First of all, happy account anniversary! I'm OOT™ , and I'm honored to review your work.
My Thoughts: I chose this piece to review, because I love the dark genre, and the fact that it's a true story makes it even better. It sounds as though you have been through some terrifying events! While I like the thought of a good ghost story, I'm sure it loses its appeal when it happens to you! From the sound of things, you have handled everything much better than I believe I could.
This was a good piece, but I think you could make it so much better if you elaborated on how each episode made you feel. As it is right now, you quickly go through numerous scenarios, just touching on paranormal things that you have experienced, and moving right on to the next without really giving the reader time to experience and process the last. I wanted to feel frightened or spooked, but the piece moved so quickly, I didn't have sufficient time to process each scenario.
I'd love to see you expand this piece to focus more on each particular event. Seeing the man in the trench coat changed your life forever. You established that. But why? How? Yes, I understand how something like that could affect you, but I didn't get that understanding while reading the piece. Were you horrified? Did it cause nightmares? I believe that saying something changed your life forever requires more follow-up.
I would also like to hear more about the incidents causing you to want to hurt people. That revelation has so much potential, but you just let it go at that. Who did you want to hurt? Did you actually plan what you would do to them? And how would sleeping downstairs curb these wicked desires? Did the thoughts only occur when you were in that particular bed?
My Suggestions: I noticed a lot of instances where commas were omitted. Some examples:
"For as long as I can remember, I have seen..."
"we moved into my dad's house, and I was scared"
"I pointed him out, but mom..."
"Hop through time, and I am a teenager..."
"As a young adult, dad buys me..."
I stumbled over this sentence: "She took my hand and we walked through the house showing me it was safe." I think it would read better as "She took my hand and walked with me through the house to show me it was safe."
"As we walked into the back room which was huge and turned into my dad's office/ computer room/ sitting area/ moms sewing corner." is a really long sentence, but it is incomplete as it lacks a verb. Also, "moms sewing corner" should be "mom's sewing corner. I noticed a few other instances were apostrophe's should be inserted to properly show possession or for contractions. For example, "nothing's there." "She's passed out." "Nothing's in the house."
"and letting my arm or leg hanging off the bed..."
When you're telling what the friend said about you being sensitive to spirits, the words said should be in quotation marks.
Since you're telling the story in past tense, "the man in the hat makes made another appearance..."
This sentence is a run-on sentence: "I was going to the store late at night, walking to my car it was like I was outside of my body looking at the house." It could be remedied by ending the sentence with "car" and starting a new sentence with "It was like..."
"Things moving on their own..."
In the last few paragraphs, it seems as though you were trying to get everything out in a hurry, so you just sort of jumbled your thoughts. There were incomplete sentences and thoughts. I suggest expanding on these paragraphs a bit to make them more clearer and grammatically correct. I also believe an expansion and revisions would result in the piece having a greater impact on the reader.
Overall: Thank you for sharing this haunted little rant. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I look forward to visiting your port again soon. Should you decide to expand this piece, I would love to read the updated version. I hope you had a wonderful 1st WDC anniversary!