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Review Requests: ON
1,174 Public Reviews Given
1,606 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Religion, Sports
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poetry, Essays
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels (I just don't have that much time)
I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
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Review of Close To Tears  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Adore ♥ 19 Years WDC! ♥ !

This is my review for "Close To Tears [E]. This review is given in connection with "Invalid Item

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I love the contrast in the first two lines. You've presented a quiet image of grass rustling in the wind, yet your speaker comments, "It seems quite loud today." That line creates an interesting conflict at the start of the poem. It caught my interest, and made me want to keep reading.

*Bullet* I loved this line:
Drown deep in him
So simple, yet filled with emotion!

*Bullet* Great form! I loved the free verse style to this poem. It felt like an outpouring of emotion from the speaker. Great choice of form!


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Great title!

*Bullet* Your ratings and genres are perfectly chosen for this poem. *Smile*


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

*Bullet* My only suggestion would be to perhaps add a bit more punctuation in this. I had a difficult time in some spots, determining pauses and flow. I think punctuation can be an effective tool in helping a writer convey those things to the reader. Just my suggestion. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Wonderful poem! I really enjoyed this, and I can see why you won in a poetry contest with this!

Great job! Keep writing! *Smile*



Sincerely,
spidey
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Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Adore ♥ 19 Years WDC! ♥ !

This is my review for "The Abyss That Is You [13+]. This review is given in connection with "Invalid Item


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* Such beautiful imagery, starting with the first line! I could see exactly what you described by Eyes blue like the sky on a warm summer's day Stunning!

*Bullet* I love the contrast between that line and the rest of the stanza. It goes from warm imagery, to "dark and cold," "frigid stare" and "frozen dreams." Wonderful contrast! And then it ends on warmth again. Nicely done!

*Bullet* Interesting rhyme scheme. The first two lines don't rhyme, but the last three do. This created an interesting flow to the poem for me.


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Love the title! I also loved the intro! Both captured my interest immediately.

*Bullet* Good choice of genres.

*Bullet* I don't see anything to make this rated 13+. I think it could be rated E, but that's up to you. *Smile*


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

*Bullet* I felt the contrast could have been played upon even more. You have one line of warmth, three lines of coldness, and one line that suggests warmth. For me, I would have liked to see a strong image with the last line like you had for the first. Your last line:
Though his heart she wishes to share
This just didn't pack the same punch as the rest of the poem, and it left me feeling disappointed a little bit. I know you can write strong and powerful imagery, so I think I was just surprised by this last line.

*Bullet* This poem felt a bit unfinished. You've done very well in conveying your message/theme to the reader, but it was done so quickly. I enjoyed your language and imagery in this so much that I really wanted more of it. Perhaps you could consider adding another stanza or two? *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Good poem and good writing! For me, this poem needs a little bit of work to truly shine, but I think you're a great poet! You have a talent for conveying emotion and imagery to the reader.

Thank you for sharing your work. Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review of Love Scars  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi Adore ♥ 19 Years WDC! ♥ !

This is my review for "Love Scars [ASR]. This review is given in connection with "Invalid Item

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I like the idea of this, that love can hurt, but true love shouldn't. Very interesting concept!

*Bullet* I like the irregular form of this and the converstional tone of the poem. It's like a private conversation between two former lovers, and the reader gets a glimpse of the emotions running between the two. Nicely done!

*Bullet* My favorite line:
We scraped and clawed at one another, words revealing our deepest fears,
This kind of language really strengthened the poem in my eyes, and made the themes and visuals stand out while I was reading it.



Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Great title and the intro let me know this was written for a contest.

*Bullet* Great choice of genres, and your ratings are perfect.



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


*Bullet* To me, this poem was a little uneven, and perhaps that was your intention. It starts off with simple, straightforward language, like
When I met you, I fell so hard.
You wanted love, as I did too.


and then the imagery gets so much stronger, with more emotion and passion:
We scraped and clawed at one another, words revealing our deepest fears,
So desperate for the love yet, too afraid to be sincere.


