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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muzzy43/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/10
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Public Reviews
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226
226
Review of Dark Peace  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.0)


A dark poem. When you have taken away every kind of good thing
there is nothing left, but death.
War is bloody, but there are just wars.
This is my reservation about this poem.
Never have so many died for what they did not know.

The symbolizism is reflective of the Greek poet Homer,
"Consider the river of darkness and all the inhabitants there in."

Keep writing!

Bob
227
227
Review of Declaration  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)


"Wilts thou" I think went with "Me thinks."
Is this in Elizabethan language?
It comes on very flowery and over the top.
I don't think this is a good way to ask a girl out,
"How I long for such beauty to collapse my heart
and freeze my soul.." That's sounds like a heart attack.

Well, I enjoyed the imagery.
I think I heard this in a Woody Allen movie;
"I'm dead. What more do you want from me?"

Bob
228
228
Review of ANOTHER TOMORROW  
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


I would use more spacing to make it easier to read.
Computers can be hard on the eyes.
Is this a true story?

Very compelling.

Bob
229
229
Review of Abilene  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.5)


I woke up.
Got out of bed.
Dragged a comb across my head.

3 lines. 13 words.

I'm not sure how to interpret your prose.
Is this a contest entry?
Some of your words are darker.
Is this a message?
The emotion is deliberated.
I get the feeling the character is strong
and focus.

Bob
230
230
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Nice pic! Theoretically , there is no up or down in space.
Your picture of @Star Trek's Enterprise could up side down.
I've wondered why they didn't have seat belts. In every episode
they're being tossed about the bridge. I guess that's dramatic
license?

Strange, how the space program has taken to unmanned exploration.
I suppose its cheaper.

Bob

PS: Check out my port on "Intelligent Design."

=+=
231
231
Review of Back to Black  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


She truly will be missed.
232
232
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)


This sounds a little too preachy. I think the narrative is solid, but the speech
makes too many flowery remarks: if the bear cannot defend its cubs, then it
will become extinct, to use an Aesop metaphor. What might work here is
a dialogue amongst parents as they decide which children they will keep and
which will be euthanized. Eugenics leads to mass euthanasia.

Unfortunately, the way world politics is crashing, all life is jeopardized.

Muzzy
233
233
Review of To What Moral  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.0)


Wouldn't it be nice if we could inherit courage or kindness or a sense of
humor just as we inherit money?
I'd rather have money.
But isn't courage more precious?
Courage isn't an object like a diamond or a dollar bill.
It cannot be given.
IT IS A DECISION.
But, one man's hero is another's traitor.
King George of England threatened to hang America's founding fathers.
But, they had the courage to sign the Declaration of Independence.
Ironically, both England and America are now bankrupt.
And that is the moral dilemma of courage and money.

I like your philosophy in prose.
But, I think it needs to be a little more direct.
"The sun is lucent, yet, it burns." you write.
It is burning so it is bright.
I don't see the need to make this obvious statement.
"He saw a bush that burned, but did not burn." Moses.
Is that what you were referring to?

Still, a fun read!

Bob
234
234
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (4.0)



There is a problem here with this retelling of Luis Carols' Alice in Wonderland.
You haven't put enough of your impressions in it. I like the black wolf addition.
Try to get more of your reactions into it. And remember this is your dream.
You can make up anything.

I'd shorten the falling sequence. My attitude is to get to Wonderland as
fast as possible. What would you do there?

Maybe, you could make Alice more aggressive.

Just a thought.

Muzzy
235
235
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


I love this Bible thesis. I had to reread it.
You've hit the central point of Bible studies. What does it mean?
Have you read Grimm's Faery Tales? They're elaborate Faery tales
told for a moral. That is the importance of the Bible it's influence
of moral social issues. Does God exist? Do we need God?
What is the value of a person's life? These are questions of faith.

Fun topic!

Bob
236
236
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


I love the banter. It has a Woody Alan jester flare.
Pst! Humans can't think outside the box.
In fact, we do not see God. God's existence is inferred.
God's mind is in dispute. Go ask a Jew, a Muslim and a Christian
for their opinion.
Miracles! After Mohamed died; he rode a white horse into Heaven.
Right?
It is more reasonable to assume that when someone desires a miracle,
and a miraculous seeming event occurs, it does so not because of God,
but because of the person did it themselves. God existence is imaginary.

I love the topic.

Bob
237
237
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)



Adolf Hitler, believed in eugenics and race war. Non arians were an
enemy race. If you read the Old Testament you will find many examples
of the Jews committing genocide. There are no more Hitites or Amerities.
They were exterminated by Abraham.

It's strange how selective Jews can be about history.
My mother was Jewish, she never forgave the Christians,
who turned their backs on the Jews in NAZI Germany.
I, however, take a more pragmatic approach.
Kill only those, who would kill you.

I like the part about "the dead can only lead the blind."
The dead are a real part of our lives. They built the world we live in
with their blood.

Bob
238
238
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


Um... nice review pictures.
I really, should learn how to make them. I see lots of angels in the reviews.
I guess angels are judges? It's odd, but when I see a big picture by a reviewer;
I wonder if they're promoting their picture. The french king's would write poetry
for their subjects. It would be read to the illiterate peasants and then a trumpet
blown. Now, that's a fan fare.

