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281 Public Reviews Given
281 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Every word we put to paper comes from someone else. We learn from parents, teachers, books, movies, idle conversations - our entire life becomes our source material. The only thing that's original and unique is our choice of how we put the words together. To be 100% honest, we'd have to credit the Dictionary, Thesaurus, and Google for every poem and story. I may suggest changes in my review. This is not meant as 'serious' literary criticism (I’m no expert). It's merely my record of the ‘bumps’ I encounter as I travel through your words. If I'm thrown by a typo, an awkward word, or a line that doesn't scan, then it's likely that others will be as well. My intent in giving a review is to applaud your work and maybe help you to improve it. A review is merely another reference to consider. If the suggestions prove useful, then use them. If I ‘just don’t get it’, then by all means ignore me! Only the author can take credit for the final words, no matter what the source.
I'm good at...
My co-workers used to call me a 'typo savant'. Apparently, I read letter by letter instead of word by word. This is both a gift and a curse. I am often distracted by a typo when I should just move on in the story.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Horror, Fantasy, Mystery
Least Favorite Genres
I'm not a big fan of romance writing.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories
Public Reviews
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126
126
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Kåre,

Well done!

I enjoyed reading this one. It gave me a smile, especially the first verse. I especially like: 'bought tickets for Hilo to hula'. That line has a great rhythm to it. Your structure and rhymes are all very good. The coffee/Kona juxtaposition is cleverly done.

The only line that tripped me up was: 'with stiletto at hand'. I don't associate stiletto with bread knife? But maybe I'm missing your point. *Smile*

Full disclosure, I had to click on anything from Missoula. I grew up near Flathead Lake and we visit our daughter in Missoula every summer. Then I saw the subject of your poem and laughed out loud. My wife just received a refund for her canceled trip to Hawaii that had been scheduled for last April.

Regards,


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


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127
127
Review of Wild Cat  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jatog,

Nicely done. You've captured the essence of the older wooden coaster rides and the emotional swings that we felt while riding. There are some strong images here and a number of good lines. I especially liked 'till intensity’s ride was done'. The third and sixth verses don't match the structure of the other four, but that's a minor nit from someone who's slightly OCD. *Smile*

Keep writing!


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


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128
128
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Sz, the Poet,

This collection of poetry ranges from good to excellent. My preferences lean toward traditional forms with structure, meter, and rhyme, but I really enjoyed reading these.

I especially like 'I dream of genie', your haiku, and the one about your bed. There aren't any that I dislike.

I didn't find any technical problems with spelling, grammar, or word usage.

Your use of white space and line separation works well to establish the desired flow within each poem. I did not feel a sense of flow from start to finish of the entire collection, but maybe that's not your intent or maybe I just don't see it.

I think this book is intended as a collection of stand-alone poems, rather than multiple glimpses of a single concept. I believe that the ellipses separate the individual poems. Some of the poems have an explanatory tagline, but their usage is not consistent. That initially created confusion for me about whether the tagline was intended to be part of the poem. Of course, it's your vision, so your choices are correct.

I would suggest adding a cover image. A good choice of cover image can help to set the tone and put the reader into a receptive frame of mind. Even a mediocre image is better than the ugly WDC default. The WDC stock images are OK, but they're only available for use on the WDC site. I've found a number of good public domain images on openclipart.org.

Overall, it's a nice collection of poetry with strong images and some original expressions that evoke a real emotional response. I hope you continue to write and share your poetry.

Warm regards,


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


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129
129
Rated: E | (4.0)
Oddman,

Welcome to WDC!

This is a nice little meditative piece. I like the idea and your images flow well. Your technical aspects of grammar, spelling, and punctuation are mostly good.

I have two suggestions:

The phrase "comes on the way" seems awkward to me as a reader. I can't say whether it's right or wrong, just that it doesn't flow as well as the rest of your piece.

The sentence "Then proceed your day to day bulls*** works." seems to be missing a word, maybe "proceed with" would be more clear?

Keep writing!


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards






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130
130
Review of The Dance Of Dis  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Angus,

An interesting and entertaining piece that brought me a smile. I learned a little something with some rhythm and rhyme to accompany the lesson. There are a couple of rough spots, but the meter works well in most of your lines. Most of the rhymes are organic and flow with the subject matter.

Overall, a good poem.

Keep writing!


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
131
131
Review of Mr. Gray  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Flip,

I like your story a lot. It's a good premise and you've handled it well. There are some great images here and the dialogue sounds natural to my ear. There are a couple of rough spots, but the grammar and punctuation are good overall.

Keep writing!


Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards



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132
132
Review of Swan Lake  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Aritsou,

I like your images and the way the words flow down the page. My poetic preferences lean towards traditional rhyme and meter, but I enjoyed reading this one.

One suggestion: If the first line "Swan Lake" is intended as the title, then it might be better to underline or put it in bold to set it off from the body of the poem? If it's intentional, then never mind this nit.

Keep writing!

Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133
133
Review of Trivial Pursuits  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Sophy,

Nicely done! I like the way you've used the physical layout on the page to show the interplay between your characters. This is a scene that is all too familiar, yet also timeless. You've done a good job of capturing both points of view and you've provided a hint that 'green' applies to more than just a finger.

