\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/upstartcrow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
1,406 Public Reviews Given
1,464 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
126
126
Review of Why?  Open in new Window.
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is an interesting piece. It does a good job of capturing the ups and downs of teenage relationships. There are a few things you could polish. Be sure to capitalize your I's. Make sure to use apostrophes in contractions. I wouldn't start sentences with so, and, but, or because, but that's my personal preference. I like the last line that nothing last forever showing some hope that the pain will go away.

Regards,
Ms. J
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
127
127
Review of THE ROAD  Open in new Window.
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an interesting piece. I find I want to know more about the back story. I think it interesting that you are commenting on parents responsibility for their children, perhaps, because I am a teacher. Maybe the parents should have taught the children about the road in the first place. *Smile* Interesting thought provoking poem.

Regards,
Ms. J
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
128
128
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
May 7, 27 CE – Caesarea Martima – Judaea Province





Pontius Pilate lifted the small set of forceps the man handed to him and inspected them with curiosity. His was a very patrician face, strong jaw, long regal nose, thick dark and curly hair graying at the temples, and piercing brown and green speckled eyes. He was tall for the average Roman, close to six feet, and his light Tuscany skin betrayed a hint of Germanic blood. Good description

“Where did this come from?” Pilate held the forceps up.

Dorbec’s Latin was better than Chester’s and it wasn’t proper in Roman society a woman to speak for them. That sort of implies that Chester is a woman.

“We traded for it in the east,’ Dorbec answered, glancing nervously at the Roman soldiers. Carney stood by his side with a guilty look on his face.

Pilate pointed to the bag Carney was holdingheld. “Show me what is in the bag!” he demanded, glancing back at the Decurion who was standing stood slightly behind him and to his left. The Decurion placed his hand on his gladius and the soldiers became more alert.

The man wearing the senatorial toga walked over and snatched the bag from Carney’s hands. He opened it and started removing items, items that did not exist in ancient Rome and could not have existed anywhere in the Roman Empire.

Pilate turned to the Decurion. “Arrest them,” he ordered.

The Decurion barked an order to his soldiers and quickly pulled his gladius from its sheath. As soon as the swishing sound made by the gladius reached the ears of Khan’s men, one of them pulled his Heckler and Koch MP7 and charged the small group. From twenty feet away he opened fire on full automatic. Pilate, the two wealthy Romans, the Decurion and several soldiers were immediately cut to pieces. Uh oh! Another of Khan’s men joined in and they slaughtered the remaining Roman soldiers.

The soldiers standing guard in front of the Prefect’s headquarters, seeing their leader and a security detail killed by wizards, immediately sounded the alarm. Doctor Dubenchiek and Cencio rushed from the building. Dubenchiek’s eyes were wide with anger and fear. He halted half way down the steps and shouted something at Khan, but his shout faded as one of the guards ran him through with his pilum. Khan shot the guard, barely missing Cencio, who was sitting sat on the stairs beside the body of Doctor Dubenchiek.

Scores of soldiers started pouring{c;blue} poured from the headquarters building and from further down the street. Khan was acting acted like a maniac, firing his pistol in one hand and an HK MP7 in the other, a satisfied grin on his face.

Chester signaled for his men to scatter. “Main gate!” he yelled, grabbing Ariana by the hand. They made it into a small crowd of people before Khan could turn and open fire on them. Khan ordered his men to cover him and rushed to catch Chester’s team as they scattered among the excited bystanders.

Cencio quietly melted into the crowd. He looked enough like a normal civilian that little attention was drawn to him. he drew little attention? makes it more active He watched as Khan’s mercenaries butchered scores of Roman soldiers. They were evil men, laughing and pointing as they fired round after round. Their laughter quickly faded when one of them was impaled passive voice by a Roman pilum, the ancient weapon going all the way through his body and making sparks on the cement behind him as he clutched his chest in agony. Score 1 for the Romans!

Before the four remaining mercenaries could react, they were showered passive voice by a storm of pilums. Each was struck more than half a dozen times, the weight of the heavy spears dragging them down onto the cobblestone square.

“Idiots,” Cencio muttered, as a Centurion rushed up and quickly beheaded each of them.*paragrah* The Officer scanned the crowds for further danger then ordered his men to form a square around the body of Ponitus Pilate. Cencio picked up the small chest of gold and melted among the people who were beginning began to leave the scene. They knew from experience that when Roman anger was raised, innocent people could be killed, and the Roman Prefect had just been murdered.

Instead of running through the streets like thieves trying to escape and draw unwanted attention, Chester and his team slowed to a fast pace. If they could manage to make it to the main gate before word was received of the Prefect's death of the Prefect{c;blue} spread; they could escape into the thick woods on Mount Carmel. As it was, it would be difficult to identify them since all eyewitnesses were probably dead, but they could not afford to take the chance.

As they approached the main gate, Dorbec spotted his men standing on the outside waiting for them. He signaled for them to continue into the outskirts and deeper into the mud and skin huts that made up much of the outlying city. The area around the gates would be the first place the soldiers would search and secure.

He heard a noise behind him and turned to see a horseman making his way through the excited crowd. He nodded to Chester and Ariana to pick up their pace. The cavalryman was obviously sent to warn the sentries manning the walls.

They made it through the gate just before the rider arrived. Dorbec looked back over his shoulder to see the massive doors being closed. He thought he spotted the face of Khan among the crowd inside the walls, but could not be certain.

They met the rest of the Team well into the outskirts of the city. Carney’s face was a pasty white, either from fear, exhaustion or perhaps guilt.

“Romans are very efficient.” Dorbec pointed to the wooded slopes of Mount Carmel. “There will be patrols searching the suburbs and spreading into the hills very soon. We must get into those mountains as fast as we can.”

“They just killed Pontius Pilate,” Oddball blurted, his eyes wide with fear. “We’ve changed history. Without Pilate Jesus will not be crucified.”

Chester patted him on the shoulder. “I think history will be fine. It doesn’t have to be Pilate, another Roman Prefect will be appointed and his name will go down in history instead of Pilate’s.”

“I think I spotted Khan just before the gates were closed.” Dorbec glanced at Chester. “Did anyone see what happened to Cencio?”

“That man’s too evil to die!” Carney spat. “You can bet he survived.”

“The Brotherhood goons were just stupid enough to get themselves slaughtered,” The Geek remarked. “Where do we go from here, Colonel?”

Chester thought about his question for a few moments. The object of the mission was the assassination of Jesus. Jesus had no reason to be in or near Caesarea. If anything, he was spreading his teachings along the Jordan River. He might also be in Jerusalem where he often preached, especially near the mikvaot, or ritual baths, used by Jewish pilgrims.

“I don’t suppose you have another means to contact the time ships?” he asked Ariana, aware that Doctor Dubenchiek had confiscated her communications device earlier and given it to Cencio.

Ariana nodded. “The mission was to last ten days. If, at the end of ten days, no one made contact with the ships, they were to use their sensors to locate my DNA and investigate. We still have seven more days until they initiate that action.”

“What would Cencio do?” Chester turned to Dorbec.

“He will attempt to complete the mission,” Dorbec replied. “If Khan survived, and there’s no reason to believe that he did not, Cencio will find him then organize a small caravan and try to find the location of Jesus. I am assuming he still has the gold and gold can buy protection and pay off greedy soldiers.”

“Our best bet is to head for Galilee,” Chester stated. “The Bible records that Galilee is where Jesus’ first miracles took place, so Cencio will most likely head there. If Cencio and Khan had been killed we could have simply hidden in the hills until the ships came looking for us. Despite the risk to our families, I think we should still make an attempt to stop Cencio from the assassination attempt.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

As soon as they cleared the Mount Carmel mountain range, the first village of any size they found was Jokneam, a small but important town along the major road towards Meggido, the Jezreel Valley, and on to Nazareth. The same road eventually connected with the populated cities along the Sea of Galilee, such as Tiberias and Hippos and the Via Maris

It was early in the morning comma whenthey reached the town and they would not have stopped except they were exhausted and the meager rations that were designed to last them for two days were long gone.

Ariana had kept some of the coins in her bag so they bartered with an innkeeper for food and shelter. Their purchase got them more cold mutton, several loaves of hard dark bread, and a bed in the stables.

The inn keeper told them that several Roman Cavalry patrols had passed during the night and word was spreading that the Roman Prefect had been assassinated by a band of Eastern Magicians. A generous reward was being offered by the old Prefect, Valerius Gratus, the man that Pontius Pilate had replaced, for information on the assassins.

The way the man looked at them made Chester suspicious. Their accents unusually clean clothing, and mannerisms betrayed the fact that they were foreigners. Before bedding down for a few hours of desperately needed sleep, he asked the man for the directions to Gedora, a town well to the north and far from the direction they were going to go. He gave the innkeeper a story that they were heading home far to the north.

As soon as he met the others in the stables comma he warned them of the innkeeper 's suspicions. Despite their exhaustion, they decided to move on down the road for several miles and make camp. They found an outcropping of rocks several hundred yards off the road and made a camp without fire. Dorbec posted two guards in the direction facing the road and the rest were asleep before they even hit the sand.

The next day they made it to the town of Nazareth comma just before noon. Nazareth is tense switch from past to present thought to be the home of Joseph and Mary and the site of the Annunciation (when the Angel Gabriel told Mary that she would have Jesus as her son). Nazareth is also allegedly where Jesus grew up from some point in his childhood.

Historians have speculated the size of Nazareth to be anywhere from 2,000 inhabitants to 480, and as little more than an insignificant hamlet.

The town they found was situated in a small valley next to a steep hill. The number of dwellings indicated a population no larger than several hundred and the amount of tilled ground could not have supported a much larger population.

Despite their fear, they had to risk purchasing food from a local innkeeper. The man also told them that numerous Roman patrols had been through the town searching for assassins. To their good fortune, the man was extremely anti-Roman, and probably a member of the underground resistance.

“We have little money.” Ariana spoke for them, as she was the only one left who spoke Aramaic. “But we do have some trade goods.”

“πολύ καλός,” The man replied in amazingly clear Greek. The Geek, a Greek scholar, understand what the man said and started a conversation with him.

“His Greek may be thousands of years old, but we understand each other very well,” The Geek stated. “His name is Andros Panagakos, and he is originally from a village near Athens. He hates the Romans with a passion and is willing to help us in any way he can.”

“Let’s start with food,” Carney growled, rubbing his empty stomach.

For the next hour or so, Andros plied them with food, which they did not know existed in the ancient world. He started with a fine delicate butt of beef marinated with wine, a goose roasted with pomegranate juice, soft bread, beans, lentils, and steaming vegetables. The final plate was of tender lamb on dill leaves served with a sauce that was outlandishly delicious. There were also honey cakes with sweet dates and wine.

“This is for you man.” Oddball handed his Special Forces coin to Andros, who looked at it with curiously. His face lit up with a wide grin and he said something in rapid Greek.

“He says he knows we are magicians now,” The Geek translated. “He also knows we were not the ones who assassinated the Prefect. According to the Roman soldiers, they were all killed.”

“Tell him not to show that coin around,” Chester stated, his glance giving Oddball a rebuke. “I doubt any one can reproduce the quality of that coin in this era and whoever sees it will know that it had to come from magicians.”

“Ask if he has heard of a man named Jesua the Prophet?” Dorbec asked.

Andros spoke for a while then launched into a lengthy tirade that had The Geek’s eyebrows raised.

“He said that a man called Jesua the Baptizer was in Cana last fall,” The Geek stated. “It was said that he was also known as a magician since he turned water into wine.”

Dorbec sucked air into his lungs. “It was there that Jesus performed his first miracle. It took place during a wedding feast. In the midst of the celebrations, the host ran out of wine. When Jesus heard of the situation, he went to the household servants and instructed them to fill six water pots to the brim with water. He then told them to take a cup of this water to the headwaiter for him to taste. When the headwaiter tasted it, not realizing its source, he proclaimed it to be the best wine served during the entire celebration.”

“Wasn’t that also the place where Jesus performed his second miracle?” Carney asked. “Something to do with an official.”

“It was about a year after the wedding,” Dorbec replied. “Some Royal Official, whose son was sick at Capernaum heard about Jesus’ healing miracles and traveled sixteen miles by foot to ask Jesus to heal his son. The Royal Official asked Jesus to comma and ' “come down before my child dies,’ but Jesus said to him, " 'Go your way; your son lives." ' The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him, and when he got back home, he discovered that his son was healed.”

“The wedding was almost a year ago,” Chester stated. “That means that Jesus must be in or around Cana right now.”

They looked at each other. Where Jesus was, Cencio was bound to show up.

Andros started speaking again in rapid Greek. He looked upset and worried.

“He says we must hide here for a time because it is far too dangerous for us to be on the roads,” The Geek interpreted. “He says that in about four weeks or so, the patrols will stop and then it will be safe to go on to Cana.”

“This will give our time ships an opportunity to contact me also,” Ariana added.

“Tell Andros that we will repay his generosity a hundred fold.” Chester motioned to The Geek.

Wow! Didn't see that one coming! Pilate dead, oh dear. Where is this going to lead?

Regards,
Ms. J

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

129
129
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 65

May 18, 2012 – McMurdo Station - Antarctica





Megan looked up from her seat and canted her head to the left, a habit she was incapable of breaking. “You’re telling me the government just now found out about these Babbling Brotherhooders and New Age Nazis? If what you say is true, and I think that you think that it is, this Clive Cussler scenario could never have happened over night.”

Beartalker took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Everything has been held as top secret in the interest of national security. The Department of Defense didn’t know about the President and high government officials being part of The Brotherhood until the Joint Chiefs started digging around after the untimely death of the Secretary of Defense.”

“How did you find out this bit of secret information, and how do you know so much about the plans of both these powerful organizations? I know you can put two and two together and come up with five, but, details like this are a little on the ‘hard to come by’ list.”

“That’s where you come in Megan.” Beartalker gave her a wide disarming grin. “Someone inside the Nazi organization sent us a recent message disclosing the secrets I just told you, then they demanded that you, Megan MacKenzy, must be appointed their point of contact, or further information would not be forthcoming.”

“I sure as hell don’t know any Nazis, old or new!” Megan got to her feet and started pacing the floor, something she did when she was very agitated.

“We’re assuming that this contact selected you because of all the recent world wide attention your office has been getting,” Beartalker stated. “She also left some information we must act on as soon as possible.”

“She?”

“She signed off with the name of Marta.”

“Germanic; Austrian or Swiss,” Megan mused, trying to identify the origin of the name. “What information?”

Beartalker helped himself to one of Megan’s root beers then sat down in the seat she had just vacated.

“It appears that the government, our government, has kidnapped the members of some of our Special Forces soldiers. These soldiers have been forced to cooperate with members of The Brotherhood on a mission. If they do not cooperate, their families will be terminated. Other men, Doctor Monday Stiehl and Doctor Dominic Prestano among them, were also coerced into assisting the Nazis with a promise of Nazi help to secure the families. Of course they know this is a lie but what other choice do they have?”

Megan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She mentally pictured Doctor Stiehl and the time she had spent in school with him. The only one I came close to marrying, she thought. Unfortunately, he never asked me.

“It gets more and more mysterious,” Megan muttered, now counting her steps in a whisper as she slowly paced back and forth. “I assume she did not contact you on an open communications channel?”

