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Review of Whispering Walls  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

The superstitions regarding the number thirteen are many and this story uses those fears to advantage in setting up the reader for the ultimate twist in the tale of Flint Trent.

The reader has no reason to doubt Flint as we are told of his intentions to disprove the superstition and that it can be done by purposely employing the number thirteen in everything he does. The house/museum devoted to the superstition doesn't seem that odd or out of place. However, the uneasiness begins when Flint is asked for his friends' names. I had no idea why this happened at the time it happened, early in the story. It felt eerie but mysterious. Once we know the real story, this makes sense, but is even more eerie and scary when we know why the question was asked.

I was genuinely surprised at the twist in the plot at the end and the realization that this ritual was all part of Flint trying to erase the curse that was now on him forever.

Creepy, spooky and spine-tingling, the reader feels the wrongness of the walls that whisper in the vanishing room. An effective use of the prompt. Great title that fits well into the storyline. An enjoyable read.



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Review of Autumn Ebbing  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."

*Star* First Impressions: From the first line, this poem creates an atmosphere and feeling of Autumn. I love the "crispy morning nose" that immediately tells us what time of year it is. There are so many delicious descriptions of the season using unusual and fresh adjectives, painting lovely pictures with words, involving all the senses and immersing the reader in the changes occurring in nature. I won't mention them all, but I like the leaves "complaining" when trod upon and the grates of flame logging the nights of Autumn. Very clever.

*StarB* Favorite Part: The entire second stanza.
It's excellent in every way, but especially commendable for describing the Autumn sky without using a list of colors, but instead firing the imagination of the reader.


*StarB* Voice/Tone The voice is one of observation and appreciation of the subject.

*StarBl* I really enjoyed this poem and not just because it is about my favorite season. It tackles a subject that has been written about non-stop for the last two months on this site, and yet manages a fresh angle and tone.




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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Jackolantern2* I am reviewing in the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Ghostly Hallows Raid."



TITLE: The story doesn't feel like it's the cat's tale as it's not really about the cat, nor does the cat narrate. It does keep the reader focused on the cat, however, which sets up the twist at the end rather nicely.

PLOT: The plot is well-constructed with good pacing and keeps the reader eager to find out what happens next, never giving away too much and sustaining the suspense throughout.


FAVORITE PART or LINE:"...the words were musty with age, resurrected from some ancient, forgotten tongue."

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:If there were any problems, I was obviously too engrossed in the story to notice.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:Despite my personal doubts that Myrddin will get very far in his quest for Mankind's Better Nature, I found the story just eerie enough to captivate. I love a story with a twist at the end, so the revelation of his true identity and his true relationship to the cat was a satisfying surprise ending. A very enjoyable read.



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Review of Breakfast.  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am reviewing your item "Breakfast.. Please keep in mind that ALL of the views expressed are purely my own, any suggestions are meant to be helpful, but you are entitled to reject any and all of my opinions. I hope you find something helpful or encouraging.

*StarfishP* FIRST IMPRESSIONS: At first, I wondered about where this story was leading us, as the conflict in the plot wasn't immediately apparent. But as the story unfolded, it all became clear. Presentation wise, the grammar is correct, there are no typos and the font and spacing make this easy to read for which I, as a reader, am grateful.

*StarfishB* PLOT: Shweta is a student and her mother is head of the Biology Department. Her mother has a presentation and is nervous so they are leaving for school early. Shweta is more concerned with her empty stomach and missing breakfast than she is her mother's success with her presentation, even though an important person, the Head of the Board, is going to be there.

*StarfishR* CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Shweta is completely believable as a school student who has to deal with all the usual difficulties of being school age as well as having her mother there at the school. We don't get to know the mother as well, but we do see her struggling with her various responsibilites and stresses in life.

*StarfishY* FINAL THOUGHTS The predicament that the mother finds herself in, namely having prepared a lesson on the importance of eating breakfast yet having neglected to give her own child any at all, is amusing and true to life. Perhaps the buildup to the embarrassing part for them both could have been more dramatic. Overall, this was a well-constructed, pleasant read.


KEEP ON WRITING!


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Review of Quilted Memories  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing

TITLE:The meaning of the title becomes clear as we read the story of Lydia and her personal history.

