks for sharing this with us, and keep writing!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of The 10:10 Cipher  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! This is the 1st review from your For the Better Good AUCTION prize package. I enjoyed reading this story, especially your unique choice of narrator. I can't help but wonder if it was inspired by the Royal Mail Great Train Robbery of 1963 with, perhaps, a substitution of the gold coins from the robbery of a Union Pacific train in 1877. Whatever the inspiration may have been, I really like the feeling of historicity I get from reading it. I also wonder if the grandfather was somehow in on the robbery—how did he acquire those rare books, anyway?—or if he just knew about it and wanted his grandson to get what is probably a substantial reward. As they say: "The world may never know.". At any rate, I found it an entertaining read. Thanks for sharing!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
for entry "shadows
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! I just have a few thoughts to share. I like how you sort of "went back in time" to describe the darkness, slowly but steadily encroaching on the apparently unsuspecting man. Who knows what secrets the darkness holds? What terrors? When that sliver is gone, he just may find out! Thanks for sharing this with us!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
for entry "Gain of Function
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi! I just wanted to share a thought or two. Poets use words to tell a tale. You've used yours to express a view on the bane of our existence lo these last (almost) three years, and the cinquain's form was perfectly suited to this. Thanks for sharing it!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Home  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! Just a few thoughts about your poem. I really like your description. Many of us, I'm sure, view our home as a refuge from the chaos that's out there on a daily basis. As you point out, though, it's also an inner place filled with warmth, family and friends. You chose the flexible quatrain as your medium and kept to one of the established rhyme schemes - good job!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Dr. Beverly Siver  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with VETERANS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi! I just wanted to offer a few thoughts about your story. So - looks like there's a little sci-fi skulduggery going on, with scientists very far from home, at least one of them not too happy about it, and the military keeping a secret. Oh, yeah - the chief scientist decides to become a mole. This looks like it could easily get even more exciting, were you to continue the tale! Thanks for sharing this with us!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
With a handle / username combo of Lobelia / mamahobbit, I just had to read something of yours! This is quite the tale of 'sartorial splendor', and I have to wonder which comment weighed more in his decision to stop wearing the raincoat: male stripper or 'Will Work For Food guy'? I must admit I can identify with his basic clothing choices, though. I myself own a multitude of caps and t-shirts, but a few favorites get more than their fair share of outdoors time. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! I just wanted to offer a few thoughts about your poem. It points out various current events that are grim and more than a little scary, and you offer insight into how they impact your mood. Toward the end, you pose a few questions regarding possible end states and how they might look. Sobering thoughts, indeed. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Quiet Fire  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! I just wanted to offer a few thoughts on your story. As a fan of, and frequent contributor to, the Amazing 55, I enjoyed the way you told and inferred an entire story in just 55 words. "Curled edges of quiet fire..." tells me the leaves turned a lovely orange before dropping to the ground, awaiting the fate of wind and rake. And, of course, a young'un looking for some fun! You painted a lovely picture of a clean-swept yard on a beautiful fall day. Thanks for sharing this!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Clamber  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! I wanted to offer a few thoughts about your poem; I'm not a poetry expert, just a reader. It seems to me you've captured someone's daily trials and tribulations; maybe yours, maybe not. I see the struggle to endure not just the effort of daily living, but also of dealing with setbacks. Set against the longing to just let go, though, there's that someone to cling to, that someone who provides the solid ground they need. I thank you for sharing this with us, and I wish you well.


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Even Prompter  
for entry "Bagpipes
Review by NaNo_Mike
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Beholden! I'd like to offer a few words about your poem. The first stanza mentions how some feel about bagpipe music: "...cos it grates." Even Star Trek's Scotty allowed that some people don't consider it music [Dreadnought! by Diane Carey]. I'm not one of those, though, because the second stanza immediately brought the word 'skirling' to mind. It's a cool word and almost exclusively associated with pipes. I also liked your take on the prompt as expressed at the end: "...pleasure in the sigh and guilt since boys don't cry." Thanks for sharing this with us.

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp
17
17
for entry "Karma Hotel
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

Hi! This review is for "Karma Hotel

First Impressions: At the outset, it seems that the criminals escape punishment for their horrific deeds; but it only seems that way. Vics and perps meet up in the afterlife, with both groups having a say in how things progress.

Setting: The Pearly Gates Hotel, a heavenly 12-star establishment, is the scene of most of the action.

Grammar and Spelling: No errors leapt out at me - good job!

Character/Dialogue: The reader doesn't get much by way of description for the 4 main characters, although Alex and Sally's appearances will change throughout their "stay". George and Mary basically become Pongo and Princess, so everyone should have a good idea what they look like.

Suggestions: You could think about removing the dogs reference in "All four of them were dead, including the dogs,...", since all the victims were just described. Also, you may want to tweak this bit: "He looked to be the sort that even a Marine might, if briefly, give pause to." To me, who's intimidating whom seems unclear. You might try "...the sort that might, if briefly, even give pause to a Marine" or, possibly, "...the sort that might, if briefly, give pause to even a Marine." Also, you may wish to rethink your Genre choices with an eye toward a possible Quill nomination. 'Writing' and 'Other' aren't an awarded genres, so you may want to replace them with something like Dark, Death, Horror/Scary, Mythology, perhaps even go for laughs with Food/Cooking. *BigSmile* At just under 4300 words, your story could be part of a very small group of nominees.