“Ultra high frequency speed burst,” Bearttalker replied. “Similar to the communications methods we use to contact our submarines. Everything was sent in a micro flash which makes it more difficult for the enemy to catch.”

Megan continued her pacing. She was starting to get on Beartalker’s nerves even though it took quite a bit to rattle him. POV switch

“You say you just recently discovered the identities of the high government officials who belong to The Brotherhood?”

Beartalker nodded. “She gave them to us.”

“You also state they only assume that their mission to the past will work?”

Beartalker nodded again.

“If it doesn’t work then they’re in a load of poop,” Megan grinned. “People in a load of poop quickly look for a way to wipe themselves clean because they know the next move is to be flushed down the toilet.”

Beartalker wasn’t certain he was following her strange logic but nodded his head in agreement once again. POV switch, perhaps Beartalker reluctantly nodded

“If you can get me the names of the traitors in high places, I think I have a way they can wipe themselves clean, for a price?”

“My communications expert already has that information, or at least the majority of names, which also includes international leaders.”

“Does he also have the names of the hostages and where they are being held?”

Beartalker thought for a second. “Their names yes, their location I’m not certain.”

“When can I talk with Myrtle or Marta or whatever her name is?”

“She set a time for tonight around twenty-three hundred hours.” Beartalker took a sip of his diet root beer and grimaced. It was diet. “We can’t contact her, she is evidently at an unsecure location and limited as to when she can get to her communications equipment.”

Megan looked at her watch. She was accustomed to the twenty four hour clock so the reference to military time did not throw her off.

“Two and a quarter hours from now,” She stated. “Can I get access to a good computer with high speed Internet? My personal laptop and the equipment my people are bringing in are not rigged for security.”

“Sparks can set you up with anything,” Beartalker replied.

Megan smiled. “Sparks? Why not Scotty, of Star Trek fame? You know… beam me up Scotty?”

“Ironically his actual name is Scott,” Beartalker chuckled, but the name Sparks carried over from his old unit.”

“Get him in here,” Megan ordered. “We have lots to do.”

Yet another good twist! Marta huh? Is it really? I think I shall have to read on.
Ms. J
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

130
130
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 64

May 7, 27 CE – Caesarea Martima – Judaea Province





“The least they could have done was get us closer to the damn town.” Carney’s face was covered with road dust and his feisty temper was getting the best of him. They had been traveling for two full days and well into the third. The land was mostly sand and rocks with an occasional scraggly bush. Initially they had met few travelers, but the closer they got to their destination, more and more people started filling the ruts that served as a road.

Ariana smiled at his remark. “We are now past the foothills of Mount Carmel and if you take time to notice, you can even smell the sea.”

“I thought we were going to Caesar’s place?’ " Carney asked. He was happy to have Ariana’s company. Most of the trip he had been surrounded by Kahn’s mercenary goons. Her smiling face and natural grace brightened up his day.

“Caesarea. It’s a large city, the civilian and military capital of Judaea Province and the official residence of the Roman procurators. At this point in time it probably has the largest population in Judaea. It’s a very modern city compared to local standards.”

“Reckon them Romans like their luxuries, being top dog and all.” Not clear who is saying this

“The city was actually started by King Herod, who built his palace on a promontory jutting out into the sea, with a decorative pool and many amenities. The Romans brought in bath houses, theatres, Roman culture and of course, Roman law.”

Oddball, walking just behind them, joined in the conversation. “Man, I once read these Caramel Mountains were full of criminals and cut throats?”

“Carmel,” Ariana corrected. “Due to an abundance of vegetation on the sloped hillside, and many caves on the steeper side, Carmel is known as the home to many criminals. A large number of religious sects also inhabit this long mountain range and there are several well-established holy sites. The Romans do a good job of patrolling the roads so comma I don’t think we’ll be bothered by bandits.”

Oddball chuckled. “Would be the last thing they ever do. Khan’s goons are packing some heavy heat, man.”

Ariana looked at him with a frown. She did not understand what he was saying.

“He means they have modern weapons.” Carney stated. “He forgets you weren’t raised as a flower child like him.”

“Flower child?” Ariana was still puzzled. show me the puzzlement on her face

“American slang can be very difficult to understand.” Dorbec entered the conversation. “Unless you are raised in America or force fed American movies all your life, it is difficult to comprehend all their myriad vernaculars. Even the English who invented the absurd language can barely understand them.”

At that moment comma they reached the summit of the mountains and Khan signaled for them to take a break. Spread out beneath them was the sprawling City of Caesarea, running from the lower slopes down to the blue Mediterranean Sea several miles in the distance.

The most impressive part of Caesarea was its harbor, Sebastos. At the time it was built in the first century BC, Sebastos Harbor ranked as the largest artificial harbor built in the open sea. King Herod built two moles, or breakwaters, between 22 and 15 BC, and he dedicated the city and harbor to Caesar (Sebastos is Greek for Augustus).

They could see a double aqueduct that brought water from springs at the foot of Mount Carmel, and in the distance theatres, public baths and other Roman architecture. A massive wall surrounded the city proper, but there was many mud and straw dwellings scattered beyond the protection of the walls.

“Doesn’t look any different than what we see on TV half the time,” Carney stated. “Only thing missing is vehicles.”

“Attire has changed little over the ages in this part of the world.” Dorbec pulled at the dusty wool tunic he wore. “When you see the Roman Legionnaires and officials, then you will notice the difference.”

An hour before noon they were well into the outskirts of the city. Sumptuous villas behind solid brick walls lined the road, outdoor theaters and beautiful gardens were everywhere, circuses, hundreds of white columnar temples, scores of bath houses, toga clad residents being carried on slave powered platforms, and professional soldiers watching the crowds with squinted eyes and dour looks.

The sharp smell of sausages and garlic reminded them of their recent diet of bread and cold mutton, and a buzz of fierce activity from merchants, shopkeepers, blacksmiths, tavern keepers, and a throng of excited people filled the streets, painting a vivid portrait of ancient splendor.

Although the bustle and beauty of the city of Caesaria was spread all around them, the unmistakable evidence of its cruelty and barbaric nature was also present. Dozens of beggars swamped them as soon as they entered through the main gate. Thin starving children were everywhere, slaves comma were an ever-present cheap commodity, and raw human sewage lay in the gutters and alleyways along with discarded trash, clouds of flies, and the occasional body of a dead animal.

The smell was overpowering. Combined with the odor of garlic and olive oil, a hundred other odors fought for dominance. Chief among them was the acrid smell of urine and unwashed bodies. Although the Romans took pride in their baths, the tepidariums, unctuariums, calidariums, and frigidariums, it was obvious that the indigenous locals and nomadic people had yet to adopt and appreciate the cleanliness.

The further they progressed into the city the cleaner the streets became. Sewers took the place of open cesspools, mosaic walkways covered with marble colonnades became dominant, they noted that the majority of the population now wore Roman dress, shaved their faces, and cut and styled their hair in Roman fashion. Bath houses became more common as did temples dedicated to Roman gods and goddesses. Slaves, dressed in clean tunics of various colors, denoting they belonged to wealthy houses, clogged the streets on errands for their masters.

As they neared the praetorium of the financial procurator, a great hippodrome and amphitheater spread out to their left. There was also a gigantic complex of warehouses bordering the huge harbor. They finally halted in front of a marble columnar building with white stucco facing. Several alert guards stood sentry duty near a massive entranceway.

Doctor Dubenchiek signaled for them to halt and strode over to a well-dressed and important looking man. He talked with the man for a few moments then returned.

“This is the Prefect’s headquarters.” He pointed back over his shoulder at the huge building. “Brother Contadino will enter with me. The rest of you will remain outside. Once I have gained an audience with one of the Prefect’s administrators and received permission to conduct business in Judaea, we will leave immediately for Jerusalem. General Khan you will keep close tabs on our unwilling allies.”

Khan glared at Chester then opened his mouth to speak.

“No talking.” Dubenchiek reminded him. “And that goes for them too.” He pointed at Chester and his men.

They waited in the hot sun for what seemed like hours. Their hunger was starting started to become apparent. Every time a food vendor passed with delicious smelling sausages or roasted chicken or some other edible delight, their stomachs growled in fierce complaint. However, not knowing the exchange value of the money they carried with them they were reluctant to approach the vendors.

Corpsman John Carney was the first to break the monotony. He had been keeping kept a sharp eye on Khan and his five Brotherhood goons and as soon as none were watching closely, he cornered a vendor and held up a pair of small forceps from his medical bag. The merchant looked closely at the forceps then a wide grin spread across his greasy bearded face.

Carney pointed at the forceps; down at the sausages the man was hawking, then back at the forceps. The vendor finally grasped that he wanted to barter. He grabbed a large handful of sausages and held them up and cocked his head sideways. Carney smiled as if considering the bargain. The vendor held up another string of sausages and several small roasted chickens. Carney smiled and handed the forceps to the man who strode away gawking at the strange utensil.

Khan strode up and was about to grab Carney by the shoulder when Dorbec and Chester quickly forced their way between them. Dorbec offered Khan a sausage then smiled as he handed one to Ariana.

Upset, Khan threw the sausage to one of his men and grabbed one of the roasted chickens and strode several paces away. He started devouring the small bird, bones and all. Whoa!

The food was delicious, although the sausages were on the spicy side and they were soon digging into their water skins and bottles.

Oddball had a distant look on his face and finally approached Chester. He leaned close to whisper something into Chester’s ear. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, Khan bellowed ‘no’ without actually saying no.

“He’s got to relieve himself!” Chester spat back at Khan. Khan shook his head, denying him the opportunity.

“Those are relief stations over there.” Dorbec pointed at a circular building without a roof. Several men were obviously urinating inside because a number of urine streams could be seen splashing through grates in the floor. A partition covered the men from the knees to the chest so that only their lower calves and heads were visible. “We had them in France up until a few years ago. Some places still have them.”

Khan waved at two of his men to accompany Oddball to the pisseur. Lars and Claude started to join them but Khan waved them off with a finger. “One at a time,” he stated.

Half an hour later, a serious problem presented itself.

The vendor, who had sold them the sausages and chickens, was talking with two men in togas. One of the men had a small purple stripe on the hem of his toga, which signified he was of senatorial rank. The vendor pointed to where they were standing and the two wealthy looking men approached them.

“I need to know where this came from?” One of the men said, holding up the forceps, which had been traded for their food. His Latin was very rapid and when no one replied, he switched to very poor Aramaic.

“He wants to know where the forceps came from.” Ariana spoke to Chester instead of Kahn. “I think we made a serious mistake. The forceps are made of stainless steel, a product that does not exist at this time in history. It wasn’t in general use until the twentieth century. If he gets a look into that bag and discovers the contents, we are in serious trouble.”

To compound the situation, a column of Roman soldiers marched quickly into view. By the look of the ornate and expensive litter being carried by four healthy, well-dressed slaves, they were escorting another person of considerable importance.

The two Roman toga clad men stood aside as the litter halted, then waved at the man climbing down.

Chester heard the name Pontius Pilate mentioned along with a laundry list of titles and accolades. His Latin was good, but the pronunciation was difficult to follow.

He rolled his eyes at Dorbec who had also heard the name mentioned. The man they called Pontius Pilate slowly approached them, followed closely by the two wealthy men. The Decurion of the twelve-man guard regarded them with cold suspicion.

“You were told to leave your medical bag behind.” Chester swore at Carney.

“A Corpsman never goes anywhere without his bag,” Carney angrily replied. “Besides, I did leave it behind, I just poured its contents into this goat skin bag I’m carrying.”

“Merde!” Dorbec spat.

Great place to end it. You're keeping the tension up very nicely!

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

131
131
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Chapter 62

May 17, 2012 – New Berlin Base – Antarctica





The Nazi time ship was large and could carry a complement of thirty passengers plus crew along with their gear. Monday’s team consisted of, Scout, Weps, Bones, Dom, Lofton, and Henri. Monday and Henri spoke Latin, Dom spoke Latin and Aramaic.

Wilhelm von Liegntz commanded the Nazi contingent. Wilhelm had with him Doctor Vlad Szekler, Fleischer, Lieutenant Beck and twelve Commandos. Wilhelm spoke Latin and Szekler spoke Latin and Aramaic.

The decision was made passive voice who made the decision? to travel as a Roman military replacement force. Wilhelm’s cover was posing as a new Centurion posted to the Tenth Fretensis Legion, and a duty assignment with the, Cohors Prima Augusta, a unit known to be stationed in Judaea in that era. Other Roman units stationed in Judaea during that time period were the, Cohors Prima Italica Civium Romanorum, and the Cohors Secunda Italica Civium Romanorum, primarily auxiliary units.

Doctor Szekler was a provincial administrator assigned to assist the Prefect with religious matters, while the remainder of the commandos and Monday’s Team were simple Legionaries, always welcome replacements.

Szekler explained that official looking documents had been forged with the Senate and Emperor Tiberius’s signatures. Should the local Prefect, Pontius Pilate, or Judaean Tetrarch Phillip become suspicious, it would take months to verify the authenticity of their claims. Before then, their mission would be completed one way or another.

One of the main problems that the Prefect had to cope with, was religion. The Romans were tolerant of different cultures and religions, and Judaism was a respected cult. As long as the Jews paid their taxes, the Romans did not really care about their beliefs.

There were some differences of opinion, but none that could not be overcome. For example, the Romans demanded taxes in money, but Mosaic Law forbade the use of coins with an image of the emperor or a pagan god; therefore, the Jews were allowed to use coins without the emperor's head when they were in Jerusalem.

However, there were aspects of Judaism that at least some Romans considered barbarous: the best known example is the circumcision of children who were not of an age to consent with this mutilation.

They were subjected to a short class on ancient Roman customs. Little errors could easily jeopardize the mission. Little things like; footwear also defined a person's position in society. Women wore closed shoes that were white, green or yellow. Men wore sandals. Patricians wore red sandals with an ornament at the back. Senators wore brown footwear with black straps that wound round the leg to mid-calf, where the straps were tied. Consuls wore white shoes, and soldiers, heavy boots.

Roman dress differed from one class to another. The tunic was worn by plebeians (common people), herdsmen and slaves was made from a coarse dark material. The tunic worn by patricians was made from white wool or linen. Magistrates wore the tunic augusticlavia, and senators wore a tunic with broad strips, tunica laticlavia. Military tunics were shorter than those worn by civilians.

A Roman could tell how important or wealthy a person was from their toga. Free Roman men wore the toga instead of a cloak. It was originally an Etruscan garment worn in earlier times by both men and women of all classes. The toga was made from white wool or white Egyptian linen. It was square or rectangular in shape and was worn draped around the body.

The toga was worn often during state occasions. Consuls and senators wore a toga edged with purple.

The Romans switched to comfortable tunics, which looked like long tee-shirts. They were far more practical. Tunics were made of cool linen, for summer wear, and warm wool, for winter wear. Sometimes, they worn trouser like garments

Prior to leaving on their mission, each member had to learn the composition of the basic Roman Army of the time. Although Szekler and Wilhelm would do most of the talking, a misplaced title or strange phrase could jeopardize the mission.

A Roman Legion was comprised of ten cohorts, known simply as "The first cohort", "The second cohort" etc. The first cohort was considered to be the most senior and prestigious, and the tenth the least.

