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326
326
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I really enjoyed reading this short piece. I know from experience how difficult it can be to write a complete and coherent story using a limited number of words, and you pulled it off effortlessly. The story was original, and I loved the story behind the mysterious box. You have a magnificent storytelling ability, adding just the amount of humor and sarcasm. Great job!

My Suggestions: In the third paragraph, I would insert a comma after "Then". The first word of the fifth paragraph should be "And" instead of "An". I would set "in my condition" off with commas in the seventh paragraph. In the ninth paragraph, I would insert a comma between "yard" and "too".

Overall: Great story! I look forward to reading more of your work.

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327
327
Review of Wondering  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You adequately conveyed the feelings of being confused about your life. I'm sure many people will be able to relate to this poem. I don't think there are many people who wouldn't want to live the "Sweet Life". Good job in choosing an interesting topic and describing it in great detail!

My Suggestions: In the first line, "I don't know where am I." should be "I don't know where I am." In the third line, I would change "other" to "next" to make the poem read more fluidly. In the eighth line, "away" should be "a way". In the following line, "dose" should be "does". In the following line, "away" should be "away". In the last line, I would insert "is" between "that" and "how". Also, the poem should end with a question mark, because you're not asking a question in the end.

Overall: This is a good poem that would be much better after a quick edit.

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


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328
328
Review of The Web  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I really liked this piece, and I think it would make a great longer story. The character is very interesting, and the plot is original. I like the way you told the story in first person narrative. The action-filled scene has left me wondering just who is this character, and what's going to happen to him. Now, you're going to have to write more to answer those question. *Wink*

My Suggestions: In the first sentence, I would omit the comma after "door" and change "to the Winking" to "of the Winking" in that sentence. In the last sentence of that paragraph, a comma should be inserted after "right". In the third paragraph, I would change the numbers to words. "Three shots and three men". In the fifth paragraph, the period after "who did they work for should be changed to a question mark. In the first sentence of the fifth paragraph, "come" should be changed to "came" since the rest of the story is told in past tense.

Overall: I really enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to reading a continuation of this fascinating story! Good job!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
329
329
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Pencil* Hi, I'm OOT™ . As a fellow contestant in the "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED, I am honored to review your work.*Pencil*

*ExclaimB* My Thoughts: I loved this poem! This is my favorite entry of yours thus far in the contest. You painted the perfect picture of a serene paradise, even adding vivid description above and beyond the photograph. I could almost feel the sunlight caressing my skin and the gentle breeze blowing my hair. The stark contract of the second verse was an excellent touch. Again, I loved it!

*ExclaimR* My Suggestions: I suggest that you consider changing the title. While it doesn't take from the quality of the poem, I would like the last verse to come as a total surprise to the reader. As it is now, the word "Illusion" in the title sort of gives it away. Also, I would change "day dream" to "daydream" and "snow flakes" to "snowflakes" in the last verse.

*ExclaimV* Overall: Thank you for sharing this lovely poem. The first verse put me in a much better mood. (We won't mention the mood of the second verse). *Wink*

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
330
330
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I really enjoyed this piece! You made a great list of life's simple pleasures that are too often overlooked. I like the simplicity of the piece. Although I'd have to respectfully disagree with you on green olives (I hate them!), I loved the lists you made.

My Suggestions: I noticed a few spelling errors in the piece. In the third line, "recipe" is spelled incorrectly. In the fourth line, "mozzarella" is spelled incorrectly.

Overall: Thank you for enjoying this list of the simple pleasures in life. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
331
331
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Pencil* Hi, I'm OOT™ . As a fellow contestant in the "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED, I am honored to review your work.*Pencil*

*ExclaimB* My Thoughts: This is a terrific poem. You made excellent use of the prompt. Your descriptive writing made it easy for me to see the scene you were describing without even looking at the picture. Great use of adjectives to describe the scene! This poem almost made me want to take a nap and experience the pleasant dreams described. Great job!

