This is a WONDERFUL depiction of bipolar disorder and quite well written! I think, however, that this poem may be easier to follower and may flow better with some punctuation.
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Another beautiful poem that really tugged at the strings in my heart!! Not only are your words easily felt by the reader, but I pray that each reader can relate to your words!!
This is a beautiful testment of love and really brings me back to when I met my husband, when I married my husband, and every morning that I wake beside my husband!
You really got your feelings across the reader and you did it beautifully!!
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This is incredibly heartfelt and touching, and yet it remains upbeat and optimistic! A beautiful tale, expressed with wonderful wording!! It holds a wonderful message that really pulled on my heart-strings!
Another beautiful poem! I cannot wait to read more!!
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Another beautiful poem!! You really manage to rouse a lot of feeling within your reader! I could feel every word and was filled instantly with peace and inspiration!
Add to that, that there were no typos, the smoothness of flow from beginning to end, and your uncanny ability to make rhyme read as though it is natural, and you've got a truly magnificent piece that will inspire and delight each and every reader!
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Beautifully touching and wonderfully written!! This is a great poem for the new year, and for every day!! I hope that all people that read this feel it as much as I did, and carry it with them whereever life may take them!!
A beautifully written, incredibly inspirational piece of writing that tugged on every chord of my heart!! Thank you!
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Very well written and entertaining! It put a smile on my face right away! (What a nice way to my day... thank you!) The only thing that stood out to me, was in the last stanza; In the first line, you describe the basketball as "flat," whereas throughout the poem it is "terribly flat." I know, I know, it's a bit nitpicky, but it threw me off... (Simple-minded, lol, especially before the kids are in school!).
I love finding new uses for old things, so this was right up my alley!! A great poem for children, and wasteful adults alike!!
Wonderful job! I can't wait to read more!!
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Well, you already know how much I loved this story! I just wanted to pop in and tell you that you did a wonderful job titling the completed story!! Desiderata is not only a beautiful word, but a very fitting title for this piece!
Perfect!!
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I don't have my usual review format with me. Please forgive me if this review is lacking.
This title definitely fits this piece, and the description is wonderful!
This was a great piece to read to start my day! It's beautifully written and, not only is it incredibly touching, but it contains a message that all people should heed to.
Today is my nephew's fifteenth birthday. Since I woke up, I was between wanting him to be the baby he once was and the man that he will become. When I woke him up, I was just happy to have him here at all, happy to hear him being youthful even as the years are rushing at him. He knows what I may have forgotten: Enjoy every day as though it will be your last.
Obviously, this piece really tugged at the strings of my heart. I related to it far too much and really needed this message today!
THANK YOU!! It's another beautiful display of how much talent you possess and the amazing life you've lead and continue to lead with every waking morning!
The only thing that stood out was a typo in in the third sentence of the second paragraph: wrpte.
I really don't know what else I could say. What else could anyone say??
Thank you again,
Your Friend,
Sapphire
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You really managed to sum writer's block!! I think we can all agree with this, however, it might be nice to see you break out of the block and ass more to this poem! C'mon, a few words a day...They don't even have to make sense! lol
Thank you for making me smile! I can relate far too much to this one!!
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Well written! I love how you opened yourself to your reader. That can be a touch topic to talk about and you handled it well. You brought me back to my own similiar days and put tears in my eyes. A truly beautiful job!!
The only thing that stood out was in line 10: I think scares should be scars.
Well done, though! I can't wait to read more of writings!!
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Title: This title definitely fits this poem!! Description: I love that you give your readers background information! Idea: I can't definitely relate to this poem! When my alarm goes off at 6, I hit the snooze about five times before I finally get up! (Now, I've started waiting until my husband is up and ready for work before I get up now...every extra minute counts! lol). NOt to mention, that I've done the same thing mentioned about a million and one times!!! Emotion: This poem definitely draws some emotion out of the reader! I think we can all relate, and will all feel every word you've written! Imagery: This made me relive every day of my life...I think it got darker in here while I was reading! lol. Form: Everything flowed well, but I noticed that a few lines are eleven syllables rather than the traditional ten of a sonnet (it is ten, right? lol...I, for some reason, think I may be wrong!). It didn't obstruct the flow or my reading of the poem...I only noticed it when I counted the syllables. Rhyme: Everything rhymes wonderfully! Spelling/Typos: In line 5: ...I gropd fir the...