A cohort consisted of six "centuries" of 80 men, each commanded by a Centurion assisted by junior officers. At various times prior to the reforms, a century might have meant a unit of 60, 80 or 100 men. It is almost certain that the most senior centurion of the six would have commanded the entire cohort.

In order of seniority, the six centurions were titled hastatus posterior, hastatus prior, princeps posterior, princeps prior, pilus posterior and pilus prior (most senior). This followed the order of seniority in the earlier legions, where the youngest and least experienced units were termed hastati, next principes, and the oldest and most experienced triarii (pilus was an alternative name for triarius, the singular of triarii).

During the first century AD, the command structure and make-up of the legions was formally laid down, in a form that would endure for centuries. The first cohort was now made up of five double-strength centuries totaling 800 men, the centurion of its first century automatically being the most senior in the legion: the primus pilus or "first file". (Note that pilus is file and pilum is spear.)

The legion at this time numbered about 5,400 men, including officers, engineers and usually a small unit of cavalry (equites); 120 men and horses.

What was more difficult for them to learn in short notice was the composition of their weapons and armor. It wasn’t like the movies where they could pretend; they had to be capable of using the equipment and weapons.

Their equipment consisted of a functional tunica, caligae, balteus (very important) with a pugio, and a pera (bag) for needed tools. Some of the men were equipped with a pilum or a short hasta/lancea, and a gladius, helmet (coolis type) shield, insignias, etc. They were equipped with the Hamatas armor, the newer Segmentatia armor having not arrived in Judaea yet. Their shields were oval since they were auxiliary and they would not have the Augustian scuta which was for the Legionnaires. Szekler’s orders were for everyone to keep their mouths shut and eyes open.

One thing they realized early on was that most Roman armor did not shine and few wore the glittering armor portrayed in the movies. They used a lot of chain mail (a sort of cloth made of circular links), which doesn't shine. They also made scale armor (metal plates about 3 inches long and about an inch wide, sewn together on a linen/leather backing.) Scale armor shines a little, but not much. And, they made leather armor, with the metal on the inside, or at least under the leather, probably again on a backing of linen, to make three layers. So, although the ancient Romans loved the ornate and glittery, their armor most probably did not shine!

Because of his commanding appearance, Monday was designated a Tesserarius, or commander of forty, and assistant commander of the detail. Henri, because he spoke Latin, was designated a Decurion, or commander of ten.

The trip through time was completely unnoticed. One minute they were orbiting in space, the next they landed on a dark night on the road from Bethany to Jerusalem. The date was June 10th, 27 A.D. Szekler chose that date because he figured it would be early enough to pinpoint the location of Jesus and also give him time to ingratiate himself with Pontius Pilate’s court. A well-placed administrator was given all the juicy details about the comings and goings of merchants, caravans, and strangers. Szekler also figured that The Brotherhood would want to try to assassinate Jesus before he started spreading his gospel. Szekler also chose Jerusalem instead of Ceasarea, the location of Pilate, because the local garrison commander would most likely be a junior centurion and dumb as doornails.
This is all important and good information but if sounds like an info dump. You could talk about what each member wore when we see them in the past. Maybe have them talking about the classes they took or reciting facts as they are transported to the past. Otherwise, I think it read too much like a history book, not that I mind reading a history book, just most readers of fiction aren't looking for that.

They timed their landing for several hours before dawn when most of the inhabitants would be sleeping. Even so, a small caravan of half a dozen men and donkeys was terrified to see a glowing object land near the road. As they fearfully approached the strange object, a portal opened in the side and Roman soldiers started walking out. They quietly hid behind a small pile of boulders and rocks.

The pilots of the craft warned Wilhelm that locals were in the area. Heat sensors quickly found them hiding behind a small mound of rocks. Wilhelm ordered Lieutenant Beck to clean up the situation.

Monday glanced at the retreating form of Beck and several commandos. “You’re not going to start things by killing innocent people?”

Wilhelm smiled back. “No. They are not innocent; they are guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. No doubt their story, of Romans coming from a flaming meteor would they have called it a meteor in Roman times? that landed on the road, would be just another tale of ignorant men affected by desert heat and would be readily dismissed by the locals, but we do not need members of The Brotherhood learning about such a thing. They can put two and two together and figure out that it was the landing of our time ship.”

A quick burst of automatic weapons fire and the screaming of dying men came from the dark. A few moments later Lt. Beck returned. “Five men and one boy,” he stated. “Also a small herd of goats, two donkeys, and a pile of junk. Probably things they were going to sell in town.”

“Load the bodies into the Fliegenkämpfer. I will have them dumped at sea.” Wilhelm acted as if nothing had happened. He turned and ordered one of the commandos to offload his stallion from the airship. The only animals they brought were two donkeys and his stallion. A centurion would not be expected to walk the dusty roads with his infantrymen. “Save the two donkeys, we’ll use them as pack animals, but load the junk with the bodies. We don’t need someone identifying private property. Just let the goats run free. I’m sure some local tribe will steal them before the day is over.”

Monday turned away to see the smiling face of Dieter Fleischer. Evidently Fleischer had accompanied the commandos on their grisly errand. Fleischer looked as if he had really enjoyed the brutal murders.

Two hours later they were well along the road towards Jerusalem. Wilhelm was in the lead riding his mount, constantly complaining about having no stirrups. He had forgotten they hadn’t been invented yet. The rest of the men were strung out in two parallel lines in imitation of marching soldiers. They paid no attention to dress and order, since auxiliaries were not expected to be as sharp as Legionnaires, and it was also too hot and dusty to care.

Several times they passed locals on their way to market. They had no problem with them, they simply moved off the road to make way for the Romans. They were familiar with soldiers and kept their distance when possible.

One thing Monday did notice was a lack of scent. The locals stunk, whereas their small unit had little odor, other than normal body sweat and road grime. The Roman diet was heavy in garlic so they would have to rectify that as soon as possible. Their odor, or lack of odor, was clearly noticeable.

The terrain had changed very little over time. Monday had spent many months in the deserts of Arabia and throughout Israel and knew the lay of the land. One thing he did notice as they drew closer to Jerusalem was much less irrigated land. Obviouslycommathe people of this era did not have the luxury of irrigation pumps and massive water systems, so the land had not been reclaimed yet.

Around nooncomma they reached the summit of a small rise and saw the great city of Jerusalem laid out before them. The massive walls surrounding the city were imposing, walls that no longer existed in modern times. A steady stream of people were entering and leavingentered and left through the massive gates, Is it passover? Is Jesus in the city? and even from their distance they could hear the buzz of thousands of yelling people and noisy animals. They were still too far away to smell the open sewers and putrid stench of the metropolis, but Monday could visualize it in his mind. He shuddered at the thought of all the disease and corruption that such a place bred.

As they neared the great city, Monday spotted a hill to his right that resembled a skull. Golgotha? He thought. “Is that the place where Jesus was,I would go with a dash or ... here would be, crucified?

He knew that the Bible called the place where Jesus was crucified Golgotha—an Aramaic word meaning "the skull." Calvary was the Latin form of the word. Scripture did not reveal the precise location of Golgotha. It simply stated that Jesus’ crucifixion took place outside the city of Jerusalem, though near it. Jewish law did not permit executions and burials inside the city. Further, Jesus was undoubtedly crucified near a well-traveled road, since passersby mocked him. The Romans selected highly visible places by major highways for their public executions. The crucifixion probably took place on a hill, because it was at an elevation high enough to be plainly visible at a distance.

As they passed the hill and entered the gate to ancient Jerusalem, Monday noticed Dom make the sign of the cross. His thoughts were obviously along the same lines.
Oh boy! I'm wondering what's gonna happen when the two groups meet.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
132
132
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 61

May 18, 2012 – McMurdo Station - Antarctica



As soon as the door to the C-130 opened, Megan knew she was in her version of hell. Hot weather never bothered her, but she genuinely loathed cold weather, hated it with an overwhelming passion. Now, here she was on the coldest continent in the world and their pilot said a blizzard was moving in. The memory of the day her feet almost froze while ice skating in college suddenly kicked in. She made a promise to herself on that awful day that she would never willingly go out in cold weather unless it was to get from work to home and shopping.

In the distance, through a fog of snowflakes, Megan could see the pale lights of several buildings. She knew they were much closer than they appeared, but the thick snow flowing down clouded her perception.

A grinning lieutenant bent over and spoke into her ear. “Follow me mam, and keep close.”

He was Navy Lieutenant Mallard Beartalker, a Native American of the Navajo Nation. He was from a military family. His grandfather was in the Marine Corps Signal Unit designated Windtalkers during World War II, and his father retired from the US Navy as a Master Chief. Beartalker was assigned to Navy Special Warfare Group Two, Seal Team 4, stationed out of Little Creek, VA. Lots of was in this paragraph

General Jones, via the CNO, personally ordered him to deploy with his entire platoon, consisting of two officers and fourteen enlisted men, as security for Ms. MacKenzy. Beartalker exercised his authority and brought along two EOD Operators, and a brand new Ensign, turning the platoon into nineteen effectives.

This was not his first trip to McMurdo Station. Years earlier he had deployed here to undergo special warfare training under arctic conditions. Mallard waved off the Airforce guide and raced towards Building 115, the same building Monday and his steam had been directed to. He kept a close watch behind him to ensure that the scientist, Ms. MacKenzy was following followed.

As they entered the building the heat was suddenly unbearable, although it was maintained at a comfortable 72 degrees. Lt. Beartalker directed her to a row of cafeteria tables and Megan immediately started pealing off layers of clothing. She glanced around the room and noticed a dozen or so occupants, most drinking coffee or enjoying a leisurely meal. was in this paragraph

“”They’re assigning quarters to you, Ms. MacKenzy.” Beartalker helped her shuck Oo! Great verb! off a particularly difficult sweater. “We may as well enjoy some lunch while we’re waiting.”

The rest of Beartalker’s Team filed in and joined them at the table. They were a rugged, professional bunch of young men. Each looked as if he could eat his weight in iron and spit out nails. But, they were often referred to as ‘the best of the best’ among America’s Special Operations Forces.

Megan had no idea why she had been assigned such a powerful and expensive bodyguard. She had not even mentioned the strange phone call she had received and the warning right after she left the conference. In fact, she had practically forgotten about it herself. Fortunately, the scientific community at McMurdo had eighty percent of the equipment she needed, so preparations for departure moved at a very fast pace.

Her thoughts were interrupted passive voice by something the Lieutenant said. “Food?” he pointed towards the cafeteria line while watching the quizzical expression on her face.

“No thanks,” Megan replied. “Some coffee, hot and black, would be delish.”

One of the Petty officers got up and rushed to fill her order. Megan nodded her thanks and turned to speak with the Lieutenant.

“Lieutenant Beartalker?” she asked, making certain of his name.

“That’s me, mam!”

“Enough of this mam stuff,” Megan smiled. “Call me Megan, not Meg, but Megan. “I know you probably got your surname from your Native People, but I’ve been curious about your first name, Mallard. Anything to do with the mallard duck? Your totem perhaps?”

Beartalker gave her a huge grin. “Figured you’d get around to the name sooner or later, everyone does. My family name, Beartalker, was given to me because my grandfather said that I used to talk to bears when I was a boy, not that I remember though. Bears frighten me. I was probably talking talked to my Teddy Bear. My father gave me the name of Mallard after US President, Millard Fillmore. He liked him for some reason. Said he knew what he was talking about when he ran for US President under, The Know Nothing Party. Says all white men should have been in that Party, because they knew nothing about Native Americans.” Have you ever seen the commercial with Millard Fillmore soap on a rope? I laugh. The first capital of Utah was Fillmore because it's located in the middle of the state. Not much happening there now. They occassionaly film the TV show Big Love there. But I digress.

“Mallard?”

“My father couldn’t spell worth a damn either,” he grinned. “Mallard Fillmore it was, so Mallard Beartalker I became. With a name like MacKenzy I’m thinking you are either Scottish or Irish?”

“Both!” Megan reached up for her hot coffee just arriving. “My Dad was Scottish, my Mum was Irish. Me, I don’t give a hoot either way. I appreciate my heritage and have learned the customs of both, but I yam who I yam…just me.”

Beartalker’s voice shifted into a quiet serious mode. “I must talk with you in private once you have been assigned quarters.” He gave Megan a nod and glanced around the room. “I have a special message which must be delivered to your ears only, a verbal message.”

“Cloak and dagger stuff,” Megan smiled. “I love that. “I think it was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candle stick.”

Beartalker grinned then thanked the Petty Officer for bringing his food.

Megan glanced down to see him dig into a huge plate of French Fries smothered with brown gravy and jalapino peppers. “Awesome!” she blurted. “My favorite kind of food.” She noticed the other team members also had heaping plates in front of them. “Do you guys always eat like this?”

Beartalker finished a mouthful before answering. “In Special Ops, you never know when your next meal may be so we have developed a habit of keeping the tank full. I learned that from a special friend, a history professor at Loyola University, who was ex Army Special Forces. Doctor Stiehl tried to recruit me for the Army but my family background is solid squid.”

“Doctor Monday Stiehl? Megan asked.

“Same man. With a moniker like Monday, who could forget him?”

“I’ve read quite a number of his publications. He’s a rather famous archeologist. His latest find, the tomb of Marcus Nonius Macrinus, a favorite of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, has been in all the scientific journals. A brilliant man. I’d love to meet him someday.”

“You may have an opportunity to meet him sooner than you think.” Beartalker glanced around again. “My message concerns him, and others.”

Megan’s interest suddenly perked up. Why would a world famous archeologist be anywhere near Antarctica? There was something strange going on, something other than the Crust Displacement. Lieutenant Beartalker was probably the best there was at what he did, but he was pretty damn lousy at hiding his emotions. She could tell he was dying to get something off his chest, but why it would concern her she didn’t have the vaguest notion. was in this paragraph

“I think I will have some food,” Megan stated, her appetite whetted by the smells and satisfied grunts of eating around her. A Petty Officer started to get up but she waved him back down to finish his meal. “I’m not helpless, and I’m no Navy big shot either,” she smiled. “A plate of French Fries smothered with chili and topped with dill pickles sounds wonderful,” she muttered, as she headed in the direction of the counter. “And a strawberry shake.”

Almost before she finished her hasty meal comma an Air Force officer approached the table and advised them that their quarters were ready. Due to the inclement weather he had a snowcat running, warmed up and waiting just outside the cafeteria door.

Megan glanced up from her chili fries. “The rest of my team here yet Colonel?”

“They’re due to land in about two hours, mam.” The officer replied. “I’m Captain Spears. Thanks for the promotion though.”

“Can’t tell a lieutenant from a colonel, period” Megan smiled. “I prefer sergeants anyway, they’re the ones who know what they’re talking about.”

“Got that right, mam!” One of the Navy chiefs gave her a high five.

Half an hour later Lieutenant Beartalker knocked on her door. As soon as she opened it, Beartalker and a chief chief? What kind of chief? Since Beartalker is Native American, the reader might assume it means... quietly entered. The chief had some type of electronic instrument in his hand and he slowly covered every inch of the small two room quarters. Satisfied, he shook his head at Beartalker then quickly left the room.

