Neat form that I could relate to. A simple feeling expressed that I'm sure everyone who is
in loves feels. Expressing a want and a not line to line is neat, and I'd am not knowledgeable in many poetry forms but this is a neat one and sharing the link on what it is appreciated.
Thank you for sharing a heartfelt E rating poem.
Hello, Scarypotato is okay
I enjoyed your poem, it's simple message stated in the repetition didn't take from what you were expressing. Too often "we never knew" and this stirred up feelings of my own grief.
You need not have the rating you do "E" and more people will have access to it and sharing this type of poem helps others feel their not alone. Thank you for sharing a small part of yourself.
Simple poem and you described Him vaguely, and I got a dark feel. A neat take on feeling alone and unknown to people and the world we are in. Thank you for sharing I enjoyed your poem. StaiNed-House Targaryen
Hello, TheBusmanPoet
This is sad well written poem and I wanna to thank you for sharing a special pet with me. Rescuing an animal is a brave thing to do. Writing about Big Jack is also brave. My Milo is 8 now, only cat so no sharing.
I understood the simple message you expressed in this loose form prose. Sad and some angry showed, and brought some feelings of my own.
I'm not sure if you've edited but there are punctuation errors. I, you need a space in the seventh line, start with capitalization you end with a period. Second last line ends off and I believe "a" is a error.
Nice prose, really, just needs some editing. Thank you for sharing.
I have always enjoys poems about our children or grandchildren, although I pray I never have the later. This is quite cute. I could image the little girl, doing all those things to get popcorn without anyone knowing. Reminds me of my oldest, he loved popcorn also.
Well written and very suggestive, good job in keeping the rating "E". A neat way to look as a relationship, not as I have bit seeing and reading this I'd say I agree. Suggestion separating the questions to emphasize what your describing in those questions.
What is Love, but a battle at war?
The chariot, glides across land for the sake of it.
Body Armor, glistens in the sun as a beam of protection.
Separating that line adds depth and takes the reader in. Thank you for sharing.
I enjoyed this lengthy well written poem about Halloween, and such imagery always makes me think of Sam. Its a great time of year for both the autumn feel and colors but the horror also. Thank you for sharing and Congratulations on your placing.
Simple, enjoyable poem with some small rhyming and imagery of your cat the invasive creatures they are. I too have a cat, Milo.
My only suggestion is the tense changes and there are some "its" "it's" It could be intentional and if so my bad. I am only trying to be helpful and appreciate you sharing. Thank you.
I enjoyed this, and it really came along as lyrics. You almost pass the E rating and I believe the lack of punctuation in intentional.
Early 2000 Grunge feel, like Shinedown's 45. or Seether. I think this might get passed, and it good. I suggest editing the description to show more oh what you have.
Sharing really does help. and I hope it did help you. That must of been so hard. I wonder though why. We should take every moment we can get cause we really don't know. I have regrets and I wouldn't wish them on anyone.
I enjoyed this poem and had a split second where I thought it was going somewhere darker, but you snuck the last part in brilliantly. Friends are great, those that help us and those who don't for they force the hardest behavior change in ourselves.
Small, quaint and blessing, I want to see the pain in you. Buwahaha! Indeed.
Thanks for sharing your dark poem. I enjoyed and and only have the suggestion of punctuation in first stanza, third line, there's a pause and it caught me up. Enjoyed the simple expressions of feeling, and thanks for sharing.
Cute small simple poem. You described your feelings and inspiration. I have only one suggestion that I hope is helpful. First stanza, third line doesn't make sense. "The" I think is a typo.
Thank you for sharing my own inspirations are quite different so its nice to read out of my norm. Write on!
Thanks for sharing! Louis Williams Well written, and I could really realte as I do the things you describe as I listen to rock and roll also. 45 is one of my favorite songs.
The only suggestion I have would be breaking this up into however lined stanzas you deem. Like this and this is a example:
There's a lot said in a beat,
The kick of the drum that gets your feet moving
The rhythm that you feel in your blood.
There's a lot held within the sweat and growl
In the way the first few licks hits your snarl
and twists it into a slow smile.
Yes, I still turn up the radio
when a song hits the right spot in my soul.
I beat a rhythm steering wheel
as I sing with all the gusto
I can grab from deep within.
The music is about love, it's about life, it's about sin
Innocence and wisdom.
and continue. Again Thank I enjoyed your poem.
I enjoyed this small poem and appreciate you explaining the form as I am not familiar with a lot of poetry forms. I read a few times and never was really sure what your referring to at first I thought maybe a person from a relationship soured, but think perhaps a pet. It reminds me of a bird in a cage.
This is a angry poem, which is the same I also got from the cramp's prompt. You have some strong word usage in this poem, platitudes and lassitude. I looked to the second word up.
This is great, how you managed to tell such a sweet story from the prompts provided. I could imagine the worry on the fathers face as he thought about the storm, but none of the panic buying a week before the bad weather. A well written, heartfelt poem.
Hiya AJblurryface
Bottles indeed, I could imagine many different bottle, sizes and colors and the different sounds each would make. Neat idea, to compare how the poem is feeling.
The only suggestion I have is stanzas to make it easier to follow instead of repetitious.
Sometimes life is as empty as a discarded water bottle;
Other times it swells like the ocean.
The ocean,
Oh, how beautiful.
When the sun shines off the surface,
Happiness.
then continue, your place of thought finishes.
A special relationship is a precious thing and you have expressed your view on such with clarity and creativity, I did not find it emotional though, not to say poetry needs to be. I could imagine the feelings you feel and it adds to its depth.
Aren't memories great, and I agree seeing a solar eclipse in person would me a memorable event, I enjoy looking at the phases of the moon. I'm not sure if you know but verse is misspelled, I feel silly mentioning it as its not part of your poem.
Hello, Massive Friendly Derg
I enjoyed your poem, very unusual perception and something I've never thought about, but can relate and it has a fast pace which I enjoyed.
I offer you this is as a opinion only and hope it helps.
Each is free to their own perception and I can understand the outlook you describe here and agree with it as one would experience through their computer. I suggest as I'm not sure what this is to edit it as prose.
My experience is quite difference with death.
Thank you for sharing difference expanses our horizons, I can relate. I like your use of italic to emphasize.
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