For me, the second two lines worked so much better at conveying the emotion and feeling of the speaker. I'm not sure if it was your intention to shift the tone a bit, but it didn't work well for me. I would have liked to see the intensity of those second two lines throughout the poem. *Smile*


*Bullet* I also felt the poem could have been just a little longer. I felt like just as I was getting to understand the characters and voices in this, it ended. For me, I would have liked to see at least one more stanza. Just a suggestion. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

3.5 - Good work! For me, this poem seemed a tad inconsistent (though I'm not sure if that was intentional or not), and it could have been a little longer, but I did enjoy reading it very much. Thank you for sharing your work!

Keep on writing!


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review of Shimmy and Roscoe  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Adore ♥ 19 Years WDC! ♥ !

This is my review for "Shimmy and Roscoe [E]. This review is given in connection with "Invalid Item

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I love the contrast in this, of comedy vs horror. The whole story has a bit of a creepy feel to it, with the darkness and blustery winds, yet the main character is having a one-sided conversation with her dog, which lends a comical tone to the entire piece. It made it really fun to read, and I had an instant connection with Shimmy and Rosoe.

*Bullet* Very interesting character names! They're unique and different, yet familiar enough to make them easy to read.

*Bullet* This story is very well-written, with good grammar and lots of visual details. I think you do well in engaging your reader with this. Everything is explained well, without being overdone, and the friendly tone to this really helps the reader connect with the story. Well done!


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Great title! It made me click on this item in your port, because I wanted to know what this story was about.

*Bullet* Ratings and genres are perfect! You could use the Animal genre if you wanted, too.



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

*Bullet* This feels incomplete. According to your intro, you wrote this for a writing prompt challenge, but you also have this listed as "Short Story." For me, it just didn't feel like a complete story. This is a great beginning, one that captures the reader's interest immediately and engages the reader throughout. For me, though, it just didn't feel finished.


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Good work! I'd love if you continued with this story, as I can't help but wonder what's going to happen next!

Thank you for sharing this! Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review of Captive  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Adore ♥ 19 Years WDC! ♥ !

This is my review for "Captive [13+]. This review is being given in connection with "Invalid Item

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* This is so beautiful! I'm amazed at what you've done with three short lines! This conveys so much emotion. I loved it!

*Bullet* I think this poem truly shows that you can convey a great deal of emotion and passion in very little words, as long as those words are chosen carefully, like you have done here. I loved the use of the word "watch" in the second line. In this line, the word is being used to reference keeping watch, or observing, though the poem deals with time, so I liked that reference here.

*Bullet* I like the minimal use of punctuation. It really affects the poem, by emphasizing the simplicity of this. For me, the poem really showcases the range of emotion. On the surface, it can seem very simple (like this short poem), yet there is such a range of complexity involved with the emotion you've described here. Very well done! *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Great title and description!

*Bullet* I didn't see anything that required this to be rated 13+. I think the rating could be lower, but that's your call. *Smile*

*Bullet* Great choice of genres!


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

Drowning in loves painful watch
I think "loves" requires an apostrophe *Right* love's painful watch


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Wonderful job with this poem! I truly enjoyed this.


Thank you for sharing your work! Keep on writing!


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Illyria !

This is my review for " Do you believe in ghosts? [E]. I found this poem while viewing the public reviewing page. Another review of the item sparked my interest, so I thought I'd check it out. I'm very glad I did! *Smile*

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* This is a great topic that I think almost everyone has an opinion on. Great universal topic!

*Bullet* I like how you set up your question, by giving your own thoughts on the subject. I like that you explain a bit how you come up with the terms "believer" and "deceiver."

*Bullet* Your use of WritingML makes the question stand out to the reader. Good job!

*Bullet* Mostly good choices. I like that you include, "I've seen something, but I don't think it was a ghost." I think you cover all possible choices.


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Great title! It's descriptive and telling of what's inside.

*Bullet* Your ratings and genres are well-chosen for the topic.


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

something more then death.
then should be *Right* than


*Bullet* I got a little confused with the poll options. I wasn't sure the difference between "Yes, I believe!" and "Yes, I am a believer!" I don't believe you've distinguished that difference in your opening and question.