“Bugs.” Beartalker walked over and sat down at a small table. “Never know when Uncle Sugar or someone else wants a ring side seat at your private conversation.”

Megan joined him at the table. “The mystery? I almost forgot about it.”

“What I am about to tell you comes from the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.” Beartalker sounded solemn. “The big cheese himself.”

“Shoot!” Megan placed her elbows on the table and pulled her feet up in her seat. She was wearing Donald Duck slippers.

“The President and other top level members of our government have not been honest with you. They have know for sometime where the source of the Earth Shift is originating and exactly who’s behind it.”

Megan simply nodded her head for him to continue.

The President and many other world leaders belong to a secret organization named, The Brotherhood. The object of this organization is to create world peace at any price. Once they have achieved their goal, they will be the new leaders of the entire world. There will be no separate nations only one ruling body. Top leaders in the US Special Operations Command, along with the top leaders of most of the US military, all branches, are aware of this and intend to prevent it from happening if at all possible.”

“So why haven’t you acted before now?”

Beartalker hunched his shoulders. “There is another organization, the one responsible for the Earth Crust Displacement, and they are extremely powerful. So powerful in fact that without the military might of the other nations combined with ours, we probably could not defeat them.”

“Another bunch of brothers in the hood?”

“They are mortal enemies of The Brotherhood. They are Neo-Nazis and have been preparing for this move since before the end of World War II. It would take all night to tell you everything the military knows about them. Suffice to say they have the power to generate the Earth Crust Displacement, or ECD we’re calling it, and they also have nuclear weapons and technology far beyond our present capabilities.”

“Just when I thought it was safe to go outside and play.” Megan muttered. “Why don’t you simply let these two rival gangs go at each other?”

“Militarily, The Brotherhood is very weak. Their power comes from their world wide political and financial connections. Their goal is to travel back through time and assassinate Jesus Christ and Muhammad to prevent their religious dogma from spreading. They believe that, not only will this germinate world peace, it will wipe the Nazis from history.”

“Jesus Christ!” Megan blurted. “I mean, time travel, Nazis, assassinations, are you sure you’re not making all this up?” Good reaction. I would think she would be skeptical.

“It’s all true, Megan.”

Megan stood and walked to the small refrigerator in her dining area. She removed a root beer then returned to the table. “Why tell me? For that matter, why send me to the end of the world when your generals and admirals already know what in hell is going on?”

“We believe you have the ability to help us prevent The Brotherhood from succeeding, and their failure may generate enough concern to unite the nations of the world against the Nazis.”

“I’m a scientist, not a magician.” Megan raised her root beer in a toast. “But, lay it on me, I can take it.”

I like Megan. She's got spunk!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
133
133
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 58

May 16, 2012 – The White House, Washington D.C., USA



The President glanced at Director Rafferty, who was slouched low in the conference chair several spaces down from him. “Is there any way to stop or slow this Earth shift or crust displacement or whatever it is you call it, Jim?”

Rafferty took his time to reply, putting on an imposing face and puffing out his chest as he did. He was very good at acting and was often told he should have become an actor instead of a politician. “My Assistant Director, Ms. MacKenzy, has gone over the data with practically every research facility on the planet,” Mr. President. “Their conclusions are, the only way to stop the displacement is to destroy the source that is causing it.”

“And what is that source, Director?” Both the President and Director Rafferty knew exactly what the source was, as did half a dozen others sitting around the conference table, but for the benefit of those who were not part of, The Brotherhood, the question had to must be raised.

Rafferty nodded at Megan to answer the question.

“Something is creating a powerful geomagnetic anomaly located near or beneath Antarctica,” Megan began. Despite having been called on late in the evening to fly to D.C. to attend this impromptu conference, a conference consisting of the highest levels of the government, Megan was not intimidated by the presence of so many political big shots. The way she saw it, they put their pants on the same way she did, even if theirs cost more. fun! That gives us some idea about her character and makes her easier to relate to.“I have given this data and the same answer to half a dozen government departments throughout the day. If they’re absorbing it, they certainly don’t seem to be particularly alarmed.”

The President was concerned about the crust displacement, but he also knew that The Brotherhood’s mission; now dubbed ‘Project Prometheus’, was scheduled to get underway within the hour. If it was successful, or rather, when it was successful, they need not worry about the Nazis any more. He still had to give the appearance that the government was doing all it could do to solve the impending catastrophic situation. was in this paragraph

“How far has the displacement progressed, Mrs. MacKenzy?”

“That’s Ms. MacKenzy, Mr. President.” Megan wanted him to know that she was not Director Rafferty’s flunky. “Latest reading is at a 2.1 degree shift and it appears to be oscillating, speeding up and slowing down. It’s as if someone is controlling the displacement in order to stabilize any tectonic activity generated by the movement of the crust.”

“Is there any way to pinpoint the exact location of the disturbance and what may be creating it?”

“Get me close enough to the area and I can tell you precisely where it’s coming from,” Megan replied. “As for what’s causing it, that’s another story. There’s presently no scientific explanation for the anomaly?”

The President turned to the Chairman of the Joint Chief’s of Staff. “General Jones, will you see to it that Director Rafferty and his staff have transportation to Antarctica as soon as possible?”

“I believe that Ms. MacKenzy will be in charge of that expedition,” Rafferty cut in. “I am engaged in other important matters at this time.” He passed a knowing look at the President.

“Ms. MacKenzy, how long will it take for you to organize a research team and be ready to depart?”

Megan glanced at the smug look on Rafferty’s face. As Director, he should be the one in command of such a desperate effort to find the source of the shift. That’s what happens when you place a political crony in an important position, she thought. Our wonderful government at work!

"‘If I have carte blanche on the personnel and equipment I will need we can be ready to go within twenty-four hours.”

“You have it Ms. MacKenzy.” The President also glanced at Rafferty’s smug face. “Please coordinate with General Jones on your schedule and other needs.” His final words told Megan that she was being officially dismissed. Obviously, there were other issues the conference wished to discuss and she was not invited to stay for the party.”

Megan grabbed her handbag and pushed her seat back against the table. She nodded to the President and glanced at Director Rafferty as she quietly left the room.

General Jones smiled when he noticed that she wore purple work boots with white and pink polka dot socks. “Definitely don’t give a damn about what other people think of her, he grinned. He passed a note to his aide with his personal phone number on it to pass on to Ms. MacKenzie before she left the building.

“Get your s*** together, Ted.” Megan said into her cell phone. “We’re leaving for Antarctica as soon as the military can get us there.”

Ted moved the cell phone from his ear and held it at arm length to look at it, as if the phone had just bitten him. “Antarctica?” Good visual!

“I’m waiting on my shuttle flight to New York now,” Megan answered. “Here is a list of people I want you to call and a list of equipment I need for them to have ready to go by tomorrow. There will be no excuses or delays from anyone about anything. I have carte blanche from the President.”

Megan rattled off a short list of people and long list of equipment and supplies they would need. When she hung up with Ted, her phone started ringing. The number was one she did not recognize.

When she answered it a voice said, “If you go to Antarctica, you will never return.” The speaker then hung up. Megan tried to dial the number but whoever had called her must have used a pay-as-you-go phone, for it was already disconnected.

Strange, Megan thought. The only people who know I am going to Antarctica is that high level group of people around that conference table. She did not include Ted since she had just hung up with him.

another good chapter
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
134
134
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 57

May 15, 2012 – Arianni Base – Near Eclipse Island - Australia



Dorbec sat at a small table sipping a glass of Pernod mixed with spring water. Two guards showed up at their room half an hour earlier and demanded that Dorbec accompany them. He had no idea where he was and why he was separated from Chester. As soon as the guards left, a young attendant arrived and opened a hidden cabinet, which turned out to contain a wide selection of liquors and wine. The attendant suggested he make himself comfortable, then quickly left the room. interesting negotiation tactic

The room was very Spartan in appearance. The furniture was serviceable but sparse, and the small table with two chairs was strictly utilitarian. A lack of decorations indicated the room was used as a casual transit room and not one to linger in. A door led to another room, which he had no desire to explore. There was one painting on the wall, which appeared to be an original. It was a painting of ‘Painter’s Square’ in Paris, a place he often visited when in the Capitol City. The other walls were a light off green color. You may want to take a look at the number of was in this paragraph

Half way through his Pernod, the main door opened and Ariana entered. She had changed from her white blouse and casual skirt into some type of futuristic looking uniform, which did nothing to hide her slim perfect figure. Although she carried herself like a debutante, head up, back straight, and sharp eyes searching her surroundings, she appeared to be upset about something.

Dorbec slouched down further into his chair as she slowly walked over to the small table. He acted as if he was suddenly fascinated with the milky texture of his drink and that her presencewas not worth noticing.

Ariana stood quietly looking at him then finally broke the silence. “I did not know what they were planning. The Council has yet to spread the information to the rest of us. All we have been told is that world piece peace is possible and they now have the means to achieve it.”

Dorbec took a sip of his drink and swirled the clouded glass around in his hand. “Assassination was never mentioned?” He still refrained from looking at her.

Ariana walked over to the cabinet and poured herself a glass of wine, then returned and sat in the seat opposite him. “Our people will not condone such action. The Council is acting against every principal and law we believe in. The taking of human life, even by proxy, is strictly forbidden.”

Dorbec finally looked into her beautiful violet eyes. His intuition told him she was telling the truth. He was a great judge of character and he could sense the gnawing tension in her. This was the type of nervousness that signified something had gone wrong in her peaceful little world and she did not know what to do about it.

“What will your people do when they discover the ugly truth?”

Ariana took a sip of her wine and started to rub a spot on the glass. “I have been ordered to speak to no one about anything that I have heard.”

“I see.” Dorbec smiled. “The Council is hiding the secret from the people, a secret that the people would disapprove of, and you have been ordered to keep quiet about it. You don’t know whether to follow the orders of the Council, or to spread the word to the people.”

Ariana nodded her head.

“My friend, Doctor Stiehl, teaches his men that to obey an illegal order, an order that will kill innocent people, is a criminal act. He says that too many people throughout history have given the defense, ‘I was only following orders.’ If you knew the act was wrong before you did it, you are not only guilty of complicity in the act, but guilty in your failure to prevent it.”

“Should I spread the word, the families of Colonel Schmitt and his men will be terminated,” Ariana whispered. “I don’t want that on my conscience either.”

“A good old case of blackmail, period” Dorbec chuckled. “I take it The Brotherhood has the upper hand in this scheme?

Ariana nodded her head again. “Over time, they have mapped the coordinates of our hidden bases and delivered them to highly placed members of their organization. Should the Council default in using our time ships to assist them in their ugly scheme, they promise we will be destroyed by nuclear strikes.”

Dorbec thought about her answer for a few minutes. Everything sounded logical and it was highly conceivable that The Brotherhood had such powerful connections. If they could force the US Government to kidnap family members of their own armed forces, then anything was possible.

“Why are you telling this to me and not to Chester?” Dorbec sat up straight in his chair.

Ariana shrugged her shoulders and looked at him in a apleading manner. “I sensed that you have solved many difficult problems. I do not know what to do and I need advice.”

“Do nothing for now.” Dorbec could feel her attraction towards him. It was similar to the personal magnetism he felt towards her. “We need a complete list of the important surface people who work for The Brotherhood. Do you have someone with the resources available to get this information, preferably without the knowledge of The Brotherhood?”

Ariana thought for a few minutes then nodded yes.

“We will continue on the mission as planned.” Dorbec reached for her slim hand and could feel the tension in it as he gently rubbed it. “I take it that only your people can operate the time machine, or time ships?”

“There are only two time ships because of the tremendous energy needed to operate them, and only two crews who know how to control them.”

“The jewels.” Dorbec muttered, now certain of the source of the power.

Ariana shook her head again. “We created the jewels thousands of years ago. They are not actually jewels, as you think of them, but spheres of controlled antimatter. Each individual jewel has more power than that produced by the sun. Many were lost during the terrible wars we fought in our past; wars, which encompassed both, time and space. It was one of the jewels in the hands of a mad man that almost destroyed out civilization thirteen thousand years ago.”

“So now you have some and the Nazis have some. You are using your jewels to power your time ships, what are the Nazis doing with theirs?”

“They are using them to create an Earth Crust Displacement.”

Dorbec gave her a quizzical look.

“Using the jewels and some machine they have developed to interfere with the electromagentic field, they are sliding the Earth’s crust from one point to another. The Earth’s axis will remain in the same place, but by the time their shift is completed, Antarctica will be where Europe is presently located.”

“Mon Dieu!” Dorbec yelled. “You don’t plan to stop them?”

“We cannot stop them, they are very powerful, perhaps the most powerful military force on the planet. One country could not possibly defeat them, it would take the combined miitary might of the entire Earth.”

“Surely your Council could work with the other governments of the world to prevent them from doing this. I know your people cannot take human life, but I can guarantee you the rest of the world is pretty damn good at it.”

Ariana looked deep into Dorbec’s eyes. She saw consternation and anger. POV switch. We were seeing it from Dorbec's “Our Council believes that with the successful accomplishment of The Brotherhood’s mission, the Nazis will no longer exist in history. The problem will thus solve itself.”

“Idiots!” Dorbec shot back. “Do you know if the Nazis are aware of your scheme to change history?”

Ariana appeared hurt by his sudden flair of anger. “Not my scheme,” she clarified. “We are certain they have knowledge of it. We know there are Nazi spies among us, just as we have spies among the Nazis.”

“Then they will attempt to prevent your, The Brotherhood’s, plan. Do they have the ability to time travel?

“Another one of our secrets they successfully stolen.” Ariana stood and walked to the wine cabinet to refill her glass. “They have had that secret for only a short period of time, but we are sure that by now they have at least one operational time ship.”

“That’s where the most important battle will be fought.” Dorbec shook his head. “And, that’s exactly where our Team must be. If we can somehow prevent The Brotherhood from fulfilling their mission and at the same time infiltrate the Nazi base, we have an opportunity. No doubt the Nazis will send a strike force to prevent us from altering history.”

“You will be unarmed on this mission.” Ariana sat back down and reached for his hand. “No weapons are allowed to be taken into the past.”

“We retain our most important weapon.” Dorbec pointed to his head. “Most of my battles were won here before they even begin. Do you know the location of the Nazi base?”

“Their primary base, the one they call, New Berlin, is located deep beneath Antarctica. They have several smaller bases spread around the world and use them primarily for spying, for deploying spies, and electronic eavesdropping. Unfortunately, their most important base is beyond your present capability to infiltrate.”

“Why is that?” Dorbec finished his drink.

“It’s located on the far side of Earth’s moon!”

Dorbec raised his eyebrows and let out a slow whoosh of air.

“Merde! Nazi Luna-ticks. I need another drink!” good play on words

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
135
135
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
5, 2012 – New Berlin Base – Antarctica



Monday and his team were taken under guard to their quarters. passive voice- who did the taking They were not imprisoned, per se, nor were they allowed free access to other areas of the base. A four man guard watched over their every move.

Several Nazi scientists visited them on separate occasions. During one such visit the power of the Bell was explained.passive- who did the explaining The Bell, which was a chamber that merely resembled a bell, was a device that could shift electromagnetism and it was also the main source of the propulsion of their air ships.

