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385 Public Reviews Given
1,861 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a sweet, touching story. I really enjoyed this. I felt that Harold was a very realistic character and I was happy for him when he found something he could enjoy doing. Very well written.
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177
Review of The Snowman  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A cute, fun little story. Love the twist at the end.
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178
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Sad but sweet. Very well-written. You do a really great job of telling a story in so few words.
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179
Review of Reynolds  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A fun little story. As an Edgar Allen Poe fan I especially enjoyed this. No noticeable mistakes.
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180
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A sweet, amusing tale. Again, you have a wonderful way with words and are a true pleasure to read. As usual, there are no obvious mistakes.
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181
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hooked me right from the start. Thankfully the Kindle version is very affordable. Can't wait to read more!
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Review of Video Evidence  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Another great little story. I didn't notice any errors this time. You do a great job of telling a story in few words. Keep writing!
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183
Review of The Silhouette  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderful story, fantastic ending. Only error noticed: His mother backed a step. (backed up a step)
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184
Review of Gardens of Eden  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A strange and interesting little story. Well-written, no obvious errors. Nicely done.
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185
Review of The Last Guardian  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Absolutely wonderful little story. I knew it had to be some kind of rodent or bug, but I still enjoyed the ending. Delightful! I didn't notice any obvious errors.
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186
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
her wrinkled and scared mouth (scarred)

skin drawn tight and scared over ninety percent of her body. (scarred)

until it filled her from crotch to Adam's apple. (females don't have Adam's apples)

Other than those 3 things it was perfect. Excellent descriptiveness, great story. A truly enjoyable read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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187
Review of The Fluttering  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A fun little read. Didn't notice any obvious errors. A little short, but funny.
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Review of RealityShift.net  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I really enjoyed what I've read so far. Most of the chapters I've read so far are well-written and fun to read. It's a great idea. I'm sure we've all wished we could do some of these things in real life. I look forward to reading more and possibly adding as well.
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189
Review of The Sale  Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A fun little story. Short, but sweet. Just a few things that could be improved: You use the word jumped twice in a short space at the beginning.

I was brushing my teeth when the alarm I had set to wake me up went off. This line feels just a little wordy and awkward to me. Maybe consider simply... I was brushing my teeth when my alarm went off.


and again surprised my by going (my should be me)


And don’t worry, with those shoes your live (life)



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
190
190
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Short and sweet. Funny and to the point. I giggled out loud when I read this. As a side note: If you're out of shampoo and your hair tends to be more oily than dry, Dawn dishsoap actually does work very well as a shampoo. (Wish it really would help you lose weight!)

Thanks for the laughs. Nicely done.
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191
Review of Time Virus  Open in new Window.
for entry "Chapter 5Open in new Window.
Review by Just a Penguin Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Before I get to the nitpicking, I want to make sure you understand that the following critique is meant to help make your wonderful story better, not to be mean. I am enjoying the story; if I wasn't, I would simply stop reading and not spend the extra time needed to provide my opinons and advice. I get the impression from this chapter that you were a little rushed for time to finish it. Now the nitpicking:


battle scars latter. (should be later, not latter)

She's in the middle of an archaeological dig that seems to be the last hope of mankind but takes time to talk on the phone with her mother on a daily basis?? Seems odd.

then one day, a young boy with a badly burned face from an accident the previous year came up on a pilgrimage. By then the military had taken over and kept people away. Somehow, he had sneaked in. When they found him, he was a perfectly normal boy, but the scarring was gone. It was as if it had never been there.

(this section is really awkward...it's hard to put a finger on it, but the wording just feels off. Sorry, that's not overly helpful, I"m having trouble putting a finger on why it sounds wrong to me) Part of it is, the way you say he's perfectly normal, but the scarring is gone. The word "but" isn't appropriate here. It makes no sense worded that way. Maybe something like...
When they found him he was a perfectly normal boy, the scarring having miraculously disappeared.

bunch of children to small to handle the large equipment. (too small)

a plant or star system they (did you mean planet?)

Final note for this chapter: You still are bringing the story along very nicely. The suspense is building and you continue to hold my interest. Love the last line of the chapter, also. Makes the reader eager to "turn the page".
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