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I really enjoyed this exceptional write about the teachings of the Native American people.

I especially loved the way you show the fight between good and evil exists in both Christianity and Native beliefs.

My favorite part being the last line here -And above all else - when we borrow something that belongs to God, return it as good as it was when we got it.

Write on.
ShiShad

This is a well written and endearing story of a conscientious objector in your platoon in the Vietnam War.

Why anyone would intentionally give this a lower rating than what it deserves is beyond me!

I found it to be; not only interesting, but very informative information about the role a medic plays in his platoon. It gives the reader an insight into the role of the medic 'Bones' here.

A very good write.
Write on.
ShiShad

First of all I would like to thank you for entering my Stroll Down memory Lane contest.

Now on to your review ~

What I Liked/Didn't Like

I like that you started and ended your piece with the same three words.

I really enjoyed the vivid imagery you have used in your story - There was silence on the lake this morning. It was his favorite time of day, really. Not quite light, so the birds were not yet stirring, making their familiar cries as they greeted the new day.
Here you take the reader right to the edge of the lake with you.

I found it a problem with your breaking up this story with too many small paragraphs. It takes away the reader's interest and slows down the flow of the storyline.

Theme

The theme of this story is played out real well. The main character sits alone at the lake and lets his thoughts take him back in time to when his children were young and how he taught them to fish.

It goes back in time to describe thoroughly those days gone by.

Then it ends with a burst of the of the present

Grammar/Spelling
I see no errors here.

I do see a fragmented sentence that you may want to correct here - After the moon had already set, silencing the creatures of the night.

Overall Impression

A good write.

Good luck in the contest.
ShiShad

First of all I would like to thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.

Now on to your review ~

I am rewriting your review for you, because I forgot to make the first one a public review!

First of all I want to thank you for your entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane Contest

What I Liked/Didn't Like

I like that you started and ended your poem with the same three words.

You have followed the prompt you chose very well.

Theme

You have chosen a verse about an old rope swing as your storyline here. The verse begins with the thick nostalgia of the memory of the rope swing, carries the memories throughout, and ends with the pulling of the swing back to childhood youth.

Grammar/Spelling

Looks good.

May I suggest using an apostrophe before the word Twas{/} and neath.

Overall Impression

A very good write following a prompt.

Good Luck in the contest.
ShiShad

First of all I would like to thank you for your second entry in my Stroll Down Memory Lane contest.

Now on to your review ~

What I Liked/Didn't Like

I like that you followed the prompt throughout your write and that you used the same three words to start and end your piece.

It felt like you had chopped off the sentences in a hurry and ended it all too soon!

Theme/ Form

I liked the theme of chidren at play here. Your theme went nicely with the prompt you chose.
I also liked your strict pattern of rhyme and meter you chose for the form.

Favorite Part
My favorite part being~
Happily lost in their own world,
They laugh and cry
Without being shy.
They act like a wild herd!

Overall Impression

I fun write to read; that I only wished would have been a longer one.

Good luck in the contest
Write on.
ShiShad