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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samuelorona
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1,508 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (5.0)
I’ve never read such a short poem, I didn’t realize you could write poetry with such few words. You’ve expressed the pain the young Asian girl went through when she underwent foot binding. It’s interesting that you say who she was is gone, because that is a philosophical way of expressing the changes she underwent. I think you did a great job!
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was an interesting essay. I believe in a higher power, and have faith that he leads me through life and helps me out of difficult situations. I’m 51 and have read the Bible from cover to cover, so I’m older than you.

I remember being young and having doubts about life, but if you accept God in your life, things will get easier.
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Review of Lenore  
Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I liked this short story, I’m a fan of Edgar Allan Poe, ever since learning of him in junior high school. You really captured the mood of the 19th century really well, in my opinion.

I found what I think might be a couple of errors:

You wrote: We owe Josiah to finish it.

It seems like you meant: We owe it to Josiah to finish it.”

I found another error:

Poe, Poe in the wind, nevermore, nevermore…” His salvia slobbered over his chin.

Saliva is misspelled. I hope this helps!
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Review of Time  
Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think you have an interesting concept, but I was hoping for a more involved story dealing with the consequences of going back and re-living your life differently. I’ve had detailed day dreams about going back and making different choices in life, and I would like to read a story dealing with that. (I’m 50 years old, so just going back to age 19 could change my life significantly. I would have chosen to quit drugs and alcohol and tobacco, and gotten into bodybuilding and drawing comic books.)

My suggestion is to re-write this and show us the age of the character, and describe what went wrong in his life the first time. At that point, you could show how he made different choices when he returns to the afterlife the second time without turning it into too long of a story.

Despite being slightly let down, a I think you’re a good writer and have a lot of potential.
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (5.0)
You’re a much better poet than me, I like how the rhyming words flow so effortlessly. This was a beautiful poem about love, and the imagery of the beach and comparing love to a first prize made me feel positive emotions while reading this.

Mentioning the AABB rhyme scheme showed you knew what you were doing when you wrote this, I wrote a poem for an English class in college once, but I didn’t really understand too much about it. You really seem to have a solid knowledge base about poetry.
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for entry "~ Am I A Writer? ~
Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
There is an error in the first sentence, it says “an writer” and that should be changed to “a writer.”

Overall, this was very inspiring, I like reading about how different people discovered Writing.com. I like the fact that you were part of a 12 step program, I believe Narcotics Anonymous saved my life by getting me to actually consider the concept of living clean and sober. I haven’t used since 2011

I wish you well on your journey as a writer, I hope you have much more to share about your rich life experiences.
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was an interesting story in a genre I’m not too familiar with. I had never read a my little pony story before, but you did a good job of making the reader familiar with the pony characters.

There is a spot where you wrote nopony instead of no pony, I think that could be corrected, and there is a spot where a sentence doesn’t skip a line where it should, It was right after parenthesis, the sentence begins with: His story was true.

All in all, this was a good little story, keep up the good work.
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: E | (3.0)
An interesting story, but there are some errors. 1944 was World War 2, not World War 1.

Aside from that, the narrative of going to garage sales was well written, and conveyed a sense of mood that brings the reader into the story.
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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It’s unbelievable how quickly I’ve gotten responses to technical issues on this site, sometimes in the middle of the night WDC time. I really appreciate the time and effort Storymaster and Storymistress put into this website.

Keep up the good work, and let’s hope for another twenty years, at the very least!

—-Sam

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Review by Gastric Aztec
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am currently trying to lose weight, so the title of this piece caught my eye. I was wondering what would happen to the obese man, but the ending caught me by surprise. I found it hard to feel sorry for him, because he had no remorse about his condition and was doing nothing to get healthier, but he is a fictional character, so I guess I took him a little too literally. The ending was shocking, but interesting. I think you did a good job!
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Review of Dark Passion  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I know you're female, but I'm male and I'm submissive, so I can relate to this. I enjoyed this poem.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the way you wrote about your partner's dark passions, and how you wanted to give in to that passion. I like the thirst you described, and the way you wanted to worship your partner.


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Review of Faithlessness  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting article, I respect your beliefs about humanity and society. It sounds like the struggles you went through in life have shaped your beliefs, I too struggled in life because of child abuse, but I have grown beyond that and I feel that there is hope for humanity.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I am glad you have faith despite all that you've been through.