*Bullet* Also, I'm not so sure witches and ghosts can be easily lumped together like this. By witches, do you mean the classical sense or Wiccans? Are you asking if viewers believe magic is real? For me, magic and ghosts aren't quite the same thing. In the end, it's up to you, of course, but I wanted to let you know that I had a little bit of trouble with these two concepts being combined in one poll. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

3.5 - A nice poll. I enjoyed this! Thanks for creating this poll. *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I like big books #2233315 !

This is my review for "The Talent Pond Group Items [E].

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* Wonderful set-up for this folder! I like the simple header, and the links to the monthly "catches." Like your forums, this is viewer-friendly and easy to navigate. Great job! *Smile*

*Bullet* Every item in this folder is just perfect! You've put a lot of work and effort into this group, and it shows! Thank you for letting me be a part of it for a short time! I'm so glad I was "caught!"

*Bullet* I love the Talent Pond logo on this folder! It's creative and beautiful! *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Title, ratings and genres are all perfectly suited for this folder. Well done! *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

5.0 - Absolutely perfect! *Bigsmile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I like big books #2233315 !

This is my review for "Are you giving quality reviews? [E]. I've emailed most of my thoughts on this piece, but I wanted to publicly review it and give it some shiny stars. *Bigsmile*

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I think you're a whiz at formatting and using WritingML to make items viewer-friendly. Although this offers a big chunk of information, you present it in a way that's easy to follow and holds the interest of your reader.

*Bullet* You link so many other useful items here! There were few that I wasn't aware of, so thank you!

*Bullet* I couldn't agree more with your statements in this (particularly: Reading is an important part of growing as an author.) I know that I've learned SO much as a writer being a part of this community (even more than I did in college, I think). Reviewing is really an invaluable part of this site!

*Bullet* I like that you also offer this item as "your thoughts on reviewing." Like all things, there are many valid opinions on writing, and you're not presenting this as "truth" or something like that. These are your thoughts based on your experiences with reviewing. That's the viewer-friendly aspect again! Reviewing can be a daunting thing for newer (or older) members, and I think you do well in presenting reviewing in a friendly, helpful way. *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* I like the title! It engages the reader and catches their interest.

*Bullet* Good choice of ratings and genres. (If you wanted to, you could also use Writing.com as a genre, though your choices fit very well)


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


*Bullet* My only suggestion would be to add to this over time. As you learn more about reviewing and as your style may change, reflect upon that in your item. I know in my three years here, my reviewing style and thoughts upon reviewing have changed slightly, and I think it's good to think about that change.


*Star*My Rating*Star*

5.0 - Wonderful piece on reviewing! I think everyone can benefit from reading this! *Bigsmile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Ailannah Mathis !

This is my review for "Once Upon A Zombie Story [18+]. I found this item at "Please Review. With a title like this, I just had to read it! *Bigsmile*


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I love the opening line! You set up the story so well here. The word "Mission" implies some kind of military operation, and "violet orbs" suggests an "other world" kind of feel.

*Bullet* I love the bits of humor in this, too.
The reincarnated flesh-craving deviants had risen from the grave with the sole intent to make her day worse.
Calling the zombies "deviant" is a nice touch, too!

Vladimir the Short.
*Laugh* This made me giggle!

*Bullet* Great dialogue! Every word was believable, and I loved the interaction between the characters.

*Bullet* You also did a good job with characterization. I had a clear vision of each character and their personality.


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* I think the violence in this exceeds a moderate level, therefore it should be rated 18+. Also, your intro rating can be E (you have it marked as Non-E currently).

*Bullet* Love the title!

*Bullet* Good choice of genres, though with the inclusion of zombies, you could also use "Supernatural," I think.


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
(In reference to any grammar/spelling suggestions these are suggestions made with my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

Brushing a curl of blood out of her eyes,
Is "blood" really the word you meant here? I had a tough time visualizing this. (As I read later in the story, she has red hair. Is that what you meant? For me, this would have worked a little better if you had written something like, "Brushing a curl the color of blood out of her eyes.")


Sighing, she glanced at her eyes.
This seemed a bit awkward to me. Is she looking in a mirror? You may want to clarify this a little.


They're just not scared of use yet."
I think this might be a typo, "use" instead of "us" *Blush*


*Bullet* There are a few places where you need a space in between paragraphs, like in after "Cap'n. The recruits are here.", and between that paragraph and the next.

