spidey's (spidergirl) Reviews

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]

180

#2723594

Review of The River Mouth

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi there LostAsStardust

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

This is my review for "The River Mouth"

Overall Thoughts:

I really enjoyed this poem! I like the feeling of indecision, particularly expressed in the last three lines of the poem. For me, the poem contained a lot of emotion and feeling, which is clearly expressed through carefully chosen words. Nicely done!

I also enjoyed your use of capitalization and punctuation. For me, the punctuation really helped me while reading through the poem, and the capitalization pointed to important words, words that hold a deep meaning to the speaker of the poem. I think you made some wise choices here.

Extremely descriptive words! The words you've chosen to use really push the images and emotions onto the reader, making the poem a joy to read!

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

My only suggestion would be to further develop the poem and the ideas presented to the reader. For me, this felt like it just scratched the surface of a larger scene, a larger meaning. I'd love to see more of a contrast between the nature images and the feeling of the speaker vs. the object of the poem. I'd like to see the speaker struggle with his/her emotions a bit more, perhaps coming to a conclusion (or not). I think just a little more would add a sense of closure for the reader, and it would also give the reader a greater idea of what is going on here. Just my thoughts.

My Rating

4.0 - An excellent start! You've got a way with words and imagery! For me, the poem felt a tad unfinished or like it could be developed just a bit more. I enjoyed reading your work! Keep it up!

Sincerely,

"Noticing Newbies"

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]

181

#2718885

Review of Chick Flick Quiz

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi and thanks for entering my contest, "Invalid Item"

I truly enjoyed your quiz, though I must admit that I've only seen a handful of the films in the quiz. Even though I hadn't seen many of them, the quiz was still fun and I enjoyed guessing.

I do want to say that some of your questions involve mentions of sex, which calls for a higher rating of your quiz. A 13+ rating would be appropriate here.

Thanks for entering! Keep an eye on the next Contests & Activities Newsletter to see if you've won!

~ spidey

182

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14 days may be credited.

#2688560

Review of Religion now vs. Where you are born

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi ~~Mc Young~~

!

This is my review for " Religion now vs. Where you are born"

[E].

General Thoughts:

Hiya

I just had to comment on this poll, because I think it's a really good question that will have people thinking (or they should be thinking about it, anyway).

Strengths

I like that you explain your reason for asking the question, and that this is more than a "yes/no" type of question.

Good choices in this poll! I think you've covered the majority of answers you'd get from a question like this. I like that the tone of the poll is very friendly and unbiased. I think that helps to get honest feedback from a poll based on religion.

Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

and the religion teachings that they taught you at that young age,
I believe "religion" should be

religious

would their be a greater chance that you would believe in that religion today,
their

there

Title/Rating/Genres:

The title made me want to click on the poll to see what this was about. I think it's a good attention-grabber.

Your ratings are appropriate.

If you wished, you could also use a few more genres (that way the poll will show up when users are browsing genres), like "Cultural," "Personal," and/or "Spiritual." It's up to you of course.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

My only other suggestion would be to perhaps find a way to simplify your main question. It's a little long which might make it harder to understand what it is you're asking. Perhaps if you worded it more like a hypothetical situation, like:

Let's say you were born in another country, and were raised to believe in that culture, the people and the religious teachings that they taught you at that young age. Would there be a greater chance that you would believe in that religion today, or would you still believe in the one you believe in now?

Just my thoughts. Ultimately, it's up to you.

My Rating

4.0 - I really enjoyed this poll! It's a thought-provoking question, and you've presented it well with a great variety of choices. Good work!

Keep it up!

Sincerely,
spidey

** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **

183

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#2685653

Review of House

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (3.5)

Hi there AEMoseley

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

This is my review for "House"

Overall Thoughts:

A creepy poem! I liked how you contrast normal images (the Mother and Father, for instance) with eerie ones, like ghosts and rats. I also enjoyed the poem's form, four line unrhyming stanzas. For me, it added a feel of structure and movement in the poem. I also liked how the end of the poem tied in with the beginning.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

The poem's rating should be raised. The line: And where screams have been killed requires an ASR rating due to the word "killed."