:)
239
239
Review of I SERVED THE ARMY  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)



When I watch Judgement at Nuremberg; I am impressed with Abby Mann's
fairness, representing the NAZI judges on trial accused of legalizing NAZI
atrocities. The Trial established universal human rights and the responsibility
of every citizen to resist brutalities. Discipline is honorable, but blind
obedience is not .

Very thought provoking prose.

Bob
240
240
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)



"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outrage."
(Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky)

"On his airy perch among the branches
Master Crow was holding cheese in his beak."
(Marianee Moore's Master Crow)

Among the rules which govern poetry;
is to learn that prose sentences contain rhythms.
They come bundle loosely in phrases and clauses,
while poetry is packaged neatly in lines.

The iambic rhyme of this poem is pentameter
And ends on the second sentence letter.

I prefer free verse,
but this was terse.

Bob
241
241
Review by bob county
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)



Muzzy took Terri to the captain's quarters and performed an around the
world. Wht-ya-think? I think this is a concise story of couple with a long term
horniness for each other. "I love enough to leave you." A FISH NAMED WANDA.
The exposition is marvelous: "They knew each others darkness."

I think a relationship needs to be naughty.


Nice .. bah-junk-a-junk!
242
242
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)



I think the original series just can't be topped.



Bob
243
243
Review of Mary-Ann  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)



A girls love is usually fantasy. She wants passion and drama.
A woman's love is permanent. She wants a man she can depend on.
This is another free verse poem I've read:

"Scarce did a lover e'er do as I did.

When his best girl to eternity slid.

I am Romeo, Romeo.

I am the darling that mashed Romeo.

I am Juliet, Juliet.

I up and stabbed myself right in the corset.

Locked in a tomb with no pickaxe to force it."

Fred Newton Scott(1880-1931)

Good luck with Mary Ann.

Muzzy
244
244
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


Lidia, Lidia. The tattooed lady.
Multiculturalism is wonderful as long as everyone plays nice.
Unfortunately, many childish impulses test the boundaries of good manners.
There was a girl in my grammar school, who liked to kick boys in their goodies.
My told me to never hit a girl. So, I ran from her.
Fight or flight was my first lesson at the Puberty School.

It's sad, but most folks just keep to themselves.
They don't want trouble.

My only criticism of this seamless work is the right side is cut off by the margin.
Also, you don't mention what a strong influence Lady Ga Ga has on girls.
Pop culture is the religion of the teens. What if Lady Ga Ga was a bad role model?
Could you stop your daughters from imitating her?

So many choices and so many loss lives.+


Vertago~~~
245
245
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)


Have you read Black Elk Speaks?
This poem reminds me of his story about
"The Great Hoop of Life."
He was the last of his tribe and a Shaman .
He told his story "To a writer of words."
So that his people would not be forgotten.

Bob
246
246
Review of Our mothers words  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



How, unfortunate this is an exclusive campfire.
The topic is very profound, "Our Mother's Word."
My mother told me that women envy men, but
want a strong man to protect them. I was skeptical.
I grew up in the seventies and feminism was everywhere.
Even the young nun teaching me Catholic Dogma was dressing
more seductively. Sister Emeritus had long slender legs. That she
wore black nylons with. If you can get a copy of "In The Habit"; staring
Elvis Presley and Mary Tyler Moore.

Any who, good topic.

````
<^>
247
247
Review by bob county
Rated: ASR | (4.5)



Are you old enough to remember Jimmy Carter?
He was homespun and funny and he beat out Gerald Ford.
All Sarah Palin needs is a hot spot, where she looks decisive.
Obama has bad poll numbers. Folks are blaming him for their
debt. Do you remember Jimmy Stewart's, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?
I think Sarah Palin would make a strong Republican Presidential Candidate.
And I'm a Democrat. :)

Muzzy
248
248
Review of I Hate Red  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



"Here lies a fool who went out of the world
without learning why he came into it."

An inscription on a cemetery marker in Lexington, Mass.
It's funny what some people want to be remembered for.

Bob
249
249
Review of I See You  
Review by bob county
Rated: E | (5.0)


There is a chant to this: "I don't .. I still.. I want"
It is amazing how complicated people make love.
I'm guilty of it. I think people are two faced.
I'm rarely disappointed. But, this recital reads like a poem.
It has stanzas with a rhythm .. I like it.


No one writes about boredom.
Maybe, that's because it's boring.

Bob
250
250
Review of It's Too Late  
Review by bob county
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)



Excellent moral dilemma. I had a professor, who became addicted to
antidepressant medication after hiis son drowned snorkeling. He had a
course on Mark Twain. I think he wanted it; to a get a grip on life.

Kevin, in your story, knows the world is going to end soon.
He decides to grope women and revel in casual sex.
That's fairly tame. You should read Casandra. She was cursed
with knowledge of the future. Her friends ignored her or sought
violent vengeance against her. Strangely, Casandra still prayed
to the Gods for mercy. .. I guess that's Greek.

As far as reading jazz goes: "once again" is repeated to often and unnecessary
as is the refrain, "In other words." These are your words and no others.
But, the story is original and thoughtful.

Keep writing!

Bob
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