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196 Public Reviews Given
1,347 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tracey,

Wow! What a couple of difficult prompts to do acrostics with! The last one is such a long phrase and you did well keeping to the same subject.

Suggestions

Again, your punctuation makes the flow choppy. You have periods where you should have no punctuation. If you have a thought continuing to the next line, it doesn't need anything for separation.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
27
27
Review of The Trap of Anger  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello again Tracey,

Anger is definitely a horrible emotion that wastes more energy than it's worth.

Suggestions

I like how you start off with short lines in the first stanza. I also like how you repeat the first stanza as the last.

There are punctuation problems in this poem:

S1, L1: No punctuation needed
L2: Period
L3: Period
L4: No change

S2, L1: No punctuation needed
L2: No change
L3: No punctuation needed
L4: Question mark

S3, L1: No punctuation needed
L2: No change
L3: Period
L4: No change

S4, L1: Period
L2: No change (also my favorite line in the poem!)
L3: No punctuation needed, or period.
L4: No change.

S5: Same as S1.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
28
28
Review of Serenity  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

Serenity in Nata Uta form. You stuck to the form very well, and definitely reminded me what it feels like to be in a state of serenity.

Suggestions

Again, this poem is mostly technically sound. The major problems are with punctuation.

Line 2: Period
Line 6: No punctuation needed
Line 9: Period
Line 10: Period
Line 11: Semicolon
Line 12: Period
Line 14: Period
Line 16: No punctuation needed

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
29
29
Review of Slow Death  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

Another dodoitsu. *Smile* This time, about a girl whose parents shelter her from the world, and who wants to explore and experience life.

Suggestions

Mostly, this poem is sound. But there are a few spots where punctuation is used but not needed. A good example of this is the line 3 in stanza 3. No punctuation is needed here.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
30
30
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

Another libonelle that is well done! *Smile* You do quite well with this form (and every other form I've read of yours as well). It has a soothing affect on the reader. If you need to de-stress, this poem will definitely help!

I have no suggestions to offer.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
31
31
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

This poem teaches children a great lesson. I like that you made it so that the subject of the poem turned out to really like Jim (and I won't give the rest away!).

Suggestions

I'd omit the because in line 2 in stanza 1. It'll help the flow.

Line 2 of stanza 3 also messes up the rhythm. I would consider revising this line to read:

I asked around and to find his name is Jim

Line 2 of stanza 4 is incredibly long! I would consider shortening this line:

I gave him my number, one day, and asked him to phone (this is still really long, too, but the best I could come up with).

Line 2 in stanza 8 is also very long. I would consider shortening this one as well.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
32
32
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again Tracey,

All of the things around us are, indeed, inspiration for our writing. I like how you incorporated it into this poem. I also like your use of vocabulary. The words you've chosen makes this poem flow so well!

I have no suggestions to offer. This poem is technically sound.

Thanks for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
33
33
Review of Night Time Creek  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tracey,

This was a very good use of the Libonelle. I very much enjoyed reading this poem. The description of how a libonelle is written, at the top of your poem, was a little confusing. But I understood it by seeing your working example.

I have no suggestions to offer.

Thanks for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
34
34
Review of My Furbabies  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

What a wonderful poem about your dogs. *Smile* I like the title, it's so fitting! Furbabies they are, and furbabies they'll always be. You definitely express how much you love them!

I have no suggestions to offer. This poem is technically sound.

Thank you for sharing!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
35
35
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

This poem is a wonderful remembrance of Jesus, and a wonderful tribute. I like the rhyme and rhythm of this, and the message. Your title and description are very fitting, and I like that the description takes some lines from your poem and mixes them together to rhyme.

Suggestions

I'd title He in your brief description.

The rhythm of your last line is a little off. Maybe changing it to read for being my shield and my sword.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
36
36
Review of Homesick  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

It is true that once we leave what is familiar and taken for granted, we find out how much it means to us. This poem describes exactly what it is to be homesick. I reflected very well with your words.

I have no suggestions to offer. This poem is technically sound.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
37
37
Review of Lonely Crossroads  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tracey,

This poem tells the story about all of the decisions in your life very well, and shows how thankful you are to have what you have. You've done very well demonstrating this through your words.

I have no suggestions to offer. This poem is technically sound.

Thanks for sharing!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
38
38
Review of My Child  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tracey,

What a cute little poem for you to write for your children! It reads like something you would recite to them every evening at bedtime, so that they would know they're safe from monsters and bad dreams. *Smile*

I have no suggestions to offer. This poem is technically sound.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
39
39
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tracey,

Acrostics are so fun to write! *Smile* You can take just about any word and make it into something good or bad, whatever your heart desires.

