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126
126
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: creative idea with a lot of room to grow; good drama; this story is one that definitely should continue.

Opening: from the first paragraph, the reader is hooked, and their interest is held until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: descriptive writing is strong, bringing life to characters as well as the scenes.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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127
127
Review of The Silent Night  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: this story grabs the reader, like the shark, and pulls them into the story. They are held there enthralled by what is happening. Lots of chills and scary stuff. The ending is very well done.

Opening: the characters and the situation hook the reader from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing brings the situation to life.

Characters: good interaction with the characters.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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128
128
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: this is a creepy one; good drama mixed with dark tones makes for a good story.

Opening: the main character and the situation pull the reader into the story from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; good use of first person pov.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story; the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: interesting characters, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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129
129
Review of Wisps - Published  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: an interesting tale of a man and woman struggling against nature as well as a mysterious force. This is well written with only a few mistakes.

Opening: from beginning to end, the characters and the situation capture the reader's attention.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing bring the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: this is one of the strengths of the story. Their interaction is very well done.

Dialogue: I enjoyed the dialogue, and it advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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130
130
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: interesting characters with a lot of good action.

Opening: the characters and the situation capture the reader's interest from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good descriptions bring the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: I like their interaction.

Dialogue: good uss of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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131
131
Review of Pegasus’ Ordeal  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I like this a lot; the idea is inventive, and the execution is well done. Good conflict and resolution.

Opening: from the start to finish, the main character and the situation capture the readers' attention.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the character and the scenes to life.

Characters: interesting characters and good interaction between them

Dialogue: I enjoyed the dialogue.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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132
132
for entry "Chapter 7
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I enjoyed the internal character conflict. I also like the idea of the story and how it is presented.

Opening: the character and the situation bring the reader into the story right from the start, and they are held there until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: the descriptive details bring the character and the scene to life.

Characters: good interaction with the characters that advances the story.

Dialogue: I enjoyed the dialogue, and it sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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133
133
Review of The Body  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: Okay, it is not often a story fools me; I can usually figure it out as I go along. The ending came as a real surprise. Very well done.

Opening: the character and the situation bring the reader into the story from the start and keep them there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good descriptions bring the scenes to life.

Characters: this is one of the strengths of the story - well done.

Dialogue: the dialogue sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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134
134
Review of Grandpa's Farm  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: good account of life on a farm in years long gone.

Opening: the writer and the situation pull the reader into the story from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing brings the scenes to life.

Characters: delightful descriptions of the people and their times.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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135
135
Review of Lost Girl  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I like the idea of this story and how it is developed.

Opening: the main character and the situation capture the reader's attention from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptions make for interesting characters and bring the scene to life.

Characters: good interaction between the characters advances the story.

Dialogue: the dialogue sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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136
136
Review of Dream Lords  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I like the idea of the story, and the characters are interesting. There is also an element of mystery that is appealing.

Opening: the reader is hooked from beginning to end, and the ending leaves the reader wondering what will come next.

Scene/Setting: there are good descriptions that enhance the characters and the scenes.

Characters: good character interaction advances the story.

Dialogue: the dialogue sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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137
137
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I like the idea. The characters are interesting.

Opening: the main character and the situation are introduced right away.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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138
138
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I found the story interesting; I particularly enjoyed the characters.

Opening: the main character and the situation are revealed within the first paragraphs. The reader's interest is caught from beginning to end.

Characters: the characters are well done, and their interaction advances the story.

Dialogue: the dialogue sounds natural.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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139
139
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: this story really captured the flavor of the Chicago gangster times.

Opening: the main characters and the situation capture the reader's attention from the first paragraph and hold it until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; the first person pov really pulls the reader into the scenes. I particularly enjoyed the narrator's slang - perfect.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story; good use of description to build the scenes.

Characters: I liked the characters; they were distinctive and interesting, and their interaction advanced the story.

Dialogue: excellent use of dialogue. It fits the story just right.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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140
140
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: Lots of action makes for a great story.