*Bullet* Is this a finished story? For me, it felt like it just started when you ended it. I absolutely love what you have here so far, so I just wanted more by the end. I do hope you continue the story. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Great start! You've got a talent for description and detail. I really enjoyed this, though it felt a bit incomplete to me. I hope that you'll continue this as part of a larger work, a series or novel, perhaps.

Thank you for sharing your work. Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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Review of Cessation  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there Violet

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Cessation


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* Wow, beautiful language! I really loved this phrase:
for month of Sundays
That simple phrase says so much! I love that I don't quite understand everything that is said here. I like poetry that takes a couple readings to really get the feel to it. Nicely done!

*Bullet* Great use of WritingML! I love the colors. They fit perfectly with the poem.

*Bullet* I also like the lack of punctuation. In most cases, I think it's needed, but in this poem, it works very well to focus the reader's attention on the words in the poem.



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

slips away threw division
I believe "threw" should be "through," but this may be a regional spelling. If it is, keep it the way that it is. *Blush*

*Bullet* My only suggestion would be to add more. I really loved this, and I felt myself saddened by its abrupt end. Perhaps you could consider adding a few more lines? *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Great job with this! I truly enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing your work.

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

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"Noticing Newbies [13+]
"Reviewing @ Writing.Com [E]
"Content Rating System (CRS) [13+]
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Review of My Virgo  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Amanda

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "My Virgo.


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* Beautiful and striking imagery here!

*Bullet* Great use of alliteration! The repeating sounds worked really well to affect the flow and sound of the poem. I particularly liked these lines:
Lost in lust and longing

*Bullet* I also like your use of punctuation in this. For me, it helped me know where to pause and which words had more emphasis.



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*
As the kiss of heaven's diamonds shimmers
For me, having an "s" sound on the end of three consecutive words made me pause while reading. "heaven's diamonds shimmers" is difficult to say without effort. You might want to consider revising this line. It's ultimately up to you, the writer, but I wanted to let you know that I had a little trouble with this line. *Smile*

A kiss poke words of
I wasn't sure if you meant "a kiss spoke words of" here, as that made more sense to me. I thought it might be a typo. *Blush*


*Bullet* I like the title, but the description gets cut off (probably due to the character limit. For me, it would be stronger if it was shorter and a complete phrase. Just a suggestion.

*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Good poem! I really enjoyed this! Thank you for sharing it.

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
"Invalid Item

** Image ID #1301506 Unavailable **
"Noticing Newbies [13+]
"Reviewing @ Writing.Com [E]
"Content Rating System (CRS) [13+]
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Review of Hyperbole  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kraken through the Snow !

This is my review for "Hyperbole [13+]. I found this item by browsing the Comedy genre. *Smile*

Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I love that this explains hyperbole in an easy to understand (and entertaining) way. I think many writers can really learn from reading this. *Smile*

*Bullet* Your writing is clear and to the point, with a great use of puns. I loved these two lines:

Though I state I’m so hungry I'd eat a horse,
Chances are good there won’t be a mane course.


*Bullet* Thanks for also including the definition and pronunciation for hyperbole. Nice touch!


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Your title and description fit perfectly. Your genres and ratings are also well-chosen. *Smile*


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* No suggestions. This is perfect!



*Star*My Rating*Star*

5.0 - Excellent poem illustrating the use of hyperbole. I'll be listing this as one of my picks in next week's Comedy Newsletter. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey

beautiful sig from Shannon's Sig Shack
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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there Basilides


This is my review for "Is there Scientific Proof of God?


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* This is incredibly well-written, and well-presented. Kudos!

*Bullet* Your presentation of this essay is excellent. You introduce your topic immediately and in an interesting way. Your argument and evidence are also presented clearly and factually. I could easily follow the entire essay, and your conclusion made perfect sense.

*Bullet* This is honestly one of the best essays I've read in a long time, regardless of whether or not I agree with its argument.



