Nor should you be defined! You are you. You are unique. Wise Dr. Zeuss put it best. "No one is youer than you." I suppose many of us lament the change in our physical appearances as we age. I believe we see ourselves as perpetually young and are shocked when the mirror image disagrees with us. Yes, be complex. "Some people make me prickly." You and me both! We are human. I have but one suggestion. Use quotation marks " around "you're old." Thanks for the read! This is a great poem.
I'm laughing! Nothing like a wee incentive, or is that an outright bribe to compel a family member to join a road trip and then possibly overeat chicken and waffles. That will be quite the significant distance to travel. I personally have driven much further to reach Florida. The dialogue in this story is believable. My only thought is that "road trip" need not be capitalized in the final line.Haha, ordering a dog to gather its essentials and prepare for a car trip. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.
Wow, you've put a great deal of thought into this tale and the premise of the number twenty-three possessing magical significance. The teacher seems pleased with the student's visions and reflections. How very deep and spiritual to propose that we do not always find answers, but instead discover the "right questions." This is a refreshing way to approach living. Thanks for the read! I have only one suggestion. Is a word missing in the line "not allow the excitement or anticipation take over"? In my reading I believe it should be " to take over."
This is a fantastic fantasy poem. I enjoyed reading it out loud. Congrats with the rhyming. I realize it was composed in a tight time frame, but some words are repeated often such as 'dream' and 'gleam.' Perhaps with more time to think and edit other words could be substituted, or the rhyme reworked.
Haha! Yes, there's a world of difference between four hundred children and four hungry children. I cannot fathom feeding four hundred kids, whew. Your work environment seemed to provide many lessons in musical genres. Thanks for the laugh!
Bravo and kudos to you! Yes, we do not comprehend the struggles of others. Too often we are immersed in our own dramas and on-going needs. That young man learned that there is compassion waiting to embrace him.
Yes, autism is prevalent and misunderstood. My cousin Paul is on the spectrum for whatever that diagnosis is worth. He is of advanced adult age in the physical sense, but his behaviour still continues to be bizarre and inexplicable. I've written about Paul and some of his exploits. I think of him as being perpetually a young teenager. He both clings to and despises his parents. I've witnessed all that my aunt and uncle have attempted to do helping Paul. Unfortunately, Paul's behaviour has resulted in criminal charges. Autism is gut-wrenching and I commend you for supporting your daughter and grandson.
Wow, what an experience! This pencil really did get your attention and taught you a lesson. I notice you did not describe your ordeal as 'getting the point.' With the persistence the pain instigated you were finally vindicated. Who expected to pull a pencil from your body? Thanks for sharing.
Ah, this piece describes the bittersweet side of being a mother. We raise them, care for them, teach them and the the children venture forth on their own. It is so true that children grow quickly. Once reliant beings become independent. Once a mother always a mother. Yes, the love in unconditional and eternal. This tale captures a poignant moment in time. Thanks for the read!
HAHA! This is a fun read. Of course it makes no sense, but that's to be expected. I actually have managed to catapult out of my thongs/flip flops, so it is doable. I just re-read the madlib... two guys catapulted out of the same pair of flip flops? Okay...hmmmm... I stick by my word choice. Days in July often are volcanic! Oh, wait, is Jules female? I've played this word game with my grandgiggles and it's good for a laugh.
What an imagination you have! Yes, I too often notice shapes, familiar shapes, in clouds. I like cloud-gazing as a prelude to your tale. It contains action and romance, two 'things' that appeal to many readers. May I suggest, if you consider a re-write or an edit, to expand upon certain areas of this story. Perhaps try a bit more show and less tell. What actions make you believe someone is feeling blissful? Is it their smile? Do they appear to be daydreaming? Again, what is gracefully? Throughout your story there are plenty of action verbs. They propel the arc of the story. "We waited for what seemed like an eternity." What did they do? Did they wring their hands? Did they pace and fret? These are suggestions and not meant to be criticisms. I envision the illustrations that could accompany your tale. They'd be magnificent. Have you considered entering Writing 4 Kids Contest here at WDC?