Opening: the reader is hooked in the first paragraph and is held until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: a good descriptive account brings the action to life.

Characters: delightful account of the snake and the people involved; great interaction.

Dialogue: realistic sounding dialogue.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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141
141
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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Overall impression: I like this a lot. I enjoy poetry that tells a story. I also like the many plays on words. It is playful and fun, but there are some serious parts as well. From the start, Mary and merry man, brought to my mind Marion and Robin Hood.

Structure: the poem is presented as couplets, but not following any particular form.

Rhyme: some lines rhyme and there is also some internal rhymes.

Rhythm: there is good rhythm to the poem; this is one of its strengths.

Imagery: chasing some tail; toss in the hay; voice had such weight; duel dually disastrous – these are few of the uses of imagery I found quite effective.

Word choice: I think overall this is very well done. There are a few forced rhymes. And we shared green teas to rhyme with tease. Sharing teas sounds unnatural.
kneels at the altar,
keeps his family from alter. - I think this could be stronger. It doesn't convey the meaning well.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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142
142
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I like the story idea. It is a scary story. Good ending.

Opening: the main character and the situation is presented in the first few paragraphs.

Scene/Setting: this is the strongest part of the story. Lots of descriptive details build the scenes.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction builds tension in the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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143
143
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: the account is serious, funny, and honest. I enjoyed it a lot.

Opening: by the end of the first paragraph, the reader is hooked and carried along by the account until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style written in first person.

Scene/Setting: the scenes flow well.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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144
144
Review of My Favorite Bison  
Review by Paul D
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I loved this story; the emotion and passion comes through so loud and clear.

Opening: from the first paragraph to the last, the reader is captured by the author's narrative.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; the first person narrative works perfectly.

Scene/Setting: lots of descriptive language makes the scenes come to life.

Characters: the animals are all a real delight, and the author's interaction with them is great.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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145
145
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: I enjoyed this account of the war between Lucifer and God.

Opening: from the beginning in heaven, the account pulls the into the story and holds their interest until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: good descriptions bring the scenes to life

Characters: good characterization, and the character interactions advance the story.

Dialogue: the dialogue sounds natural and moves the story along.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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146
146
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: a truly powerful story packed with emotion and lessons to be learned. As a child of abuse, I can so relate.

Opening: several of the main characters and the situation pull the reader into the story right away, and they are held there until the end.


Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: lots of good descriptions make for good scenes

Characters: the characters are compelling, and their story is interesting

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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147
147
Review of A Possum's Story  
Review by Paul D
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: wow! Really good. Some stories just grab you and pull you into that world, and this is one of them. It is fun, silly, and emotional. I loved it.

Opening: the situation and the human and animal characters capture the reader's interest right away and hold it to the end.


Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: great descriptions that bring the scenes to life. It is like being there.

Characters: the animals really make the story. This is the kind of stuff that can't be made up, and it's delightful.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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148
148
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: a delightful story as well as sad of the companionship of a dog.

Opening: Smokey and the situation are introduced right away, and from beginning to end, the reader is caught up in the story.

Style and Voice: easy to read first person narrative

Scene/Setting: the scenes are well set with lots of descriptive detail.

Characters: Smokey is a delight, and the interaction between a girl and her dog is delightful.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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149
149
Review of The Crossing  
Review by Paul D
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: very good story about Charon. The suspense builds slowly with a dramatic ending.

Opening: the main characters open the story in an interesting exchange. The reader's interest is gained right away and held to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptions

Characters: I enjoyed the characters, and they had good interactions.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advanced the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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150
150
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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#456789 by Gaby


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What I like: a very different take on the Cinderella story. The ending came as a bit of a surprise. Hints at various parts of the story indicated that it was about Cinderella, so the reveal at the end was well done.

Opening: the main character and the scene is quickly set in the first paragraphs. The reader's attention is quickly captured and held until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: lots of descriptive language builds scenes that come to life.

Characters: the main character is interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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