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

thinking itself is one of the least natural things you can do.
I'm not sure I agree with this. I find thinking quite natural, and really, it only serves to promote the survival of humankind. Agreeing or disagreeing with this statement is my subjective response as a reader. As a writer, I wonder if saying this will tend to "insult" or offend your reader unintentionally. Perhaps you could reasonably explain why thinking may not be considered natural?



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Excellent essay! I enjoyed this very much! Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us. Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

beautiful sig from Shannon's Sig Shack
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Review of Mark Of Respect  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Ann Ticipation


This is my review for "Mark Of Respect


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* Such a thoughtful, genuine tribute! I enjoyed reading this very much. *Smile*

*Bullet* I absolutely love the structure of this poem! I love the rhyme scheme and its rhythm. Beautifully done! *Smile*

*Bullet* I also love the image and description. I think the poem wouldn't be the same without it. Very touching and personal. *Smile*

*Bullet* I like that this poem includes some tragic imagery and themes, yet does so with much emphasis on hope. This is truly a well-done tribute.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

I want all to know I really care
I think it may just be me, but I find the word "really" to feel a little insincere. For me, "truly" might have worked better. It's totally up to you, the writer, but I wanted to let you know how I felt about the line. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

5.0 - This poem is perfect! Well done! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi there HereIsNoWhy?

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Far Too Many Chemicals.


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* This poem is brilliant! What I think is missing from a lot of otherwise successful poetry is "voice" and you clearly have this mastered!

*Bullet* I love the prose feel to this poem. It's almost like stream-of-consciousness, like the speaker's thoughts just poured out onto the page/screen. It creates such a personal and emotional feel to this poem.

*Bullet* I also love that there is no strict form to this poem. That could have ruined the effect you've created with the language. I like that some lines are very long, while others are very short. The repetition also works very well.

*Bullet* To be quite honest, there is nothing I didn't like about this poem!



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* For starters, I'd suggest changing the description. *Wink* From seeing the other ratings on this combined with my own thoughts, your description of "Just tell me how pathetic this is" doesn't fit at all! This is a great, powerful, effective poem!

*Bullet* My only other thought would be to keep going with this poem. It could be longer than it is (though not too much longer, or you may risk losing the attention of your readers). I do like it as it is now, but if you wanted to add more, I think you could. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Excellent poem! I loved this!

Thank you for sharing your work! Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Words  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there WALLEE

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Words


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* I love the message in this! It's such a great image, the contrast between the permanent "written word" and the seemingly temporary "spoken word." You've done well in comparing the two.

*Bullet* I love your use of punctuation! It really helped the flow of the poem as I was reading. Well done! *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* There seemed to be no regular rhyme scheme here. The first two lines rhyme, then the second pair, then the next three lines rhyme, and there is even one line that doesn't rhyme with any others. For me, the rhyming took away from the poem a little. I would love to see what you can do without rhyming, since you have a clear vision of your message. To me, it seemed like the rhyming held you back a little from what you wanted to say. Just my thoughts. *Smile*

*Bullet* I think it would benefit this poem to either use a regular rhyme scheme (where the rhyme is uniform throughout the poem), or not use rhyme at all. I think it could work either way.

*Star*My Rating*Star*

3.5 - I think you have a clear idea of your message, and your use of punctuation is cleverly done to help the reader. I do feel, however, that more attention could be paid to the structure of the poem. Overall, I enjoyed this very much. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your work! Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Argument  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Rheias

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Argument


Overall Thoughts:

*Bullet* This has quite vivid and beautiful imagery! I really liked these two lines:
Seeking for the grey, waving flag,
But finding a knife cold as ice.

They had a nice contrast that I could actually feel as a reader. Nicely done!


*Bullet* I also like the form you've used, with three quatrains (four-line stanzas), but no rhyme. It worked wonderfully in this poem!

*Bullet* I absolutely loved your use of alliteration and assonance in the first two lines.

Raging bull breaking a barrel
Using the "b" sound at the start of three words in one line (alliteration) worked great here! It made the line sound and feel rhythmic to me.

Tasting the ashes of happiness.
The repetition of the vowel sound in the "a" of ashes and happiness (assonance) worked in the same way for me. Great job!



