Eek! I've flown since I was a baby and am twenty-five now. If I ever heard a Captain like this over the speaker, I would have run off that plane like a maniac. This was really funny. I liked how nice and compliant the Captain was trying to be for his passengers, regardless of the risks of death. Great job.
Even though I understand there are personal jokes in this, it's very confusing. I get some of the humor, but the rest makes no sense. Also, you might want to break up the paragraphs for easier reading. It's interesting, but needs to be cleaned up for the average reader. Nice start.
as soon as Yatya said hello to there wacky fellows, they started to frolicking around like to fudge packers on heat, honky when ever they made contract. I'm not sure if this section is full of jokes or jokes and a few misspellings, so I'll just point out what I think are typos. Change "hello to there" to "hello to the," "frolicking" to "frolick" (it's the wrong tense for the rest of the sentence) and change to "honking whenever they made contact."
This was rather funny. I liked the portrayal of the media as a sea creature that has devoured everything in it its path, only to attack the Olympians next.
I could just see the national uproars of the winners' countries if the reporters really did overtake the winners and knock them off the podium. Good job.
This was great. You described all the hustle and bustle that goes with the excitement of the frist day of a real job. I could almost feel Jodi's nervousness, especially when it started to fall apart and she couldn't get herself together. But I liked how everything turned out all right in the end. Great job.
The Three Little Pigs to a whole new level. This was very amusing. I was wondering what the heck the third fig made his home out of. Or I was expecting that he wasn't so wise and was going to be attacked as well. I loved the ending with the smelly cheese. Great job.
This was wonderful. It actually had me a little teary eyed, which I almost never get. The only thing keeping this from a full five stars, is the lack of paragraphing. That's bad enough normally, but with the blue text, it was especially hard on the eyes. The color would be fine, just spaced out. Great job.
What? This was very weird. Interesting, but weird. I don't get the whole Mr. Wall thing, but the rest of the story was good. Just a few typos below, good job.
so they ate the sisters carcass. Change to "sister's."
The father replied, What have you been doing with the money you made?!?" Missing the beginning quote for this speaker.
This was good. I really enjoyed the yellow snow reference in court and the political correct garbage. Good job, just a handful of typos below.
Snow Yellow found this all to be a very grotesque site... Change "site" to "sight."
“Lets throw her in the river!” suggested Murky. Change to "Let's."
“Will if I cant call you midgets, can I call you dwarves?” asked Snow Yellow. Change to "Well if I can't..."
So Bertha dressed up like a nun and went to midgets house with the banana in a basket. Change to "midgets'"
All of a sudden, Prince Moderately Charming came out of the woods and into the midget’s clearing. He opened the casket and kissed Snow Yellow. Change to "midgets'"
This was a really good poem. It makes me think though. I'm stuck between images of the Snow Queen by Hans Christian Anderson and the White Queen from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It nicely fits both of these evil and cold-hearted women. Great job.
Now that was just morbid.
Oh, it was a nice story, don't get me wrong, but the ending where it took death to make the man laugh is just freakish. But also a little ironic, considering it was death that made the world so miserable with all the wars. Interesting... Good job.
That was pathetic, the "superheroes" that is. The story was funny. Man those people were oblivious. Maybe that's why they're dying out. Great job, just a few typos.
These three guys in mask came out of the van and grabbed me. Change "mask" to "masks."
I slowly came too and tried to stand... Change "too" to "to."
“Now we need to brand you with our sign of brother hood to make it official,” Change to "brotherhood."
“Where’s is that pole supposed to go?” Erase "is."
This was really cute in a sad and nervous way. The typical getting tongue-tied when the crush walks out. All that practice and it went right out the window.
I'm curious if there is a sequal where all the right words finally come out. Good job.
This was a pretty funny story. I like the satire of rank structure with the sergeant and junior sergeant. It's just like the Army, the higher ups are a bunch of fools and never see what's really going on. Great job.
He though to himself Change "though" to "thought."
This was very funny. I was amused by how stupid the fishermen were. Also, how the policeman went along with everything. Or it may have been a bog prank played by the locals to teach a drunken college student a lesson.