It is tense shift well known that electromagnetic fields can change polarity. Electromagnetic forces determine the location of a planet’s poles and the configurations of planetary systems. The planets, the moons, the rings of matter, the asteroid belt as well as comets and meteors; everything within the solar family owes its respective cosmic location to the force of electromagnetism.



So, when the electromagnetic field changes enough, the locations of the poles change, as well. The energy provided by the jewels was so powerful it had the ability to effect the electromagnetic field of the earth. By manipulating this power, Nazi scientists were given the capability to shift the Earth’s crust. By doing so slowly, over a period of six months, they would limit the amount of tectonic disruption preventing devastating volcanoes.

Antarctica would, after six months of electromagnetic manipulation, be located at the present day longitude and latitude of Europe. I would put this info in a conversation, maybe one of the scientist.


“It’s hard to decide which threat is the greatest,” Monday stated. just used stated They were into their fifth day of captivity and the waiting was getting on their nerves. Monday had seen Daria only one brief time since the day of their capture and then it was while they were being escorted to a learning center. He had had no chance to talk with her.

“This time travel stuff sounds absurd.” Henri was devouring devoured? drop the was a brochen with a thick bratwurst, the juices creeping down his chin to drip onto a soiled napkin. good image “The past is past. How can we go back to something that no longer exists? For that matter, how can we go forward in time to something that has not even happened yet?”




“Occam's razor is a meta-theoretical principle that "entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity" only a single ' that the simplest solution is usually the correct one. Therefore, the simplest solution to time travel is parallel universes. This would also eliminate the Paradox theory.”


“It’s in the good book,” Dom replied with a smile grinned?. "I swear, I’m not making it up.”



“Albert Einstein and his collaborator, Nathan Rosen, submitted a paper to the Physical Review If this is an actual title, it should be in italics or underlined with the goal of unifying gravity and electromagnetism. By creating the first theoretical model of a wormhole, Einstein and Rosen made a very bold supposition: What if a traveler fell into the mouth of something that looked like a black hole, but rather than being crushed by a singularity at the center of a black hole, they instead emerged from another mouth, potentially many light years from where he or she started? This isn't as crazy as it sounds. Einstein's theory of general relativity — our current working model for how gravity and space work — has been confirmed with countless experiments. And, as ad hoc as it sounds, an Einstein-Rosen bridge is a perfectly valid solution to the equations of general relativity. Einstein said that wormholes may be a gateway to alternate universes the math is quite complicated but on paper it is quite possible”

“That would mean that should we go back in time, assassinate a famous person before they became famous, and return to out time, history may have multiple endings,” Monday stated. use something else besides stated







This chapter was a little dryer. I would add more movement of the men. Are they discussing this is hushed tones afraid they are being watched? Are they arguing their points of view? Add more facial expressions. Make sure the skeptic is vocal about his ideas. I like how you bering the conversation back around to their friends in the end.

Have a great evening,
Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
136
136
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 55

May 15, 2012 – Polar Geophysics Group, New York, USA



Megan scanned the data for the fifth time. This was the third printout of information collected from nearly a dozen sources- astronomical calculations, seismic readings, geomagnetic changes, reports from tectnophysicist, telluric currents, even paleomagnetic data. There was no doubt about it, there was an Earth Crust Displacement occurring and it was growing at a phenomenal pace.

Megan Mackenzy was the best in her field and had proven it time and time again. She had a Ph.D in Geophysics and so many Masters Degrees in associated fields that the string of letters following her name was half a mile long. The titles and letters meant nothing to her, she was comfortable in her field and possessed a mind that devoured knowledge like Caesar Salad. comma Her appetite for learning was insatiable. Her desire to find answers to the burning questions in her mind was relentless and dominated her ever-waking moment.

Nearing forty, she still maintained a daily exercise regimen and tried to eat healthy and well-balanced meals, almost an impossibility in a research environment where one day could last thirty or more hours. Unlike some of her associates who literally put mind over matter, Megan took good care of her body, and had undergone laser surgery to get rid of the coke-bottle glasses she wore all through college. She visited the hair salon at least once a week, took lessons in dancing and enjoyed an occasional movie or opera. She was also extremely pretty, but never thought of herself as being such. Her work took precedence over marriage, therefore, she never sought nor needed a partner to share her life with.

“This is incredible!” Megan stood and waved a handful of papers around. “This can’t be happening comma but all the data says it is.” She was addressing no one in particular but several of her coworkers stopped what they were doing and looked at her with curiosity. It was uncharacteristic Megan to be so exuberant about something.

“What’cha got, Meg?” Johann Bruno was an office associate who had taken the position because one of the big oil companies turned him down for a job offering twice the pay.*Paragraph* Since Megan was Assistant Director of the Polar Geophysics Group, he basically worked for her, when he worked. Bruno had a problem with work. He was constantly late and made idiotic excuses for leaving early. Megan’s other coworker, Theodore Broadus, was just the opposite. Ted was conscientious, loved his job, and often burned the midnight oil in search of elusive answers.

“We have a situation.” Megan watched Bruno drag his doughnut stuffed carcass out of his seat and stroll in her direction. She signaled for him to sit back down. “All the data is on your computer. I want both of you to analyze it and see if you corroborate by findings.” Megan picked up her cell phone and punched in a number. She spoke for a few minutes then dialed another number. She continued speaking with each office that had supplied her with the computer information, requesting they verify the information and, if possible, obtain new data.

Several hours later she was satisfied that the data she was working with was correct. Megan had never been fearful of anything, at least nothing she could think of, but the conclusions drawn from these reports scared her. Beyond doubt, the Earth’s crust was shifting and shifting at an incredible rate. What was worse, she did not know the reason for the sudden shift.

Megan knew that crust displacement was scientifically possible, had even been probable in the past. The evidence was overwhelming that the Poles have did or hadto keep in past tensenot covered the same parts of the planet for the entire extent of our geological history.

Coral has been found in Newfoundland, ferns, fossils, coal and fossilized tree-stumps have been found in Antarctica, water lilies and fossilized palm leaves ten and twelve feet long have been found in Spitzbergen. There is evidence that the swamp cypress flourished within 500 miles of the North Pole in the Miocene epoch, and more. An earth crust displacement, as the words suggest, is was a movement of the complete outer shell of the earth over its inner layers. If you remove the peel from an orange and then reattach it to the fruit you can visualize the possibility of the peel moving over the inner layers. Tht's a point of view shift. Consider revising. The earth's crust, in theory, can theoretically change its position over the inner layers.

The presence of a liquid layer between the core and the outer crust would allow such slippage, moderated by inertial forces. There is ample evidence of polar jumps all over the planet, as traces of Glaciation are found everywhere. The impact of these events on biological organisms is devastating. Not only is the loss of life horrendous, if a jump of the poles is accompanied by an orbital jump the temperature range of the entire planet will change. Species not suited to live in this range will be wiped out.

This explains tense shift. why in the course of the Earth's history sometimes up to 90 percent of the species were wiped out. - The Permian, Triassic, and the Jurassic extinction’s are well-documented examples.

“What could be causing this change?”*Paragraph* Megan asked herself again. She remembered reading a report about scientists at Leipzig University in Eastern Germany who developed a model indicating the planet is functioning functionedlike a gigantic dynamo. The inner core with its content of heavy metals is the anchor, the liquid magma works like a clutch and the lighter ores in the planets crust act as the windings. The heavy core moves at a lesser speed than the lighter crust of the planet. Metals and ores have magnetic properties. As their field lines intersect, mechanical energy is converted into electric energy and the planet is charged up electromagnetically! Thus, the planet builds up its own electromagnetic field. So, when the electromagnetic field changes enough, the locations of the poles change as well. Therefore, an addition or discharge of energy and local changes in the strength of the field are the logical explanation for a shift of the location of a planet's poles or even the creation of a crust displacement. make sure this paragraph is all in past tense. The shift just throw the reader off.

“That would take tremendous power and incredible genius,” Megan mused. “Could it even be done?”

“What’s the verdict?” Megan went to Theodore first. Ted was a pencil slim man in his late forties, graying at the temples, practically bald on top.

“I agree.” Ted looked puzzled. “My calculations match the 1.2 degree shift you came up with. There’s no doubt about it, we are experiencing an Earth Crust Displacement.”

“Bruno?”

Bruno waved his hand indicating that he was still absorbing the data. Megan decided to continue without his questionable help. She picked up her cell phone and dialed another number.

Director Rafferty was not pleased to hear from her. Jim Rafferty was on ‘road’ status, an old military acronym that meant, ‘retired on active duty.’ In other words, Megan ran the Group, he signed the paperwork, he got the glory, and Megan got the funding.

“What you got Meg?” Rafferty took another sip of his fifth luncheon martini. His job was politics, not research. Rafferty made sure that Uncle Sugar coughed up operational funding for The Group on a regular basis. He also knew that Megan detested the nickname of Meg.

“We have a situation,” Meg stated. For at least fifteen minutes she pulled Rafferty away from his martini and steak meal. By the time she completed her findings he was halfway sober.

“My office in half an hour!” Rafferty closed his cell phone and returned it to his breast pocket. He apologized to the Representative with whom he was meeting and quickly left the expensive café.

Megan didn’t have far to go. The Director’s lavish office was on the penthouse floor of the building. She gave him plenty of time to make it back to his den, then quietly rode the elevator up to his nest.

“I have a dozen universities around the globe examining this data.” Megan plopped a thick sheaf of computer printouts down onto Director Rafferty’s empty desk. “The feedback so far has been corroborative.”

“An Earth Crust Displacement!” Rafferty did not even pick up the pile of printouts. “What rate of displacement are we looking at and can you predict the eventual polar effects?”

“If the shift continues at the speed it is presently moving, we predict that by December twenty-first of this year, the Continent of Antarctica will be located in the Northern Hemisphere, the approximate location of present day Europe to be precise.” Ah! 12/20/12.

“You’ve got to be kidding?” Rafferty looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. “Do you realize the significance of that date?”

“The end of civilization as we know it if it cannot be stopped,” Megan glared.

“It’s the doomsday date,” Rafferty continued. “For years now, every would be prophet and conspiracy theorist have predicted that on December 21, 2012, the world would come to an end. They base their ideas on some ancient Mayan predictions or some such bull.”

“We’ve discounted that theory,” Megan sighed. “Scholars from many disciplines have dismissed the idea that a catastrophe will happen in 2012. Predictions of impending doom are found neither in classic Maya accounts nor in astronomy. We believe that the Long Count calendar, which ends in 2012, misrepresents Maya history. As far as galactic alignment, black holes, wandering planets and all the other conspiracy junk is concerned, that’s all it is… junk.”

“But, it will not look that way outside academic circles.” Rafferty was ready for one of his endless and exceedingly boring lectures. “The average citizen will scream, ‘we told you so!’ If we approach the government with this they will smile and pat us on the head like good little doggies.”

“Do you realize the implications of this shift?” Megan looked flustered. “The consequences of the displacement are monumental. The Earth's crust will slide over its interior and incredible quakes and floods will shake the world. The sky will seem to fall as continents groan and shift position. Deep in the ocean, earthquakes will generate massive tidal waves, which will crash against the coastlines, flooding them. Some lands will shift to warmer climes, while others, propelled into polar zones, will suffer the direst of winters. Melting ice caps will raise the ocean's level higher and higher. All living things will have to adapt, migrate or die. Thousands of years of civilization may be torn away from our planet like a fine cobweb. This, Mr. Director, is what we refer to as an ELE, or Extinction Level Event.”

“What’s causing this shift?” Rafferty sought to change the path the discussion was taking. “Your job is to examine systems in flux and come up with answers. Is this a natural phenomenon or something created by man?”

“Man could not create something of this magnitude.” Megan replied. “Unless we had a power source far greater than anything discovered so far. As for controlling it, that is more in the realm of science fiction than science. There is, however, an indication that natural conditions are not the cause. There appears to be a significantly detectable anomaly emanating from the continent of Antarctica.”

“Antarctica!” Rafferty jumped up from his seat and grabbed the printouts lying on his desk. “Bring me up to date on your findings and readings as soon as they are verified. In the meantime comma I would like to review this data in some detail before I go further with it.” His tone of voice was dismissive.

Rafferty picked up his secure phone line and dialed a number as soon as Megan left his office. “The Nazis have initiated their program, Mr. President,” Rafferty whispered, as soon as the connection was made.

Good transitional chapter. It contains a lot of information. I would take a look at revising all the was words you have in here. But... that's just my opinion.

Have a great day,
Shalisse
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


137
137
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 54

May 11, 2012 – Arianni Base – Near Eclipse Island - Australia



“What makes you think we would volunteer to do such a thing?” Chester shrugged. “Even if it was possible?”
Right way I like this transition here, how you've gone from one conversation to the other. Nicely done!

The Councilor stood and walked over to where Chester was sitting. “Believe me, it is possible Colonel. We already have agents in place at the turn of each succeeding century after Jesus and Muhammad. Their job will be to report the time line results for their particular century. Our scientists have concluded that time is like a river full of boulders. Major historical events, or boulders, part the waters of time but they eventually merge back together until they hit another boulder in the way. Our agents are to report those boulders so that teams can eliminate them and keep the time stream, or peace in this case, flowing smoothly.”

“Why Jesus and Muhammad?” Carney asked. “Why don’t you just go back and assassinate all the bad guys like Attila and Ghengis Khan and Napoleon and Hitler?”

“The one thing that has created more war and death than any person or event in history is religion,” The Councilor replied. “Eliminate organized religion and we will effectively neutralize eighty or ninety percent of the causes of war. The remaining small boulders we can easily brush aside or gone around.”

“Christianity and Islam are major world religions.” Chester leaned on the table for support. “But, they are both offshoots of Judaism. There are also other major religions, many with significant impact on history.”

“The other religions are more peaceful and therefore more controllable. Finding Abraham, or Abram among the early Hebrew population may prove to be impossible. Judaism, or Yahadut as it is originally called, is a nomadic religious concept. At least with Christianity we have narrowed down a specific time frame and place, the same with Islam. Also, to find the correct Jesus we have an edge.”

“And what might that edge be?”

The Councilor took several steps back and turned to Dorbec. “We have a DNA sample with which to match that of Jesus.”

“How on earth did you come up with a DNA sample from someone who lived over 2,000 years ago?” Chester was curious but doubtful. I would think he would stammer this line or blurt it out.

“History records that Jesus (Yeshua) was crucified at Jerusalem on a hill called Golgatha, Aramaic for the Skull, which in fact he was. It was near a limestone quarry and outside the gates as required by law. What is not recorded in history, and intentionally and passionately left out by The Church, was the fact that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married. Being the heir to the Davidic line, and a Rabbi, Jesus was obligated by law to marry. Marriage was an important step in the progress from initiation to full community membership in the kingly line.If a rabbi did not have sons, he was not fulfilling his duty to God.” Caution! Personal note! Ok, so Jesus suffered for the sins of mankind in the Garden, and as a result is mankind's judge. According to the doctrines of my religion, He was sent to earth to gain a body, overcome the grave, redeem mankind from hell and become our savior. Well, He is supposed to be a fair, just judge because he experienced pain and suffering for us. So, how could He judge how people behave in their marriage if He did not have the experience of begin married himself? God or no God, I'm cool with the idea of his being married. It makes me feel like He understands me more. (Think of the poem Footprints in the Sand.) Sorry. I'll try not to go off on my own tangent. Hey, at least you know what someone is thinking about when they read your book. I promise not to get started on how can God ignore the prayers of 6 million Jews? *Smile*

“In September A.D.33 a daughter was born to Jesus and Mary. Her name was Tamar, meaning palm tree. There’s also a secret society named after her, The Tamar. The Tamar were well connected to the Knights Templar and it is thought by some that when the Templar where being persecuted by the Catholic Church comma the Templar passed on to The Tamar the secrets of the Arc, which they had discovered some years earlier. The Tamar still remains the worlds most secretive and yet most powerful secret society, even more secretive than, The Brotherhood.

