Plot
Your plot for Dinosaur weather is excellent. The suspension of the events drew me in easily because of the way it was built. I also liked how you built on the story from a trip to town into a chase around the forest to safety. Your character development wasn't great, but only because it was first-person narrative. Still, I would have liked to know some more about the main character, but it definitely promoted more intrest in reading the story.
Setting
Settings were very well described in the story. I could picture the fog and the woods clearly in my mind because of the enviromental part they played in the story when the main character was running. Also, you described the man in the car really well and his actions. The suspense was perfectly realistic as well. Your ending is also very good, because you left a very concise description of the beast (or bear rather).
Structure/Mechanics
Paragrpahs are concise and therefore clear to read. Because there wasn't any dialogue, it is hard to judge your structure but it seems to flow very well. Your choice of words is varied and helps with the story's atmosphere. I also couldn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes either.
Suggestions
My only suggestion regards the ending. When the main character sees the bear, his knees buckled out from under me in relief of what I saw. Wouldn't he still be slightly scared of the bear coming up to him? Just a thought I had, considering he was petrified of a dinosaur coming to get him.
Overall
A well written, light hearted story with a relieving ending. Good job and keep writing!
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A beautiful story of history and affection. Your language with the similies used made the atmosphere very calm. I studied the Aztecs four years ago and I couldn't see the relationship between past and present at first. However, as you get further into the story's meaning I realised how you were looking back.
I also liked your rhythm in the poem. It's flow was perfect for the story and its atmosphere. My only reason I didn't give it a perfect 5 is becuase it somehow doesn't feel like a proper short story. However, I understand that it must have been hard for you to write, especially as English is not your first language.
Overall, 'The Journey' is a well-described, piece. Keep Writing!
A very persuasive article which gives a lot of information about what self-ownership is.
Its layout is an excellent one. It has a brief introduction which provides us with a real scenario, followed by three very detailed paragraphs stating what is self-ownership and providing some facts on your own and other people's opinions.
The language used is very persuasive as I stated before. It is a mix of questions and both real and opiniated facts. The facts themselves don't seem to be biased because you present them for and against the basis of self-ownership, which shows that you understand both sides of the argument.
My only minor suggestion is that you use WritingML to show the titles of your argument, otherwise they don't stand out as headings well. Other than that, your article is good to go!
A warm short story with a ending that is both happy and sad. Here's my full review:
Plot
Simple and emotional are the two words to describe your plot. The beginning was effective at bringing in the reader, before going onto the main part of the story- a flashback. You showed the emotions of characters clearly. I'm glad that it had a warm ending, except that George disappeared afterwards.
Setting
Your settings are described in much details, especially non-living objects such as the swimming pool. You didn't describe large areas well however, such as the area surrounding the pool. But it didn't seem to matter too much for the story's benefit.
Structure/Mechanics
No flaws here really. Your paragraphing is perfect and speech, whilst mainly close together, is clear to understand. You have also taken care- there aren't any spelling mistakes although this is a writer's cramp entry.
Suggestions
My only suggestion is a minor one. For the title of the item, change it to 'What happened was this...'. It leaves some suspension as to how the title and story are related.
Overall
An excellent short story, with a simple plot and hardly any mistakes. Good Job!
A great first chapter you've got here. Here's the full scale review:
Plot
Although this is only the beginning, I can see that the plot seems to have a lot of potential. Not too much is revealed at the start, instead we see the main characters and their personalities. The end of the chapter has a lot of suspension in it, because we don't what the characters are talking about or what else will happen to Micheal.
Setting/b}
The descriptions of the setting greatly improve by the the end has reached. The first one at the school is slighty misty but not everything outside the character's view is invisble (e.g school hall etc.). Yet at the chapter's climax, the battle with Micheal against that creature was extremely detailed, as well as his hallucination afterwards.
Strucutre/Mechanics
Your paragraphing is well laid out, but you don't need to put speech in the same paragraph. Spacing it out will make it easier to read and understand. Although this is only a draft, you still should take care because you have a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes.
Suggestions
Here are my suggestions for this chapter:
1) Proofread you work. You've got a lot of spelling mistakes in this draft, for example in the second paragraph: “You should ask for a new car as a graduation present. This one looks like it has two tires in the junkyard!” quipped everett.
Everett needs a capital letter.
2) Space out some of your dialogue. Not all of it just yet, but for your next chapter if there's a lot of speech between two or more people, it would be good to do so.
Overall
This was an interesting chapter to a story that I'm sure has lots of potential. Keep writing!
The imagery you use here is a lot in so much detail that I could easily imagine the setting. That wasn't the best thing about the poem, however, which was the way the mood and atmosphere came across to me. Your use of language made the mood dark and vengeful and showed a lot of emotion from the narrator.
No spelling or grammar mistakes were found in the poem. I can't judge the rhythm properly, as it is free verse, but it does fit the poem's meaning of a broken relationship.
Overall, an excellent, emotinal poem with a lot of potential!
Your story's ploy is very interesting in an unique way. The beginning was very catchy as it drew readers in with a sticky situation for the main character. The characters themselves have distinct personalities- especially Maeve as a young woman with dreams but also a temper.
I think more development could be done on how Maeve met James. You created a flashback for on their first meeting, but you haven't described him well. For instance- What does he look like? How is his personality seem to attract Maeve's?
If you can take the suggestions into use, then I think your story would be perfect!
An excellent poem of emotion. I could really feel the narrator's bitter, upsetting words and their meaning in me, so you have done a very good job on conveying the mood, atmosphere and imagery in your writing. The structure of the poem was an unusual one, as the lines seemed to break off into one another so the rhythm couplets get mixed up. This was also very effective for the poem's mood.
