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251
251
Review of Foundation  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review







Your Prompt was:

In the United States we celebrate Mother’s Day tomorrow.

Write a story or poem about your mother and dedicate it to her.

{c;grape}(Mothers come in assorted packages, so if your mother was a grandma, aunt, or . . . that’s totally acceptable for the prompt as long as you viewed this person in the role as your mother. )





What I liked most about this piece was the beauty of the piece. Nicely done.



Further Corrections & comments:

I'm not sure this was a true tribute to your mother, but I liked it very much. Wonderful ending. The transition was delightful.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
252
252
Review of Tongue-tied  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review





Your Prompt was:

By now, everyone who has even heard about the internet should know that if you conduct an internet poll to name something, the result will be undesirable. Call it Waltz's Fourth Law of the Internet.

Well, for tomorrow, write a story or poem about conducting an internet poll to name something (a baby, a novel, or a dog, for example, or anything), with the result being completely inappropriate.

Example of Waltz's Fourth Law at this link: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-36225652





What I liked most about this piece was the name that came up on the Internet poll. LOL



Further Corrections & comments:

Loved the suits with nothing better to do, sitting in their windowless room. Great image.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
253
253
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Orthodox Easter Sunday, too, if you celebrate it today.)Otherwise, Happy May Day -- bring on the flowers!



Your Prompt was:

The following unbelievable quote is from an ad for Texas Tech University:

“An interest in zombies led graduate student John Calhoun to build a supercomputer used for serious research, student outreach and tracking zombies.”

(Science New Magazine, April 30, 2016)

If zombies can inspire such brilliance, then your task is to write a poem or story about zombies.

HINT: I abhor violence, so, please make your piece funny, or at least mild.




What I liked most about this piece was another solution to the energy crisis. LOL



Further Corrections & comments: This was clever, but, usually a story has characters. That gives you a way to SHOW a scene.



I am so glad I got to read this. You're very creative. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
254
254
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Orthodox Easter Sunday, too, if you celebrate it today.)Otherwise, Happy May Day -- bring on the flowers!



Your Prompt was:

The following unbelievable quote is from an ad for Texas Tech University:

“An interest in zombies led graduate student John Calhoun to build a supercomputer used for serious research, student outreach and tracking zombies.”

(Science New Magazine, April 30, 2016)

If zombies can inspire such brilliance, then your task is to write a poem or story about zombies.

HINT: I abhor violence, so, please make your piece funny, or at least mild.




What I liked most about this piece was your wonderful sense of humor!



Further Corrections & comments:

That was an amazing ending. Just when we were convince that this would be an exception to the rule, you reared back and pinched us! FOFL



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
255
255
Review of Zombie  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Orthodox Easter Sunday, too, if you celebrate it today.)Otherwise, Happy May Day -- bring on the flowers!



Your Prompt was:

The following unbelievable quote is from an ad for Texas Tech University:

“An interest in zombies led graduate student John Calhoun to build a supercomputer used for serious research, student outreach and tracking zombies.”

(Science New Magazine, April 30, 2016)

If zombies can inspire such brilliance, then your task is to write a poem or story about zombies.

HINT: I abhor violence, so, please make your piece funny, or at least mild.




What I liked most about this piece was the idea of a witchly spell going bad, producing one angry teenaged zombie. Very cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

Lots of description, humor, and sensory. Good job.

Recommendations: Use contractions. Especially for the teen. They never speak like that: I am not leaving the cemetery. (I'm)

Avoid the word "just".

Good ending.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
256
256
Review of President Kroquer  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Orthodox Easter Sunday, too, if you celebrate it today.)Otherwise, Happy May Day -- bring on the flowers!



Your Prompt was:

The following unbelievable quote is from an ad for Texas Tech University:

“An interest in zombies led graduate student John Calhoun to build a supercomputer used for serious research, student outreach and tracking zombies.”

(Science New Magazine, April 30, 2016)

If zombies can inspire such brilliance, then your task is to write a poem or story about zombies.

HINT: I abhor violence, so, please make your piece funny, or at least mild.




