I can see/hear this as a country song, it just needs a tune to carry it. I believe many will relate to this poem and its words of world weary wisdom. I like the verse about liars and respect that will be broken. True words for sure. If I think your wrong should be you're wrong. I,m sorry since birth should be I'm sorry.
Much can be said and intimated in a brief one-hundred words. This Black Widow's life is all about uncontrollable instincts. She follows what is necessary to survive. Her need for a mate is but a fleeting desire. Brutal. Succinct.
A big grin is plastered on my face after reading this poem. It has a rollicking rhythm and lilt. The rhyming seems effortless and fun. Clickin Addiction. I believe I suffer from this, too. How easily we slip from one subject and/or site to another. It is so effortless and smooth. Jokes and comics are vital components to my online searches as well. Time is never wasted, but pleasantly endured. Thanks for sharing this.
I've worked with seniors. Dementia is a terrible thief. The brain is a complicated organ and memories form so much of what we become. The care proffered to the afflicted is indeed a requiem to love. I like that line. It suggests the power and lasting impression of love.
This was a mesmerizing read from start to finish. Memories seem to have a life of their own in this tale. What a tragic family. Every event seemed inevitable. Death found and claimed each member of this family.
The fondness you have for Megan Rose glimmers brightly in this poem. Your words make it apparent that you cherish this person and your relationship. Megan must truly be special. I like the idea of a tale with a cul-de-sac. I have noticed one wee gaffe and that is in the second to final line. The word a is repeated unnecessarily.
Well the title lives up to the expectation . Very clever that you included the El Corazon cave with the idea of the heart of the matter, a relationship in crisis. This is tightly written and moves at a fast pace. You build to the abandonment. I can see this as an episode for a television program.
You were creative with this piece of writing. It's fun to think from the viewpoint of an inanimate object isn't it? A dumpster keeps a journal ? Why not. You touched upon some of the abuses a garbage bin endures. I noticed a few editing type things. When you describe the homeless fellow you repeat yourself by claiming he smelled. Smelly guy. He smelled really bad. I looked up the word cartonic and all Google could reveal was a type of 3- D puzzle. Is that what you intended? The bum's house was makeshift? I noticed one i .Why did he do that for? Isn't it what did he do that for? I was transformed in some should be transformed into. For all garbage bin should be for all garbage bins.
This reads as the first chapter to a western. I am intrigued and that's a good thing for a reader. What is Walt doing in this dusty town? Does he have intended business there? Has he arranged to meet someone? Is this a stopover? Why did he change his handle?
This reads like an ode to caffeination. Coffee how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Yes, coffee seems to historically be a camping and a cowboy beverage. What a shame to be sparing of its enjoyment.
This reads as the beginning of a much bigger story. The narrator has created something most likely important to his employer. He seems frightened of what his discovery might become. Will he continue to fly under the radar? What will transpire?
First off, I appreciated the rhymes in this poem. They add to the flow. Yes, would it not be lovely to hear our pets voice their thanks and their awareness of our relationships. They can only share body language, but that will have to be enough.
I love Prince and his catchy songs. He was so talented. Great use of his song titles in this piece of poetry. I think he would be honoured to see his titles used so creatively. As I read this I was singing the songs.
Yep, I understand a child salivating all day waiting for ice cream to be made. That anticipation is real. So his Mom have him study should be had him study. Talkie Walkie? I've always known this as walkie talkie, but I know what you mean. Trespassing in his home. Perhaps you could expand upon the ambush by a ninja in the backyard. Most kids I've known would not have forgotten about that encounter.
Thanks for the smile on my face after reading this short story. So, as the aforementioned trained monkey you composed this prose. Well done! I can commiserate/relate. I too have raised three children with dogs. It's not easy to contain them all, and at times it seems that their tricks are limited.
I like that the words do double duty in this poem. What you left behind matters to someone, or to someone my life was. Where will I be known except by you family friends, or family friends last forever. Clever.
This reads as a stream of consciousness memory. You write it as it occurs to you. High school is an environment that creates all sorts of memories, good and bad. You were once immersed in that experience. You feel incomplete. You carry too much self doubt. Ah, the years of unresolved angst.
This is a heartfelt tribute to your felines. The love shines through. The cats have returned that love. They seem like wonderful companions. You have been blessed. Thanks for sharing.
I like the first person narration of this piece. You share as you explore. I can relate to that premise of needing a reason, requiring a set destination, the urge to plan and prepare. Those are strong some times. You persevered with your somewhat spontaneous mission. You did something. You tried. If that isn't indicative of my current state of mind, I don't know what it. I believe you meant what is.
You have created the beginning to a frightening story here. The main character has stumbled upon something scary and she is soon confronted by what she believes to be a zombie. This could be written as a nightmare. Pottering. I believe you mean puttering. I saw my fate as it bent on me. That sentence is awkward. Perhaps try bent towards me.
Well, this became a wedding of catastrophes and thus, memorable. I chose this poem because my name is Sandy and it looked great in a title. I laughed at the image of a sneezing groom wannabe hiding under a chair, and a four-year old ring bearer burying the rings. Such rich and funny pictures.
Ah, to dream, eh? People, for the most part, have free will. That means they are free to think and do what they want. They do not always consider the needs of others. They can be selfish, cruel, destructive. Some people do attempt to aid others. They strive for a better world. Your poem is thought-provoking. If. It's a word of possibilities. There would be no hate. Something to share.
This reads as the beginning of an intriguing story. Emily is a compelling character . There is so much potential to that line at boring times like these her mind wandered. A dwarf and treasure... rich mystery.
The possibility of both delivering and then receiving a fifteen-year old piece of mail causes one to think. It is a unique writing prompt and you delivered. You wove a heartfelt story. That card may have been tardy, but it still evoked loving memories.
If this is indeed the first poem a young man composed it is remarkable. He has expressed so much and maintained a rhyme scheme. He chose a personal subject and I could imagine the intended young lady being flattered.
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