The poem feels a bit short to me. Perhaps you're planning on adding a bit more, another stanza or two? It felt unfinished, I think. I love what you have here so far, and I'd love to see more!

Also, you may want to experiment with punctuation. For me, punctuation highly enhances a poem's flow and rhythm. It lets the reader know where you intend pauses or breaks. You might want to consider using punctuation in this poem. Just my thoughts.

My Rating

3.5 - I think you've got a great start here! You've got some great imagery, and I love the form! For me, the poem could use a little more development. I did enjoy reading it very much. Thank you for sharing your work!

Keep on writing!

Sincerely,
spidey
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **

"Noticing Newbies"

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]

184

#2684747

Review of Hook

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi there comehere

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

This is my review for "Hook"

[E]

Overall Thoughts:

I love the rhythm of this poem! It really makes it enjoyable to read. I like the internal rhyme of the first two lines. I also liked that the rhyme scheme shifts. For me, that moved the poem forward and also made it enjoyable to read.

Good use of punctuation, too! For me, punctuation is really important in setting the rhythm and the flow of a poem, and I think you've done well here.

I think a lot of writers can identify with this poem and its subject matter.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I don't think you need the word "lame" in the intro.

I like your writing in this poem. I think the rhyme scheme is rather unique, and I enjoyed reading it. To me, this poem isn't lame, so I don't think you should be telling your readers that it is. Just my thoughts.

You have this listed as "Other" for the item type, when I think "Poetry" would work better. Also, feel free to use a few genres, perhaps Writing or Experience. That way people will find your work while browsing genres on the site.

I think the poem could also be longer. Perhaps this is just the first stanza of a larger work? I think you've got a great start here, but I'd love to see more!

My Rating

3.5 - A great start! I love the mechanics and form of this poem. For me, it could be a bit longer to be a truly successful poem, though I did very much enjoy reading it. Thank you for sharing your work!

Keep on writing!

Sincerely,
spidey

"Noticing Newbies"

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

[13+]
** Image ID #1284498 Unavailable **

185

#2668160

Review of The Nightmare Before Christmas Crossword

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ~MorningStorm~

!

This is my review for "The Nightmare Before Christmas Crossword"

[E]. I was browsing Crossword Puzzles this morning and I was glad to see this one.

Overall Thoughts:

I'm a big fan of The Nightmare Before Christmas, so I was excited to try this one out. I think you've asked a good variety of questions. I would think that most people who've seen the movie and know a little about it would be able to complete this quiz without a problem.

I like that you have a lot of questions here, and the answers vary in length. It made the puzzle fun to complete.

I also like that you included your reason behind creating this puzzle in the intro.

Title/Rating/Genres:

Straightforward title and intro. It tells the reader exactly what to expect.

Good choices for ratings and genres. They're well-chosen for the item. If you wished, you could also use "Holiday" as a genre.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I can't think of a single suggestion! This crossword is perfect as it is!

My Rating

5.0 - An excellent crossword puzzle. Thanks for the fun!

Sincerely,

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186

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#2664985

Review of If An Alien Spacecraft Landed

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

!

This is my review for "If An Alien Spacecraft Landed"

[ASR]
Thanks for your entry in

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

This item number is not valid.
#1324566 by Not Available.

Overall Thoughts:

Great question! I find aliens/UFOs quite interesting, so I was excited to see the topic of this one!

You have great voting choices, but I think you missed one - "Run away screaming!"

Just kidding! (I took a class on UFOs in college, the only one like it in the country I'm told, and it was really sort of frightening!) Anyway, I like your choices here! I like that this has a comical feel to it, and it forced me to think about what I would do if I couldn't run away screaming. Good job!

Title/Rating/Genres:

Great title and intro! It definitely pulled me in, made me want to read and vote in your poll.

Good choice for ratings. They're appropriate for the item.

I'm not sure the genre "Contest" fits here, as that's usually reserved for contests themselves. I think you could also use "Comedy" or even "Sci-Fi" if you wished for genres.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

My only suggestion would be to perhaps make the intro a little longer, perhaps more detail to the question or even an image or some WritingML to spice it up a bit. Just a thought.

My Rating

4.5 - A great and entertaining poll! Thanks for the fun!

Sincerely,

This image was created through "Invalid Item"

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187

#2664929

Review of How Many Licks?