What I liked most about this piece was the whole idea of a zombie running for president. Bravo for creativity.



Further Corrections & comments:

aide, not aid.

latest polls came (not cam)

Avoid sentences that start with there are/there is. That's your opportunity to SHOW using sensory:

The TV screen blackened, then rippled with stars and stripes. Music blared. Everyone in the campaign headquarters edged forward as if anticipating the news. etc.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
257
257
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Easter, too, if you celebrate it tomorrow.)




Your Prompt was:

It's the end of the month, you're out of money, and because May 1 falls on a Sunday you've got the whole weekend to be broke. There's no food in the house and you and the kids are hungry. What do you do?



What I liked most about this piece was the fact that she won. Bravo. I was rooting for her even though I don't believe in gambling.



Further Corrections & comments:

Free babysitting? Wow. I didn't know that existed. Lucky her. Very lucky her -- even with a husband in jail.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
258
258
Review of Life Extension  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

At a recent book club meeting, we met in a nearby restaurant. Unfortunately the meeting didn’t go well. One of the club members began to slip into a diabetic coma and ended up being carted off by paramedics. (She’s okay now, however.)

Write about a medical emergency that disrupts a meeting or social occasion.

Poem or story.





What I liked most about this piece was the scene of the action -- quite different and unexpected.



Further Corrections & comments:

Good job of showing. This was nicely done.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
259
259
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

At a recent book club meeting, we met in a nearby restaurant. Unfortunately the meeting didn’t go well. One of the club members began to slip into a diabetic coma and ended up being carted off by paramedics. (She’s okay now, however.)

Write about a medical emergency that disrupts a meeting or social occasion.

Poem or story.





What I liked most about this piece was the beginning of the piece where you described what you were seeing down in the ocean.



Further Corrections & comments:

There were quite a few repetitions: For instance: 25 feet. We don't need to be told that twice.

ascend -- upward

Beth yelled for help as soon as they popped up to the surface. (Who is they?)

Beth started to, started to

off of -- delete of

I really liked the line: "It was brutal to keep up CPR and more brutal to stop." That was vivid. I wish I could have seen the swimmers' faces/actions -- tears, wringing of hands, panting, sobbing . . . etc.






I am so glad I got to read this. It has great potential.

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
260
260
Review of The first  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

Tonight begins Pesach, or Passover, a Jewish holiday that commemorates freedom from slavery. For tomorrow, your story or poem can be about any topic, but must be set on the first night of Pesach.




What I liked most about this piece was the ending, how Aviva turned slowly in the opposite direction. (I agree with her. I've always felt appalled with such horrendous violence.)



Further Corrections & comments:

When jumping backward in time, (Eight months previously) you might want to use a set of asterisks ****** or ~~~~~~, something to imply a break between simple paragraphs. That helps the reader realize that you're showing us a previous event.

Godless aunt's -- godless

I wanted more about this "godless" woman who took her in and cared for her. Didn't she have a kind word to say for her? Wouldn't she have been thankful? (This was especially brought out when you called her that again: "The godless old woman was out on an errand.") I can't really like Aviva when she is so negative about her aunt.

Avoid the word:suddenly. (Aviva heard footsteps approaching and figured it was her aunt returning, but it wasn't. A stranger poked his head into the tent . . . etc.)

I'd ditch the "split second later," too, but that's only an opinion. "Crossing the tiny room in a single bound" was another one. Try to say things in a new way. Avoid expressions whenever possible.


A split-second later, she was on her feet. Crossing the tiny room in a single bound, she scooped up the tangle of blankets lying on the earthen floor.

She jumped to her feet, ran across the room and scooped up . . .

or show us:

"No," she cried out, then scurried/rushed/fled . . .



"As she grabbed hungrily at her child's hand" -- I think that gives a wrong impression -- at least it did for me. Are you sure you want to say hungrily?(is she a cannibal?)


I am so glad I got to read this. This has great potential! You've done a very good job with it.

