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501
501
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

The blog contains the author's writiting prompts and reflections on a variety of "life" topics.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the reflections. They were very thoughtful and insightful. I think an honest assessment of the week helps us improve.

*Star* CONTENT/USE

There is a good variety of topics along with writing prompts. The blog is used frequently, the last entries in JUL 2014.

*Star* INTRODUCTON

The introduction is short and to the point. Good use of graphics.You could expand on the intro if you wanted to.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any glaring mistakes, but I'm usually flexible when it comes to blogs.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. I liked the conversational tone of the entries.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

502
502
for entry "Quotes" 
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

The blog contains the author's musings on a variety of topics along with writing prompts

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the look at the author's everyday life. It made it easy to relate to the author.

*Star* CONTENT/USE

There is a good variety of content. The blog has entries into Jul 2014 and appears very active.

*Star* INTRODUCTON

I might suggest expanding on the intro. Perhaps add a graphic to set the tone/mood.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any glaring mistakes, but I'm usually flexible when it comes to blogs.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. I like the length of the blog entries. Short, yet very articulate. Two thumbs up.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

503
503
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* THE CNOTE COLLECTION

A whimiscal collection of notes that fit several life occasions from birthdays to get better soon.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

There is a nice variety of notes containing a wide variety of messages.

*Star* INTRODUCTION

Good use of WDC ML and graphics. The graphic sets the tone and mood of the collection. Well done.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought the prices were honest. I liked the whimsical expresion in the graphics. A heartfelt collection. **Reviewed for the Bard's Hall Contest, May 2014.**
504
504
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The clouds evoke sleep which provides an interlude for love in the material world.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the word play. The poem taps into emotion well.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Well written, the poem reminds us of how precious love is and fragile it is, too - like a cloud.

#1 2009 Review signature
505
505
Review of The Seasons  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A look at love through the seasons of the year.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I love the word choices. They really helped to illustrate love as it travels through the year.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a senryu poem, similiar to a hiaku. The senryu focus on human foibles, here, the foibles of love.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. If anything, there might be a need for punctuation, but again, due to the form and expression, the poem speaks well without it.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Well done. The poem offers hope in the start of spring, which I think we often feel in general as spring begins. The poem is well layered. Write on!

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506
506
Review of Come With Me  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

For me, I saw a "forumla" for lovers to travel through life.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the rythme scheme. Very good expression.

*Star* STRUCTURE

Every other line rythmes. The scheme is AA/BB/CC and so forth. The scheme is well done.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest using punctuation to apart the rythmes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I might also leave a blank line between every two lines just to make it easier to read on WDC. Very heartfelt. Write on!

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507
507
Review of Foolishness  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A young man in love, doesn't see the "gem" in front of him.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the rythme scheme. The poem was easy to read and understand.

*Star* STRUCTURE

The first line of each stanza uses "her" to keep the reader focused on the "theme" of the poem. The 2nd and 4th lines rythme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Great expression. Write on!

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508
508
Review of SimpliCity  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Norman goes through the motions of his life only to be thrown a curve ball at the end of the day.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the take on the futuristic world. Very good world building.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Norman's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "I would definitely like that," Elena replied as she moved a little further onto the couch.

MY SUGGESTION: Elena moved a little further onto the couch. "I would definitely like that."

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses, including smell. What does the dystopian world smell like? Stale and metallic? Crisp? Flowers?

*Star* SETTING

TIME: distant future
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Norman

There's enough here to understand his apprehensions. He wants more out of his life, but the City discourages it. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. I might suggest spelling out "OK" as "okay" in manuscript writing. "OK" is good journalistic writing, but most editors want to see "okay."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening describes Norman's world, using a good economy of words. The opening doesn't linger, instead it makes the reader wonder why "The City" is the way it is, drawing the reader into the story. Write on!

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509
509
Review of Slaughterhouse  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Harley works in a slaughterhouse with a family history of mental illness. Is it just a matter of time before he goes off his rocker.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The setting was totally creepy and set the tone/mood for the story perfectly.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from Harley's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's enought to augment the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the story and paint vivid pictures for the readers in their minds. The whole depiction of the cows being led to their deaths was well done and totally creeped me out as a reader.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Harley

There's enough here to understand motivations and feelings. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Using Halloween as a catalyst to set Harley was inspired. Well written. Bill, it's always a pleasure to read an item out of your port. *Smile*

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510
510
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The narrator, an unnamed soldier who has returned home, finds a different way of life greets him.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked that the story was easy to read. The character's voice feels natural and honest and hints at hope despite all the changes he has to face.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.


*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the mood of the story with the word count restriction. Well done.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Unnamed male narrator

There's enough here to understand his feelings. He has a lot of change to deal with. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The story is easy to read and captures a sense of challenge and hope.