In line 6: ...to shreak that... shriek Ending: Brought a smile to my face and made me laugh --and brought back memories!! Colors: N/A Suggestions: I don't have any. Overall: I really enjoyed this poem!! It's nice to read a light-hearted poem and laugh a little! Thank you for the laughs!!
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This poem is incredibly touching! I, unfortunately, could relate too much to this poem... Anyway, the free verse form really worked well with your words to keep everythign flowing wonderfully from beginning to end, and you did a beautiful job of baring your soul to your reader and making him/her feel what you are going through. It's an amazing tribute and wodnerfully written!
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In all honesty, I cannot use my normal review format here. I do not have the heart to pick apart such a poem and review it piece by piece. Instead, I'll just speak about it as a whole, I guess:
Your wording is wonderful and your message is great. You not only slap your reader with your message, but you also bring tears to the reader's eyes. This poem, all in all, was incredibly touching, and beautifully written! This incident touched us all, I think --or, at least, it's known by all.... and it's good that you opened your heart and wrote something that remind us not to forget, but to fight!!!!
I think you could add a bit more to this, though... It's beautiful as is, but, when I came to the end, I felt like you had more to say!
Title: This title definitely fits this piece, and it caught my eye right away, so Great job here! Description: Gives insight and background information --also, in my opinion, sucks the reader right in! Idea: The idea --no, memory, behind this piece is horrific! For that to happen... it just sent chills down my spine and made me want to hug you!! Typos/Errors Grammar:
Paragraph 6: There's a break here, mid-paragraph.
Paragraph 9-10: There's no space between paragraphs.
Paragraph 13: ...that caused the he had... I think a word is missing.
Paragraph 24: ...her and said threatened to... Spelling:
I didn't notice anything... Punctuation:
Again, I didn't notice anything... Ending: I really hate to even have a bad thought about such a piece, but I think this ending is missing something. I was left wanting more. Perhaps add a comment about your personal healing? Suggestions: I have none. Overall: This is a great display of your talent! You keep everything factual, but you also bring your reader there. You make your reader tremble, or, at least, I did. You wrote this too well --you scared the heck out of me and made my heart skip a few beats!!! All in all, well written and ...just thank you. THank you for sharing this! Thank you for opening up your wound and allowing us to nurture ourselves and face the world we are in...
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Title: This title drew me in and definitely fits with the poem, but I think it gives too much away. Description: I like that you give background information about the poem, but I think you may attract more readers if you give some hint or glimpse into what the poem is about. Idea: The idea behind this poem is one that I think all of us can relate --or, at least, it will remind any reader of a moment in his/her own life where they could relate to it. For this reason, I love the idea of the poem. Emotion: I love that you bared a part of yourself and also left it open for your reader to feel his/her own feelings, to drag those old emotions out of the closet in their mind and remember what it was like... Imagery: This, I think, depends on the reader. I think your words lead the reader to remember, which means that each reader will create his/her own imagery --which makes this poem even easier for your reader to relate to!!! Form: The free verse form definitely worked well with your words to keep everything flowing wonderfully from beginning to end! Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: I didn't notice any problems here... Ending: This ending is good, but I was left wanting more. Colors: N/A Suggestions: I really feel like you've got something great here, but I think it wouldn't too add a bit more --give a bit more about what's going on. I mean, I really enjoyed reading this, but I want MORE! (This could be because I'm spoiled...lol) Also, punctuation at the end! Overall: I really enjoyed this poem, truly! It stirred plenty of feeling within me --which a poem should! This poem also shows that you have a great talent, I just feel like you could elaborate a bit more, I suppose.... I don't know, it's hard to explain what I mean...I love this poem, but it felt incomplete, I wanted to know more about what was happening, but still felt that the poem was great. (If that makes any sense...! lol) Basically, you did a great job and you've definitely got talent! KEEP WRITING!!! I can't wait to read more from you!!
