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1,129 Public Reviews Given
1,565 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Maria Mize

I nice well written poem. Experience is everything and mine are nothing like what you describe here, but I will agree unpredictable. I like the touch of the theme park. Thanks for sharing.
127
127
Review of What's Inside  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Good afternoonJ.R. PETE

A bad relationship experience, I expect a lot feel as your poem suggests, and as sad as this is to say there are many people as you described. well written, simply expression and enjoyable to read.
Thanks!

A button for zombie love.
128
128
Review of The Pencil  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Morning, tracker :)

This is a very unique idea and I can say I haven't read another quite like it. Brings back memories as teenager, memories of what we lost to tech, the normality of it all, described by a pencil. I enjoyed you poem and thank you for sharing.

Write on~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
129
129
Review of Echoes  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

The introduction caught my eye for its mood is right up my alley. Smaller than I expected but to the point and spot on. Thank you for sharing and write on.
130
130
Review of Apocalypse  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello.
This is a well written poem and I enjoyed it. The fourth stanza should be "tonight" to keep with the others. I thought first of a homeless person, which is so misunderstood, but its about mental health and the trauma the mind can experience. I'm not sure if your usage of "accept" is intentional to empathize the feelings in this poem or not. I hope my review was helpful and Thank you for sharing.
131
131
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello,
This is a review of your poem or well I guess opinion.

Cute and defiantly improves as the it continues. I thought is started off wordy to express the man in the moon, not on the moon as I assumed, but I see it was a prompt. Well written and edited and I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
132
132
Review of Hairpin Trigger  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Keaton Foster: Know My Hell!

Simply a well written poem, I liked it, though while reading it was taken by the intended lack of punctuation and sentence structure. I believe that is what you want but found it hard to "stay" with your poem.

I think it's great, such simple imagery of a solider I could see. I could see him trying to justify his decisions, the choice he made to kill, but also the necessary of such a act, the mental illness that he carries, very well done.

I only suggest reading it out loud as it is presented and a breathe is lost. Perhaps breaking it into stanzas one, four, three, one. Thank you for sharing.

StaiNed-House Targaryen
I couldn't help myself, got this from Kiya and one for Kathleen!
133
133
Review of What's There  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, iluvhorses ,

It's always nice to open and prose or poem with a question as I always feel it leads the reader to their own conclusion to that question and often that answer is not so. You poem is very quaint and easy to understand and not over "in your face" imagery. Well written, it has a very quiet feel to it, like wondering about time and the things we collect and age in that time with us. This could be quite dark if driven by such a muse.

One suggestion and this is only that as I see no grammar errors is perhaps separating the last two lines to emphasize the opening questions which is never answered only suggested.
I enjoyed your poem, one and relate and easy to read, a little more feeling and imagery and this could grow.

Thank you for sharing. :)
StaiNed-House Targaryen


I couldn't help myself, got this from Kiya and one for Kathleen!
134
134
Review of A Day Too Soon  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

I have always enjoyed poetry and this poem is good, you touch slightly on heaven and the universe but not over moody and dark or perhaps too bright. A honest straightforward struggle of a journey in learning and that might not be as we wished or thought.

Well done thank you for sharing.
135
135
Review of First Kiss  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Rockstar ,

I enjoyed your pose and understood that your trying to express the feeling or realization that you love someone but only beginning early you describe death and later a lie but never really express any feelings with either. This is positive, and well written.

I suggest editing it for you use uncapatilized I a few times and end sentences without punctuation. Separating up the paragraphs and presenting as a poem might bring some clarity to what that love is, I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing since death came from above. Enjoyable and I hope my review was helpful thank you for sharing always.

StaiNed-House Targaryen
136
136
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tim Chiu ,

This is good and you use some really impressive wordage too. To describe decisions made as trees in a orchard is creative and a neat take on what you express on this poem. We are the trees living a life in that orchard. I enjoyed your poem thank you for sharing.
StaiNed-House Targaryen
137
137
Review of Forevermore  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hiya Angela444

Very expressive and well written prose. The reader can feel the sadness and confusion of both bringing life and death in a single moment. We can never understand but some gain hope that a better place is the outcome.

