I could see this story in the form of a children's book. Just imagine the illustration possibilities. Quake is described with leading man qualities. May I suggest instead of saying Quake is a kind-hearted dog show how this is true. What has he done? What did the dogs do to defeat the cat witch?
Bravo! You have described a tiny dictator to perfection. This fur ball does not attempt to fit in rather this feline takes over. So much personality is contained in this refugee. Rules are meant to be broken, n'est-ce pas?
This is a fun story to read and I like that it is told entirely in dialogue. I have often wondered what the noisy squirrels are chittering about. They seem to be scolding me. Haha, the dog is referred to as a big lump of fur. So, the persistent barking translates to hey, hey, hey ? Thanks for the laughs. Clever squirrels practice the art of cloaking and the crazy canine is thought to be overreacting. Got it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story from start to finish. You wove a witty tale around the given prompt sentence. I appreciate that being directionally impaired is frustrating. I could not stifle my laugh at the idea of becoming lost in a walk-in closet.
Yep, this portrays the behind the scene chaos of arranging a wedding. There is so much to do and delegation becomes a necessity. Who does what? Who coordinates? Who becomes flustered? The dialogue is realistic.
This reads as the beginning of an intriguing story. You have suggested so much more. What is in that bag that Derek purloined? The pacing is tight. So many questions are raised. Is Derek actually home free? Where is he taking that bag?Great use of the prompt words.
Great, imaginative use of the prompt words. Now I have this chaotic image of a floating moose, no, an indignant floating moose, swirling upward next to two total strangers. You created an amusing tale with a minimum of words.
This was an exciting, fast-paced story. I felt as if I was strapped into that plane's seat. Flight is certainly one way to feel a rush, a thrill. Thanks for my adrenaline dose this morning. Armchair flight is exciting.
This is a cute story. Kids are more loving and accepting than we realize. They see the good in everything and are so appreciative. A child who can ease Mom's apprehensions sounds confident. The final line says it all.
Wow, this sums up the angst, the mystery, the manic frenzy of writing. A story just needs a starting point and a subject. The imagination takes care of the rest. I am in awe. Congrats on your deserved win.
Haha, I love the surprise ending. This is not what Gunner expected, but he will he happy and have a tail to wag to prove it. Sometimes life, or time, or fate throws curve balls. I like that you got straight to the meat of this story. Gunner made his decision and you did not mince words. That final line is hilarious, too.
They say that everyone collects something. They also say that everyone loves a bargain. Why not welcome another dog? The more the merrier is as good an answer as any. Great creative response to the prompt.
Haha, brilliant! The body the men obsessed over was not at all a human one. A body of water is a life giver, salvation to three lost and desperate men. You have packed a punch in this wee tale. I like that unexpected resolution.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer to read something with spelling and grammar. Perhaps you are attempting to present this piece as if it was a typical text from a young person. Is this composed as it is spoken? The lower case I , using u'll, and use of ur is off-putting. You do write of vulnerability and the narrator being awkward. That is easy to follow.
I admire your deft, light-hearted handling of this piece. Those unique noises are spot on and the kind that no car owner wishes to hear. Something similar to this happened to my daughter during a winter drive. Her car suddenly wobbled and listed to one side. As she pulled over to the highway's shoulder she saw the entire front wheel bouncing down the incline and rolling away in the deep snow. Stuff happens. I laughed at the final line. Some people live to be helpful.
This piece of poetry has a lilt to it. It could be a rally song. I like the unforced rhymes that roll off the tongue. As you summarized there's many reasons to fight. each man could justify his reason to fight. I have one wee nitpicky suggestion. Should it be nicotine and alcohol ?
I never knew how futile words could be. Truer words have never been included in anything. Emotions are difficult to express perhaps because they are so personal, so strong, so all-encompassing. How do we convey the depth of our love, our devotion? It is so important and feelings are sometimes misconstrued. I like the sentiment and the rhyme scheme of this poem. You have a family treasure here.
I can see/hear this as a country song, it just needs a tune to carry it. I believe many will relate to this poem and its words of world weary wisdom. I like the verse about liars and respect that will be broken. True words for sure. If I think your wrong should be you're wrong. I,m sorry since birth should be I'm sorry.
Much can be said and intimated in a brief one-hundred words. This Black Widow's life is all about uncontrollable instincts. She follows what is necessary to survive. Her need for a mate is but a fleeting desire. Brutal. Succinct.
A big grin is plastered on my face after reading this poem. It has a rollicking rhythm and lilt. The rhyming seems effortless and fun. Clickin Addiction. I believe I suffer from this, too. How easily we slip from one subject and/or site to another. It is so effortless and smooth. Jokes and comics are vital components to my online searches as well. Time is never wasted, but pleasantly endured. Thanks for sharing this.
I've worked with seniors. Dementia is a terrible thief. The brain is a complicated organ and memories form so much of what we become. The care proffered to the afflicted is indeed a requiem to love. I like that line. It suggests the power and lasting impression of love.
This was a mesmerizing read from start to finish. Memories seem to have a life of their own in this tale. What a tragic family. Every event seemed inevitable. Death found and claimed each member of this family.
The fondness you have for Megan Rose glimmers brightly in this poem. Your words make it apparent that you cherish this person and your relationship. Megan must truly be special. I like the idea of a tale with a cul-de-sac. I have noticed one wee gaffe and that is in the second to final line. The word a is repeated unnecessarily.
Well the title lives up to the expectation . Very clever that you included the El Corazon cave with the idea of the heart of the matter, a relationship in crisis. This is tightly written and moves at a fast pace. You build to the abandonment. I can see this as an episode for a television program.
You were creative with this piece of writing. It's fun to think from the viewpoint of an inanimate object isn't it? A dumpster keeps a journal ? Why not. You touched upon some of the abuses a garbage bin endures. I noticed a few editing type things. When you describe the homeless fellow you repeat yourself by claiming he smelled. Smelly guy. He smelled really bad. I looked up the word cartonic and all Google could reveal was a type of 3- D puzzle. Is that what you intended? The bum's house was makeshift? I noticed one i .Why did he do that for? Isn't it what did he do that for? I was transformed in some should be transformed into. For all garbage bin should be for all garbage bins.
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