Oh, how that particular song has another meaning. In a few words you've described a contentious relationship between a mother and daughter. Everything is misconstrued. Innocent invitations become commands and attempts to control. This mother knows when to retreat. Great writing!
Wow, you have quite the imagination! An amusement park alien? I can picture the furious spinning in giant tea cups. Thank goodness 'our' rides don't disappear into the yawning earth. I like your poem, it's a great surprise much like that experienced by the astronauts.
This is a thoughful remembrance of a talented singer taken too soon. Despite her terminal diagnosis Nightbirde exuded positivity. If she were still alive, she'd put your words to music. This poem flows.
Haha! I especially laughed at your final stanza. I'm with you, why can't by-gones be by-gones? Live and let live, or as Elsa sang, 'Let It Go.' I like your breezy style. Your rhyming is effortless. I alas cannot ignore a certain groundhog. He chooses to be my campsite neighbour and at one time he burrowed under my camper.
First of all, Hi and welcome to WDC. Congrats on posting your first review request on the Community Newsfeed. You write of a deep pain and loss. Every moment you endure is a step forward. This is my personal thought, but could you write the actual word 'you'? You've crafted a sensitive poem and text-speak doesn't do it justice. I look forward to more of your writing.
Ah, pets do become beloved family members. I too had a cat that left his mark on my heart, Itty Bitty, a grey tabby. Oh, he had a huge personality! You've immortalized Tigger with much love. I laughed at the section where you compared Tigger to a Nascar driver.
Your father decided to live by the old adage turn the other cheek. I agree that requires courage and conviction. He chose not to be angry, or take offence. Kindness is often over-rated and unappreciated. He left you a great memory.
Ah, it is heartbreaking to witness children like this. He seems alone and forgotten, but is he? He's free to come and go. He does leave and then return. He must live somewhere and be supported. He is a mysterious figure to be sure. What is his story?
I loved this story! If only all parents and their children understood and accepted each other like this. For parents there is prodding/pushing/encouraging and loving/pride/bonding. Yes, academic achievement is not always about effort and studying. You either understand, or you do not. Tushar is one lucky son.
Maggie has quite the imagination. Her footwear involves her in many adventures. I like the image of Maggie roaring past her uncle on roller skates. This poem is an illustrator's dream. The artwork would be magical. Thanks for the vivid word pictures!
I love the idea of a dog sashaying in a fancy and comfortable set of shoes. I've seen canines frantically attempting to shake off their footwear and they mince about. Lucy and her daily walks needed those protective shoes. The possible illustrations could be so cute. Kudos to your rhymes. Imagine dogs sharing testimonials for shoes. Thanks for this enjoyable read!
This is fantastic! You reached back to not only give advice, but you gifted yourself with validation, encouragement. We all need to hear, or read more of that. Who doesn't question themselves and entertain the doubts? Writing is all about taking a leap and never giving up. By the way, my Mom's name is Carolyn. Thanks for this great read!
Ah, this curmudgeon, this crotchety old man is really a romantic at heart. He blusters, but he has no bite. He is devoted to Marge, so how wretched could he possibly be? Yes, he is likeable. How bad could he be to tolerate all those felines? He has failed to fool two women. I enjoyed the exchange between Marge and the old man re the cats. Neither took offence. Thanks for the read!
Nice twists! Definitely a different take on receiving a memento and an inheritance. This is manipulation and control from beyond the grave. You've described sibling rivalry magnified to a deadly level. Is murder justified if it is a request, a behest? This creates a new meaning for the word 'executor'. Thanks for this chilling read.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nannamom
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 10:24am on Sep 29, 2023 via server web1.
Awards
Badges
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Auto-Reward Items
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