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Title: Definitely works well with the poem and, I feel, was the perfect choice! Description: Another good description that tells teh reader what he/she is about to read without giving too much of the poem away. Wonderful! Idea: Chilling and quite sad, though presented wonderfully. Emotion: This is a very emotional poem. Not only for the writer and character, but also, I feel, for the reader. I think that we have all been to a point like this, such a low time. I think too many of us can recall a time that we would've written something along these lines --and FAR too many who can currently relate! Imagery: Very visual. You've done an amazing job of bringing your reader to see what you are saying and what is happening. Form: Another wonderful use of the free verse form! Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: I didn't notice any. Ending: This last line really hit me hard. It gives more than just that final stab of feeling that an ending should --it brings a tear as well. Colors: N/A Suggestions: At the risk of sounding too redundant... Punctuation, once again. Overall: Another beautifully written piece! Incredibly chilling, touching, and sad, but, wonderfully presented.
Title: I actually really like this title. It definitely drew me in, as well as fitting the poem perfectly! Description: This description seems incomplete. ...the what? Obviously, not so incomplete as to deter me from reading the poem, but I've seen your talent and think you can do better! Idea: The idea behind this poem is very sweet and touching, something I hope many readers will be able to relate with as I did. Emotion: I was very moved by this poem, perhaps because, as a newly wed, I related easily to your words, but I think this is a poem that could touch and move ANY reader! You truly expressed your self in an amazing way!!! Imagery: This poem really allows the reader to envision what or who he/she feels. Your words lead the reader to the right someone to think of, and then allow his/her mind to envision what their own heart feels. Again...amazingly done!!! Form: Once again, you've made the perfect choice in using the free verse form. Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: Aside from the possibility of making Breath taking one word in line 2, everything seems wonderful! Ending: Touching, captivating, enchanting, and all together wonderful! I really love this ending and thinks it's the perfect choice for this poem! Colors: N/A Suggestions: Just the punctuation thing again. (I'm a bit nitpicky, aren't I? lol) Overall: I really don't know how else to express how much I truly loved reading this poem! I hope that the words of praise I have written will be able to show you how much I truly adored your words and, more than anything, the way they made me feel (as they will anyone who reads this poem!)
Title: Definitely the perfect choice for this poem! Description: This is another good description that gives your reader a glimpse without making him/her feel that they needn't read the poem. Idea: I love a poem that takes a simple act and makes it as touching as you have! Emotion: You really bring your reader to feel for the character, which is a wonderful thing!!! Imagery: This poem is very visual and you really manage to bring your reader to not only feel your words, but see what is happening! Wonderfully done! Form: Once again, this is a beautiful use of the free verse form! The short lines really keep everything reading easily and smoothly. Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: I did not see any. Ending: Chilling. What more can I say? I think you ended this perfectly. Colors: N/A Suggestions: Just some punctuation. Overall: This was quite the chilling poem and really strikes the reader. Awesome job! I loved it!!!
Title: This title definitely fits the poem and is, I think, the right choice! Description: This is a great description! It does a wonderful job of giving readers a glimpse into the poem and sums everything up without actually giving away the whole idea of the poem. Idea: This poem represents something that I think many of us go through. Afterall, friendship is always the first stepping stone in any relationship. Emotion: You've done a beautiful of not only telling your reader how you feel, but also of making your reader feel what you've written! Beautifully done! Imagery: Again, this isn't a very visual poem. There is room for your reader to picture his/her own friend, which really adds to the emotion that your reader feels. Form: The free verse form worked wonderfull with your words! Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: In line 2, its should be it's.