PLOT: The story is a kind of "day in the life" sort of story and so doesn't follow a plot line that requires resolution of a conflict.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:Lydia suffers from Alzheimer's and so getting to know her is difficult, we can't learn much from her inner dialogue. Enter Margie, the caregiver who supplies information that Lydia can't, and also helps Lydia remember. This way we learn about both characters through this device.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: I like the way Margie takes care to name each object for Lydia, it shows that she is trying to keep her from slipping into dementia for as long as possible. I also liked the image of Lydia being afraid of the shadows from the plant on her legs, as it helps the reader see into Lydia's state of mind.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:If there were any problems, I didn't notice them.

SUGGESTIONS:It's a minor point, but in the first sentence, we are told Lydia is in a wheelchair "letting the sun bathe her in warmth". However, it is not clear that Lydia could do anything about her position since Margie moves her and Lydia doesn't move herself, so not sure the word "letting" gives an appropriate picture.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a sympathetic and realistic portrayal of a woman losing her memory and herself to Alzheimer's. Anyone who has witnessed this in their own family or circle will understand how difficult it is to watch the deterioration. The author makes a good attempt at trying to explain what is going on in Lydia's mind and how certain familiar things bring flashes of memory back for short periods. The story leaves Lydia in a moment when she is remembering love, her husband and daughter and so avoids leaving the reader in all the sadness, but gives us a bright spot to concentrate on, even if it is fleeting.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of Reluctant Santa  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title is certainly appropriate and describes the main point of the story - Brad is definitely a reluctant Santa.

PLOT: The plot follows a familiar theme but introduces new problems and conflicts to keep it interesting.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Brad undergoes a change of heart after e becomes Santa but returns to being reluctant once the night's trip is over. We can imagine Brad fairly well from his actions and reactions in the story. We are not told much about Santa, but everyone knows pretty much all they need to know about Santa before they start reading the story, so unless the story was going to recreate Santa in a nonn-traditional way, not a lot of character development is needed.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "Come Dancer, come Prancer, come stupid and wicked ..." This line really tells us how Brad feels about taking over for Santa.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: There are a couple of typos with missing letters or the failure to capitalize "I" as in "i'll" but nothing serious or that interferes with reading or understanding. My reviews are often riddled with typos so I will expect the same courtesy of overlooking them, thanks.

SUGGESTIONS: My only suggestion would be to expand on it a little but there's the possibility it was written to a word count. So I will only say that if you wanted to expand it, there's a good story here as the foundation for a longer piece.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I liked the twist that Santa is brought back to Brad's house and the use of the old pick up truck instead of the sleigh. When the truck disintegrates and Brad gets his teeth knocked out, it leads to a very amusing line for Brad and a laugh at the end of the story. An amusing, light-hearted holiday tale that made for an enjoyable read.

Keep On Writing!

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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came across your story while reading and reviewing so I thought I would take a moment to share a few thoughts on it.

First let me welcome you to WDC. I hope you will enjoy being here.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Your story is about a little girl who gets some dolls as a present but the dolls do something scary and no one believes her. It reminded me of a story about dolls that my daughter and her friend read at a sleepover when she was a little girl and they were very scared by it. For that reason, your story appealed to me.

PLOT: The plot revolves around Brooke's efforts to get others to believe her story about the dolls' heads flying around. Everyone thinks she is either telling lies or that she is crazy. Finally, Brooke arranges for another person to see the dolls lose their heads.

SUGGESTIONS: I would have liked to find out more about the dolls and find out the reason that their heads came off and flew around. I think the story would be great with a strong ending.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS I felt like this was a great start to a story, but it felt like only part of a story. It could be improved with a backstory on the dolls - are they possessed? cursed? Why did the grandmother have them?

Thanks for writing this enjoyable read. I hope to see more from you and maybe even a sequel on the dolls.

KEEP ON WRITING!

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Review of poems  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I came across your poems while I was browsing Read & Review. I wanted to write a few lines to tell you my impressions.

I see you are new to WDC, so let me encourage you to spend some time reading the Writing.com 101 which you can find in the left hand column of your screen under Writing.com Tools. It contains a lot of good info to get you started.

I see you have posted several poems here in one item. I would highly recommend that you post each as a separate item so that they can be reviewed separately. But let me address a couple of the longer poems.

