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I like the first story. I didn't think it was scary. It was more of a mystery. The characters were well done. The plot of second story was revealed in parts as it went along, which is a good way to keep the reader's interest. The character was well done. I was expecting more at the end of the story. Both stories had grammatical errors. Suggestions: at the end of the second story, the character is telling the action. It might help to show what is happening in that the ghost speaks, the character reacts, and so forth.
laughing, very creative, very funny, sounds like the start of a longer story. So far as story construction goes: no complaints and no suggestions. Good work
This is very good. I enjoy your rhythm and rhyme. I suggest you take a look at punctuation. I believe it helps the reader to find the natural flow of the poem. I enjoyed the ending of the poem. Keep writing.
I think you need to take out your pen, again
Because putting it away would be a sin.
I enjoy your rhythm and your rhyme,
And I hope you will write all the time..
Please post more poetry, you have that knack,
And I promise people will come, and I'll be back.
Your story idea is developed well. Your characters tell the story for you and are well developed. Your use of dialogue is well done. For internal dialogue, you might consider the use of italics. Well done
At the end of the story, I wanted more, more, more. The plot, characters, and dialogue are good. I saw two mistakes. 2nd para going (to) the - 3rd para from bottom both (are) empires - are = our.
I like your writing style. It pulls the reader into the action. Writing dialect is not easy, but it was well done. The dialogue is good and the characters are developed well. I do not have a preference in style; both are good. Good work here.
I like your concept. The first verse and chorus are the best of this poem. Here the rhythm and the rhyme work well together. The other verses the rhythm is there, and the rhyme is spotty. I recognize the difficulty of working in the rhyme. I was able to sing to the tune of Jingle Bells throughout the poem so good work on that.
Your writing style is easy to read. I enjoyed your story. It is interesting and held my attention. Your character needs some more development. You have a few typos. Good story.
I found this to be an interesting story. Your style is easy to read. The story's view from present to past and back was well done. This is a well written story.
Your idea of contrasting what can found against what cannot be found is a good one. I see only minor grammatical errors so I commend you on that. I have a suggestion.
Avoid the repetition of the same thing over and over, unless it is needed. As an example, for the sentence below, the bold type can be deleted.
These things that do exist will always be found,they have to be found. It's not possible for them not to be found.
I like the rhythm of your poem. This is very good for free verse. I like your concept and its development. Your word choice is excellent: thorny, dry, crumbling, dust, faded, drop, stalk, dead, cruel, vain, tears, urn, evaporating. Words make or break a poem, you have hit the ball out of the park. Excellent! Paul
Please ignore any review of less than Five Stars. The preface pulls the reader into the story, giving a need for more. The descriptive narrative is excellent. The imagery is spot on. The description of the character is well done. The grammar is impeccable. This is one of the best written stories I have read on this site. Well done!
I like the idea that you have developed here. This is well written and evokes memories of times long forgotten. I commend you for this story it is well done. Paul
Laughing. This is an excellent story. I enjoy the dialogue which is very well done. Your writing style is very inviting, pulling the reader into the story as well as into the characters. Excellent work here and enjoyable. Paul
Wow! What can I say. The story grabs hold of the reader and pulls him into the action. The characters are well-written. The action is told by the characters. The story does not have a surprise ending; however, the craft of the story makes it a delightful ride. The dialogue is well done. There are a few grammatical errors, but these do not detract from this excellent story. Well done. Paul
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