Regards,

Words Whirling 'Round

Signature for nominees of the 2019 Quill Awards


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134
134
Review of A WINDING ROAD.  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Monty,

Nicely done, as usual. Well deserving of the Poetic Traditions contest award. You've included some good images here and captured a bit of that wistful regret for the roads not taken that most of us feel from time to time.

Keep writing my friend!


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135
135
Review of A MANLY THING?  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nicely done! I very much enjoy this sort of thing, putting an old joke into a fresh form. Your rhymes and meter work well for me. The images are great and the story flows well.

I have only two tiny nits to pick. A colon might work better after 'boasted drunken dude'. Also, I wonder if 'was . . piqued' sounds better than 'has . . piqued'.

Overall, it's very good and I applaud your wit.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
136
136
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice piece with a lot of interesting facts about our favorite author! I enjoyed learning more about his background, and the questions from and about the various books are a nice touch. I taught my preschool age kids how to read with the help of the good doctor and they surprised their teachers when they went off to kindergarten. You could add something about his political cartoons, but they are definitely not intended for children!

Words Whirling 'Round


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
137
137
Review of The Struggle  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations! This is very well written.

I don't always agree with the judging in the poetry contests, but I have to agree that this one deserves the prize. I don't see anything that I would change.

I know depression is difficult to deal with and even more difficult to admit. I had a bout with depression some years ago. Medication made me functional and counseling helped, but it wasn't until I took 'control of my will' that I actually came out of it.

Thank you for sharing,
Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
138
138
Review of HEART ON A TREE  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Monty,

This is a beautiful thought and well written. I especially like the first verse.

I do have some suggestions to submit for your consideration:

1. 'much the same' instead of 'as the same'
2. 'still it remains' instead of 'still there remains'
3. 'love's old mark' instead of 'that old mark'

Please let me know if this kind of suggestion is inappropriate and I'll leave them out of future reviews.

Warm Regards,
Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
139
139
Review of No excuses  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to Writing.com! I've been posting poetry here for about four months and I've found it to be a positive experience. I hope it works for you as well.

There is some heartfelt truth here. Congratulations on putting it out there! I know it isn't easy to open up about such personal feelings. Honest reflection is the first step toward a positive change or a more peaceful acceptance of who we really are.

Good luck and keep writing,
Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
140
140
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "March 25, 2019 II" 
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Well done!

You've captured something worth reading as well as adhering to the required format. The images are slightly disturbing and that's what makes it interesting. I've known elderly princesses who smell of 'boozy' perfume and your verse evokes those memories well.

My only nit to pick is the dash in 'Cinder-Ella'. To me it seems an unnecessary break? Of course it's your poem and you may have a good reason for adding it.


Keep writing well!
Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
141
141
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a well constructed poem with good advice for anyone.

I'm not a big fan of free verse, but this hooked me and made me want to read on to the finish. The grammar and punctuation look good to me.

My one humble suggestion: I think "repeat past glories" is a more active statement than "relive past glories".

Either way, it's a good piece.

Keep writing!


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142
142
Review of Daddy's Way  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written!

I really enjoyed this bit of nostalgia (for me). I remember well the struggle to contain my son's little 'fire-hose' while simultaneously keeping track of a wet diaper, a dry diaper, and a couple of sharp pins. Success was ending up with the same amount of wet things that I started with!

Your characters are true to life and there was a nice chuckle at the end. Sure, he got the job done, but Will knew well that it wasn't done well.

Also, you might be amused to know that I've started carrying a bag (OK, purse) in my old age (cell phone, wallet, notebook, sun glasses, reading glasses, etc). One of the items in the bottom of my bag is a roll of one inch wide, Gorilla Brand duct tape!

Keep writing and giving us a bright spot in our day!

Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
143
143
Review of The Artist  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a nice story. It's well written and I enjoyed reading it.

You have some good images, the characters are believable and the dialogue felt natural.

However, there are some small typos and grammatical issues that I would like to point out in the spirit of making it even better:

         with their complements compliments and whispers

         grabbed some fancy appetizers and a napkin

         make them buy some of my other artist’s work

         in the twenty's or thirty's twenties or thirties,

         He sat set the empty plate

         a man in his thirty’s thirties

         some photograph’s photographs of his other work

         David recognized the attention to detail and the potential

         That first day, when he walked down this hill and set up his easel, was the beginning

         rock wall below him, waiting at the barrier that prevented her from coming with him


I hope you find these suggestions helpful!

Terrence Fisher


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
144
144
Rated: E | (5.0)
It takes a lot of courage to put this out for the world to see. I hope writing it helps you to work through the conflicting feelings and emotions. We can't really know what you're dealing with, but you've given us a glimpse into an unfulfilled want that is all too common.

Keep your head up!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
145
145
Review of Saving Grace  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well done!

I like the overall tone of the story and it developed nicely. The ending may not have been entirely unexpected, but it felt a bit 'tingly' even so. The characters were believable and the dialogue seemed natural.

The only nit I have is a typo - "pants and shirt with bunched up in the corner."

I'm pretty sure you meant 'were' instead of 'with'

A nice piece overall


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146
146
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! That's powerful imagery. I like your use of "approved poisons". There's a tension here because some of your "dangerous masses" actually do have venom. It's safer, but cowardly, to sacrifice the innocent along with guilty. I'm not expert enough to give you advice for improvement, but I think you're on the right track here. Keep up the good work.

- Terrence Fisher


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