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* My only suggestion, if you were planning to edit/re-write this, would be to add just a little more alliteration and/or assonance. What you've done in those first two lines works so well in creating a natural rhythm and appeal to this poem. It would be wise not to overdo this effect, but I think you're poem could benefit from just a touch more. *Smile*

*Bullet* You may want to rate this poem. Without a rating, the poem will not be displayed on the public viewing pages, so less people will see it. This poem could be rated E, with its intro E, as well.

*Bullet* Also, listing this as Poetry intead of Other will also garner more views, as people browsing poetry on the site will be more likely to see yours if it is listed as such.


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Wonderful job with this poem! I truly enjoyed it!

Thank you for sharing this. Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Kathleen

Nice poll! Boy, am I glad spiders aren't on this list! When I saw the title, I thought for sure they would be. *Pthb*

I absolutely love the choices you have in this poll! They're not what I would expect, yet are major things that people would fear.

A unique poll! I enjoyed it. *Smile*


*Heart*
(not to be feared)-spidey *Bigsmile*
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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi I like big books #2233315 ,

Very cool poll! *Smile*

Great use of WritingML, and I like that you explain your question and answers (instead of just asking a simple question).

The poll is also presented in a very friendly manner, inviting each viewer to participate for informatative purposes.

I notice that you say in the poll that you have lots of views, yet not many votes. If I may offer my two cents... *Smile*

It was really hard for me to choose between the options. It's hard to pick the best answer that applies to me, and in the end, I chose "I'll email my response, it's not covered here." I think people are having a tough time picking one, though I don't think that's a bad thing! I think that shows that you've covered a number of the most thought of responses.

Perhaps if you add that a few answers may apply, but voters should choose the option that they most agree with.

And onto my own response:

For me, the keyword for a good review would be "constructive." Whether it's pointing out the good or bad in my work, I want feedback that will actually help me in my writing. If I hear, "this is good," it doesn't quite help me. I want to know what in particular was good. I don't mind reviewers pointing out errors and what they didn't like, but when I get a review of "There were mistakes," that doesn't help, too. I'd like to know where the mistakes are, what didn't quite work for that reader, etc.

If I had to choose one of your options (without the "email me" choice), I'd pick "Rating doesn't matter, give me true critique!"

I rarely look at the stars given to me, nor do I look at the average rating of an item I'm reading/reviewing to influence my opinion of the piece.

I think this is a great poll, and everyone on this site should take a look at it!

Those of you viewing the Public Review Page: Why not take a look at this poll on Reviewing?

*Smile*

spidey
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Review of Early Morning Sun  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Hezza

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask! *Smile*

This is my review for "Early Morning Sun


General Thoughts:

A very strong and emotional poem! I enjoyed this! *Smile*

Strengths

*Bullet* I enjoyed the repetition from each stanza to the next. It really helped hold the poem together, as well as moving it forward. Nicely done! *Smile*

*Bullet* So much emotion in this! You do very well in describing the scene. I could see and feel everything being described very clearly.

*Bullet* I also like your use of punctuation. It effectively influenced the flow of the poem while I was reading. Good job!

Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I found no errors. *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* Beautiful title, and the description explained the theme of the poem. (For me, you could have shortened the description a little, perhaps even just "fear of a loved one dying," since the reader can cleary understand what happens. With the description as it is now, you're giving away the details before the reader gets through the poem) It's totally up to you, the writer, but I thought I'd let you know how I felt about the description. *Smile*

*Bullet* Your ratings and genres seem accurate. You could even use "Drama" as a genre if you wished.


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* While I enjoyed the repetition in each stanza, by the end it almost felt like it was too much. I kept anticipating the repetition and it took me out of the poem a bit, emotionally. Read the poem aloud to yourself and see if you feel the same thing (it could just be me and my reaction to the repetition). I'm not saying you need to change the repetition to make this poem work, but for me, using just one repetition of the key words would have worked a little better, instead of using the key words three times in each stanza. Just my suggestion. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.0 - Beautiful, emotional poem! I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for sharing it, and please keep writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of Fury  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Portia !

This is my review for "Fury [ASR].

General Thoughts:

Wow, what a powerful poem!

Strengths

*Bullet* Your language in this poem is quite strong and very effective at conveying the theme to the reader. I particularly liked this line:

And kept to feed her avaricious pride.

