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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mspenguin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
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380 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I like the premise of the story, but it seems to kind of ramble and go off-track a lot. It's like a good first draft, basically. I think with some careful editing it could be really good. It feels like it's more of a telling the story instead of showing us. More description of what the demon is doing to them and building up more suspense would be helpful. The characters seem pretty likable and realistic.
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Review of The Naughty Gift  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Awww, this was adorable. I love the story from the puppy's view. I hope they weren't too mad about the tree. It was their own fault after all! So cute. Thanks for sharing this sweet story.
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3
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this contest. I don't always come up with something for a prompt, but the prompts are always interesting. Thank you!
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4
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Short, definitely weird, definitely amusing. I like the strangeness and originality. The only downside is there are A LOT of grammar errors. I have shown the necessary changes in red below. Keep on writing!

Noticing that it looked thicker than milk, she put it on her finger and licked it. It tasted just like ice cream! Suprised, but interested, she took an ice cream cone, put it under her nipple, pinched it and lactated ice cream.


A guy and his girlfriend are in an odd situation.The guy got decapitated and his body went missing. Meanwhile, his girlfriend also got decapitated but her head went missing. Fortunately, both of them managed to live, but they have also been combined.
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5
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very powerful poem. Well-written, it invokes feelings of fear and anger. You paint the picture of a white supremacist lunatic perfectly. It reminds us of how far our country still needs to go before it can truly be free. The plea at the end is heartfelt and I can tell you wrote this while feeling extremely emotional. Well done.
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Review of Charity's Destiny  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a cute little story. Short, but sweet. Realistic dialogue. Little girls really do look up to their mothers and think they know everything. The mom was sweet though exasperated and I totally related to that. It's a nice little slice of life kind of story and well-written. I didn't notice any obvious errors.
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Review of Shepherd  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so sweet and beautiful. I have 4 cats and just loved this. They really are the best friends and sweetest cuddlers and occasional little crazy fluffballs. I am not very good at reviewing poetry, but it felt like it flowed well and had a consistent rhythm.
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is an interesting tale. I like the old-fashioned feel, the language is very poetic. I feel as if it is unfinished and would love to know more about what happens to her. It feels like justice so far as she really was awfully rude and condescending. I only found a few errors:

she manageda shaky nod.

this time not even deeming to look at the boy.

devour her like they had each other.

as she realized the depravity of the situation


I hope this story will be continued!


9
9
Review of The Process  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was well-written and amusing. It was definitely realistic and the dialogue felt very natural. I think we all can relate to starting a project, getting distracted, and then ending up doing something completely different. I love how the wife at the end just went off to the laundromat as if she'd expected it to end this way to begin with. Short, but sweet. Only a couple of minor errors found:

“I’ll have it done in no time.” Off he went to the basement.

He needed to fix this, and probably vacuum the shop area a bit too. But first, he needed a new post and some better plastic.

10
10
Review of Shelter In Place  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was a really fun little story. I really enjoyed reading it. I love how the animals are so much smarter than the humans. This really was a delight to read and I didn't notice any obvious errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation. A job well done.
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11
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
I feel like there might be an interesting story in here, but it's so full of spelling and grammar errors that I just couldn't quite understand it. They were just so distracting for me. I think if you give it a thorough editing, maybe with the free version of Grammarly, it would help a lot. I hesitated to read it in the first place due to the errors right in the description (go's instead of goes and form instead of from) but I wanted to give it a chance as it had no ratings yet. I feel like it's going to be about a woman who is really an alien? But, again, not sure. If you get the chance to edit it please let me know and I'd be happy to re-read and re-rate it.
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Review of Starting Over  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is beautifully written, so heartfelt. I felt his sadness and his hope. I have so much empathy and truly root for him to be able to make his grandfather proud. Such a wonderful story. I noticed no obvious errors in grammar, punctuation or spelling.
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13
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, this is interesting. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be an intro to a sci-fi piece or if it's actually being presented as fact? If it's supposed to be about our origins, it's definitely an interesting theory. In that case, though, Nefilim should be spelled Nephilim, I believe. Unless that's an alternate spelling I'm unaware of. Either way, this is well-written and provocative.
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Review of Untitiled  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Telling a whole story in under 300 words isn't easy and you did a great job with this. It had a great twist and a fun, though dark, ending. (My favorite kind) I only found one minor spelling error:

I’d say, a million, a million-two.” (

I do think you should give it a title, though. That's the only complaint I really have.
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Review of Matching Skin  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is interesting...it held my attention from start to "finish" but definitely did not actually feel finished. This was great as a teaser to a longer story...a great beginning. I would love to see where it goes. I think this shows serious promise and I noticed no glaring errors of any kind. I hope you will continue to add to this!
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Review of homelessness  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a good, informative article, though it does have a lot of spelling and grammar errors that could be cleaned up to make it easier to read. I think with a little editing it could be excellent. Homelessness is a huge issue and it's important for people to understand that many people become homeless through no fault of their own and, as you mentioned, the pandemic will only make things worse. It's good you are calling attention to their plight.
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I like this expanded version even better than the other one. I just love how holier than thou this psycho hypocrite is. It's so darkly hilarious. Honestly, I get a real kick out of her. I still would love to see more. I think it is a great start to a longer story. Not that it can't stand alone, it can, but it could just be so much more! *Smile*
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Review of Follow the Light  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good short zombie tale. I really liked it from the infected's perspective. The descriptions were good and I really felt like I was inside her head. I didn't notice any major errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar except at the very end. The last line should say supposed, not suppose.
Great job!
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a sad little story. I really like it. I felt like their dialogue was realistic, it flowed pretty smoothly. I didn't notice any obvious errors in punctuation, spelling, or grammar. I am partial to nuclear holocaust stories and this is definitely going to always be considered one of my favorites. Great job!
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was wonderful. I really enjoyed this little piece. The descriptiveness was excellent and the humor was spot on. You really made me feel all the anxiety as if I was about to go out walking in the dark of night. You have a way with words and the flow was fantastic. I didn't notice any obvious errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Excellent job.
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well-written and darkly humorous. I felt that the advice wasn't exactly terrible, though, most likely, you wouldn't survive. I like the mostly optimistic, yet realistic tone. Nice job. I didn't notice any glaring errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation.
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Review of To Cry No More  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is very powerful for such a short piece. I really felt for her and her emotions felt so real and so raw. I just love this. The ending was so realistic and it was the perfect ending. Fantastic job. I didn't notice any errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation.
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Review of Men in Black  
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A short, but amusing little tale. Fun to read. No major errors noticed. I actually had to Google "pickle off" as I hadn't heard that phrase before. Normally, it would be used to describe dropping a bomb, but I guess it could mean to shoot a gun as well. It's a bit obscure, but not necessarily bad. This story made me smile and giggle. Well done.
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Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Such a fun little story. I felt it was well-written and quite amusing. I do enjoy these kinds of stories a lot. I even wrote one with the same title myself. Poor guy. He was doing so well until the radio did him in. Thanks for the laughs. I didn't notice any obvious errors.
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25
Review by Grandma Penguin
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is really good so far...definitely feels unfinished? I can't help but feel like her husband isn't all he appears to be. I really want to know more! I felt like she is a very real and likable character and I have so much empathy for her. I didn't notice any errors. The story drew me right in. I am concerned about the 13+ rating because of the rape scene. I feel it should be 18+. You might want to check with a moderator. Great job!
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