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511
511
Review of The Question  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE PROSE

A prose that pleads for a chance for her lover to stay.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The expression and emotion are heartfelt and full of honesty.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form format.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestion for improvement. The author uses a good economy of words to capture description, both emotional and setting. Well written.

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512
512
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

This is a prose-like styled poem where a soldier lays, dying, and his last thoughts.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem paints a vivid picture. I enjoyed how the author used a good economy of words to describe the soldier's dying minutes.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes, but I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation and capitalization.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. A poignant read.


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513
513
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem captures a genuine love for winter and the world it brings.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play in the poem. The author paints very vivid pictures.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no set rythme scheme, but there are rythmes.

*Star* MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor ediit for punctuation mistakes, though I suppose this could be the author's style.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. A very expressive poem that challenges the reader to feel the affection behind the words.


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514
514
Review of War Bride  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A woman recalls how she lost her one true love to war.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem is easy to read, understand, and paints a vivid picture with words. The emotion is heartfelt.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with a ABCB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Very poignant and taps into emotion that every reader can feel, lonliness, sadness, full of inner courage in the face of tragedy.


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515
515
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

This is about a couple seperated by war and they have to face the Christmas holiday without each other.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem is easy to read and understand. The emotion is heartfelt.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is written in a abcb, 7-6-7-6 format.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot an spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Expressive, well written, and reaches across all age groups.


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516
516
Review of The Letter  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LETTER

The letter is one from a girlfriend to her soldier in World War II.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the tone of the letter. It sounded very authentic and heartfelt.


*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the tone, but this is something that could be expanded on. What are her friends like? Is this their favorite theatre?

*Star* SETTING

TIME: World War II, USA
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Emma

There's enough here to understand her feelings. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion would be to have a line seperating the paragraphs here on WDC so it's easier to read.




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517
517
Review of Hope Fades  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Reading* THE POEM

The poem talks about what happens when hope fades away.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved how the poem evoked emotion. There was a natural emotional progression.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rhythm scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes, but I might recommend an edit for puncutation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. I liked how the poem had a message that readers can relate to.

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518
518
Review of Love Haiku  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Love and Hate play off of each other.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I like how the poem comes around full circle, capturing the "yin/yang" of two passionate emotions.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is done in a Japanese poetry style known as Haiku.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling or punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The dynamic word choice grabs the reader's attention and makes them think. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB

Review Signature
519
519
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A look at time and how it can "play" with us.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Dyanamic word choice.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is done in a Japanese poetry style known as Haiku.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot and spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement.I was reminded to be mindful of time because it can play with us and when we choose to love. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB

Review Signature
520
520
Review of Rose  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Describes the romance of a rose.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the word play, especially the last line - thorns remind us to not take love for granted.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is done in a Japanese poetry style known as Haiku.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot and spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Even beauty has defenses that one must overcome to win a cherished prize. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB

Review Signature
521
521
Review of Morning  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Paints a nice, sweet visual of a romantic embrace.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Nice word play to invoke images.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is done in a Japanese poetry style known as Haiku.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot and spelling or punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Very expressive and evokes heartfelt emotion.

Reviewed by StephB

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522
522
Review of Time May Tell  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Reading* THE POEM

Time needs patience.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The expression draws the reader in and offers an invitation to ponder time.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with a AABB rhythme scheme after the 1st stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might recommend puncutation for the poem to establish pacing.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. Thought provoking.

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523
523
Review of Stuck  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Reading* THE POEM

Whatever is "stuck" must break out. (Be it a physical object or an emotion)

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Very good expression. The poem makes one think.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with a AABB rhythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for puncutation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. A heart stirring poem.

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524
524
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading* THE BLOG

The centers around misc topics. (texting slang and taste in music, both appealing)

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

It was very personable and relatable. The blog engaged others and there were several comments.

*Star* CONTENT

There were three entries during June. I liked how the entries appealed to everyday life.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any glaring spelling/punctuation mistakes, but I'm not so picky with blog entries and journals unless it's consistent.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The blog is engaging. Keep on blogging. Trust me, it's not easy. There's a graphic to set the tone/feel for the both. I might add a small paragraph to define the goals you want to accomplish with the blog.

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

Review Signature
525
525
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Juan evokes passion in Carolina

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author used images and and description to evoke romantic feelings.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Carolina. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.


*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes and evoke emotion.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Carolina

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She embraces newfound love, but as she and Juan "settle down" into their day-to-day lives, she has questions. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. I especially liked the use of the line, "Senorita, you are cold, no?" to evoke that initial warm feeling of finding romance. Well done! *Smile*

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