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Contorted Cookie

!

This is my review for "How Many Licks?"

[E]
Thanks for your entry in

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

This item number is not valid.
#1324566 by Not Available.

Overall Thoughts:

Great question and topic! A classic question! My husband, sister and I once sat down and performed this experiment. I voted for the "Approximately 364" choice because I think that's around the number we decided upon.

Great variety of choices! It looks like your viewers think so, too, as each choice seems to have gotten a few votes. I think that shows that you have a good variety here of the choices most would consider.

Title/Rating/Genres:

Good title and intro! I would think that most people would know exactly what to expect inside this poll. Great job!

Good choice of ratings and genres. Very appropriate. I think you could also use "Food/Cooking" as a genre if you wished.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

My only suggestion would be to add some WritingML or perhaps an image to go along with this poll.

My Rating

4.0 - Great poll! A classic question with great choices!

Keep up the awesome work!

Sincerely,

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188

#2664925

Review of Dream Assignment

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi TariElanesse

!

This is my review for "Dream Assignment"

[E]
Thanks for your entry in

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

This item number is not valid.
#1324566 by Not Available.

Overall Thoughts:

Great intro! I love that you explain the purpose behind this, where you got the idea, etc. I think it makes the viewers more interested in the poll and its results, and it will help increase votes. Great job!

Very interesting dreams! I voted that the second one is the real dream. I'm very curious to know if I'm right.

Great choices for the viewers! I'm very surprised at the results!

Title/Rating/Genres:

Good title and intro. I think they do well to capture the interest of viewers.

Your ratings and genres seem appropriate and well-chosen.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

My only suggestion would be to have a way of letting viewers know which is the real dream and which is fiction. Perhaps you could have the results in another static item and link to it. I suppose you could just reply to any who send a review/comment. That could help get more ratings & reviews, but you could also mention that to viewers. Something like, "If you send a review, I'll let you know the correct answer." Just a thought.

My Rating

4.5 - Very creative and interesting poll! I had fun viewing and voting in it!

Keep up the great work!

Sincerely,

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189

#2657287

Review of Insomnia

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hi Elliott Klaassen

!

Thanks for stopping by "Invalid Item"

and helping me reach my goal.

This is my review for "Insomnia"

[18+].

Overall Thoughts:

I like that the first few lines set up a sense of Nature. For me, the mention of rain and the deer-skin parka created an interesting tone, of the character being at one with nature. That made me sympathize and identify with the character immediately. I think that works really well particularly because of what is revealed next, that the character has committed murder.

Even before I read the last line (mentioning a mythology series), I had a good sense of "mythology" or even "fantasy" to this piece. It's a subtle feel, which I think works really well. I like that this feels other-wordly yet very realistic at the same time. I think that is due in part to the first person point-of-view. I felt very connected to this piece because I was seeing it through the main character's eyes. Good job!

I also enjoyed the use of italics for thoughts. It was a good way to reveal the character's name, and it helped show the conflict within the character. You do very well at subtly revealing information to the reader. Well done!

Title/Rating/Genres:

I didn't quite see how the title related to the piece. Perhaps I just missed something?

I'm not sure you should use the word "emo" in your intro. Perhaps it's just my own qualms with the word, but I think it could also keep some people from reading this. I didn't find it particularly "emo-ish" as you say it is. It's up to you, of course!

Your ratings and genres fit very well. If you wanted, I think you could also use "Mythology" and/or "Fantasy" as a genre.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

that I had a duel personality,
I think "duel" should be

dual
(duel is a combat between two persons; dual means double)

A sudden burst of hysteric laughter burst from my chest.
Using the same word in close proximity ("burst") isn't necessarily wrong, but it can be jarring to the reader. You may want to change one of them to another word. Perhaps something like: A sudden burst of hysteric laughter erupted from my chest.

The tense in this piece of fiction switches several times. It starts in present tense (Rain pours), but often switches to past tense. For instance:

But I don't feel bad for them, no squeamish feeling came to my stomach as I looked at the thirty-six dead, mutilated bodies in front of me.

"don't" is present tense, while "came" and "looked" are past tense.

You may want to take a look through this again and edit to keep the tense consistent. I do think this piece works well in the present tense, but that choice is up to you.