My only suggestion is that you could put some commas in, to provide pauses for the reader if they were saying the poem out loud. This could help with the emotion, as it feels like the narrator is also telling his/her feelings to someone else.
The plot was well thought up. Although tragic in the end, it was very interesting during the climax. Characters had distinct personalities and could be imagined, especially Ingrid and Ambrose. I could picture the setting easily enough, so you have done extremely well on the imaginitve side.
I have a couple of suggestions for this short story:
1) There aren't any spelling or grammar mistakes in the story, save one minor mispelling. When Vasily comes to visit him, he once says: “No,” Vasily replied. “I have not been ill, Abrose. Have you heard the news?”
Change this to: “No,” Vasily replied. “I have not been ill, Ambrose. Have you heard the news?”
2) The beginning as not as eye-catching as the rest of your story. I think the reason for that is because you use a lot of complicated words and metaphors throughoutso. I know it isn't meant to be a children's story, but this is hard to understand and wouldn't catch the reader at first. You could change some of the terms to simpler forms.
Your story was, without a doubt, amazing. Just change the structure slighty and you will be almost there. Good Job!
Your article is informative, catchy and in some ways quite funny. The tips you give are useful and with that you incorparate them with your own opinions of experience and some links to helpful items. Furthermore the WritingML gives the article a better presentation. I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes, either.
Overall, an excellent and witty piece on reviewing and what to do and what not to do.
A catchy poem. The alliteration from each line creates the choppy effect with tension. The mood changes throughout the poem, from suspenseful to motivated, and the imagery was well drawn.
The rhyming stanza fits the poem and flows smoothly, except for the eighth line. My suggestion for that line is that you could take out 'the', so that the poem runs smoothly onto the last line.
At first look it seemed very short, but when I read it aloud I realised how good it really was. The imagery is clear in the first verse moreso, as your comparison of autumn leaves to humans made it easy to imagine a picture of autumn weather, leaves changing colour and humans trying to cover up their appearances.
The rhythm is unique and fits the poem's layout and atmosphere. As each reference is made in two verses, each ending line rhymnes and it is a good choice of rhymne. In the third line, though instead of:
'The beauty of it all'
maybe change it to:
'It's beauty all'.
It flows in with the rhythm of the stanza and fits with the same line of the second verse. But it's only a suggestion.
There weren't any spelling mistakes found; however, I don't think you need an apostophe for every line that isn't the end of a sentence. If it was in a story, you would have to take a break every time you get to the end of a line. For the second line of the third verse, try ending it with a semi-colon as it would fit the structure better. Apostophes for each of the two lines at the end of the verses are suited, though, so you should leave them in.
Overall, a wonderful poem which has a secret message being put across. I think it will go far. Good Luck!
I think that this group seems very interesting. I like reviewing and I think this has a lot of potential because of its perks. So far, you're doing a fantastic job with WritingML and creating links which can help newer people with reviewing. As far as I can see nothing here seems to be wrong, so it is well done.
I think this a good story so far. The plot looks like it's going to be funny and interesting with a lot of twists in it. The characters don't have a deep description with their personalities, but they seem to be full of life and jump off the pages nonetheless. I think there is going to be a lot of dialogue used here, which you might need to cut down on some of it (particularly as a lot of dialogue is close together).
A strong and quite powerful poem on a crush and romance. The words, particularly the oxymorons used create a large atmosphere of imagery, so I am able to relate and understand the language used. You stick to the rhyming meter, but the last line on the sixth verse doesn't fit in. Despite this, the ellipsis used makes it just as suitable when read out loud as if the narrator is telling someone else their feelings.
You have done a very good job painting a picture of what the feelings are about. Keep writing!
An interesting poem, although I found it slightly difficult to understand its main plot and motive. I think that you used a lot of imagery within each verse, along with the effective repetition of the first line for three of the verses and a free verse at the end. Your rhyming stanza suits the poem, but it is slightly uneven in some parts despite being very unique.
Overall this is an imaginitive piece.
A very strong poem on our soceity of looking perfect. The feelings of the narrator are clearly shown, so much that I was covering my neck with my hands whilst reading through it. You have covered a serious issue of tolday very well with this poem.
Maybe you could use some conjunctions to join some of the much shorter lines. As there is no rhythm to this poem abd just blank verse, your poem sometimes keeps repeating 'I' over again. However, you don't need to do this too much, as it would ruin the atmosphere of the poem. Good Luck!
This is a deep poem about the significance of people when they help us from anywhere in the world, as well as God. The life of humans is described in much detail, and you use a lot of metaphors in the next couple of verses when you show that God is the answer. Your rhythm changes between verses and I think that is a good idea because it makes the poem more varied. Overall, a significant but enjoyable poem that sparks interest.
A promising story. The plot seems to be hiding something which I want to know. The actions are vivid and described in a lot of detail.
A couple of things that could be improved:
1) Paragraph your work. You indent them, but actually separating them will make it easier and clearer to read.
2) Pronouns. In the second chapter you always use either 'I' or 'He'. It would be hard to use any other pronouns however, so try making the sentences longer as they're very short.
It is a great story, as you seem to be telling it from two different points of view that haven't interlocked yet. Just add some finishing touches and then this story is on its way!
Wow... this is a thought-provoking piece. I liked the meter you chose for this poem. Everything is described in a metaphorical and imaginitive way to create an atmosphere. The mood keeps its pattern all the way through the story, which I like as it shows the sincerity of the poem. Overall, this is a beautiful piece with some meaningful words.
This is a very good poem. You've used a lot of effective enjambment and caesura when writing this, so if the poem was spoken out it would relate with that person well. Being a teenager, I think this poem has meaning to me. The only flaw that I could point out is that I can't really relate to the narrator, but otherwise your poems really carry a lot of thought-provoking words.
Keep writing!
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