“Mary Magdalene was allegedly exiled from Judaea in CE 44 under threat of sedition charges, and there is documented persecution of her heirs by a succession of Roman emperors. After the crucifixion, resurrection and ascension of Jesus, and beginning with Emperor Vespasian, a succession of Roman Emperors, including Titus and Domitian, issued orders to their generals in the field that the descendant heirs of Jesus and his family should be hunted down and put to the sword. Their main targets were in what is today, southern France. This information is not hearsay, it was chronicled by eminent historians such as Hegesippus, Africanus, and Eusebius.

“The Merovingian Kings of Gaul (France) alleged they were descent ed? from King David of Israel, through Mary Magdalene. This dynasty was Lords of the Franks for 300 years. Pope Zachary had their King Childeric III seized and incarcerated. In his place, Zachary installed a family of regional mayors, subsequently called Carolingians.

“Our agents have traced the bloodline of Tamar from southern France and we have found someone who is a direct descendent of Mary Magdalene and Yeshua with viable DNA. Using this DNA we can identify the true Jesus.” Is the Legend of the Black Madonna going to play in anywhere here? I think it would be kinds fun to give a passing reference to Dan Brown, like..."Come on. Are you telling me Dan Brown was right?

“And who is the unlucky person?” Dorbec was afraid too ask.

“You.” Ha!

Dorbec’s face went pale and he gripped the table with his hands to keep from jumping up. He stared into the eyes of the Councilor and saw that the man was serious. Dorbec had never been devout about religion. In his younger days he was an altar boy in the Catholic Church, but life and the military soon got in the way. Down deep he questioned the doctrine that the Church laid down as truth, but he never sincerely cared one way or the other. One thing he learned to accept though was that Jesus Christ had lived and died. “Three or four hundred generations have probably diluted the DNA to where it’s now useless,” he finally conceded.

The Councilor shook his head and walked back to the head of the conference table. Chester and the rest of the Team were looking looked at Dorbec as if they were seeing him for the first time. To discover that one among them was the alleged descendent of Jesus Christ was mind numbing.

Chester finally shook his head and pulled out of the mental cloud. “That remarkable, but totally unorthodox and probably bull-s*** history lesson, still doesn’t answer my question. Conspiracy theorists have also stated that Jesus and Mary Magdalene had two sons, Jesus and Joseph. It’s a load of crap! Once again, what makes you think we’d help you in this idiotic scheme?” I like this because perhaps the characters are being almost too accepting of all they are seeing or hearing. There should be some skepticism and balking amongst them, if for now other reason than to help them process the information, (and the reader as well.) Some debating back and forth will make it seem more realistic and help the reader accept it more.

The portly man in the expensive Giorgio Armani suit stood to answer the question. “Dorbec will help us because we will assist him in getting his sister back from the Nazis. His half-sister that is.”

Dorbec jumped to his feet, the seat falling behind him with a loud noise. “First you tell me that I am the descendant of Jesus Christ and now you’re telling me that I have a half sister, presumably Daria Wolff, the woman I recently kidnapped. You’re pushing the envelope!”

“According to your mother, Chantel Dorbec, your father was a German businessman by the name of Aeric Eichel Dietrich?”

Dorbec looked askance at the man. “Yes, that was the name she told me.”

“Aeric Eichel Dietrich was a Nazi paratrooper who settled in Argentina after the war. He was also the husband of Klara Hitler and the father of Daria Wolff. We have it all on official record.”

Dorbec sat heavily back down into his seat, his eyes staring at the table; his mind trying to absorb the incredible information overload it had just received. What is his posture like, his body language? Does he drop his face in his hands? “So, in effect, if I go back and kill Jesus then I will cease to exist, if you believe in the Paradox Theory that is. If I don’t go back, then my sister will be left in the clutches of the Neo-Nazis!”

“As for the rest of you,” the well-dressed man continued without answering Dorbec’s ramifications. “You will cooperate because every member of your family has been taken into protective custody. Their safety and security will depend on your complete cooperation.”

Chester stood and glared at the man. “Our government would never condone such action. Now I know you’re full of it!”

Brother Cencio got up and walked over to where Chester stood. He opened a laptop computer, turned it on then backed off with a wide grin on his face.

Chester watched as a recording of his wife Barbara suddenly appeared on the computer.

“What have you gotten yourself involved in Chester?” She had a scared look on her face. “The government arrested us, all of us, on charges of conspiracy to commit treason. There are other families here with us, Team families. We’re being held at some government ran run facility in the middle of…hell, they won’t say.” The recording cut off after panning around and showing members of the other families.

Brother Cencio walked strode? strutted? back to his seat and sat down with a smug look on his face. His attention reverted back to the business suit.

“A large number of people in your government, in the highest positions, are members of The Brotherhood,” the man smiled. “Among them, the Speaker of the House, many Senators, dozens of Congressmen, all of the President’s Cabinet, now, and of course, the President of the United States. They want world peace as much as the Arianni do.”

“Jesus Christ!” Oddball blurted. He then looked sheepishly at Dorbec. “Sorry ‘bout that.” funny

“This I suppose is your idea of peace?” Dorbec’s anger was pointed straight at Ariana. “Peace at any price?”

Ariana could not look at Dorbec or any of the Team members. Her emotionless gaze was fixed on the Councilor, but a red flush had expanded across her features.

“What do you get out of this?” Chester glared back at Cencio. “What does The Brotherhood stand to gain?

Cencio looked at the Suit then back at Chester. “Our mission will be to ensure world peace. A world government will be established to eliminate nationalism, another great cause of war, and to maintain a new Multiverse Corps which will monitor and control the time and dimensional stream.”

“In other words, you’re gonna be the big shots, the people at the top of the pecking order,” Carney cut in. “A real sweet gig you have going. Rulers of the world! Are you sure you don’t have ‘Der Fuhrer’ in your batting order?”

After what seemed like hours of quiet, but was only a minute or so, Chester finally glanced at each member of the team and shook his head. Their only option was to take on the assignment in the hope that somehow they could foil the members of The Brotherhood and the Arianni Council. His mind wandered to Monday and the other members of the Team, curious as to how they were coming along in their hunt for the Nazis.

“How does this time travel thing work?”



END PART TWO

Of Three Parts

Good place to leave off, The reader will want to continue.

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
138
138
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like that you were able to turn this experience into a positive. The fact that the narrator learns something about not studying is also a good thing. (I'm a teacher! *Smile* ) Thank you for reading your teacher's comments. We put those there to help. I wish you the best in your continued writing.

Regards,
Ms. J

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
139
139
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This little article is filled with wonderful advice. It is laid out in a manner that is easy to read and follow. It is also thought provoking. As I was reading it, I was doing some quick analysis of my own writing, specifically the novel I just finished. This will give me something to think about as I am working through the revision process. I would even like to share it with my creative writing class, if I may. Thank you for writing it and sharing.

Regards,
Ms. J
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
140
140
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 53

May 10, 2012 – New Berlin Base – Antarctica



“Per your orders, we have captured the men intruding at the old base.” Colonel Nachbauer came to attention and addressed Hans.

Hans returned his salute. “Well done comma Colonel. I see there were no casualties. I sincerely hope that none of your men suffered any.”



Hitler took several steps forward and scanned the men. “Her name is Daria Hitler,” he answered for her. “She is my granddaughter and her name is Hitler.” He walked over and stood in front of the line. “Doctor Prestano.comma It is a pleasure to meet such a great academician. I read your treatise on, The Early Morovingian Dynasties, and it was fascinating.”

Dom did not know how to respond so he simply nodded his head. Hitler moved on down the line to Monday. “You, I assume are Doctor Stiehl, the would be paramour of my lieblingcomma Daria?”


Hitler continued to appraise Monday with a wide grin on his face, a grin seldom seen in newsreels of the old Hitler. There was no indication of hostility. “I have also read a dossier on you, Doctor Stiehl. While not as impressive as that of the eminent Doctor Prestano, you are also an accomplished academic, as well as a one time military officer.”

“The dossier I read about you was not a complimentry complimentary- touche Monday! one,” Monday replied. He’d be damned if he’d let this make believe Hitler ride roughshod over him.






“I’ve missed you terribly,” Monday whispered in a louder tone. “Are you well. Have you been mistreated?”

“That’s just it. They have treated me like royalty. It’s like I’m suddenly pPrincess Daria. People have stumbled all over themselves to cater to my every whim.”



For a good half-hour Daria filled Monday in on everything that had happened since she was kidnapped. She was especially talkative when she elaborated on how kind and gentlemanly Señor d’Amador was and on the beauty and peace of the villa. “Oh my!” she suddenly exclaimed. “I have the strangest news.”





“Getting back to Dorbec,” Monday stated. “His entire team, with the exception of two men, were killed by the man this Hans calls Colonel Wilhelm von Liegntz. I am sure that Hans had something to do with. Dorbec has joined our side and he is with Chester on a separate mission. Two of my men also died while escaping Liegntz.”

Daria’s look was extremely upsetting. Show me. What does she do with her face? “Hans told me that Dorbec was on his way back to Europe. He said nothing about the death of his men.”



“I understand that you and Doctor Prestano would like to clean up and refreshen yourselves,” Hans stated, openly disturbed that Monday and Daria were sitting alone at the far end of the table. show me this. “But, we have important business to transact first.”






“And you do not?” Monday asked?

“Not with dozens of mixed races inhabiting the planet. Not with hundreds of countries and scores of separate political systems running amuck. The civilizations of the world comma as it is today comma are headed for eventual extinction.”



The first lab coat continued. “They sincerely believe that if they go back in time and assassinate Jesus Christ and Muhammad before they can expound on their religious beliefs, that Christianity and Islam will never be conceived or spread.” I would be going hold the phone here, time travel? Say what now?





“They may interfere with out own project, which we have just initiated. The project will take months to complete and we cannot afford the risk that they may accidentally succeed.” Which man is saying this?



“If I am going to take my team back through time and all that it implies, I need to know.” Monday sent Hans a defiant look. What does that facial expression look like?


Hitler shook his head. “That is a price we are willing to pay. New Germany will eventually be a paradise on earth. A place without war, without hunger, and without fear. We are creating the perfect society that will allow humankind to live together in peace and harmony.”

Monday’s face mirrored the shocked look on Daria’s.

Yeah, um... Hitler, Utopias never work out so well! Ok , now I'm talking to your characters! Interesting chapter!

Shalisse


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
141
141
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 52

May 11, 2012 – Arianni Base – Near Eclipse Island - Australia



Less than an hour latercomma the door to their room opened. A young man dressed in a strange uniform beckoned for them to follow him. In the small corridor they were reunited with the others. They followed behind the young man and walked down the ramp of the airship into a gigantic underground airfield. The field was as bright as day. withNovisible lighting was visible comma but it appeared to emanate from the walls and ceiling. The tarmac stretched for hundreds of yards to the right and left. Two ships approximately the same size as the one they exited was parked waited nearby? near, and a score of smaller ships could be seen in the distance. There were very few personnel around the ships or in the docking bay.

They were ushered passive voice. Who did the ushering? towards a large opening in the wall that appeared to be an elevator. Chester noted that a squad of the strangely dressed men, Arianni he assumed, halted Cencio, Khan, and their men and demanded their weapons.



“Like for killing people for no reason.” Carney cast an appraising look at Ariana. He was querulous and had obviously ran run out of chewing tobacco and unable to get to his equipment for resupply.

Ariana did not answer him but guided them into the elevator. There were at least twenty buttons on a wall panel, several up, but the majority going down. The tight quarters reminded Dorbec that a hot bath was well overdue. It didn’t take a sharp sense of smell to pick up the tang of dried sweat and other sour body odors. Ew! gross but effective imagery.



She finally switch finally and she for variety. took a smaller corridor leading off from the mall and stopped at a decorative door. “These are your quarters,” she said, addressing the five team members. Your officers will be one door down. Feel free to shower or bathe. An attendant will arrive shortly to arrange for a clean change of attire. Should you need somethingcomma please make your request known at that time. There are enough rooms and bath facilities here for each of you.”


Ariana grinned. “No need for a prison. There’s no possible way you can leave this Base without one of the airships, which you do not know how to operate. We believe you are civilized enough not to cause harm to our people. You are free to go wherever you choose so long as you do not endanger yourself. Our streets are decorated according to the different nationalities of your surface nations. We find it adds variety and a much better atmosphere. The shops and cafes are free. We do not use money here. We ask only that you respect the rights of others and act in a kind and courteous manner.” I wanna hang out there!


Ariana glanced at him as if he had made a childish remark. “The Brotherhood demanded that we separate you. For whatever reason commaI am not privy. Normally, we do not separate officers from crew or leaders from others. We are all equal in Arianni society.”




While they were showering and performing their toilet, their uniforms were cleaned passive voice- who cleaned their uniforms? and pressed. There was a large holographic television in the sitting room and Chester asked an attendant how to operate it. The attendant turned it on, and at Chester’s request, tuned it to his favorite news network.

The news was old, just a rehash of the same stuff he’d seen before. A special news flash interrupted the female anchor in mid sentence. “We repeat, the Secretary of Defense was just found dead in his D.C. townhouse. When he did not respond to calls earlier this morning, his aide went to his home to check on him. He was allegedly found lying on his living room floor. The cause of death is an apparent heart attack, although no autopsy has been performed. Speculation is rife about his replacement, but inside sources indicate that it will probably be billionaire Franklin Xavier, a long time friend and close confidant of the President.” Nice way to reveal this.


Dorbec shook his head in agreement. “I met him in Chad several months ago. He seemed to be in very good physical shape at that time. They say he had a strict exercise regimen and was very careful about his diet. comma A retired military man.”

An hour later, two people, a man and a woman dressed in military uniform, appeared at the door. The interesting thing about the doors was that when someone wanted admittance the doors turned opaque. People on the inside could see the visitor, but the visitor could not see into the room. “We are here to escort you to the Council,” the female stated. They obviously did not expect a reply. They knew that the occupants had heard their statement clearly.



As they were led to the seatspassive voice at the end of the table, Dorbec spotted Ariana sitting among their hosts. He winked at her, but got no response but a bright smile. As soon as they were seated, the rest of the team, Oddball, Lars, Claude, The Geek, and the Navy Corpsman, John Carney, were led in and seated around them,




The Councilor, who had yet to identify himself, waved a hand at Arianna. “Leader Ariannacomma will answer your first question.”


“Why are you hiding underground like hermits?” Dorbec interrupted. “With your technologycomma you could assist your fellow human beings on the surface. We could use a hell of a lot of assistance.”




