Greetings Reggie B ! I came across your poem on the "Review Request" page and have chosen to send you a review on behalf of the PDG reviewing group. Please Note:The following is simply my interpretation and opinion. Take it as you will.
Initial Impression- I liked the basic, underlying message of staying true to yourself that runs throughout the piece. If there's one thing that I've learned as I've grown older, it's that it doesn't matter so much how others feel about you, but how you feel about yourself. If you can be content with who you are at the end of the day, no matter what life throws at ya, then who cares what others think.
How's The Flow?- You mentioned that this is your first poem, and it shows a bit in the flow of your piece. Fortunately it's a pretty simple fix.
This definitely is classified as a free-verse style of poem, and as such there isn't really a defined rhythm or flow, but at the same time, the way it's laid out makes for a bit of a tricky read. I find a poem is easier to digest if you keep the lines somewhat uniform-- basically chop what you have into bite-sized snippets. I'll illustrate what I mean with your first verse :
When I was a girl, I was just me. I lived in my own imaginary world.
So called friends would tease, and others would laugh.
But I was content with being just me.
... now with a little bit of cut and paste :
When I was a girl, I was just me.
I lived in my own imaginary world.
So called friends would tease,
and others would laugh.
But I was content with being just me.
Nothing has to be rewritten, just move some words around is all.
The Rhymes- (where applicable) Since this is what I would call a free-verse poem, no rhymes are really expected, so I guess this doesn't apply.
Imagery- The imagery is a little light, but given the subject of the poem, I wasn't expecting waving, flowery meadows and fragrant, cherry blossoms. This seems more of an introspective piece, and as such, you've focused more on experiences as a whole instead of wordy descriptions of the experiences. This works well in the context of the poem, although I feel there could be a bit more detail regarding how you tried to live up to society's norms, but were happier just being yourself.
Errors/ Suggestions- Apart from the things already mentioned, I found no flaws in the grammar, spelling or punctuation.
Overall- I liked the positive message that comes from so many negative experiences. I think this could be a really inspirational poem for someone who doesn't know where they fit in the grand scheme of things and could help them to understand it's ok to be who they are. Unless they're an axe-murderer or something I suppose. But anyway, nice job on your first poem, and keep on being the poetic you
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