You really say a lot in this without being we without a better word choice "wordy". To express the child view at the end is a nice touch and I cannot suggest any changes, well written thank you for sharing.

StaiNed-House Targaryen


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
138
138
Review of Serpent lies...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Perhaps ,
Interesting take on the dark somber mood you try to express in your poem. I enjoyed it. You edited it well and presented it correctly, the only suggest have is removing the punctuation from the title and perhaps editing your poem to express the feelings of one person as it starts then changes to a group and I found it seemed to jump to what you intended meaning I had to re read to truely relate to what your poem is expressing.

I took it as one soul being the serpent.

Our feelings of love can be both painful and welcoming such irony that lives within us. Thank you for sharing, I review only to be helpful and hope I was. Thanks!
StaiNed-House Targaryen

139
139
Review of My First Poem  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (2.5)


Hello, J3 Welcome to the world of poetry, and prose. *Smile* Understandable paragraph you have written, not swamped with over active imagery and poetic symbolic feelings. Words written straight from the person, neoet hurried or over expressed. Well done for as you say you first poem.

In writing we edit and if this is your first editing will be very rewarding for you. *Smile* I suggest a title, a description that credits your work as it deserves, and puncutation. As it is written now it is a paragraph expressed as prose. Some editing into stanzas (four lined groups)and periods will improve on this alot in the mechanical aspect.



Like this:

You write: Love is magical but I shall not let it sink in ,for I am strong and an independent women but what i feel is as positive as the sun rising tomorrow ,as positive as the death that lies before us all

Edited as I would:

Love is magical
but, I shall not let it sink in.
I am strong, independent women.
What I feel is as positive as the sun rising tomorrow..
as positive as the death that lies before us all.

You never change tense and write with a great clarity. Well done! Thanks for sharing and Happy Editing. *Smirk*







StaiNed-House Targaryen


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140
140
Review of Black Eye Shadow  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hiya` suseZ *Smile*


Nice gothic poem you have here, and described smoothly. The return of a horror that being a witch. You description though confused me for the "she" in the poem, is not described as such., only the nature around "her" as she arrives is, as he sees it, which I was lost in for a moment. The coming of this person is his dark side awakened? If so I would express him more clearly as he watches her, throughout not more so as just the ending. *Smile* Readers almost expect more.

Thanks for sharing with me. *Smirk*



StaiNed-House Targaryen




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141
141
Review of Sweet Decay  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, DJ *Smile*

Very creative poem you have have her and a catchy title to draw the reader in. *Wink* Nice! Hate is such a intense emotion, often sewing itself to whomever it desires. The thread become one with you, becomes the skin that covers you, infects you, yup feelings as these I got from your small poem, so telling it is. You have a muse. *Smile*

I do have some editing suggestions, that I hope you deem helpful. You change tense right off the beginning of your poem and go back and forth throughout with really takes from it. You describe remembering someone that go to a present tense in the next line, and in that lose the past thought of remembering. If you want to express this is past tense I suggest reading it out loud to yourself, for I find that always helps me notice my changes in tense, one error I often do myself. *Smirk*

Express this in stanzas if would appesr more poetic. *Smile* Good Luck and Write ON!









StaiNed-House Targaryen


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142
Review of Angels Do Cry  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, SoulReal *Smile*

Very nice prose you have here told in a honest almost surreal, tone that truly touches the reader. I suppose angels do cry, and to find love only to lose it is deep indeed. It is a wee confusing at times, for you jump to imagery that really has a gap to what is being expressed as a whole in your prose, I say prose cause to me this is not poetry. Poetry has structure, some form. This is expressed more clarid and free paragraph.


I suggest some editing for punucation, your spelling is good. Breaking this into groups of three or four lines would bring the poetry essence to it and I think clarify the jumpy imagery.