“So, if I’m hearing you correctly, you can’t kill anymore, but you can evidently let others kill for you?” Dorbec sat back in his seat scowling? with an angry look.

“You’re really no better than the Nazis,” Chester injected. “You think you’re the master race and a step above the rest of the people of the world.”







One of the men who had accompanied Cencio and Khan into the room stood and bowed to the Counsel. He was a short rotund man, but the weight appeared to be more muscle than fat. He wore an expensive business suit; a custom tailored Giorgio Armani to be exact. “We need you to complete a mission for us. You and your team will be accompanied on the mission by Brother Contadino, Bishop Khan, Commander Ariana, and a few other select personnel.”



“To make a long story short, your mission will be to travel back in time to assist in the assassination of Jesus, the founder of Christianity, and Muhammad ibn Abdullah, the founder of Islam.

“Holy crap!” Oddball blurted.

Whoa!

Mostly passive voice issues, helping verbs, and some commas. (I didn't reallly mark the helping verbs.) Big things revealed in this chapter.
Shalisse


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
142
142
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 51

May 10, 2012 – New Berlin Base – Antarctica



The doctor led Daria from the clinical room with a frozen smile on his face. “Would you prefer to refreshen yourself and get a change of clothing before we return to the Führer’s office?” His tone of voice indicated that it would be preferable if she did so.

“I assume they have assigned living quarters to me?”

“Your luggage and other possessions have been delivered to your new residence, Fraulein. I will advise your staff that you are coming if you prefer to make the diversion.”

My Staff, Daria mused, not at all happy with her sudden celebrity status. Show us she's not happy. “I presume this staff has been selected for their complete loyalty to my grandfather?”

“And to you,” The doctor chuckled.

The only people she knew in this strange place were Hans and Wilhelm and she preferred to see them as little as possible. She wished that Señor d’Amador had been allowed to accompany them. She had grown very fond of the friendly and somewhat loquacious Don. Daria was also tired of being surrounded by men. She enjoyed the company of Monday’s Team and his friends, and she missed him desperately, but she needed someone of her own gender to talk with. She needed to review things from a woman’s viewpoint.

“I met a woman on the air ship that brought me here, doctor. I believe her name was Marta. Is there any way she could be assigned to my staff?”

The doctor paused to reflect on her request. “She is a member of the military and her low position may not be suitable for someone of your, shall we say, stature.”

“My stature is what I make of it.” Daria’s eyebrows raised and the tone of her voice shifted. “I would like to have someone around of my own gender that I can relate to. Someone who is not a spy and who has not been briefed on what to do or what to say for every move I take. Her low position, as you emphasize, can be amended can it not?”

Daria’s room turned out to be a large complex of rooms. It was as spacious as the one she had left in the villa but not as lavish or eloquently decorated. The multitude of closets were filled with the clothing given to her at the villa and one smaller closet contained an assortment of military style uniforms ranging from formal military dress to a dozen of the camouflage uniforms in her exact size. The epaulets on the uniform shoulders contained some sort of rank but she had no idea what it stood for. There was even a row of military decorations or ribbons above the right breast pocket, decorations, which also meant nothing to her.

Her staff consisted of several elderly women in uniform, a bodyguard, whom she assumed was also assigned to prevent her from escaping, and a lady in waiting to see to her dress and schedule. There were also maids and other people flittering around.

Daria took advantage of her position and called for a hot bath and cool glass of beer. While she enjoyed a good glass of wine or snifter of spirits, she was thirsty and beer had always quenched her thirst better than anything else had.

Her thoughtsbegan to drifted as the hot soapy water caressed and soothed her body. “I’ve contributed nothing towards escaping my dilemma,” she thought. “I’ve been manhandled, pushed around, forced to go places I didn’t want to go to, separated from the man I love, and I’ve done nothing.” The water was makingmade her drowsy. She had always been a self-sufficient person. She didn’t like to be pushed around and told what to do.

A sudden thought entered her mind causing her to set straight up in the tub. “My half brother is Dorbec?” How fate had arranged such a liaison she could not conceive. “No wonder I was drawn to him. Does he know? Don’t be absurd. If he knew he would have said something, wouldn’t he?” Having been jolted from her drowsiness she climbed from the tub. “I’ll slap him as hard as I can the next time I see his goofy face. How dare he kidnap his sister, half sister!”

She wrapped a huge towel around herself and headed for her dressing room. As soon as she exited the bath areacomma she ran into Marta.

“My God girl, you scared me!” Daria spat at the smiling woman. Marta was still in uniform and still wearing her disarming smile. “German efficiency is wonderful but I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“You asked for me, FuhrerEnkelin…Frauline Wolff?”

“Daria. Remember, it’s Daria, none of this leader’s daughter stuff.”

“My commander ordered me to attend to you immediately, Daria.”

The woman’sinfectious grin was infectuous somade Daria smiled back. “I simply wanted someone around that was not male. Would you accept a promotion to friend? Especially since I seem to have a shortage of female friends lately.”

Marta came to attention. Noting the disapproving look on Daria’s face, she quickly relaxed. “I am honored to be thought of as a friend. I was not expecting such a great honor. I don’t know what to say.”

“How about yes, for starters. And, do you have to wear that… that uniform?”

“It is required.”

“Do I out rank your commander?”

“Very much so. You outrank all military personnel, Daria,” Marta replied with a quizzical expression.

“I better not push it,” Daria thought. “I might get the woman in trouble.” “Will you help me pick out something to wear?” She pointed in the direction in which she thought the clothes closet lay.

Several hours later, after trying on dozens of dresses and outfits and chatting uncontrollably with Marta, Daria was finally satisfied with the way she looked. Her mood had brightened somewhat, or at least her depressionhad faded. She was ready to confront the inevitable and undergo her interview with the man whom everyone said was her grandfather. She had also managed to unfreeze Marta’s military regimen to some degree allowing her to exercise more spontaneous feeling.

“Time to go.” Daria pointed to the large doors.

Marta suddenly froze, her radiant smile vanishing from her face.

“Come now,” Daria chuckled. “Grandpa can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not that,” Marta shrugged. “I have never met the Fuhrer in person. He’s more like a figurehead instead of a real live person. Perhaps I should wait for you.”

“Nonsense.” Daria grabbed her arm and marched to the door and pulled it open. “Take me to your leader,” she demanded. The bodyguard glanced at her as if she was loco.

Instead of taking her to the huge chamber she had seen before, the bodyguard dropped her off in a small office where an officer sat at a neat and functional desk. Two soldiers stood sentry duty at a large double door. They were fully armed and had a, no nonsense, look about them.

The officer picked up a telephone and said something too low to hear, then stood. “The General will be with you shortly Fraulein. Would you care to sit?” He pointed at several chairs and one plush couch against the far wall.

“We can come back if it is an inconvenient time?” Daria smiled at the officer. He was young, handsome and kept glancing at Marta. Daria wasn’t sure if he was flirting or if he disapproved of her presence.”

The officer suddenly snapped to attention.

“You look ravishing,” Hans said as he entered the room. “That outfit suits you well.” *Paragraph*Marta joined the officer and jolted to frozen attention. He was wearing a dress uniform, solid black with a large amount of silver piping. The tailored uniform fit him like a glove and displayed his sleek, powerful physique. Daria noticed he was also wearing the dreaded SS markings on his collar.

“I see you’re playing soldier,” Daria couldn’t help but jib. “I guess I’m not allowed to see the big man without a personal escort?”

“Your grandfather asked me to watch after your safety. I am just obeying orders, like the young Lieutenant at your side.”

“Lieutenant?” Daria parroted. “Did you hear that Marta? It appears as if you have been promoted.” Daria knew the only reason for the promotion was to make her more suitable for, ‘someone of her stature’ as the Doctor had insinuated.

Hans offered his hand and nodded for the sentries to open the massive doors. He had already advised the Fuhrer by phone of Daria’s presence. The room was very large, at least a hundred feet wide and even more in depth. A single massive desk occupied the far wall surrounded by tables full of maps, cups, and objects. Banners were aligned along the right wall depicting either military unit colors or heraldry. The man who looked like Adolph Hitler stood from behind the desk and bid them approach.

Daria turned to see that Marta had remained in the outer office with the young officer. The girl was obviously terrified at being thrown into a situation not of her choosing. “You aren’t too collected either girl,” Daria thought to herself, noticing her free hand was shaking, not from fear but from fear of what she might say.

Hans stopped a good twenty feet from the desk, came to stiff attention, and saluted. “Heil Hitler,” he said, rendering the straight-arm salute, a salute that, ironically, had its origins in Rome, New York, not Nazi Germany or Ancient Rome.

Hitler came out from behind his desk and waved at Hans as if the salute was a silly inconvenience. He then rushed over to Daria and threw his arms wide. “Welcome child!” he grinned, his eyes shining with humor, his face radiant with warmth.

The reception was totally not what Daria had been expecting. Coldness, distance, shrewdness, was among her expectations, not this jovial, happy, cheerful man. His affection appeared genuine, not at all rehearsed or forced.

“Good afternoon, Herr Hitler.” Daria spoke barely above a whisper.

“Herr Hitler! Herr Hitler! Is that any way for a granddaughter to greet her Großvater?” The man acted like he was genuinely hurt. “Please call me anything but that, Liebling!”

Daria was at a sudden loss. Grandfather, she knew would be appropriate under the circumstances, but she simply could not bring herself to say the words.

“Dolf!” he smiled. “Call me Dolf. I never liked Adolph so my friends and family always call me Dolf. Please join me on the setee, Liebling.” He signaled for a valet standing by the door to bring tea.

They talked for over an hour. The man was not the Hitler that history rememberedHe was but kind, considerate, cheerful and full of laughter. He reminded Daria of Henri, always joking, smiling and throwing in bits and pieces of dry humor. She found herself genuinely liking the man. His character was warm, refreshing and she felt completely at ease with him. He also had a mesmerizing way with words and would constantly surprise her with his disapproval of the old National Socialist Party. Evil, misguided, arrogant people were some of the words and phrases he used. Daria found herself wanting to learn more about this kind, gentle, man who was supposedly her grandfather.

A senior officer, who strode briskly up to them and saluted, interrupted them. “We have several intruders, my Fuhrer.” He glanced at Hans as he spoke the words. “The men we sent Colonel Nachbauer to capture.”

“Bring them in,” Hitler replied, waving the officer away.

“Perhaps I should take Fraulein Wolff to her quarters first.” Hans hastily glanced at the back of the retreating officer.

“She is my granddaughter, I hide nothing from her.” Hitler cast a curious glance at Hans.

Daria stood and watched as nine men walked slowly into the room. One of them wore the camouflaged Nazi uniform, the following seven after him were; Monday, Scout, Weps, Bones, Dom and a man she did not know. A grinning Helmut Mueller brought up the rear of the line. Monday and Bones were supporting Scout as if he had been wounded or hurt.

Monday’s eyes widened as he recognized Daria standing next to a man who looked identical to, Adolph Hitler.

Interesting chapter. It is a needed respite from the tension, but not so much that you will lose the reader. There were many was in this chapter. I didn't mark them all, but you may want to take a look at them when you're revising.

Cheers,
Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
143
143
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nicely done! I like the repetition of the theme. Of course, the history part is pretty cool too! Am I to understand that you're a Vietnam Vet? The first time I saw my father cry was when we visited the wall in D.C. and he found the name of his friends from high school.

Thanks,
Ms J

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
144
144
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 50

May 10, 2012 – Near Isla Wikham in the Tierra del Fuego - Chile



“Old fish eyes,” Chester whispered, as Cencio walked towards them. “He looks more like a dead mackerel every time I see him.” *Paragraph*He returned his gaze to the man Cencio called, Bishop Khan. He did not look like a Bishop, walk like a Bishop, or talk like a Bishop. He had no clerical visage at all about him. Chester knew the man was military or exmilitary. The uniform he and his men wore resembled the camouflage uniforms worn by the British SAS.

“You don’t look happy to see me?” Cencio remarked, glaring glared at Chester then glancing glanced towards Dorbec. “Had I been ten seconds late, you all would be nothing but memories now. Bishop Khan here has a tendency to follow his orders to the letter.”

“A promotion,” Dorbec smiled. “The last time I saw Ali Baba here, he was a sergeant in the South African Army. Senior Sergeant, Arash Khan, I believe his moniker was at the time.”

“Ali Baba was Arabic. Arash is Iranian,” Cencio smirked. “He is Aryan and the descendent of the great hero, Loft Ali Khan.”

“Heard it all before,” Dorbec sounded disinterested in any further conversation gave an exaggerated yawn?. *Paragraph*Bishop Khan was completely unpreturbed by Dorbec’s remarks. No paragraph break here.

“You will proceed down to the shore line in a single file.” Cencio pointed in the direction of the lake where one of the few flat areas could be seen. “Any attempts to escape and I will simply have to tell His Imminence that we suffered casualties in the skirmish.”

Ten minutes later they were lined up on a flat rocky beach no more than sixty feet wide, where Khan ordered several men to secure their hands behind their backs with plastic electrical ties. As soon as this was accomplished he pulled a hand held radio from his pocket and said something into the mike.

“You were close.” Cencio strode up to Chester. “Wrong Isla. We’re located at Isla Riesco a bit north of here. There are some very nice restaurants in a little town named Punta Arenas near by.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Chester glared. “I don’t like little turds like you and you know it.”

“I figured you were intelligent enough to read between the lines. By divulging our location, surely you’ve got to realize that escape is impossible.”

“You Nazi’s are all alike, you think your s*** don’t stink.”

“Nazi’s! You think we’re Nazi’s?” Cencio’s eyes suddenly squinted in anger. “The Nazi’s are degenerative monsters! We represent the future of mankind, a peaceful, benevolent society, free from war, hunger, and hatred.”

“So, you’re the other lollypop kids!” Since it is a specific, you may need to Lollypop Kids? Chester grinned. “The puppets that the Vatican pulls around?”

“The Church has nothing to do with The Brotherhood,” Cencio blurted. “The Babylonian Brotherhood was in existence long before The Church and it will still be active long after The Church has been destroyed.”

“Oh Brother, Where Art Thou!” A pretty good flick Chester laughed. “What should I call you, Brother, or de other Brother?”

Cencio turned and walked off in anger. He had a problem controlling his temper and did not want it to interfere with this mission. His Imminence wanted these men alive, but he would be just as happy to butcher them on the spot.

A sudden noise could be heard coming gurgled? from the lake. The water in a large circular area started to foam and rise up like a gigantic air bubble. A tremendous craft broke free from the water and slowly headed in their direction. It was easily fifty yards in diameter with the thickness of a three-story building.comma The disc was slowly spinningspun like a plate on a stick and a strange humming noise permeated the air. A few moments later it hovered above the small strip of land they were standing on and a ramp slid down to within inches of the rocky ground. Another larger ramp slid down on the lakeside and hovered at the water’s edge.

Chester and his men gawked at the air ship with their mouths open. They watched as the three enemy zodiacs were loaded into the ship one at a time and then their own smaller zodiac followed. It was loaded down with their weapons and equipment.

