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 Please remember that the contents of this review are purely opinion.
My three Biggest Thoughts
1. I'll be watching for the commercials for this episode!  (ON HBO or ShowTime, that is...)
2. Well written and easy to see!
3. ...Definitely resolves some viewers' issues! 
Title
This title definitely fits this story perfectly!
Description
Again, works perfectly with this story! Great background information as well as insight!
Imagery
Having seen the show many times, it was definitely easy to see everything, however, I think that people who have not seen the show (if such people exist, lol), would easily be able to envision everything as well!
Emotion
This story is a topsy-turvy roller coaster with the emotions. The reader is able to feel for the characters, but he/she also gets their own feelings stirred as they read!!
Dialogue
The dialogue throughout this story was well-suited to the characters and worked well to enhance the story! Nicely done!
Creativity
This is quite creative!
Grammar
There were a few rough spots here...
Typos and Suggestions
 = Error; Big Distraction
 = Minor Error or Typo
 = Suggestion
 = Explaination
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Add Text
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Paragraph 4
Instinctually, his body...
Each time I read this, I paused after 'instinctually', so I think a comma might improve the flow here...
Paragraph 5
"Are you ok?"
I know that writing 'ok' has become an acceptable practice, however, it's still not a real word. And, even though many dictionaries include 'OK' or 'O.K.' nowadays, I still think that spelling it as a full, proper word (okay) is the best choice. This, however, I fully recognize as a matter of personal preference. 
Paragraph 6
Scrambling to the door, she shut it...
Since there are two separate actions here, I think a comma after door would improve the flow and clarity here.
Paragraph 8
...her long-fingered hands...
I think hyphenating these words would help link the two together as one thought to improve clarity and imagery in the reader's mind.
..."Probably Abs? Probably?"...
Since this is dialogue within dialogue, the quotation marks should be apostrophes. I know that there's more technical words for this and I could say it should be single, but I like easy explaining today. lol.
...that "probably" is nothing...
Same as above, however, I think here that eliminating the quotation marks and italicizing the word probably would be a better option...
Paragraph 12
...there was some guys...
Due to the word was referring to the plural word guys, was should be were. Yes, I realize this is dialogue and she could be just talking that way, but, since Abby is such a smart character, I can't see her using improper English... Does that make sense to anyone but me? lol 
Paragraph 20
Ok,...
I'm going into my rant again, I promise, lol, but I wanted to just point it out here in case you decide to change it...
Paragraph 26
...more than anyt--
Okay, now I'm just being a pain, but I was expecting the "h" here since the t doesn't really make a noise without it...?
Paragraph2 27/28
There are extra lines skipped between these paragraphs, although there does not appear to be a lapse in time.
Paragraph 28
...was THEE computer geek.
There's an extra E here, but I also think that, since this is such a short word, bolding or italicizing it rather than using all caps would do the job of emphasizing it without making it look too out of place...
Paragraph 39
Ok, McGee, ok.
Again, just pointing it out.
Paragraph 40
...that gets Gibbs smacked on the...
I got very hung up here and had to reread this a few times... It reads like she's causing Gibbs to get smacked, but, reading on, it seems she's getting smacked by him, so I'm going to suggest that Gibbs should be possessive and smacked should be 'smacks'.
Paragraph 43
Either that or...
Since the speaker doesn't change and he's actualyl continuing the same thought from Paragraph 42, there's no need for a new paragraph.
Paragraphs 47/48
Extra line skipped between paragraphs.
Paragraph 59
"Yes, Master,"...
Since she is talking to "Master," there should be a comma after 'Yes'.
Paragraph 61
better on her then it...
than
Paragraph 65
...puddle of pj bottoms.
I think that PJ or P.J. might work better here since 'pj' looked like a typo to me at first.
Paragraph 66
"Nice of them..."
Since the prior paragraph shows her action, I think this might be best placed there because Paragraph 65 made me think she was remaining silent and I began reading this paragraph as though McGee was speaking.
Paragraph 67
...setting on your stoop.
I wanted to read 'sitting' here, so I thought I should point it out.
PAragraph 71
...here in DC," Tim blurted, making her...
D.C.? Again, I realize this could be a preference thing.
To separate actions, I think adding a comma after 'blurted' would improve clarity and flow.
Paragraph 74
So what if I enjoy feeling wanted.
Since she's actually asking a question here, the period should be a question mark.
Bouncing off the couch, she...
Again, I think that adding a comma between the separate actions would improve clarity and flow.
Paragraphs 76/77
Extra lines skipped between paragraphs.
Paragraph 84
Since she's ranting, I think that adding an exclamation point or two into this paragraph would help show the emotion in her words.
Paragraph 87
"monogogamous social interaction"
Since this is within quotation marks, the quotation marks should be single.
Paragraph 100
...co habitation...
Should be one word.
...dumb founded...
Should be one word.
Paragraph 119
...lounge pants elastic...
pants should be possessive.
Paragraph 129
Some might of found it...
I think this should be 'have'.
Paragraphs 138/139
Since the speaker doesn't change the action is linked to the dialogue, I think that combining these paragraphs would improve the clarity here.
Paragraph 139
"That's just it, McGee."
Since she is talking to McGee, there should be a comma before his name.
Paragraph 140
You are so "together".
Since this is within quotation marks, the marks should be singular, however, I think that italicizing here might improve the clarity and flow better.
Paragraph 145
"Yes, Boss."
Since this is being said to Boss, there should be a comma after 'Yes'.
Oh. Ok. No, Sir,...
There's that evil little 'Ok' again.
Comma after 'No'.
Yes, Sir.
Comma after Yes.
...before muttering to himself, "see you...
Comma after himself.
The S is see should be capitalized since it beginning dialogue.
Paragraphs 150/151
These paragraphs should be one.
Overall Thoughts
This is a good example of your talent for bringing the reader into the story and allowing them to see and feel everything! This reads like watching an episode on the television (Though it did take me longer than an hour, lol, but that could be since I'm a multi-tasker and have a husband and pets... Nothing gets accomplished quickly.)
Rating Explanation
I'm giving this piece a 4.0 because, while I feel that it was very good, I think it just needs a little work to be perfect... Including the cliff-hanger ending that made me want more, but, right now, left the story feeling incomplete...
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You forgot the aposotrphe! 
Well done, my dear! Well done!
Proud member of "
Emotion/Feeling/Affect
Since this is being said to ‘old friend’, there should be a comma after longer.