*ExclaimR* My Suggestions: I would omit some of the commas. Specifically, I would omit the ones between "aqua" and "blue", between "white" and "cotton" and between "peppermint" and "green" to make the poem flow more fluidly. Other than that, I see no mechanical, grammatical or typographical errors.

*ExclaimV* Overall: Again, great use of the prompt. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
332
332
Review of The Virus  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this short story, and I think it would make a great book. You have created a great plot and a believable, likable character. You provided a great deal of detail that helped me to adequately imagine the scene as you described. Good job!

My Suggestions: In the second sentence, I would suggest changing "I love all so much" to either "I loved it all so much" or "I loved all of it so much". In that same sentence, I would change "I'm gonna have to" to "I would have to" since the rest of the story is told in past tense. In the second paragraph, I would change "everyone's asleep" to "everyone was asleep" for that same reason. In the last sentence of that paragraph, I would change "and a pen" to "and got a pen". In the letter, "that you all once known" should be "that you all once knew". In the last paragraph, "piece" is spelled incorrectly.

Overall: This is a good piece that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
333
333
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This poem is a lovely tribute to your significant other. You packed a lot of emotion into a relatively short piece. Your love of this person is obvious, and I'm sure that most readers can relate to having those feelings for someone. You did a great job conveying those feelings!

My Suggestions: In the first verse, "butterflies" is spelled incorrectly. In the second verse, "more then you" should be "more than you". In the third verse, "When I first saw you I known..." should be "When I first saw you, I knew..." Also, since the first two verses began "When I first saw you...", I would suggest rearranging the third verse to read that way as well.

Overall: This is a good poem that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
334
334
Review of The Hunter  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: You have an interesting idea for a longer story here. I like the setting you chose for the story, and I could easily imagine the robber being chased by the hunter as you described. You have created two interesting characters, both "bad guys", and it would be interesting to see which one would prevail in that instance.

My Suggestions: I would omit "slowly walking" from the first sentence, because your description that he "creeps" allows the reader to infer that he was walking slowly. In the third sentence, "guardians" is spelled incorrectly. In the next sentence, "robbers" should be "robber's". Next sentence, I would omit the comma and change "echoing" to "echoes". I am unsure of what you are trying to say a few sentences later with "instants changing". I think that, in the context of the rest of the sentence, "and the robber was unable to tell" would work better here. In the next sentence, "cowboys" should be "cowboy's". Toward the end of the story, you say "A growl sounded from one of them" after just mentioning eyes. Are you saying that a growl sounded from his eyes? In the last few sentences, "sheriffs" should be "sheriff's" and "California" should be capitalized. Also, at the end of the story, you switch from present tense to past tense. I would suggest changing it to present tense to keep it fluid with the rest of the story. Finally, I would suggest separating the story into different paragraphs to make it an easier read.

Overall: This was a good piece that would be much better after a thorough edit.

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


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335
Review of Mia Lasagna  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a cute little poem that adequately conveys the feelings of a lasagna lover. Even though the poem was very brief, your vivid descriptions made it easy to tell what you were referring to, even if I had not seen the title. Good job!

My Suggestions: I think the following suggestions would make the poem a more fluid read: Don't capitalize the first word of each line. Doing so made me expect there to be a break with each capital letter, but the poem is actually one long sentence. This would be much clearer without the capitalization. I would also suggest adding commas in the poem. Particularly, I would insert a comma after "window" in the second line, after "brown" in the fifth line.

Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem, even though it made me hungry. *Laugh*

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


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336
Review of I'll cry  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this emotional poem. I'm sure that many of us can relate to the feeling that we'll never be able to stop crying until saved by the one we love. I think your repetition of the title worked well in this piece, stressing the importance of getting what you wanted. Good job.