Like this"

I remember looking back at her baby pictures, small toes, her nose and her beautiful smile the world seem so… innocent.
When she was a child she had a father she thought would never leave her side,
(till) the day he walked out the door he never said goodbye.
Her smile turned upside down to a frown mayday…
mayday this little girl going down,
That moment in her life caused a negative change looking for love in a man, she did some wrong things..


Seperating each line adds context.

I hope i was helpful and thanks for sharing. Write ON!



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143
143
Review of ponder more  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


Hello, Ranaa

Poems of reflection are always a joy to read whether the message told but more so a poem of admiration is most delightful. *Smile* You wrote in a clear, unhurried tone, telling of a time still remembered, one person that stills tickles your heart so to speak! *Delight* and ponder! remember! embrace the memories that you love and that changed you for what you described as better.

I enjoyed your poem and thank you for sharing with me. *Bigsmile*

I do too have some suggestions, that I offer only in my desire to be helpful.

In your decription you have spelling errors and that is what readers see before your poem.

Asking questions That have no answer,
And simply should not be questioned.

That- that
And- and
and place a comma after "simply"

But now I'm sitting here at midnight ,

No space after your comma
and omit "But" it is not needed to start your next sentence as it does not change it.

am I undefined without you or am I a fighter?

Start with a captial.

You errors are small and seem more just from unediting. You have a great small poem here, Well done! *Smile*





StaiNed-House Targaryen





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144
144
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello, fyn . *Smile*

Thanks for your entry in "a very Wodehouse challenge" . I am delighted to have this chance to be a part and have enjoyed your story very so.

You wrote so smoothly, the dialogue is quite dandy. *Delight* You start off fast paced with Joey running, and his thoughts are told so clear so realistic, we see his regrets, his memeory of the tire swing as a child all the while intrigued as to why he was running.

I will be honest I struggle reviewing stories, but have enjoyed yours alot, and cannot suggest improvement. thanks Fyn for entering and I wish you luck!


StaiNed-House Targaryen


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145
145
Review of Knock, Knock  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


"Knock, Knock"  aralls *Smirk*


Oh my!!!

*Delight* "squeek!" Ouch!

Knocking, knocking
in search of my flesh.

Wow! Where did such an idea come from?! *Delight* Powerful!!! Malign in the most lovely ways of a dark poet! *Smile* I think this is great! true on can only hide in their closet for so long but golly why? If suxch as you describe is their existance I crackle on in all the gore of a faint heart. *Smirk*

Moving! evil. dark! Someber in some mephoric ways others would not enjoy, but I sure do. *Delight* Thanks! and always laugh most evil.. Buwhahaa! "cough"

Thanks!!! for sharing, I'm glad I found you in wdc most dark places. *Laugh*




StaiNed-House Targaryen




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146
146
Review of Room at the End  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)


Hiya! *Smile* ♥Hooves♥

Congrats on being highlighted in Sher's Simple Postive this week, and I am delighted to have been shown the way to this neat, thought proking poem, and in a hard form too. Yikes! *Ghost*ies.. eek! fear forms I do, and envy those like you who write so wonderfully.

This is so sad! A person trying so hard to fight the confusion, the fear, the shadows of frightening memory loss, worrying that one eye closure may be the last they remember a heart love, a tender hug, the sun shining in a perfect moment. You express these feelings well, and relate a poem that touches a subject often not.

Thanks for sharing always!
*Bigsmile*'s!


StaiNed-House Targaryen 4 Simple Postive.. darkness is so! *Laugh*






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147
Review of Death Winged  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Boo! *Ghost*ies... eek! Kindel Fire Lit

Oh! What a creepy, well written, ryhmneful poem you have written, captavating in it' somber dark message of a deathful last days, to which all will experience, as imagined in this poem.

This almost have a musical feel to it, and the message one tells, raise few questions so undertstandable your imagery is. *Smile* We really don;t have much to look to, if this as you portray..

"Harmonious ghosts diluting creation
The challenge is to survive abomination "

is the fate that awaits, *Smirk*

A dark outlook you have, and I enjoyed your poem very much so. Thanks and always keep your night spookafied. *Ghost*..






