This was very good. I'm not sure, how at the end, she knew he felt the same. According to the writing he left before she could let him know how she felt. If she had known how he felt, she would have acted, wouldn't she?
Even still, this was very good, to know she wasn't alone in her internal drama. Good job.
This was a great story, with an excellent moral. Even when one strives to succeed, it can easily be at the expense of others. Don't let pride separate you from those you need. And you do need others, regardless of whether your pride leads you to believe otherwise. Very good job.
The story itself wasn't bad. You described the fear of the dark tunnels and stories of ghosts very well, especially when you included the particular deaths. There were a number of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes though. Little things than can easily be fixed. Good start.
It was about six miles to my cousins house.
That is if you walked down the railroad tracks.
I walked down the railroad tracks to visit them
often. Change to "cousins'" and these are all sentence fragments. You might want to combine these sentences a little.
...two homes there was two tunnels through one of which I had to walk. Change to "...were two tunnels..."
Pitch dark were the tunnels with no lights. This sentence is structured a little oddly. Maybe change to "The tunnels were pitch black with no lights."
No matter for what reason they died Their remains were entomb there were they fell. So every time I would walk through the tunnels It entered my mind. How much money and lives did these tunnels cost. Although I never seen any ghost there but it sure would not have surprised me. Change to "No matter what reason they died, their remains were entombed where they fell." Also, "...through the tunnels, it..." Change the period to a question mark at the end of the third sentence. Also, "Although I never saw any ghost there, it sure..."
When I walked through them chills ran down my spine.I breathed a sign of relief when exiting the other side. Put a space between the sentences and change "sign" to "sigh."
...sisters who were killed by a train I was approaching that spot. They lived in the area their home was near by.
It seems they were walking on one of the railroad tracks. while on the other tracks a train was passing by. Change to "...sisters who were killed by a train, near the very spot I was approaching. They lived in the area as their home was nearby." Also, "change the period to a comma in "...tracks, while..."
Down the railroad tracks I walked to my cousins house. Change to "cousins' house."
Hmm... I'm glad the Mother changed. I hope the experience shook her out of her bad habits permanently. The story was written short and well, but the mother should have been punished more than she was. She was very lucky to keep her child and I hope she always remembers that. Sorry, to a mother of a baby, this is a very scary story. Good job.
That’s why Mum was going out so much and was were all the money was coming from. Change "were" to "where."
“That’s was strong Panadol, Don’t you think” Change to "That was..."
This was an excellent piece. It is so true how new parents get so nervous about every little thing. Even after two years, the fears haven't stopped for the narrator, nor will they ever. You did a wonderful job describing the fear and pain of seeing the little one suffer. Great job.
This was absolutely amazing. The closest I ever got to a tornado were small ones in upstate NY. We only blew a transformer by us. Your hurricane was incredible. It's amazing how much destruction nature can cause to the seemingly indestructable.
Your descriptions of the sound of the tornado "train" and the imagery of the ceilings falling in was excellent. Great job.
This looks like it will be a cute mystery for children. I'm curious to see what happens next. Just a few typos below. Good start.
...he was a new kid at there school and he hadn't very many friends. Change "there" to "their."
"Lets explore the grounds it's like a jungle" said Dave exitedly.
But they decided to knock for chris first. Change "Lets" to "Let's," capitalize "Chris" and misspelled "excitedly."
As the boys got nearer to the mansion after struggling through all the bushes they went towards the door it was locked but it had gotton so rusty Dave and Marc decided they could barge it down.
"We're in " exclaimed Marc.
The two boy saw a message on the wall it read: The first sentence could really use some commas. Delete the space in "We're in " and change to "two boys."
The boys knnew their friend was in trouble.
They looked around for clues, it was marc who found them there were footsteps, two sets each behind each other. Misspelled "knew," capitalize "Marc" and change to "two sets one behind the other" or "two sets behind each other."
This was very short, but very interesting. It leant to the imagination what could be the story behind the girl. Was she really human or was she a very disturbed individual. She is definitely a threat to at least animals. You just may want to break up the sentences with a spacing or two. Good job.
This was a beautiful short story. It was so sad that Charlotte died, but so wonderful that she was reunited with her husband and children so soon after they had died. Great job.
The nurse took the baby into the next room, knowing that the Grandparent’s would need the comfort of it in their arms... Change to "Grandparents."
The crying parent’s of the lost woman were indeed comforted by the new life she laid gently in waiting arms... Change to "parents."
This was really funny. I figured it was just a child's imagination running wild the whole time. Then the easy, blatant talk at the end with Mr. Vlad showed these normal humans lived on the block with a bunch of monsters. Great job.
Two days had passed since their parents left and She had been interrupted every time her movie got to the best part. Lowercase "She."
When she sat down to start her movie again She could hear him screaming outside so she got up again and went to check on him. Lowercase "She."
Mom and dad don’t have enough money to get blood all the time.” Capitalize "Dad," as you're using it as a name here.
“Oh crud, I think he bite me at the same time as a mosquito so I didn’t notice. Change "bite" to "bit."
This has the makings of a good story, but it falls flat and is too short. If you added more description and feeling to the man and the villagers her ruled over, it would help a lot. Nice start. Below are some grammar and spelling errors.