Your poem entitled Love Eternal is quite beautiful in describing a deep devotion and does a good job of conveying the depth of emotion and desire to protect the object of the poet's love. It contains a few spelling errors (or typos, not sure). Fixing these will greatly improve readability.

The poems Rose Thorns and Dagger are similar - they express powerful concepts in vivid imagery but suffer from spelling errors which will make it difficult for the reader to appreciate the poem as they should.

I think your poetry contains strong imagery and could be made more powerful with some editing. This reader felt the emotional impact of the poems. Keep writing and share more of your work. It is best to post each poem individually for the best chance of being read and reviewed.



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Review of I See the Blue  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is very appropriate and tells us that the author sees the importance of the police.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is in stanzas of free verse.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The poem does not have a rhyme scheme but establishes a familiar rhythm with a repeating line - "He has chosen" - and tells us what the person in uniform has chosen. He has chosen to be a friend, to protect,etc., and finally to die.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The poem sets up a different scene in each stanza using descriptive and evocative language to describe the dangers faced by those in blue and the times in which they are there to rescue and protect.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"Watchful warrior, keeper of peace
Head bowed, silent in prayer
Vigilance maintained, honor respected
He has chosen to die for me today
I am safe, protected and shielded"

These are very powerful lines

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a powerful and emotional tribute to those who wear the uniform. There is a true appreciation for those in blue and sincere gratitude for their sacrifice. It was refreshing to read something so unabashedly supportive. But more than that, this poem was well written and moving.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of Bevelled  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I came across this through Read & Review and thought I would write a few lines as a review and to tell you my impressions.

First, I am not sure if the first line is part of the story, or an actual question to the reader or reviewer? If the former, I am not sure how it relates to the story. If the latter, then I will attempt to respond.

The writing is good and the atmosphere is set so well by the descriptions of the scene and the inner narrative of the main character. It is tense and dark.

There's a feeling of being dropped into the middle of a suspenseful story, arriving at a moment when everything that has been building up the tension has suddenly boiled over into this situation, but we don't know why. The detachment the shooter feels towards the victim is compared to the experience of the spider in the bathtub, and we wonder if this is a paid hit job. Certainly, the idea of calling someone on the phone from a shop and asking mundane questions like someone establishing an alibi appears deliberate.

I found the entire piece intriguing and it made me want to know more, to find out the "before and after". I felt like this might be a part of a longer story. If it isn't, it could certainly be expanded into one.

Keep Writing!




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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.
.

*CheckB* TITLE: I like the title as it relates to the last verse of the poem. The poem takes us into the wind and explores its sound.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is a Tri-Jan, a form of poetry I was not familiar with. The author includes a comprehensive explanation of the form and its rhyme scheme.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes in this poem flow melodically and help create the sound that the poem is trying to convey. They are subtle and go from being quiet and landing softly on the ear to surrounding the reader with the sounds of the wind.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery is vivid and evocative.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):"Quietly it fell, nonetheless, Ominous, without sound." This is a perfect description of a silent but steady snowfall. It makes no noise, demands no attention, but is very dangerous.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: At first, I questioned the placement of the explanation of the form, its syllable count, line count and rhyme scheme at the top of the page. But honestly, there are so many rules and counts that this lovely and evocative poem became much more than that.

It became an expert use of language and imagery that it can both accomplish this complicated structure and create a storm that the reader finds himself experiencing on every line.

I think this poetic form was executed brilliantly.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of Rugged  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't expect to run into a limerick that leaves me in awe of the skill it employs, but then I read this limerick.

I don't know who told you that "tugged" is two syllables (news to me) but even if they were totally crazy, they did you a favor because it resulted in this extremely clever limerick. I did read it both ways and it made smile both times.

What can I say? One brilliant idea, no matter what inspired it.



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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi. I ran across your poem in the Read & Review and wanted to write a few lines to tell you my impressions of it.

The poem is one that tells the story of how one relationship broke up. The fault is on the narrator of the poem, who forgot a birthday. The poem tells us that this is not the first time and yet he expected her to be waiting as she always did.

The understanding of the tears that his neglect caused makes the reader feel the grief on both sides of this break-up. But the realization hits him too late and he has hurt her too much.

Overall Impressions: This is a free verse poem that tells a poignant story and doesn't try to excuse the behavior of the partner who forgot the birthday, and is honest about the way people sometimes take each other for granted. A lesson for all to treasure their relationships or risk losing them. I felt this was well done and enjoyed reading this poem.