This was an intersting article. I'm not religious and my husband only marginally so. We tried the whole church thing and it doesn't work. We feel like hypocrites being Sunday Christians. So my husband prays at home to himself and quietly at meals. So I guess you could say we're the ad for a fat guy in a red suit.
But that doesn't mean to us the season is all about receiving. In fact I always felt guilty at Christmas when money was spent on me. I much preferred giving the gifts before I even opened mine. I was always eager to please. Even now, I've taken the philosophy of my non-religious father. He too much prefers handmade gifts, presented with love, as opposed to store bought junk. Yes, our son will receive bought presents, but he will be raised to present homemade gifts with love. So even us heathens aren't always greedy. And we even have a few traditions were making, since my husband doesn't have any and isn't into Christmas. I force him to help with cookies so he learns to like the season.
By the way, and this is the History student in me coming out, which I'm getting an MA in. Christmas is a new holiday only about 1,000-1,500 years old. Before that it was the pagan holiday of Yule, a lot older than Jesus. The birth of Jesus was moved from October to the pagan holiday in December to help covert Pagans more easily. I know that's not a pleasant thought to some, but the Church had ways of doing things in the Middle Ages that were often less than desirable.
Good job on the article. You do make a very valid point that we can't be greedy. And even those who aren't church goers, we still have a responsibility to be good humans. Good job.
This was a wonderful experience you shared. I know many people get on hard times, but it's great when others can help out. My own folks started something similar in NH through a Mental Health clinic, though they can't afford that much. My husband and I, though money is tight make sure to do the present for a child thing. I'm sure you will someday repay the favor when you are able. It's what can make this world just a little bit better. Great writing.
This was a cute tongue-in-cheek writing. I seriously enjoyed it. The only thing, the paragraph about also being an artist just didn't seem to fit in, it sounded more like a side tangent. Good job with the rest though.
If I were a writer, my book could be on the Oprah Winfrey show! Here now! Don't degrade yourself. The next thing you'll be saying is they might invite you onto The View. Brrr...
This was a pretty good story. Amora was very pathetic as Sleeping Beauty. Not the sweet and tortured princess, but a brat who happened to be allergic to carrots.
I liked Rhlan. He was so blase to everything and very matter of fact that she was no longer princess. No hero prince for this beauty. Interesting.
The poor boy, everyone is out to get him. The horrible hair cutter and his mother for insisting he keep going back to the woman who butchers his hair. This was a very good story. You described the emotional pain of the teasing children very well. Good job.
Frankly, I could not fathom out the reason he chose to aggravate the hideous hairstyle he bore. Change to "fathom the reason..."
Very good writing. You described the fears of young Cody and his trepidation of the forthcoming battle, esecially those he had left behind and his young age.
The only thing that might help, is a little more detail to understand what war this is. You mention cannons, but that covers a whole range of wars. Maybe if you mention colors of uniforms or other weapons that are special to certain wars. Good job.
I don't fully get it. I know he mentioned she was a vampire in the beginning. It also seems like his father was one as well. By why did he fear her in the end when she bit him? He did it first. Isn't he a vampire too? Would she actually kill him? I'm sorry. The story was really good, the end just really confused me. Good job.
I loved it. It sounded like something my husband would write, except he's Army. No, it sounded like something I would write FOR my husband because he is lazy Army.
I can only imagine the reaction from your chain-of-command. So the whole questioning thing, kind of like the fact that Commissioned Officers can't complain about the President. It's a court-martial offense. Have to love an organization which holds its "democratic" citizens in a dictatorial surrounding. Yeah, my hubby is out afer his five years. Going contractor instead. Great article!
What an arse! The beginning of the story was funny with how he tried to lie, though they were so blatant. He even blurted out the truth at one point and expected her to forget. But he was a putz and I can't understand why he'd stay so long to draw out the cruelness. Well written, I only noticed two errors. Good job.
He could try to side-tack me all he wanted. Misspelled "sidetrack."
“I told him that I could get into you pants faster than he could seduce one of your twins.” Change "into you" to "into your."
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And we even have a few traditions were making, since my husband doesn't have any and isn't into Christmas. I force him to help with cookies so he learns to like the season.