My Suggestions: First of all, I found that the seventh line was a bit off, because you changed "I'll cry" to "I will cry" in that line, and that made the flow of the poem a little off for me. In the eleventh line, "until" is spelled incorrectly. You used the word "weak" at the end of the eleventh line and at the beginning of the twelfth line. I would suggest omitting it in the twelfth line. In the thirteenth line, "because" and "now" are spelled incorrectly. In the fifteenth line, "until" is spelled incorrectly.

Overall: This is a good poem that would be even better after a quick edit.

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
337
337
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts and Suggestions: I found it difficult to fully understand and appreciate this piece because of the grammatical, mechanical and typographical errors. First of all, you should insert a space after every comma in this piece. Next, I will go into detail of the errors I saw in the first paragraph to give you an idea of what I mean. In the first sentence, "computer" should be "computers" and "has" should be "have". Also, in this sentence, you refer to "its benefits". It is unclear to me what "its" refers to. I would omit "to say" in the second sentence. Since you're referring to nature AND fullness in this sentence, "is" should be "are". Also in that sentence, "and" is spelled incorrectly. In the third sentence, "computer" should be "computers". Also in this sentence "adventurous" is spelled in correctly. Finally, I think "easy living" would fit better than "easy going" in this sentence.

Overall: This is a great topic, and your essay would be much more informative and easy to read after a thorough edit.

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
338
338
Review of Misunderstood  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a great spin on the Friday the 13th movies. The story was very interesting, and the first person narration worked perfectly for it. The character was believable, and I actually started to feel empathy for him. The ending took me by total surprise. The thought of those movies never crossed my mind as I read, but after the revelation, I was wondering why they hadn't. Good job!

My Suggestions: A comma should be inserted after "Initially" in the first sentence of the second paragraph. In the second sentence of that paragraph, "overtime" should be changed to "over time". In the following sentence, a comma should be inserted after "first". In the third sentence of the third paragraph, the word "that" should be inserted between "in" and "there". In the eighth paragraph, fourth sentence, "hide" should be "hid" since the rest of the story is told in past tense.

Overall: I really enjoyed this short story and and look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
339
339
Review of The Accident  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this depressing story. It adequately depicts how many lives can change in a matter of seconds following one uninformed decision. I like the topic you chose for the story as I think it is an issue that needs to be addressed. I also like the tragic way you ended the story. It was an unexpected twist.

My Suggestions: First of all, I would suggest changing the rating of this story from "E", because there's a curse word in it and because of subject matter. Half way through the story, the comma after "strong shots" should be omitted. I would also suggest that you 'show' rather than just 'tell' the story. Reveal more of the character's emotions. Don't just tell that he hated something. Show it with your words. Also, this would be such a good story to expand upon and tell the narrator's feelings, maybe describe the accident in greater detail as well as his mental and emotional decline following the accident.

Overall: I enjoyed this read and hope you decide to expand it!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
340
340
Review of Darkness  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this haunting story. You adequately described the scene and created the theme of darkness and solitude. It was easy to imagine the scene and the feelings as described them. The last part took me by surprise, because I hadn't guessed that the narrator was a vampire. Good job!

My Suggestions: A comma should be inserted after "night" in the first sentence. "see" is spelled incorrectly a few sentences later. "destined" is spelled incorrectly in the first sentence of the second paragraph. In the second sentence of that paragraph, a comma should be inserted after "surprise". "a lone" should be "alone" in the second paragraph and also in the story's description. In the last paragraph, "stocked" should be "stalked". The second sentence of the last paragraph should be combined with the third sentence by change the period to a comma. A few sentences later, a comma should be inserted after "again".

Overall: This was a good story and would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
341
341
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I think there are legitimately people out there would would ask such a question. In fact, I have met them. This was an interesting story. I always enjoy stories about humorous things that take place at work, and this was a good one. You gave sufficient background to inform the reader of what your job entails and then told about a specific comical situation that happened. Even though the piece was short, you gave adequate character description, informing the reader of the teasing and joking between coworkers. I enjoyed it.