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
261
261
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

Tonight begins Pesach, or Passover, a Jewish holiday that commemorates freedom from slavery. For tomorrow, your story or poem can be about any topic, but must be set on the first night of Pesach.




What I liked most about this piece were, as usual, the way you describe the world -- this time, the world of fabrication. Marvelous.



Further Corrections & comments:

My favorite: "I seal in sarcophagus the splendor of bloom." I really don't know how you think up such things. It's so impressive.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
262
262
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

Imagine a character who has always had a dog as a companion, but has become allergic to it and must give it away.

Someone then gives him a new pet, one he’s not allergic to. (Exotic pet, alien pet, cat, bird . . . etc.)

Write a story or poem about the character’s discoveries on how different the new pet is. (Crushed expectations or amazing revelations or simple astonishment that all pets don’t react in the same manner to a given stimulus, etc. ????)





What I liked most about this piece was the way you gave us the character through dialogue. Very cute.



Further Corrections & comments:

Good for Midnight. He sounds like my kind of cat. I especially liked the way you illustrated the cry he makes -- "it be like that old pump handle on my well out back all freezed up with rust . . ."



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
263
263
Review of Night Court  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! /c}




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words, in any order, in your story or poem. Bold them for the judge to find.

arraignment
asymptote
anionic
allotrope






What I liked most about this piece was the choice of topic. This was wonderful.



Further Corrections & comments:

IT is a delight to see scientific words used to describe emotion/events. Well done!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
264
264
Review of Threshold  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Use the following words, in any order, in your story or poem. Bold them for the judge to find.

arraignment
asymptote
anionic
allotrope






What I liked most about this piece was the tension that mounted not knowing what was about to happen. Well done.



Further Corrections & comments:

This was very clever. The ending was a chuckle, although a dark one.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
265
265
Review of Cane Mutiny  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Some seniors use canes for more than just helping them to walk.

Imagine a scenario in which your character has developed the habit of punctuating sentences by waving a cane about.

Examples:

~~~ striking the couch when perturbed

~~~ slashing the air whenever a point is made

~~~ using the cane like a wand to conduct unheard music