So one day the man wish he could fly around the world so he did. Change "wish" to "wished."
Over a period of time his lust for power and to be love by the kingdom grew, until he looked at the vial for a long time, then he made his wish. Change "love" to "loved."
6 months have passed very quickly he have been having nightmares about his destruction. The story has pretty much been in past tense, so you might want to change this to "Six months passed very quickly and he began having nightmares..."
He had grown very hostile to the villagers within time the villagers left. Needs another word to make the sentence complete. Maybe "villagers and within..." Or even "villagers and within time they left."
Nothing was standing there everything had perished except for the magical item. Need a comma in here... "standing there, everything..."
This was very short, but very sweet and dear. I currently keep a journal about my baby and this sounds like the beginnings of one for you too.
I like the comment about having three children, but still learning. Every child is different and each can be a joy to learn from. Congratulations on the twins. My father-in-law is a twin and I was kind of hoping for some too, but oh well. Great job.
I really liked this list, as some of it could be used for historians as well. Many of the movies are similar to the ones listed in the Internet Medieval Sourcebook, but there are a few others as well.
I never heard of the Heloise and Abelard, the French movie, but now I'll look it up. I understand you're keeping it to before 1990, but there's some good films after then as well, if you start a new list.
We currently own a five video set about Charlemagne. It's a French movie with English dubbing and it's great, but it's from 1993. I'm impressed with it. Charlemagne is one of my husband's heroes and we've read everything there is on the man, which unfortunately isn't much or rehashed stuff. But from what we've read, the movie was pretty accurate.
I'm glad you mentioned Cadfael. I recently stumbled upon that series and found it a delight. Very good for Medieval mystery.
There are also a number of silent movies form 1900 to 1930 that can easily fall into these categories. In fact, they can be especially intersting, as they throw all forms of history out the window and go with a strictly fantastical approach to medieval and ancient. One is the film Die Nibelungen: Siegfried from 1924. These can be absolute camp, but interesting as well.
I also appreciated the link to IMDB. They have always been a great resource. Only one thing I'd like to point out. Next to Highlander, you say it's Medieval. Actually, Conner's story starts in the Renaissance, as does Duncan's in the TV series. Another favorite in the house. Good job.
This was very sad. Hopefully the wife was just out of the cell phone area, but the idea of her leaving when the husband couldn't even attempt to redeem himself is horrible. Good job on the story.
Was that a really an early sign of foreplay? Change to either "that a really early" or "that really an early."
Now this was funny. I enjoyed the panic that came with the "losing" of the ticket. I also liked the attempted murder of the sister-in-law at the end. It serves her right for driving him so nuts. Great job.
watch TV heard the numbers , and called her. Erase the space before the comma.
This was rather amusing. I enjoyed the whole error of identity ordeal. Good job.
The rightful owner, in his compassion after straighten out matters, saw that it was
just a misunderstanding and did not press charges. Change to "after straightening..."
Excellent! I really enjoyed this one. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but it was a wonderful attack on all the political correct and nosy organizations we have in this land. Anything an animal does that is "normal" is okay, but once they break the pattern, they are "abnormal." Sounds like all those activist groups. Great job.
But black is the lack of color, like white is all colors. Okay, I pushed the nerd away. This was a very nice story. I enjoyed the trick ending when the princess kept her promise, but punished the crow for her rudeness and greed. Good job.
This was so sad. To sink so low that one has to feel like killing themself. It nearly made me cry, which I rarely do. The description of trying to reach for the phone and looking at the photo of his wife and daughter was too painful, but well written. Great job.
That was so messed up. That poor lady must have felt so low after the incident to think she was mistaken for a homeless person. Don't get me wrong, the story is very funny, my heart just goes out to that poor woman like yours did, but in a different manner. Great story.
This is childish. This is immature. Oh yeah, you already said that. This is also really funny. The first two pigs were faintly amusing, but I really liked the schizo, especially when he whammed the Jehovah Witnesses. I'm not sure where the prostitution came in, as I hadn't read anything about it, but it was funny how it was just thrown in. Good job.
Nose catching the Dobermans scent, the old wolf tried to limp away, but to no avail. Change to Dobermans'
This was awesome! I'm guessing by the drab olive uniforms and no mention of camoflague, this had to be before the 1980s when camo was introduced. I'm also surprised by the interaction of the officers. When I went to Basic in 1998, we only saw our CO for announcements and the rare inspections. I never even knew we had an XO because there was no sign of him/her.
This was interesting to read just for the changes over the years. Good job.
You are be mine, and I own you! Missing a word here. Change to "You are to be mine..."
This was a good story with a good moral at the end. Basically don't live for others, nor push yourself beyond the limits of humanity, it just won't happen and it's not worth making yourself collapse.
The only thing, is the text runs on a little and it's easy to get lost. Still a good story, good job.
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Okay, I pushed the nerd away. This was a very nice story. I enjoyed the trick ending when the princess kept her promise, but punished the crow for her rudeness and greed. Good job.
This is also really funny. The first two pigs were faintly amusing, but I really liked the schizo, especially when he whammed the Jehovah Witnesses. I'm not sure where the prostitution came in, as I hadn't read anything about it, but it was funny how it was just thrown in. Good job.