My other suggestion would be to continue writing this! It definitely feels like an incredibly powerful scene in a much larger work. I'd love to see the rest of the story!

My Rating

4.0 - I enjoyed this piece of writing. The shifts in tense jarred me a little, but othern than that your writing is excellent! I hope you'll continue this!

Sincerely,

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190

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14 days may be credited.

#2639700

Review of Sherri Gibson an Angel Among Us

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi !

This is my review for "Sherri Gibson an Angel Among Us"

[E].
Thanks for your entry in

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

This item number is not valid.
#1324566 by Not Available.

Overall Thoughts:

You entered two word searches. The rules state, however, that only one entry will be accepted, so I'm only counting the first one.

What a thoughtful way to show appreciation for another member! I loved the idea of this word search! I'm glad you explained your reason for choosing it in your intro!

Good selection of words! I like that you have longer and shorter words/phrases mixed together. It makes a good variety for viewers to find. Good job!

Title/Rating/Genres:

Good title and intro! Descriptive and I'm sure anyone who knows Sherri (which is pretty much everyone) will click on and enjoy this word search!

Your ratings and genres are well-chosen and appropriate.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

Just one thing - One of your phrases is "3 of Hearts." Numbers don't show up in word searches, so the phrase I found was "of hearts." I still found it, but I thought I'd point that out, anyway.

My Rating

4.5 - A great word search! Thanks for your entry! Winners will be posted in my next newsletter, which will be out in a few days!

Thanks!

Sincerely,

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191

#2636713

Review of The Verdict

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi ahmmburr

!

Thanks for stopping by "Invalid Item"

and helping me reach my goal.

This is my review for "The Verdict"

[13+].

Overall Thoughts:

This has a very interesting structure to it. Particularly at the start of the poem, your lines are very long. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I couldn't tell where some of the lines were intended to finish. At the start, it read more like a short story or monologue.

I like that this is very straightforward, with the speaker of the poem talking to the object of the poem. It's like a private conversation that is overheard.

I loved this line:
Where the color red doesn’t make you flinch,
For me, that was the turning point in the poem. After that point, the poem felt like a true poem. Before that, it felt more like a monologue or one-sided conversation.

Title/Rating/Genres:

I like the title very much. It captured my interest.

Your ratings and are well-chosen.

I think you could use another genre in place of "Contest" for this. I believe the Contest genre is generally used for contests themselves, rather than contest entries. Upon reading the title, I immediately thought of the Crime genre, and I think that one might fit here. Also, Death or Tragedy could work, too. It's up to you in the end, of course.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

My only suggestion would be to take another look at your form. Perhaps you are unaware of the line lengths at the start of the poem? I think the structure could confuse some readers at first.

My Rating

4.0 - A good poem! I enjoyed reading this! For me, the structure cold be a little stronger, but overall I really liked this poem. Thank you for sharing it!

Keep on writing!

Sincerely,

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192

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14 days may be credited.

#2636048

Review of Shopping Spree!

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Stik to My Own Beat

!

Thanks for your entry in "Invalid Item"

This is my review for "Shopping Spree!"

[E].

Overall Thoughts:

What a cool idea for a word search! I really liked the variety of words you used here. For some reason, "Jersey" was the hardest for me to find.

I like your intro, how you explain the idea behind the word search. I particularly liked, "You are free to browse my shops if some of the words baffle you or pique your interests." Some of the words definitely piqued my interest, like "mayaca" and "comma splices."

Title/Rating/Genres:

Great title and intro! I think many people will click on your word search due to the attention-grabbing title and intro.

Your ratings and genres are very well chosen.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not.

(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I honestly can't think of any suggestions for this. It's a perfect word search! I did have a problem, but I don't think it was your fault, perhaps something strange with the system. One word (Calendars) showed twice in the list, and to find the second, I had to highlight the one I already found. It also didn't get crossed off the search list, though the puzzle timer stopped and it said I was finished. Strange, but I don't think that was your fault.

My Rating

5.0 - An excellent word search! Thanks for the fun!

Sincerely,

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193

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14 days may be credited.

#2635696

Review of Subtextual Lexical X Box

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi the last cicada

!

Thanks for your entry in