My Suggestions: I would omit the comma in the second sentence. In the third sentence, I would change "computers" to "computer" since you're talking about each person's computer. I would insert a comma after "table" in the last sentence of the first paragraph.

I believe the following sentence: "The technical support staff had strict instructions to not bother us unless the customer calling in with the problem was so technical that there was no other choice." would be easier to understand if you said, "The technical support staff had strict instructions not to bother us unless the problem the customer was calling in with was so technical, there was no other choice."

I would omit the commas in the first and second sentences of the fourth paragraph. I would insert a comma after "day" in the first sentence of the next-to-last paragraph.


Overall: Thank you for sharing this humorous story. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


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342
Review of From Zero to Hero  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a lovely, comical story of your adventures with your canine friend. The story was interesting, and I was anxious to see if she would be rescued. I particularly like the way the story ended with you giving more information on her particular breed to the reader. Your love for your four legged friend is obvious. *Heart*

My Suggestions: In the first sentence, you say "Winter sent its icy tentacles out early this winter..." I would suggest changing the second instance of "winter" to "year" to avoid repetition. I would omit the comma after "let in" in that sentence. In the second sentence, I would omit the comma after "settled". I would omit the comma after "heat" in the following sentence. In the third paragraph, "disoriented" is spelled incorrectly. Also, "I know the water is icy" should be changed to "I knew the water was icy" since the rest of the story is told in past tense. In the third paragraph, "Relieved" is spelled incorrectly. I would also insert a comma after the word. The second sentence of the last paragraph is a sentence fragment. I would suggest incorporating it into the previous sentence to avoid this.

Overall: This was a very good read that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
343
343
Review of Rose  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a terrific start to a story! The character is believable, and you chose a good setting for the beginning of the story. The story immediately captured my interest, and this is written in one of my favorite genres. This blurb has me anxious to see why Greg is having so many problems with the women in his life! I like your descriptive writing style, and I was able imagine the scene that you described. Great job!

My Suggestions: In the second paragraph, "corner" is spelled incorrectly. In the second sentence of that paragraph, when you're describing the liquid, I would put more emphasis on why he scowled. Perhaps you could describe it as "the burning liquid". In the fourth paragraph, "regretted" is spelled incorrectly. Also, in the story's description, you omitted the word "with" between "people" and "respect".

Overall: I enjoyed this little peek into the life of Greg Holiday, and I look forward to reading the completed story!

** Image ID #1594066 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
344
344
Review of Paging Theodore.  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I needed a good laugh tonight, and you provided just that. VERY creative use of the prompt! I know how difficult it can be to tell a complete, coherent story in 300 words or less, and you made it seem effortless. The fast paced story captured my interest right away, and I was completely surprised by the ending and the way the prompt was used. Excellent job!

My Suggestions: The period after the second sentence should be changed to a question mark since it's asking a question. I would insert a comma after "station" in the third paragraph. In that same sentence, "aisles" is spelled incorrectly. In the next-to-last paragraph, since it's pretty obvious that Michael is the one talking, I would change the sentence to "Michael then realized..." I would also insert a space between the two sentences in that paragraph.

Overall: I really enjoyed reading this humorous story, and I look forward to reading more of your work!

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
345
345
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I loved this sweet little story! I think it would be perfect for young children. You tell a simple, easy to read tale about the budding friendship between a little duck and a kitten after the kitten helped the duck in its time of need. The ending was perfect when the friends were reunited. Terrific job!

My Suggestions: I suggest changing the comma after "Shyann" to a period in the first sentence and starting a new sentence with "She was a sweet..." In the next sentence, I would insert a comma after "day". In the second paragraph, first sentence, I would insert a comma after "barn". I think you use "the kitten" too much in the last paragraph. I would suggest giving the kitten a name in a previous part of the story so you could refer to it by name sometimes.

Overall: This was an excellent children's story that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more!

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
346
346
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a thought provoking piece in which you make some VERY good points. I don't know that anyone could read this and not agree with at least some of what you said. You chose an interesting topic and gave thorough opinions on the same with valid points to back them up. Great job!

