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Hi huntersmoom! After reading your wonderful story "Invalid Item" on behalf of "Invalid Item" , I offer these comments:
First Impressions:A truly well told tale of the sea, a captain,, and the boy that learned who he was, and how to survive. A truly remarkable story just from a picture.
What I Liked:I felt like I was reading one of those sea tales you find in old books, that how accurate all the details seemed to me. Of course, I'm no natucal lady either. I felt for the characters, they weren't just characters, they were real people. They cried, laughed, suffered and grew. The reader, along with Billy, learned about life at sea, about a captain that seemed to be the epitome of honor, and a ship that is both mother and teacher to all. The ship was a character herself, which is often overlooked by those that have no understanding of what it is like for seamen. They often have no family, so the crew is their family, and the ship that keeps them save from all harm, their mother. I really liked the fact that you didn't go into a lot of detail about their adventures, but you gave us enough that we understood that Billy grew up learning the way of the sea. The ending was incredible, you had the reader at the edge of their seat, and watching it all go down. The best ending that you could ever want. Billy knows what he wants to do for the rest of his life, and the captain went the way he always wanted to, with is lady.
Suggestions:None that I can think of.
Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation:There were some instances that the phrasing just didn't seem quite right. For instance: "As years passed, his reputation always followed with a fair wind." Made me scratch my head a bit.
A wonderful story, that really reels the reader in *sorry couldn't resist , and brings them to a different time and place.
Jewel Busy Busy Busy! |