Overall: A different take on crime and punishment, and worth the read.


Remember that these are my personal thoughts and no offense is meant by any criticism offered.

Thanks for sharing!

NaNo_Mike


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Hidden motive  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello, and welcome to an Account Anniversary Review! You tell a tale of three young men who make their living stealing and aren't above using violence to get the job done. One of them has been keeping an eye on a prospective target, and now their plan is to break in and take the cash he's been storing. Fortunately for the target, he's not home; unfortunately, his girlfriend is. I don't recall reading anything about masks, so the woman most likely still would have been killed, even if the boyfriend had been there, but it's a shame nonetheless. They apparently get away with their crime, and give no thought to the potential consequences.

It looks like you assigned an appropriate rating to this story (although raising it one level wouldn't be the worst idea), based on the action, language and level of violence. Not everyone does, so - good job!


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp

An image donated by  [Link To User legerdemain]  for use with Anniversary Reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! I chose this essay for your Account Anniversary Review. You're quite right about the whole 'pairs' or 'sets' thing, unless you're shopping at a discount or thrift store (and, sometimes, not even then), and I agree that anything sold from a 'left and right' POV—except for socks—can make for a disappointing (if not actually depressing) shopping experience for someone without 'matching' limbs.

I, too, have experienced the "Just one?" restaurant greeting, even at my 'go-to' eatery (although that's usually with staff who don't know me well; most of the time, it's just "Do you need a menu tonight?"). From my perspective, I've always considered the thought behind the question to be, perhaps, that your dining partner may be parking the car or will be joining you shortly. I can understand, though, how the question can have a touch of condescension.

The cruise ship issue is fairly easily answered. The cruise line loses money—the 2nd fare—if you're alone in a standard room (double occupancy). If the ship offers solo cabins and you get one, you shouldn't have to 'make up the difference.'

All that being said, you're absolutely right: there's nothing at all wrong with pursuing an activity all on your own. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp

A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of  [Link To User legerdemain]


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Burned  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's your WDC Anniversary month, so here's a review for you! This is so sad, reading about a relationship ruined by betrayal. I've had a couple of 'almost' relationships, but I've never lost one to deceit. The hurt goes very deep, as shown in the 3rd stanza's last line: "Cold is my heart, my eyes are frost". The deceiver has burned their bridge, there's no going back, and there may not be a new bridge for the narrator.

You got a nice rhyme scheme going and kept at it throughout - good job! The meter varied somewhat but, since this wasn't tied to a specific form, it didn't matter at all and didn't distract me from enjoying the poem. Thanks for sharing this with us.


Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp

An image donated by  [Link To User legerdemain]  for use with Anniversary Reviews


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of For Either Of Us  
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi! Virtual dice have declared you the winner of an Anniversary Review, so here we go! First of all, the story's beginning completely got me thinking in a different direction than the eventual finale - bravo! I even thought that the 'accused' was a mouse or rat, rather than just a housefly. The reference to serving time also led me astray as, by that point, I'd begun to suspect that 1) the target was some sort of vermin, rather than a person, 2) the weapon's caliber was likely a .22, and 3) the character would potentially be doing time for discharging a firearm within city limits or some such locality.

I'm pretty much in favor of dealing a death blow to all types of vermin, so I quite enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing it!

Congratulations on your WdC Anniversary.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi! The Virtual Dice say it's time for an Anniversary Review, so here we go! Lord only knows where, but I've actually heard of this coffee. Anyone visiting this shop should be forewarned by its name, and I thought it was a nice 'plug' to name the owner Kopi. I liked how you set up Sidehill Wampus Cat's habitat, quietly explained in the area set aside for 'special customers', as well as the gathering and roasting process. That's pretty much how "in the wild" beans are harvested, and I thought it made a fun read.

Thanks for sharing this with us!


A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of  [Link To User legerdemain]


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi! I just wanted to share a few thoughts about your poem. It's a sad poem about two people who were very much in love, but issues of some sort came between them and they grew apart, leaving only the memories of how great they were together to sustain him. Thanks for sharing bit of yourself with us.

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Even Prompter  
for entry "Saplings
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good evening! If I may, I'd like to offer a few thoughts on your poem. I like how you expand on the prompt image by taking us from tiny twig to tree, and how you urge the tree to grow ever taller, so that it can most benefit from the sunlight. I also see how you used the last line to reflect a possible reason for the sparseness of fully grown trees in the image.

As to your poem's form and rhyme scheme, both were well executed; none of it felt 'forced' to me. Thanks for sharing this!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
for entry "Passion Tanka
Review by NaNo_Mike
In affiliation with Positive Hearts Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi! I chose Passion for this week's review. The image you created of shared passion just leaps right off the screen, showcasing the personal and emotional viewpoint allowed in a tanka. For me, it conjures an image suitable for use as the front cover of a romance novel (and we all know how racy some of those can be). Your Note addresses any concern one might have regarding the form's rules, so I think you followed them just fine, so I have no suggestions for improvement. Thanks for sharing this!

Reviews are like a box of chocolates. Take what you like and toss the rest. F. Gimp


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
95 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mikewrites