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Review of Emma  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I thought this was an interesting concept, the idea of a girl dying and the narrator describes how her life could've been better if she had not taken her life. For that, I gave you a higher rating.

Errors/Suggestions: I found quite a few errors, there were missing quotation marks and some words were misspelled. Here is a mistake: and she to blames herself The word "to" should be changed to "too"

As a suggestion, I think this should be expanded, I would like to see more of this story. It would make a great short story of a thousand or two-thousand words.

What I liked: I liked how you described the reasons she shouldn't have taken her life, it goes to show that people who are suicidal should take inventory of their lives and be appreciative of all the blessings they have.
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Review of A Fall Afternoon  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I enjoyed the peace and harmony of the scene you described, and you really went into a lot of detail about the milkshake. I love milkshakes! Was this day at the park something that actually happened to you, or were you making this up?

Errors/Suggestions: I caught a mistake at the beginning: Fall my favorite season It should read: Fall is my favorite season. You need to add an "is" to that sentence.

What I liked: I liked the tranquility and harmony of the day you described. I wish I could go there and experience it for myself.


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Review of The Wish  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a cute story about a child catching a butterfly, and her belief involving making a wish. I've never heard of this belief, but it sounds like something that young people would believe in. If you made up this belief yourself, you're very talented.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't catch any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the belief about catching the butterfly and not hurting it and making a wish. It's very innocent and cute.


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Review of Whisper  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I assume those three words you're talking about are "I love you," but I'm not completely sure, so correct me if I'm wrong. I agree with the theme of this poem, that words can kill, or drive someone to kill.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the strong emotions of your characters!


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Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I agree with your point of view, I don't let negative reviewers bother me too much. I've had people give me one star because they didn't like the sub-genre I write in, it had nothing to do with the quality of the story.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like your wisdom in dispensing advice! I like the way you broke down the list of the different types of reviewers here. There are definitely some helpful people on this site, and I think they outnumber the negative people.


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Review of Tragic Lies  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a tragic poem, it's too bad she believed the voice that was lying to her. I guess we all have doubts in life, but hers was personified.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, good job!

What I liked: I liked the supernatural element of this, it made it spooky!


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Review of Listen  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. If this is a true story, you have my sympathy. I feel bad for what you went through. I was a victim of physical abuse at the hands of my mother when I was growing up, so I can kind of relate.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the resolution of all this, that you were taken away from the abusive situation.


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Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I liked this little story, it's fun to read about other people's childhoods. Annie sounds like a spirited child. If you have more stories from your childhood like this, you should share them!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how you and Annie would go watch the geese, it sounds like you had a good childhood.


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Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like acrostics, it takes skill to make each letter into a sentence that has meaning. I enjoyed this poem even though it was short.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like poems with a positive message, you really summed up what it means to be a mod. I agree that reading and reviewing improves our abilities.


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Review of Verdant Visions  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I enjoyed this ode to Ireland and St. Patrick's day. I had to look up a couple of your word prompts because I was unfamiliar with them, but that's okay because I learned something.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked all of the synonyms for the word green! I also like the way this poem made me feel, it was soothing. Also, thanks for taking the time to explain more about this poem at the bottom of the page, more poets should take the time to do that.


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Review of Fat Girl  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I was attracted to this item after encountering it because I am overweight, and am currently trying to lose weight. I have been somewhat successful so far, but I still have a ways to go. The character you wrote about seems to be a lot fatter than me, but I hope there can be hope for someone like that.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind, but as a suggestion, maybe you could offer some hope for her and have her trying to lose weight, and maybe imply that being fat isn't her destiny.

What I liked: I liked your brutal honesty in your exploration of this overweight woman, you seems to be honest about your observations without being intentionally cruel.


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Review of Love's Embrace  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. You did a good job of describing love in all it's glory, I enjoyed this poem. I like the words you used to describe love, caring, respect and desire. I agree with your view on love.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: Finally! A poem I can interpret easily! Usually I have a hard time interpreting poems, but this poem about love was easy for me to understand.


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Review of (un)Fitness  
Review by Gastric Aztec
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. You did a good job of following the prompt. As an avid gym-goer I like reading anything about the gym. I am also out of shape like your character, but my goal is to become aesthetic.

Errors/Suggestions: I found this mistake: My motivation was quiet clear. "quiet" would make more sense if it was changed to "quite"

What I liked: I'm glad you posted the prompt at the bottom of the page so readers know why you wrote about this topic, too many writers don't take the time to do that.


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