Very good word choices!

*Bullet* I must applaud your use of iambic pentameter! I've tried to write using that meter so many times, and it never comes out right. Yours is perfect in this! It creates a natural-sounding rhythm to each line, not forced or obvious in any way. Incredible!

*Bullet* The rhyme scheme really helped in my reading of this poem. It created a definite rhythm to the entire poem, and made it very enjoyable to read.


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

So long been kept inside it’s iron cage.
"It's" does not need the apostrophe (as it is not a contraction of the phrase "it is" but rather showing possession *Right* its iron cage


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* The title is perfect, and your description lets me know this is written in iambic pentameter, as well as conveying your intended themes (which come through very well).

*Bullet* Your rating is accurate, and the genre choices are perfectly fitting!


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* My only suggestion deals with the form of the poem. For me, I would have liked to see some stanza breaks, whether it be between individual couplets, or quatrains. The one block of text, I think, detracted from the form a bit. It also made the poem seem on the short side. I don't think the poem needs additional lines, though I feel it could be more aesthetically pleasing to the reader's eye. Just my suggestion. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Very well done! You have a gift for meter, it seems. Thanks for sharing this!

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review of A mythic tale.  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi The creative romatic !

This is my review for "A mythic tale. [E].

General Thoughts:

What a fun exercise! I did something like this once when I was in school. I'm a big fan of Greek mythology, so I enjoyed reading this very much! *Smile*

Strengths

*Bullet* Some of your descriptions are very well-written! In few words, you can tell so much! I particularly liked these two:

The sickly man laughed larger than he appeared he would. Like a giant, not a withered old man.

In the next life they found one another as soul-mates should.


*Bullet* You manage to use many of the main Greek gods in this short story, and you do fairly well in explaining who they are to the reader.

*Bullet* I loved that, like many Greek myths, this one seemed to have a message, of the eternal bond of love and the importance of keeping lovers together. Nice job! *Smile*


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

an ordinary village not to far from the coast.
The word "to" is misspelled. It should be *Right* too

wouldn't harm a soul.She had silky, wavy, hair of auburn,
A space needs to be inserted after the period, and you don't need the comma after "wavy."


and wore a equally pale tunic.
"A" should be "an."


opposite.He had light hair,
A space should be placed after the period and before the start of the next sentence.


captured the couples souls
I believe an apostrophe needs to be added *Right* couples' souls


He took then them to the banks of the River Achron.
This sounded a little confusing to me. I think you meant "He took them then," but those similar sounding words sound strange placed so closely together. Perhaps you could consider rewording it? Something like, "He then took them to the banks of the River Achron."


"How dare Zeus and Death take away my two of my charges!"
I think the first "my" in this sentence may be a typo.


A pair of cherub like wings floated by her.
I believe "cherub like" should be hyphenated *Right* cherub-like


"Don't fret pet. There will be other patrons to worship you." Her husband Eros said playfully.
I believe a comma should be placed after "fret." Also, the period after "you" should be a comma and "Her" should not be capitalized *Right* "Don't fret, pet. There will be other patrons to worship you," her husband Eros said playfully.


"What a tremendous waste," She sighed.
"She" does not need to be capitalized.


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* For me, I thought there could have been a better title. "A mythic tale" would work very well for your description, but perhaps you could consider changing the title, perhaps even "Theama and Cloytus."

*Bullet* I believe your rating is fine for this piece, and your genres are appropriate for the story. *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* In the intances I mentioned above, you do very well in creating descriptions with very little words. There were a few instances where I felt less words would have been more effective. For instance:

One thing that they were oblivious to was that they were being protected and watched

For me, using "Little did they know" or "Unbeknownst to them" would have worked far more effectively than "One thing that they were oblivious to was" Just my opinion. *Smile*

You may want to reread through this story, particularly you may want to read it aloud, to catch the few places where your story is a bit wordy.