~~~ gesturing at an object desired

~~~ whipping the air in order to get attention

Don’t forget to describe the person’s cane. I’ve seen interesting carvings, colorful yarn wraps, and gold or silver decorations.




What I liked most about this piece was the way you showed how cleverly he illustrated every sentence. Great variety. Perfect following of the poem and in a marvelous poetical framework, too.



Further Corrections & comments:

I loved the ending. Quite adorable.

if you will, it's own weight -- its



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
266
266
Review of Melted Wax  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

I hereby declare April 2 to be Retribution Day, a chance to take revenge and escalate the Battle of the Pranks that someone started on April 1. Write a story or poem about getting even - or worse - on Retribution Day. (Oh, but you're not allowed to get back at me or any other Cramp judge for the above "prank." Hey, I don't make the rules, I just... okay, I made that rule.)

What I liked most about this piece was that it was perfect in every way.



Further Corrections & comments:

Succinct, imaginative, and great ending.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
267
267
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Easter, too, if you celebrate it today.)




Your Prompt was:

I hereby declare April 2 to be Retribution Day, a chance to take revenge and escalate the Battle of the Pranks that someone started on April 1. Write a story or poem about getting even - or worse - on Retribution Day. (Oh, but you're not allowed to get back at me or any other Cramp judge for the above "prank." Hey, I don't make the rules, I just... okay, I made that rule.)

What I liked most about this piece was that this definitely qualified for the prompt -- in a most horrendous way.



Further Corrections & comments:

I reread and reread the first part. I think you changed genders. If one character was a male and the other a female, then why is the second character referring to her?

Clean that confusion up and I think you'll have a much better tale.

Anyway, this was certainly startling. I wonder who the clown was.



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
268
268
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning! (Happy Easter, too, if you celebrate it today.)




Your Prompt was:

You must title your piece,

A Diamond in the Ruff

And yes, that’s not meant to be Rough.

You can write either a poem or a story,

but your piece must fits the title.




What I liked most about this piece was the alien atmosphere. Marvelous.



Further Corrections & comments:

My favorite line: (felt) his mustache twitch and his cigar straighten as a ballistic missile . . .



I am so glad I got to read this. Nice ending for the piece, too.

Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
269
269
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

My father always told me
That puns are the lowest form of humor. I disagree.
Write about the lowest form of humor (whatever you consider that to be),
and include at least three puns (bolded for the judge to see).

What I liked most about this piece was the fact that even with this prompt, your poetry is full of wonderful wording: I pose like a broken sentence was my favorite.



Further Corrections & comments:I admit that this is not my favorite poem, but you more than met the challenge!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
270
270
Review of Agony and Ecstasy  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Tell us (SHOW US) about you or your character’s participation in a Mud Run. (I looked it up, and it consists of not only running a long way, but oozing yourself through a big pit of mud. According to one blogger, not only are your running shoes destroyed, but every crevice of your body becomes saturated with mud.)


What I liked most about this piece was, as usual, your wonderful descriptions! My favorite was:muck as thick as sparkling, which was not only wonderful full of detail and imagery, but an extremely pleasing mouthful.



Further Corrections & comments:

Perfect ending. This goes down as being one of my favorites from the wide variety of poems you've allowed me to read.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
271
271
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We're nearly a week into Daylight Saving Time here in the US, but I want you to write a story or poem about the related event, Daylight Craving Time.

What I liked MOST about this piece was that last image: while night stays a thin fugitive sans arms, unable to hold.


Further Corrections & comments:

The image of Oliver pleading for more was nice, too.

Good job.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
272
272
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

We're nearly a week into Daylight Saving Time here in the US, but I want you to write a story or poem about the related event, Daylight Craving Time.

What I liked most about this piece was the impatience of the boy. That was something I can identify with.



Further Corrections & comments:

Conversation is a great way to tell a story, but it seemed that there wasn't a lot of action in this piece. You might want to add activities: Joey got out a book and attempted to read. He couldn't get comfortable in the chair so he moved over to lean against a wall, feet stretched upward, head down. Except he couldn't see. The light was lousy. One more reason for hating DST. (Okay, that's pretty lame, but you get the idea. SHOW.)



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
273
273
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

Write a story or poem about discovering a new species of spider.

What I liked most about this piece was the tocsins. I thought at first that you meant toxins, which caused me to reread. My fault, not yours. But giving sound-making ability to this species was clever.



Further Corrections & comments:

Interesting format used.

I loved the last two lines. Brilliant.



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
274
274
Review of Ego Lamps  
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

While reading the newspaper, you stumble across an advertisement for a new product that sounds utterly enticing.

What is the product, what does it promise to do, and why do you (or your character) want it?


What I liked most about this piece was your marvelous idea -- Ego Lamp. I think you've got a money maker here. Too bad you so easily discarded it. LOL



Further Corrections & comments: As usual, it is your images, sprinkled about like piñata candy before the final burst. "Doubt would fold like arms in curl" was my favorite. NICE!



I am so glad I got to read this. Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
275
275
Review by Shaara
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Writer's Cramp Review



Happy, happy morning!




Your Prompt was:

No matter what I do, grass just refuses to establish itself in my yard. Write a story or poem about doing something different with a yard than growing a shiny green lawn.

This sort of met the prompt. I guess. It was something different that happened in the yard.



Further Corrections & comments: This felt unresolved. How did the characters change through this tale? Or was this merely a chapter, or a piece of the chapter from a longer novel?

If that's so, it's a nice scene for building a story of what comes after his departure from the service. Will they/won't they get back together, one wonders.



Thank you for entering the Writer's Cramp. I hope you keep on writing and sharing your work!




Weekend Judge for the Writer's Cramp



Smiles,
S h a a r a



~~Image #1589184 Sharing Restricted~~


Please drop in to see my stories and poems. Or . . .

Go directly to

 
FOLDER
The Bluebird Stories  (ASR)
Stories about a witch world.
#1876841 by Shaara


for some of my witch tales, which I hope to one day turn into a novel.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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