StaiNed-House Targaryen




** Image ID #1604798 Unavailable **
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148
Review of The Sky is Bored  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Insane Mosaic *Smile*

Creative release here, you show you have put some thought into your poem, but it it's title itself, that grabs the readers curiosity, and I am glad I took the time to read you thought provoking poem.

You give a gray somber message here, not the most norm of candy cane straws and lollipop smiles. Looking at the cup half empty. Being sad or depressed can make one see things as your descrobe here, dark cluds, sunless days, wondering, the questions that praddle in our heads, "Are things always this bad?" Some really look for that silver lining, but few find it.

I do have some suggestions, that I hope are helpful. *Smile*

I believe you tried to keep your poem simple, and uncluttered by big words, and deep alterations, but in that, I found feeling was lost, and questions arise to to the imagery being portrayed, as yes not all poems "can happen" but in poetry, most embody the experience of dreaming it did.

In your fourth line:

I think you intended to end it with "stay" not "say"

Cumulus cries her tears and the
green grass grows you wrote.

I know cumulus is the cloud, and your describing that as a breathing essence, that the sadness touches, but I think another word would be more suitable for your poem, also perhaps omiting "and" and bringing the to start the next line.

The last two lines, are like a ending, question, fact, statement. I think an ending couplet would be perfect. *Smile*

Nice poem, thanks!! I enjoyed it.

Write On! *Ghost*ies.. eek!




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149
Review of [ice tears]  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Faye Lorraine *Smile*

Very descriptive poem you have wriiten, enjoyable in all the cold, emotions you share, in that one can relate who suffers too, and have some comfort in that storm that they know others have depression too.

Symbolic to a winter's storm and the use of some very nice creatiive expressive words is great to your poem. *Smile* I had no problem understanding your intent and what you hoped to share, such feelings as one endures them at that moment are often confusing and isolating but in your poem they are very set and clear in the sadness, loneliness, all expressing in some poignent imagery.

I do have some suggestions that I offer in only my intent to be helpful as you deem. *Smirk*

Your first three lines seem different from the rest fo the poem. They seem unfinished and choppy.

Ice Tears frozen
Fiqhtinq down my cheeks
They sickle jaqqed

Adding a beginning to you poem, since you express the tears, as an entity seperate from yourself, the depression is a breathing force in which you fight to escape.

Perhaps:

Frozen Ice Tears
sickle,jagged`
Fight down my cheeks.

Destiny is spelled wrong. *Smile*

You have a wonderful expressive poem here, describing the depression as a frozen burden weighing you down in the storm of life, is quite neat. I enjoyed this alot, and thank for sharing such a emotional struggle with me.

Write on!

StaiNed-House Targaryen




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150
Review of Deeper  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hiya, Hedren Rowe

Nice to meet you! *Smile* I am delighted to have taken the time to read your poem "Deeper"  My only intent is to be helpful, and encouraging. *Smile*

Indeed a small, clearly expressed poem of one's depression, and their searching in that depression for the faint crossroads between sanity and insanity, and in that search feeling the lesser of the two evils is a more welcomed one. *Smirk*

This is relatable in the imagery of not wanting to get out of bed, the hopelessness of sadness, and the confusion of not understanding the sorrow that seems to spring like a leak of happiness from the sun's itself almost. Very creative!

I do have some suggestions that I think could add some depth to this poem.


You use "uninvited,unchallenged" in the second line, and the second last, for the emphazie of repetition on the feelings you are expressing with these choosen words, however for me reading it, they made it cluttersome and unexpressive, it was like reading the first all over again and not getting any kind of ending to all the depression oozed in this poem.

Fourth line, first stanza, I would omit "and"

You last stanza needs seperate creativity to the rest of the poem, I think sinstead of reapting the imagery from the first perhaps changing to another spoekn of in your poem, night, fear, or perhaps peace in being pinned to the bed.

Interesting outlook to a sad topic often misunderstood. {E;smile} Thank you very much for sharing.

Write ON!

*Ghost*ies... StaiNed-House Targaryen





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