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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title expresses the poet's feelings about summer, sums up the poem's meaning and is appropriate for the poem.

*CheckR* FORM: This is a structured poem that is written in rhyming quatrains with an a/b/c/b rhyme scheme.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes flow well and add to the lyrical quality of the poem.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery is vivid. The reader gets the sense that the poet really revels in these summer scenes that are described here with such detail and enthusiasm.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): The entire fourth stanza is lovely. I can envision the graceful movements of the weeping willows from the description here.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: The use of the word "doth" in the first stanza seems out of place. "Doth" is the third person singular of the verb "to do", so it is mismatched with a first person subject which should be "I in awe do spy". Besides, the poem has such a nice, melodic flow that it doesn't need the addition of old-fashioned verbs IMHO.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This poem is a celebration of nature and is an appealing mixture of vivid images and a feeling of joy at the sight of them. I enjoyed this poem very much.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of The Good Day  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I came across your short fiction on the Read & Review, and so I am just writing a few lines to tell you how much I enjoyed it.

Based on the ultra short word count of 294, I am guessing this was a flash fiction written to a prompt. I like flash fiction - maybe because I am lazy and don't like to read too much. However, I did like reading your story of "The Good Day.

This story is about a group of friends, and one friend in particular who never fit in with the others because he didn't seem to want to joke around and he didn't smile. On The Good Day, however, this misfit friend pulled off a joke on the narrator that puts a big smile on everyone's face, including himself and the reader. The reader gets a warm feeling at the end knowing that Harold finally managed to show his sense of humor and found his place in the group.

The story is amusing, too. It was an epic prank.

I enjoyed the read.


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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I came across your poem in Read & Review and I wanted to write a few lines to tell you how much I liked it.

Form: The poem is a ghazal. This is a form that I was not previously familiar with, but the explanation provided by the author helped quite a lot. The form is well-suited to the subject. The rhyming second lines flowed logically from the initial un-rhymed line in the couplets. Each stands alone but also perfectly fits with the other couplets to create an effective poem.

Imagery: Lines like "I am dry, do not drain me" are wonderfully descriptive of a relationship that feels controlling.

Overall Impression: Although I am not familiar with the form, it appears to have been executed well, the poem is full of sharp descriptions and emotion. A great read.

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Review of Treadmill  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I came across your poem in Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and decided to review it.

The poem is written as a dialogue. It is constructed in the form of mostly end-rhyme couplets, although on some lines the syllable count may not be even.

The imagery of life as a treadmill is a very effective vehicle for the moral lesson that the poem is designed to convey. The two voices are a workaholic who is trying so hard to keep the treadmill going fast he cant enjoy life, and a wise voice who advises him to slow down, smile and see more to life than the treadmill. The dialogue is used well as a literary device and the rhyming gives it a lyrical feeling.

I thought this poem was an interesting and unique way to get the author's point across. Well done.

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Review of Dignity  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Dignity. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

OVERVIEWThe title reflects the efforts of a dying man to end his life and his plan to die with dignity, a detail we do not learn until the end of the story.


FAVORITE PART or LINE: I like the phone call with the old girlfriend, how the prompt is worked into this conversation and most of all, I love the way Clark and Jackie's phone call echoes the story of the song. He calls her like a ghost from her past, and she seems to be the lost love he now regrets losing, diamonds and rust. She listened to Baez, he listened to Judas Priest and in this tiny snippet of conversation, so much is said about who they were and are now, why they broke up, why he called her before taking that final step. I thought it was a brilliant use of the prompt.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This story doesn't waste a word or a line i creating a full and satisfying story. The dialogue is realistic, the characters ring true (no pun intended) and we know enough of Clark to feel sad about his missed opportunities and his terminal condition. I, for one, am perfectly happy to have Joan Baez as an earworm for the evening. Luckily, it's one of my favorite songs.
I really liked this.

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Outside the Box  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: I think the title is excellent and it's true meaning is revealed at the end of the story.

PLOT: The plot is the strongest part of this story. The twist at the end was truly a surprise to me. I love those twisted tales.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:I don't think we got to know the main character as well as we want to. We know her age but little else.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: My favorite part is the surprise ending. I admit I felt a bit confused until the ending brought it all into perspective.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: There are a few instances where some editing would improve the grammar or the clarity. Choosing the right genres for your story will help you get more readers. Rather than Travel, Nonsense, Other, you should choose categories like Horror, Suspense, Mystery, etc.

