My Thoughts: Wow! I loved this short story. I know from experience how difficult it is to write a complete, coherent story with a limited amount of words, and you make it seem effortless. You started with a catchy title, added the photograph, which was very imaginative and proceeded to tell an original tale that was both intriguing and captivating. I really like your writing style!
My Suggestions: Despite my best efforts, I found no errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation. I think the story is perfect as is and would only suggest that you write and share more!
Overall: This is an excellent piece of flash fiction. I can easily see why you won with this story!
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This is a good poem to which I'm sure many school-aged children (and college students) can relate. You kept it short and sweet, but the poem was complete and thorough. Also, your descriptive writing made it easy for me to imagine the tired, frustrated students so anxious for a break.
My Suggestions: In the forth line, I believe you meant "One too many..." I don't think the word "insight" fits in the last line. I know what you're trying to say here, but I don't think it's the right word. I would suggest changing it, maybe to "in anticipation".
Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem and look forward to reading more of your work!
My Thoughts: This is a cute poem about the benefits of a cow. I like the way you wrote this piece from the cow's perspective. The rhyme scheme you used in the story was just right. I particularly like the way you set forth all of the benefits cows provide. I also like the way you repeat the first verse near the end. I think that works well for this poem.
My Suggestions: I would suggest omitting the spaces between the words and the exclamation marks. Also, the last lines in the second and fourth verses do not flow well with the rest of the poem; they're too short. I would suggest making those lines longer. For instance, I would change the last line of the second verse to something like "They give us to eat."
Overall: I really enjoyed this lighthearted poem and look forward to reading more of your work.
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This was a sweet story about a memorable day in your life. I could easily imagine Rachelle's initial fear and the triumph she must have felt after successfully riding the cow. Your love of animals shines through in this story, and I enjoyed reading about your adventure.
My Suggestions: In the first sentence, "wisps" is spelled incorrectly. There are several instances, especially in the second paragraph, where you didn't space after a period or comma. I would suggest inserting spaces to provide for an easier read. I would omit the word "When" from the third sentence of the second paragraph, and I would omit the comma in that same sentence. Otherwise, it isn't a complete sentence. In the fourth paragraph, "She had never rode..." should be changed to "She had never ridden..." In that same paragraph, I suggest changing the comma after "one" to a period and beginning a new sentence. Next paragraph, "had just got" should be changed to "had just gotten"
Overall: This is a nice story that would be even better after a quick edit.
My Thoughts: This is a great poem that really makes the reader think. While reading this, I thought of many possibilities: age, Alzheimer's, even just a faulty memory. You adequately convey how even the simplest things can be forgotten and missed. Good job!
My Suggestions: I would suggest changing "your's" to "yours" in the third line as "your's" is not a recognized word. Also, in the description of the poem "loosing" should be changed to "losing".
Overall: I thoroughly enjoyed the read and will definitely check out more of your work!
First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™, and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!
My Thoughts: This is an excellent poem that adequately conveys those feelings of loving someone but not having them. I liked the style in which you wrote this, and you did an excellent job with the rhyme scheme.
My Suggestions: The second line of the last verse didn't work well for me. "I don't want to want you with me" is a bit hard to say and doesn't seem to fit with the rest of this easy to read poem. I would suggest reconsidering that line. Maybe something like "I don't want to need you with me.
Overall: I really enjoyed this lovely poem, and I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community!
First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™, and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!
My Thoughts: This is a great poem! I like the way you began with a dreary scene but ended with a positive note. You had a great rhyme scheme, and the poem was both interesting and well written.
My Suggestions: I would suggest changing "dim-lit" to "dimly lit" in the second line. Also, when reading the poem aloud, the third line of the second verse seems off count to me...I think it needs another syllable to flow well with the rest of the poem. Maybe you could change "quite" to "rather"?
Overall: I really enjoyed reading this poem and can already tell you're going to be a great addition to the WDC community!
First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™, and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!
My Thoughts: Awww, this ended up being such a sad story! It definitely didn't end as I expected. You did a good job of setting the scene and describing the characters in a way that evokes sympathy from the reader. The story captured my interest from the first sentence and held it throughout. It also reminds the reader that not all stories have a happy ending. Good job.
My Suggestions: In the sixth paragraph, "of of him" should be changed to "out of him". In the eighth paragraph, you wrote, "He took his wallet and almost walked out the door. Miles turned..." I think this could be more clearly written. I would suggest something like, "Miles took his wallet and started out the door before turning abruptly..." In the ninth paragraph, I would change "she" to "but" after the word "sitcom". Otherwise, you have a run-on sentence here. In the following sentence, I would omit the comma after "ended". Later in that paragraph, I would change "She waited more" to "She waited longer". I would also change "settle into her" to "settle over her". There is no need to capitalize the word "aspirin". I would change "1:15, she knew" to "At 1:15, she knew."
Overall: This is a good story that would be much better after an edit.
First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™, and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!
My Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this emotion filled poem. I'm sure most of us can relate to the feelings you expressed herein. I like your writing style, and the rhyme scheme you used worked very well.
My Suggestions: I would suggest omitting the hyphen from the second verse and the emoticon from the third verse. In my opinion, they detract from the poem. I would also suggest changing the word "started" to "began" in the last verse to improve the flow of the poem.
Overall: I really enjoyed reading this, and I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to the WDC community!
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: I know how difficult it can be to writing a coherent story with such a stringent word limit. Add to that the fact that you couldn't repeat any word, and you have a tough job on your hands. That being said, you did a great job with this! You told an interesting story and added an unexpected twist at the end. Loved it!
My Suggestions: In the third sentence of the first paragraph, I think the word "more" should be added before "recently" in order for the sentence to make sense. Of course, this would affect your word count of only 100 words. In that regard, I would suggest omitting "not" from the first sentence. In re-reading the story, that word seems most likely one you could do without.
Overall: I really enjoyed this short story and look forward to reading more of your work!
My Thoughts: This is a great idea for a story, and it left me wanting more. I definitely think you should continue this. The story held my interest from beginning to end, and I found myself anxious to find out what would happen to Kalia. Your descriptive writing style allowed me to picture the scene and Kalia's feelings as I read. Good job!
My Suggestions: Although I have never seen the word used before, I think the word in the first sentence should be spelled "graffitied". In the last sentence of that paragraph, "its" is spelled incorrectly since it's not a contraction for "it is". In the fourth sentence of the second paragraph, I would insert commas after "piqued" and "pace". In the sixth sentence, I would insert a comma after "Third Avenue." I suggest inserting a comma after "close" in the first sentence of the third paragraph. I would insert a comma after "shock" in the second sentence of the last paragraph.
Overall: I really enjoyed this story, and I look forward to its continuation!
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This is an excellent poem. It is very well written and sensual. I like your writing style, and you adequately set the mood for this poem. I like your use of italics that the beginning and the end.
My Suggestions: Despite my best efforts, I could find no errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation.
Overall: I really enjoyed the read and look forward to checking out more of your work!
My Thoughts: This is a well-written thought provoking poem about one's tendency to seek meaning in life when meaning cannot often be found. I like the style in which you wrote this, starting with the negative and ending on a positive note.
My Suggestions: "Disdain" is spelled incorrectly in the second verse. Also, there is a space before the first word the poem that I would suggest omitting.
Overall: I thoroughly enjoyed this lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This is a lovely poem in which you tell how the beauties of nature help you to forget your worries and concerns. I especially like the way you concentrated more on your love of nature than on the harsh realities of the world.
My Suggestions: In the fourth line, I would suggest changing "tomato's" to "tomatoes", omitting the comma and using a lowercase 'm' in the word "make". In the seventh line, there should be a space between the comma and the word "you". Also, I would suggest changing the word "depressional" in the description of the poem as it is not a recognized word.
Overall: I enjoyed the read and look forward to checking out more of your work!
My Thoughts: This is a great poem about the battle of good and evil. You did a good job at setting the scene, and you wrote a perfect ending. I like the way you emphasized the ease of which good was able to triumph over evil.
My Suggestions: "Lightning" is spelled incorrectly in the second line. I would suggest adding punctuation (periods) in this poem to make it read more fluidly.
Overall: You chose a very interesting topic and wrote an excellent poem.
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This is a good poem about love lost and then found again. You adequately describe the feelings of uncertainty, the questions and fears one would have. I like the way you referenced a psychic in the story and your hesitancy, yet desire, to believe.
My Suggestions: I would suggest inserting a comma after "time" in the first sentence. Toward the end, "psychic" is spelled incorrectly.
Overall: I enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more of your work.
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: I really enjoyed this story. The twist at the end was a total surprise, and I love stories with a twist! This one was perfect in that regard. I like your writing style and your sensual descriptions leading up to the twist. In the end, you were able to completely change the mood of the story. Excellent job!
My Suggestions: I would suggest changing "ran her gently fingers" to "gently ran her fingers". "ecstasy" is spelled incorrectly. I would insert a comma after "young" in the second paragraph. The first sentence of paragraph four is a run-on sentence. I would suggest inserting a period after "Sarah" and beginning a new sentence there. I would insert "I" at the beginning of the last sentence of the fifth paragraph to avoid the sentence fragment you have now.
Overall: This is a great story that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more of your work!
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: This is my favorite contest on the site! I love writing flash fiction, and when I haven't written anything for some time, your creative prompts are just what I need to inspire me. Then, after the contest is over for the day, I always have the option of expanding the piece into a longer work.
My Suggestions: Let me be the winner every time I enter? On a serious note, I would only suggest that you continue to run this most excellent contest!
My Thoughts: This is definitely an original idea for a story. I found it quite interesting and comical. You added a lot of zany descriptions, which made the story fun to read. I could easily imagine the main character working up a sweat in his kitchen. I like your comedic writing style!