*Bullet* Also, it would be a great help to your readers if you were to insert extra spaces between paragraphs. On this site, it can make the story difficult to read as it is. *Smile*

*Bullet* Although you describe some of the characters well enough to know who they are in Greek mythology, it is my worry that those not familiar with it will not know who many of the characters are. It is hard for me to know, though, since I am familiar with Greek mythology. You may want to find someone who is not familiar with Greek myths, and ask their opinion on this. For me, it seems like you introduce a great many characters in a short amount of time, and I worry that some may have trouble keeping them straight. Just my suggestion. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*

3.5 - This is a great start to a really wonderful mythic story! You have a natural talent, I believe, for concise, yet detailed description. I think you need to edit this a bit, but I believe you have a really great story in the making here! Please let me know if you make changes so I can read it again! Thanks for sharing this! *Smile*

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Arakun the Twisted Raccoon !

This is my review for "Triumph of the Small and Weak [18+].

General Thoughts:

What a gruesome tale! As an insect-appreciator, I must applaud this story! *Bigsmile*

I wanted to thank you for being a reviewee in "Invalid Item, so I thought I'd send a review. *Smile*

Strengths

*Bullet* I can't believe you've fit so much gruesome activity into 120 words! Your first line drew me in immediately, and I loved every word of this very short story!

*Bullet* Not naming the entomologist was a good idea, I think. I like that you identify him merely as "he" or "entomologist." I think that really helped keep the focus on the other "characters" in the story.

*Bullet* Really, I must commend your word choices. Having only 120 words can really limit a writer's description, but your story is filled with detail! I truly enjoyed reading it! *Smile*


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I found no errors. *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* For me, it would have been interesting to not use the word Entomologist in the title. Before I even started the story, I knew who the main character was, so saving the "entomologist" label for the end was almost redundant. For me, it would have been just a tad more suspenseful if you didn't use that word in the title. (Obviously, many readers would have been able to guess by the end, but I still think it could enhance the horror/suspense aspect of the story)

*Bullet* Your rating and genres fit the story very well. I like that you use Animal and Nature, as they are quite appropriate! *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* I can't say I have any suggestions for the story itself.



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - I loved this well-written, descriptive and gruesome story! Thanks for sharing it!

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SouthernDiva !

This is my review for "Promises of Spring [E].

General Thoughts:

I love haiku poetry! When it's done well, it presents such beauty and depth in its three short lines, and I think yours is delightful!

Another review to say thanks for being a reviewee in "Invalid Item. *Smile*


Strengths

*Bullet* Great use of WritingML! I love the flowers and different color fonts. It really makes the poem aesthetically pleasing to the reader, as well as creating a visual that connects the words of the poem with the subject being described. Well done! *Smile*

*Bullet* I absolutely love the rhyme scheme! I don't remember seeing rhyme in a haiku before, or if I did, it obviously wasn't memorable to me. I love the internal rhyme in the second line ("spring" and "bring"), and that the first and third lines rhyme. I wouldn't have thought to create rhyme like that in a haiku!

*Bullet* Like other successful haiku poems, this one describes a scene of depth and beauty in its short three lines. You do very well in presenting a story and scene to the reader. Nicely done! *Smile*


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)

I found no errors. *Smile*


Title/Rating/Genres:

*Bullet* I love the title, and the description let me know you were writing this for a contest. (Congrats, by the way, on winning 3rd place!)

*Bullet* Your rating and genres are fine (though I do believe that the "Contest" genre is typically used for the contest itself, and not for entries).



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

*Bullet* There is little you can do to improve a successful haiku poem, other than adding extra stanzas. For this one, I would have loved to see more just because I loved your use of rhyme, though perhaps adding more would take away from the brilliance in these three lines? I suppose I'm suggesting that if you wanted to, you could add more, though I don't think it's necessary. *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - Wonderful haiku! I enjoyed this very much!

Keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

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Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Storm Machine ,

This is so cool! What a fun way to meet and learn more about fellow WDCers. *Bigsmile*

What I liked:

I like the way this is set up, and how it's more than just an In & Out. It's also very cool that you're going to be putting answers into a static item.

Suggestions:

One suggestion - You may want to tell people that the newest additions are at the bottom of the list. It's easy to figure out if the viewer looks at the date and time, but it would also be helpful to mention it, I think. *Smile*

Awesome In & Out! I'll definitey try to stop back and fill one out for myself!

*Heart*
spidey

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