SUGGESTIONS: If the writer wanted to do so, the reader would probably enjoy more of the descriptions of 'inside the box' and 'outside the box'.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This story has a twist at the end that is both scary and creepy It is definitely a good example of leading the reader along, then reeling them in. Fans of horror will like this story a lot.

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Slaughtered Lambs  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I just ran across your poem "Slaughtered Lambsin Read & Review and I was struck by its intensity and meaning.

The imagery is disturbing but effective as it contrasts the symbols of peace (Lilies and the statue of Our Lady) with the images of the injured and dead in the pews. The title is poignant, the happy Easter images of the first lines and the lament in the final line, echo the "lambs" in the title. Well done.

The only problem I noticed was spelling of "lilies" as "Lillys", a minor point.

This is not the poem one expects to see from the prompt word "flowers". Though the subject is a dark one, and the incident a tragic one, it is important to bring it to the attention of people everywhere and poetry may reach people that the news doesn't.



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Review of Where I Call Home  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem through the Read & Review. I wanted to review it mostly to tell you how it affected me and to thank you for my moments of nostalgia.

The imagery is lovely and does more than describe scenery, it creates atmosphere. Anyone from a small town or even a tight-knit neighborhood knows how it feels to know everyone and their history.

The small town history that is still part of everyday life gives us the sense of continuity and roots. I actually live near the old train depot (no longer in use) that I remember from when I was a kid.

I thoroughly enjoyed the trip back to my small town childhood and also reading about your small town and your memories. It was a lovely trip, thank you.

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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Why Don’t You Look At Me? . These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title captures our attention immediately, but doesn't reveal all we will find in this short story.

PLOT: The plot is based on a conversation with the mirror (or rather, the image in the mirror) and the dissatisfaction each has with what is seen there. An argument ensues over who is to blame.


READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: I noted no problems with grammar. The use of italics to indicate when the mirror is speaking is effective and clear.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: I think we could all use a little lecture from our mirrors once in a while to remind us that what we see there is a result of the effort we do or do not put into it. I liked the mirror suggesting that getting dressed and working at writing would all be first steps to improving what is seen in the mirror. Great idea for a story!

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Coronavirus  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found your poem through Read & Review.

This poem is a little limerick with a traditional rhyme scheme and set number of lines. Limericks are often amusing and this limerick does not disappoint as it pokes fun at a serious subject and one that is on everyone's mind - the coronavirus.

The rhyming is well done, the lilt of the lines works well and the irreverence is just right for a timely limerick on today's current crisis.

I enjoyed this.

KEEP WRITING!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title makes us think of a scavenging animal, and indeed, the subject of the poem is viewed as a nuisance or pest

*CheckR* FORM: This is a structured poem that is written in quatrains

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes flow well, they are in a/b/a/b throughout

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The images in this poem bring us right down to street level. Even though the narrator of the poem is inside, viewing from a safe and clean distance, we have eyes on the life the street person is living

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): "He was just a blight on the outskirts of my existence" The street person, the scavenger, is a pest but not considered to be important.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: I don't really have any, the imagery seems strong and word choices appropriate.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a poignant portrayal of a person who is homeless, looking through the trash for items of use to him while the homeowner views this homeless person as a pest, like a raccoon, going through the garbage and wishes only for the homeless person to be driven away. The eyes of the title belong to the street person, but it is the eyes of the unfeeling observer that need some adjusting. A poem to make you think.


Keep On Writing!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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50
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest.

I don't often review song lyrics, so bear with me if I get anything wrong.



*CheckB* TITLE: I think the title is different and catchy, so highly likely to be memorable.


*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes are in an a/b/a/b scheme and they flow well. The lines have a natural rhythm so it is easy to imagine these lyrics set to music.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The lyrics, especially the title line, are imaginative and expressive.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): My favorite lines are the refrain containing the title.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a love song in which one lover becomes a famous singer and one gets left behind but wishes for the day they are back together. The sentiments expressed ring true. One could imagine that with a catchy tune, these lyrics would create a popular song


Keep On Writing!

** Image ID #1578663 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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