In Line 5, I think it should be it would've killed... or just simply it killed... Ending: Sums everything up wonderfully and really hits the reader. Wonderful job here!!! Colors: N/A Suggestions: The only real suggestion I have is to add some punctuation. I think it would definitely improve the flow of the poem so that the reader is not reading the whole poem as one continuious sentence. Overall: I really enjoyed reading this poem and feel that you did a beautiful job of opening yourself up to your reader --and of making yoru reader feel your words. What else can I really say? Beautiful.
Title: Untitled definitely works. I'm sure you can find the perfect title for this piece, if you wanted, but sometimes 'untitled' fits/works better than any other word(s). Description: This description fits the poem quite well and also gives the reader a glimpse into the poem without telling him/her so much that they needn't read it to know what the poem is about. Idea: The idea behind this poem is one that I think many of us can relate to --and in many different ways. Although this poem states one case, it is very easy to see how this can be related to other circumstances... Basically, the idea expressed is one that I'm sure many people can relate to in some way or another, which is quite amazing! Emotion: You've done a truly beautiful job of getting your feelings across to your reader, but you also allow room for your reader's own feelings to work their way in (again, easily related to other situations --and easy for anyone to relate to). Wonderful job!!!! Imagery: This poem is really not one of imagery, but more of feeling. No imagery is needed here, since the lack of imagery allows the reader to imagine things as they feel... Form: The free verse form and short lines worked beautifully to keep everything flowing and easily understood from beginning to end. Rhyme: N/A Spelling/Typos: In Line 3, I think Barley should be Barely. Ending: I really feel that this is a wonderful ending! It not only sums up the idea and feeling of the poem, but also gives the final stab of emotion that all ending should give. Not to mention that it also left me in thought! All in all, I found this to be the perfect ending for this poem!!! Colors: N/A Suggestions: The lack of punctuation throughout this poem, to me, threw off the flow of this poem. A reader soemtimes needs a bit of direction as far as pauses and breaths while reading. So, my only real suggestion is to add punctuation. Overall: I really enjoyed reading this poem and think it is truly beautiful! Between the feeling of the whole poem and how easy it is to relate to, and your own personal message, this is truly what poetry is....
I really don't know quite what to say.... The imagery, the wording...it's beautiful! As far as meaning and feeling, this poem is quite empowering! Your description says that this is a "Poem about being in a new place and feeling lonely," but I see so much more within the imagery, within the thoughts.
It's very easy to see how this poem could be about moving, feeling lonely, etc..., but there is A LOT more that to this poem than just that --a lot more for people to relate to! Not only can I relate this poem --immediately, to my recent marriage, any death, but it also feels like life in general (among many other things)!
All in all, you've managed to say so much with so few words that I'm truly just awed --and wuite speechless!
5/5 doesn't even begin to tell how I feel about this poem --how I felt as I read it!
*This review was done at the request of DayDreamer who won a review package in an auction.
Title: A beautiful title! Definitely fits the poem and definitely catches readers' eyes! Description: Clarifies the title and gives the reader a bit more insight into the poem. What more could we ask for? Idea: Simply beautiful!! Some poems make you really wonder about the inspiration behind them and this is one of them? This was truly just a beautiful idea!!! Emotion: This poem is definitely filled with plenty of emotion! Each line is beautiful and touching! You bring your reader to feel each and every word, line, and stanza! Imagery: There is a lot of imagery throughout this poem! No matter how the reader sees each detail, every detail can easily be seen!! Form: The free verse form really worked beautifully with your words to keep the poem flowing smoothly from beginning to end without your words seeming too formulated or constricted! Rhyme: N/A (And I think rhyme may have damaged the amount of emotion in this poem.) Spelling/Typos: I didn't see any spelling errors or typos! Punctuation: Again, I saw no errors! Ending: This endin gis incredibly strong. It is a stab of emotion to the reader that sums up the whole poem perfectly! Colors: N/A Suggestions: I have none! Overall: I really loved everything about this poem and look forward to reading more of your writings sometime in the near future!! This was truly just beautiful....no other word or words could describe it!!