My Suggestions: In the fourth sentence, I would suggest inserting a comma after "house". "began" is spelled incorrectly in this sentence. A few sentences later, "vial" is spelled incorrectly. "peanut butter" should be two words. "read to eat" should be "ready to eat". In the fifth from last sentence, "the" should be capitalized. "centimeter" is spelled incorrectly.
Overall: This was a good story that could be even better after a quick edit.
My Thoughts: haha I loved this story. You used the prompts very well and came up with a sweet love story that turned into a comedy. I like your descriptive writing style. I especially liked the line "air so soft it seemed to caress your skin". I could almost feel the soft breeze blowing when I read this. Good job!
My Suggestions: I would suggest inserting a comma after "beauty" in the first sentence and after "importantly" in the second sentence. The word "she" should be inserted before "chased" in the second paragraph. I would suggest inserting a comma after "chicken out" in the third paragraph and after "months" in that same paragraph. In the next paragraph, I would suggest changing the semicolon to a colon. In the next-to-last paragraph, I would insert a comma after "perfect."
Overall: This was a great story that would be even better after a quick edit.
My Thoughts: This is a nice poem that sets forth feelings that I'm sure most of us could relate to you at one time or another. You described those feelings of frustration and wonder quite well. I also like the style of this poem and the rhyme scheme.
My Suggestions: In the second line, "cant" should be "can't". Second verse, third line, "Theres" should be "There's". In the fifth verse, "forgot" should "forgotten". Every verse of the poem rhymes except for verse seven. In that verse, it appears as though you are trying to rhyme "eyes" with "smile" and I don't think it works. I would suggest reconsidering that verse.
Overall: I enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more of your work.
First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™, and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!
My Thoughts and Suggestions: You have a great story idea here, and I would like to see you expand upon it. I would also like to see you present more background information. You tell the story in a bit of a rushed way. Give a better introduction of her parents. What kind of relationship does she have with them? You concentrated a lot on her hair, but what about the rest of her life? Why isn't she in school? What kind of social life does she have, etc. Just some food for thought.
Your first two sentences are in past tense. You move to present tense with the next two, then back to past, and so on. I would suggest that you stick with one or the other. Also, you mentioned daiquiris in the story. I believe, because of that, you would need to change the rating from "E" to "ASR". I would also suggest that you divide the story into paragraphs to provide for an easier read.
Overall: I like your idea here and would like to see you expand upon it!
My Thoughts: I liked your idea here, and I think you did a good job conveying fear and anxiety with your words. The idea is original and interesting, and your style and word choice leaves the reader anxious to find out what's going to happen. I think you ended the poem perfectly.
My Suggestions: I think you used the ellipsis a bit too much in the fourth and sixth verses. It reduced the poem's fluidity a bit for me. I would suggest removing them after "know" and "that" in the fourth verse and removing them entirely from the sixth verse. I would insert a question mark after "that" in the third line of the poem. "staring" is spelled incorrectly in the fifth line.
Overall: I really enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing.
First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™, and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: I enjoyed taking this little trip with you! This is a somewhat original idea for a poem, and the words and phrases you used worked perfectly with the subject matter. I like the way you ended each verse, and I like your writing style in general.
My Suggestions: "off" is spelled incorrectly in the first line. In the third verse, I don't think the comma is needed after "air." In the fourth verse, I would change "when ever" to "whenever" and capitalize "December". Also, in your description of the poem, "threw" is spelled incorrectly.
Overall: I liked your poem, and I look forward to reading more!
My Thoughts: This is a very interesting story. You did a great job of describing the fear this man instilled in the storyteller. I loved the phrase "gray matter grave"! You chose a good title and had a sufficient amount of character description and conflict. The ending was perfect, and I was glad to see the choice made. This piece could be a real eyeopener for women who have been in an abusive situation and the abuser wants to become "friends" later. Good job!
My Suggestions: I would change "flooding" to "flooded" in the first paragraph, because the rest of the story is told in past tense. I would suggest changing the next sentence to "Hurt was an understatement." to make it read more fluidly. I would set "more like run" off with commas in the next sentence and also change the period to a question mark since you're asking a question there. I would change "face book" to "Facebook". Next paragraph, I would suggest changing "vile" to "bile". Third paragraph, first sentence, I would insert a comma after "outside". I would suggest you check the remaining sentences in that paragraph for completeness as they are all sentence fragments lacking either subjects or verbs. In the fifth paragraph, I would insert "from" after "table". This is another paragraph with a lot of sentence fragments. In the sixth paragraph, I would change "slamming" to "slammed" to avoid another sentence fragment. Last sentence of that paragraph, I would change "long" to "longer". The first sentence of the seventh paragraph is another sentence fragment as it has no subject. Maybe you could insert "We were" at the beginning? Next paragraph, "cursor" is spelled incorrectly.
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On a serious note, I would only suggest that you continue to run this most excellent contest!