My Suggestions: The second sentence of the second paragraph should end with a question mark instead of a period. Later in that sentence, I would set "after some time" off with commas. In the last sentence of that paragraph, "wrong and do so" should be "wrong to do so". In the third paragraph, second sentence, I would insert a comma after "likely". In the next sentence, I would insert a comma after "1970's". In the first sentence of the last paragraph, the word "of" should be omitted. I would set "though" off with commas in the next sentence, and I would set "in matters personal and private" off with commas in the next sentence.

Overall: I enjoyed reading about your opinion on this topic, and I look forward to checking out more of your work!

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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347
Review of Deer hunter  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is an interesting story. Your descriptive writing style made me hold my breath in anticipation of what would happen with the deer. You chose an interesting topic and held interest of the reader throughout. I am not a hunter, but you helped me to see why hunters find killing a deer so rewarding. I particularly like the way you ended the story on a humorous note. Good job!

My Suggestions: In the first sentence, "It's" should be "Its" since you're not trying to say "It is". The second sentence is a sentence fragment. I would suggest adding a verb to make this a complete sentence. I would omit the comma after "felt" in the third sentence and change "it's" to "its" for the same reason previously stated. The last sentence of the first paragraph is also a sentence fragment. I would suggest incorporating it into the previous sentence. I would omit the semicolon in the second paragraph. In the second sentence of that paragraph, I would change "every one" to "everyone" and change "no ones" to "no one's" or "no one has" in that sentence. I would also suggest writing "male stag" with no capitalization, since it isn't a proper noun.

Overall: This is a good story that would be much better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more of your work!

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
348
348
Review of Snow Day  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: I loved this little humorous poem. You adequately described what would be considered a disastrous day for a child. It took me back to the days when a snow day off school seemed to make everything better. I particularly like the way you made the last word of every line rhyme. Great job!

My Suggestions: Despite my best efforts, the only suggestion I can come up with is to consider omitting the word "day" from the second line. The rest of the poem makes it obvious that you are talking about one particular day, and I think its use in that line is superfluous. I saw no grammatical, mechanical or typographic errors.

Overall: Terrific poem! I look forward to reading more of your work.

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
349
349
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This was short and to the point, but it leaves a lasting impression. All too often, people are so caught up in their worries and complaints, they forget to count their blessings. This piece reminds them to do so and urges them not to take their precious lives for granted. I particularly like your statement "someone who can only see the shadows casted by all the blessings..." Great job!

My Suggestions: In the second sentence, "just" is spelled incorrectly and "overconfident" is one word. Also, "guaranteed" is spelled incorrectly in that sentence. In the third sentence, "I" should be capitalized, and I would set "just like everyone else" off with commas. In the next sentence, I would change "Everyday" to "Every day". In the next sentence, "Its so sad..." should be "It's so sad..."

Overall: This is a good piece that would be even better after a quick edit. I look forward to reading more of your work!

For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
350
350
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Stary*I'm participating in "Invalid Item with "The Talent Pond*Stary*


I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.

My Thoughts: This is a sweet little poem about a bird. Your descriptive writing made it easy to picture the bird as I was reading. The underlying story tells a tale of a dreary day made a little brighter by the colorful bird's song even though the tune is sad. The poem could be interpreted in a number of ways according to the mood of the reader. Great job!

My Suggestions: I am confused as to why the first and third lines rhyme in the first line of the poem, but throughout the rest of the poem, the second and fourth lines rhyme. I would suggest either changing it for fluidity or specifying at the end of the poem what type it is. In the fourth line, I would change "gloomiest" to "gloomy" to make the poem read more fluidly. In the last line of the poem, "birds" should be "bird's" since you're attempting to show possession. Likewise, in the title of the poem, "birds" should be "bird's".

Overall: This was a lovely poem, and I enjoyed the read. Thanks for listing it on the review request page!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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