This acrostic touches on rainfall, using raindrops as its inspiration. It reads in a soothing manner and contains a lot of descriptive imagery that put me in the middle of the rainshower.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
40
40
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tracey,

I wrote for this Writer's Cramp prompt, too. I admire that you wrote it in pantoum form. It is a very difficult form to write! You did a good job telling the story and keeping true to the history.

Suggestions

The rhythm on this is very inconsistant throughout the poem. Some lines are way too long for it to flow very well. An example:

The passengers were screaming as the train was falling, the momentum building up pace.

I'd revise this line to read:

Passengers were screaming, the train was falling; momentum building up pace.

There are a lot of lines where you can omit needless words (such as the) and it will help the flow immensely.

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
41
41
Review of The Song of Hope  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tracey,

You used a great inspirational to begin this poem. Emily Dickenson is one of my favorite poets. My favorite line(s) in your poem:

The fire of hope may flicker,
but the flame will never die,


Suggestions

Your image isn't working. Is this something you deleted recently?

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
42
42
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Tracey,

This is a very creepy poem! I could feel the ghost breathing down the back of my neck as I read this!

Suggestions

I would consider reading this aloud so that you can find any inconsistancies in the rhythm. There were a few spots where there was an extra syllable.

Thanks for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
43
43
Review of Story Master  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Intuey,

What an adorable tribute to Writing.Com, the Convention Pirates, and most of all the StoryMaster!

I think you stuck to the original song's rhythm pretty well.

I have no suggestions to offer. This parody is technically sound.

Thanks for sharing!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
44
44
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Frost Cry,

I love reading stories and poems in the fantasy genre. There is something about lands that exist only in our imagination and beings that we cannot see with our own two eyes that is exciting. This is a wonderful start to your novel.

Your dialogue and description are well done. I also like that you include a pronounciation guide for your names and geographic locations. I don't know how many times I've read a story and had to try to figure it out on my own.

Suggestions

Shouldn't Echos, as in your title, be Echoes?

Thank you for sharing this!
Melissa
Reviewathon Reviewer
45
45
Review of the perfect coat  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello gifted,

This love poem has an interesting approach!

When reading it, I feel as though it is too broken up, though. You could combine several of the stanzas together to make it less broken.

Stanza 7, line 1 - You should be You'd.

Thank you for sharing this and welcome to Writing.Com!
46
46
Review of Justice  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello rhigmus,

This is a very interesting poem. It's very choppy in rhthym, which is OK for a freestyle verse, but it makes it read difficult.

Your last stanza is very provoking and powerful, though. It finishes the poem off on a strong note and leaves the reader to ponder.

Thank you for sharing this and welcome to Writing.Com!
47
47
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Renegade !

"Under a funeral seizure"  is a very heavy in emotion. It has a strong ending and, again, your use of vocabulary to convey your meaning is very strong.

My favorite:
The entire third stanza.

My suggestion:
The beginning doesn't feel as strong as the end. Your metaphors in the third stanza are the strongest. If the first two stanzas were this strong, the poem would be five star material.

Overall, this is a well-written poem. The sadness was overwhelming.

Thank you for sharing this!
-Mel
48
48
Review of Poetry Forms  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hello b_boonstra!

I'm glad to see that you've returned to Writing.com and brought your poetry forms journal back with you. *Smile* I hope that this weekend finds you in good spirits and good health!

There's a lot in this journal that wasn't in the previous one. I'm so happy that someone takes the time to detail the how-to's of the various poetic forms.

*Idea* Suggestions -

You used to have an entry about the Pantuoum, but I don't see it in this journal. Is there a reason for that, or have you just not gotten to it yet?

Just a thought!

Thank you again for keeping track of the numerous poetic forms for Writing.com! This is an invaluable resource and something I refer to quite often!

Have a wonderful weekend!
- Mel
49
49
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Legerdemain !

"15 for 15 Contest --- Closed"  is a great contest idea! I think almost everyone can come up with a spare 15 minutes a day. Count me in.

My only question is, if I have to go out of town for 3 of the days, do I just have to make up the prompts later? The rules aren't clear on the specifics of missed days, only if you're joining while the contest is already in progress.

What a grand idea!

*Kiss*
-Mel
50
50
Review of Sweet & Sour  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Casey !

"Sweet & Sour"  is a Count-Up poem written for The Writer's Cramp. It's interesting to see what different pieces each writer can come up with from the same prompt. Yours is about a McDonald's nugget happy meal. Very cute!

I got a good giggle from this. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful evening.

Write on!
-Mel
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