Title: This title really fits with this piece and I love that it could represents many things --that the reader could be thinking a million things, then have to read the piece to find out what you're talking about. lol. Description: This description works well with the piece without giving away the whole meaning or idea of it! Great job! Idea: I love the idea behind this essay! It is something that we could all agree with, I'm sure. ...You give wonderful arguements and comparisons to support the idea and really make your reader think! Typos/Errors: Grammar:
Beginning Note: The word "Neither" at the beginning of Sentence 3 really stood out to me. Because this sentence does not actually contain a compare/contrast-type structure, but continues it from previous statements, the word "Nor" might be more appropriate. (It sounded better when I read it that way, but I haven't taken an English class in a few years, lol, so I might be wrong. hehe.)
In the First Title: "Life as Prison" --this works as it is, but I'm not sure if it is a typo or not, so I figured I would note it just in case.
Life as Prison, Second Paragraph: Okay, this is a typo, and not really grammar, but it's going here anyway! lol. --About half way through this paragraph, there is a space between sentence 8 ("It generates apathy...") and senetence 9 {"Prison is terminal."). I think this is meant to be the beginning of a new paragraph.... Spelling:
I didn't see anything... Punctuation:
Again, I saw no problems! Ending: I loved this ending!! It ties everything up wonderfully with a very strong statement that makes the reader sit and think for a few minutes. I think this was definitely a perfect way to end this piece!! Suggestions: I don't have any! Overall: I truly loved this essay!!! The idea behind it is one that many people refer to in different ways and you've used it so beautifully that I am just...amazed!! What else can I say?
Title: This title is very suiting for the story and grabbed my eye right away due to it's French Context. Description: This description works well to give the reader some insight into the story, but I think could be "spruced up" a bit. (Don't ask me how....I may have just gone insane. lol) Idea: I'm loving the idea of this story! It's a beautiful tale that really makes your reader feel the Christmas spirit! (I wish I would've read this before Christmas. lol) Typos/Errors: Grammar:
In Paragraph 7 ("As the day progressed,..."): I got a bit stuck on the first sentence for some reason, then realized it was the word "threatening" that appears at the end of the sentence. ...I mean, I understand it and all, but it doesn't actually tell what or who the snowstorm is threatening (it's obvious, I know, but...). All in all, this is really just me being weird, but I think it could be phrased better, perhaps...(with the threat of another snowstorm -- with another snowstorm threatening to fall/begin, etc...
In Paragraph 17 ("Inside, the front entrance..."): In the third sentence, I think you may have left out the word "the": "Anna, the tiny woman of the mansion's... Spelling:
I didn't notice any. {c:khaki:}Punctuation:
In Paragraph 3 ("'Now who's a...'"): There is an out-of-place period after the question. (?". laughed Joshua.).
In Paragraph 4 ("'Uncle, Uncle...'"): I think perhaps changing the commas after the word Uncle (both times), may help emphasize the intensity of the girl yelling...it shows more emotion. Ending: This ending gave me a good smile and laugh! And, was a wonderful cliffhanger to make your readers want to read the story in its entirety! Suggestions: I haven't got any. Overall: I loved this story and really can't wait to find the time to read the full tale!! Wonderfully written and very touching, so far!! You did a beautiful job!!
Why I chose to participate in this poll: Mainly curiosity. I know how often I rate/review things I read, but I wanted to know how often others do...Especially since, as you mention, we all see how often our items are viewed and compared to how often they are reviewed. Question: I think this is a wonderful question! Options: I think you gave the right choices! Everyone should be able to fit into one of these categories. Relativity to Writing.Com: Well, gee...I wonder! lol. Obviously, this has a big relativity-factor, which I love! Usefulness/Entertainment: I think this poll is very useful for WDC members. It not only makes the participant look at how often they actually review what they read, but it also gives them a bit of insight into their read/reviewed ratio. Typos/Errors: I didn't see any. Overall: I loved this poll! It's ideal for this website and just..perfect for the members!
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