What a sweet little story. I really like the characters. Their dialogue was very realistic and felt natural. I love how she reacted with love and maturity rather than jealousy. This was a truly beautiful love story and I don't even usually LIKE love stories. Very well done.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the "not jumping back into another relationship" line. But, saying that abuse victims shouldn't label their abusers as monsters is unfair at best. Narcissistic abusers ARE monsters. It doesn't matter how nice you are to them, how hard you try to make the relationship work or if you do everything right. They are truly evil. Victim blaming and shaming is NEVER the right answer.
It is important that the victim receive therapy, though, definitely. Why do some of us continuously attract abusive control freaks? How to get out of that cycle is definitely worthy of being addressed.
Keep in mind, abusers blame their victims and the victims tend to believe them. Reinforcing that will do serious harm to the survivor. Holding the abuser accountable is definitely important for healing!
I'm not sure why you have this set to be seen in the Read & Review area? There's really nothing here to review. I am guessing you posted it by mistake? I did take a look at the group info, but, again, there was really nothing there to review either.
Fun and amusing. I enjoyed reading this. I didn't notice any mistakes in the poem itself, but I'm unsure about the title. Is there a pun there that I'm not understanding or did you misspell yolk?
Poor Humpty. We finally have learned why they couldn't put him back together.
Short, but well-written and interesting. A strange, yet fascinating, little tale. I really enjoyed this story. I did find a few errors and I showed the fixes in red below:
"Yes, Sir! I killed Ms. Marple, the hooker, on my birthday. I've murdered one person
"Yes, Father, in fact,every one of my victims shared my birthday, which was the only thing we had in common."
"Why a mass murderer would want to give closure to the families of his victims?"
I'm not your ordinary mass murderer.
know if your loved one is dead or alive. You see, my little sister, Amy, was kidnapped and murdered on her fifth birthday.
Fantastic story! The suspense was perfectly executed, the characters felt realistic and I was so happy when Gabe survived. Very exciting little story. I didn't notice any errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation. Perfectly written. Great job.
I am updating the review...this is excellent. All mistakes were fixed and it reads very smoothly. Still a great story. The only reason I didn't go with 5 stars is that I really do feel like it could be longer. It works as a short story, but in all honesty...I want more.
Wow, what a sad little tale. This is a well-written story with believable characters and dialogue. I could really feel the pain, sadness, and desperation as I read it. I didn't notice any obvious errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation. Excellent job.
This was a good read. Well-written, with no obvious errors in punctuation, spelling, and grammar.
I am glad that you were able to make an arranged marriage work for you and that your extended family ended up being a positive experience as I've read some horror stories about these kinds of situations.
This was an interesting little story. I feel like it could be expanded into something much more though. I really like it, as is, just feel like it has potential as a novel or novella.
I only found some minor errors and have noted them in red.
thinner bulletproof glass
“That Tthing is pretty powerful
“Yeah. Long sleeve lab coats and goggles for sure. Last time a piece hit my goggles and scratched them.”
with our coating.” I think
Finally, after five years
setting up tothe test and the shot.
entire sequence played out, finally settling on
slows the transfer from one side of the glass to the other; looks like twenty minutes or so.”
“I don’t know. I wonder if we change the formula slightly will it affect the time.
I love this little story. Very fun to read! I did find some errors which I have highlighted in red below. Great job and keep on writing!
pencil-thin mustache
I saw in the very rear a young man of Puerto Rican descent
Peppy (later you call him Pepe which seems more accurate)
Apparently, it was he who called in the report of “A man standing on the 14th-floor ledge,” which I later corrected in my log to be the 13th-floor ledge
none the lessnonetheless
“So, Whaddaya think?” my captain asked
with a Ph.D. that didn’t know shit from Shinola, and he was half right. I promised myself that one day I would Google Shinola, find out what the hell it was (it's actually a name brand, hence needing to be capitalized. It was a popular shoe polish years ago.)
“Forgive me one second,” I said and made my way back to the window.
I ducked back inside. “Okay, sports fans, this is what you’re going to do. Ready?” They all three nodded their heads.
run down to McDonald's
pick up a couple of large pies and some buffalo wings!
Excellent job writing a story without dialogue. Your descriptions were perfect and you kept me interested from beginning to end. I found your story while looking through contests. I don't know if I will enter this one since I honestly don't think I could beat you. Good luck!
Such a sweet little story. I really enjoyed this one. I felt that Charlie was a very realistic and likable character. I didn't notice any errors in grammar, punctuation or spelling. Nicely done.
I'm not sure what went wrong, but my choices didn't get inserted into the story. It just still reads (noun) or (verb) when you get to the final result page. I'm guessing it's a writingML issue. If you get the chance to fix it, please let me know and I'll be happy to come back and re-rate and review it.
This was a little confusing. The unlucky success prompt really doesn't make sense and I couldn't figure out what to put there. I think a common noun would have been the best choice after reading the final result. In the first line you have the wrong verb tense for walk, it should be walked. For family member, you should have specified male family member or changed "his name" to "their name'.
In the final sentence, "He" should be capitalized.
I think with a little bit of fixing this could be a really fun little MadLib.
I thoroughly enjoyed this little story. I love vampire and zombie stories in general and this one did not disappoint! You do a great job of describing the scene and the characters, really painting a vivid picture. I didn't notice any errors. Great job!
A wonderful start. Very descriptive and interesting. Pulled me right in. The little guy sounds like a leprechaun perhaps? I find myself wondering who the gray man really is and why he can't remember. The suspense buildup is perfect. I'm fully engaged in the story and can't wait to read more. Very nicely done.
I see some real potential in this little story. I think, with some editing for grammar, and some expanding to make it a little bit longer story, this could be really good. Keep on writing!
This is well-written but feels a little too short. More like a preface to a longer story than a story by itself. I did feel the build-up of tension was good. Would love more detail on the zombies and their kills to make it really scary.
I didn't notice any errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation.
An odd and interesting little tale. I enjoyed it quite a bit. I didn't notice any obvious errors. I really liked the ending. I can't help but wonder how long they end up staying there before someone else comes along. Or, maybe, they find a way out.
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