“Into the ship!” Bishop Khan demanded, pointing at the smaller ramp.*Paragraph* They turned and followed a uniformed soldier up the short walkway and into the body of the huge air ship. As soon as they cleared the opening, they turned to the right and followed a small corridor. On each side of the corridor were rooms with the doors closed. Several hundred feet later, they were halted and four team members and Carney were ordered Who did the ordering? Passive voice to enter a small utilitarian room. Chester nodded for them to do so.

Chester and Dorbec were taken passive voice further down the corridor and ordered into a different room, one with three chairs and a small table. The soldiers closed the door without saying a word.

“I thought it was the new Nazi’s who had the flying saucers!” Dorbec stated, as they made themselves comfortable in the soft chairs.

Chester put his hands behind his ears and looked around the room. He was telling Dorbec that others could be listening to their conversation, so to be careful of what he said. “Looks like everyone has them but us,” he finally replied. “Even at that, I’m not too sure. The government isn’t particularly forthcoming with their secret projects.”

“I know what you mean, Mon ami.”

The door opening interrupted them. In walked a strikingly beautiful young woman carrying a tray with several beverages on it. She placed the tray on the small table, took a glass and poured herself a drink from a bottle of chilled wine. “Excellent French wine,” she remarked, her dazzling white smile lighting up the room. “There is a large carafe of good German Monastery beer for you also, Chester, as how you prefer a ‘cold one’ over wine.”

They looked at her with puzzled expressions. She was tall, slim, with perfect proportions. Her lips were a soft pink, her eyes were wide and a light violet color, her skin was velvety smooth and a dark shade of tan, and her hair was cropped short in an Audrey Hepburn style cut. She actually resembled a young Audrey Hepburn and appeared to be in her mid twenties. She was dressed in a casual skirt with a white blouse and comfortable shoes without heels.

Dorbec finally broke from his stupor and reached for the wine. “If all my jailers look like you, I am very happy to be your prisoner.” His eyes followed her generous smile.

“Je ne suis pas votre geôlier,” Hey! Understood that BEFORE you had the translation. The French lessons are paying off! *Smile* the woman replied. “I am not your jailer,” she continued in English for Chester’s benefit. “I am the commander of this ship. Actually, I am the commander of this entire sector.”

“Sector?” Chester reached for the large carafe of beer and poured himself a foaming glass.

“My sector covers all of South America, Africa and Australia. The composition of our organisation will be given to you during your briefing after we arrive at Alpha Base. I feel it my duty to welcome you aboard my ship and to make your trip as comfortable as possible. I assure you that your men are safe and also comma do or please- enjoying refreshments.”

“Who are you people?” Chester bluntly questioned. “We’ve met the fish eyed Brother and Ghengis Khan and heard of His Imminence, but, who are you?”

“They are who they claim to be,” she replied with a smile. “You may call me Ariana. Brother Cencio is a field operative for The Brotherhood and Bishop Khan is of the warrior sect. They both report to the Cardinal, the man they refer too ascomma His Imminence. I do not belong to their Brotherhood because I am not one of them.”

“Not one of them?” Dorbec raised his eyebrow.

“Not one of you or them,” she smiled and took a sip of her wine. “My name, Ariana, comes from what my people call themselves, The Arianni. We have lived on this planet for two hundred thousand years.

Chester almost dropped his glass and Dorbec had tears in his eyes from fighting down a sip of wine that tried to crawl into his lungs. Ooo! I like that description.

“Two hundred thousand years!” Chester blurted. “Are you bonkers or just an escapee from the funny farm?”

“Your reaction is expected,” Ariana chuckled. “I think I would be quite shocked and would resort to denial were I in your position.”

“How is this possible, mon chéri?” I noticed that the Mon ami was capitalized, but here the mon is not. I don't know the grammar on this. Dorbec asked. “Wouldn’t you be ruling the entire world if such was the case?”

“It is a very long story, one which you will soon learn. We did inhabit the surface many thousands of years ago, but incredible technology combined with evil leaders and gullible people destroyed our civilization. We are the remnants of a once powerful world-wide race. We are now content to live in solitude away from the barbarian hordes of the surface world. Do not misinterpret my meaning. We have no animosity against any nation on the surface, we simply prefer to live by our own peaceful laws and in our society which has finally matured and outlawed war, disease, hatred, and suffering.” Several sentences starting with we. You may want to consider revising.

“Why have we never heard of your people?”

“You have in a way,” Ariana replied. “In 1947 one of your American Navy Admirals made contact with us. His name was Byrdcomma I believe. He talked with one of our leaders and then returned to the surface. I believe he got the message all wrong though and also the location of our Alpha Base.”

“I’ve heard of Admiral Byrd’s secret diary,” Chester muttered. “He allegedly went insane and made up the entire thing, I think.”

“Which brings back the question, why were we abducted?” Dorbec demanded.

“Unfortunately, our supreme leaders have made a pact with The Brotherhood,” Ariana shook her head. “Many of us disagree, but if their goal succeeds, then there will finally be universal peace on the surface.”

“What goal is that?” Chester asked.

Ariana took another sip of wine and sat her glass down gently on the table. “I am not part of that program and thereforecomma I have not been briefed on it. It is my understanding that one of you is needed in order to expedite the program, however, I am not aware of which one of you that may be.”

“Well sweetheart, suppose we refuse to cooperate?”

“You will cooperate.”

Ariana stood and looked down at them. “I know your character. You are both honorable men. You do not have evil in your hearts or minds and you both possess a trait that will make you cooperate.”

She walked to the door, which opened, as she neared. She turned as she left and said one word.

“Loyalty.”

Even though you've gone into science fiction, you've done it in a way that is believable. Yet another good chapter.

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
145
145
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 49

May 10, 2012 – Near the Mühlig-Hoffmann Mountain Range - Antarctica



Monday checked his gear for the umpteenth time since they left McMurdo Station. The loss of one single item could mean the difference between life and death in the conditions they were about to undertake. He chose a flat area approximately a kilometer from the coordinates he had. The LC-130 Hercules was rigged passive voice with retractable ski-wheels and could land anyhwere on the continent.

Antarctica is not a mere ice-covered surface, but a real continent, with plains, valleys, and mountain peaks up to 15,000 feet. The temperature in the interior is around zero in the summer, and never drops below 20 or 30 degrees below in the winter. In other words, it is not as cold as in parts of North Dakota or Canada.(especially underground, where the natural temperature would be in the 50's, even below snow and ice, and with geothermal activity, possibly warmer.) switched to present tense






“Especially with ‘The Thing’ running around.” Lofton returned, humming hummed the tune to The Twyilight Zone, referring to an old B-movie from the 50’s and an imaginative television series.

As soon as they were unloaded, Monday signaled to the pilots that they were cleared to take off. The pilot waved back and revved up the props. Within minutes comma the running lights of the LC-130 was disappeared? faded? out of sight. Monday turned and surveyed his small Team. He felt lost without Chester and the others, as if half his ability had been taken with them. He hoped they had not run into anything that he and Dorbec could not handle.




Monday signaled for them to spread out and look for possible underground openings. The report indicated that there were several bunkers, bunker one being the one he was searching for. It was from this bunker that the alleged British second expedition entered the underground tunnels. They found it within a few minutes. Snow had drifted into the door and covered the floor by several inches but they still had easy access. The second expedition had reported that two bodies were found in the bunker, one of their own who had been recently killed by one of the ‘Polar Men’ and the remains of one sole survivor from the first expedition, which had been stripped to the bone.

They found nothing in the small bunker except a weather worn military issue desk, some disgarded food containers, and bits and pieces of trash. They noticed that one wall of the bunker had been caved in as if it had at one time led to an opening of some kind.

He directed Weps to place several M112 block demolition charges of 1.25 pounds of Composition C4 in position to blast open the rubble. Weps pulled the olive-drab Mylar film off several blocks and worked the putty like substance into a cone shape. The cone shape would allow for maximum penetration and expansion. He then Then her? crimped a two-minute fuse into a blasting cap and stuck it into the cone. They had decided not to use electrical detonators but plain fire lit fuse for convenience sake.



The powerful blast shook the ground for thirty yards around. The entire top of the small bunker had been blownblew off revealing a gaping wound in the snow. As they walked back to the bunker, Monday notice that the tunnel opening had been completely cleared leaving a wide path descending down into the dark depths. It was not a man made tunnel but seemingly of natural origin.



They followed the tunnel for miles before they came to the first obstruction. An explosion had collapsed the tunnel, obviously by the second British expedition during their hasty retreat. Monday ordered Weps to perform his magic and after several small explosions a small opening to the other side was made. passive voice

After the team successfully made it through the bottleneck comma Monday halted. This new part of the tunnel smelled different than the one they had been in. Previously he had noticed very little smell, mostly dry stale air, now there was a rich moisture laden the scent? smell to their surroundings. A few feet down the tunnel they found half a dozen skeletons, mostly intact, with rotting rags hanging from parts of the bones.



“Taken out by that last British blast,” Monday mused. “I doubt any of their distant cousins are still around, but everyone keep a sharp eye.”*Paragraph* The further they progressed down the tunnel the more skeletal bodies they found. commaA few of them were dressed in torn British uniforms but the majority had only pitiful remnants of rags left.



After several more miles and two more caved in sections to clear, they entered a massive underground cavern. The cavern was warmer than the tunnel and an overpowering smell of fresh plant life permeated the air. Descending into the caverncomma they found several small lakes and upon testing the water found it clear and cool. Monday signaled for a lunch break and strolled over to talk with Dom. He knew his friend was still upset over the recent events that had placed him on the wrong side of the coin.

“What do you make of these ragged bones? Monday asked, opening a pack of MRE’s.

Dom was opening opened a container of his own pesonally bought food. MRE’s, or Meals Ready to Eat were not part of his gastronomical répertoire.



“Their value is obvious.” Dom reached for a flask of wine. “If the power hidden inside those jewels can somehow be tapped, who knows what can be produced? Do you honestly believe we will find the de scendants of Nazi Germany somewhere in these caverns?”




“Found something?” Lofton yelled. He was meanderingmeandered around after his meal several hundred feet from where the others sat.*Paragraph* Suddenly alert, Monday jumped to his feet and signaled for the others to fan out. No paragraph break here.



“Would you look at that?” Lofton pointed his light into a sunken hollow full of dark icy water. Next to a small cement dock was anchored a Nazi U-boat. Although some rust had sat in somewhat rusted, for the most part it looked as if it could have docked that same day. “Reckon you were right about the Nazi’s being here.”



“It has!” a loud voice cut in. *Paragraph*At the same time massive lights came on throwing the large cavern into eye squinching light. Blinded by the light and startled by the loud voice, all they could do was drop to the ground and seek concealment.



They watched as scores of men dressed in unusual camouflage uniforms stood up around them. Eachwas carrying carried a futuristic looking weapon but Monday had no doubt that they would be effective and deadly. Their numbers continued to grow until well over a hundred soldiers surrounded them.



They were shocked to see Helmut Mueller stand up on the conning tower of the Nazi U-boat. Did they know him from before? I can't remember. If not, I don't know that they would be shocked that it was him.





“One at a time,” Mueller grinned. “One at a time.”
Man! Mueller is creepy! You're doing a wonderful job of keeping up the tension!

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

146
146
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 48

May 9, 2012 – New Berlin Base – Antarctica



Hans offered his arm to Daria in a gentlemanly fashion, his eyebrows raised and a disarming smile covered his handsome face. “It’s time to introduce you to our leader.”

He escorted her from the small craft into what appeared to be a docking bay. It was a vast area, obviously underground or at least undercover. Several small flying craft, or Fliegenkämpfer, as Hans had called them, were parked side by side on the cement tarmac. Technicians were swarmingswarmed around them and unusual ground vehicles were buzzing buzzedback and forth like plump beetles. The people she saw wore the same type of uniform as Hans, with the exception of several donned in a uniform cut similar to Marta’s.

They entered a door leading off the busy tarmac and headed down a well-lit hallway. Attractive signs of happy working people were tastefully arranged along the corridor and the flooring was covered in a noise dampening material so their footsteps did not produce harsh sounds.

They passed through several more doors and were suddenly surrounded by scores of people, all in uniform, heading in various directions. incomplete sentence- needs some revision Daria noticed that all of them were taller than average, most had blond or light brown hair and blue eyes, and all were smiling and nodding as she and Hans strode down a massive corridor. Further on down the corridor and walkways, women and children began to appear. They also wore uniforms, of varying patterns and colors, but all displayed what appeared to be genuine smiles on their faces. Everyone seemed happy and some even bowed or curtsied to her as she passed.

They finally entered through an official looking door with two military sentries stationed as guards. They wore black uniforms, shining boots that came almost up to their knees, immaculate web gear, and helmets that resembled the modern American kevlar helmet but with a distinctive difference. They resembled a modern version of the old Nazi SS. Each carried a futuristic assault rifle on a sling hung over their shoulders. They came to rigid attention and saluted as Hans and Daria approached.

As they entered a large chamber, dozens of soldiers in various uniforms stood and bowed. Hans patted her hand reassuringly and continued to walk to the end of the huge room where several men stood with their backs turned away looking down at huge conference table.

As soon as the men noticed their approach, each straightened up from their crouching position and bowed, all except one man who continued to gaze down at the table. Hans halted about ten feet from the lone man, removed his hand from Daria’s, and came to the position of attention. “I present Fraulein Wolff, mein Führer!” he said in a commanding voice.

As soon as the man turned around, Hans saluted him with the old Nazi salute. Daria took one glance at the figure and fainted.

She awoke in a white room that appeared to be a sterile medical environment. An elderly man wearing a white lab coat was bending over her. Apparently, he was a doctor and his kind face and eyes exuded empathy and friendliness. He smiled as she sat up on the bed or whatever it was they had placed her on.

“Sleeping Beauty awakes,” he said with a jovial and spacious grin. “How do you feel fraulein?”

Daria was still shaken from the mind numbing experience. She wasn’t certain if it was fact or a nightmare. She looked emploringly at the kindly physician.

“What you have seen is fact.” The physician answered her puzzled look and handed her a cool glass of water.

“Adolph Hitler?” she blurted.

The man reached for her hand but she quickly pulled it away. “Yes. The person you saw is Adolph Hitler.”

Daria shook her head in disbelief. “Hitler would be one hundred thirteen years old if he was alive. The man I saw looked exactly like the Adolph Hitler of 1945, a fifty six year old man.” She took a drink of the cool water and waited for the doctor to explain the mystery.

“By now, if not suspicious, you are aware that certain leaders, scientists, and other highly placed party members escaped after World War II. Your grandparents were among them. What is not commonly known is that thousands of patriotic Germans also escaped and joined us here to carve out a new homeland and government. It is also a well known fact that German scientists were far in advance of the Allies on many scientific fronts, not just military technology.”

He halted to get Daria another glass of water. “Your grandfather, Adolph Hitler, was not a well man. The stress of invasion had, shall we say, affected his thinking.”

“He was nuts,” Daria interrupted. “Crazy as a bed bug and a mass murderer.”

“Be that as it may, he continued to function as our leader. In 1957, two years before his death, our scientist successfully cloned him. As I noted, we were far ahead of the rest of the world in scientific technology, which correspondingly included medical breakthroughs. The man you met today is Adolph Hitler in every conceivable way, except, he is not the original.”

“A clone?” Daria could not grasp the thought that anyone would dare clone one of history’s most notorious criminals. “That still doesn’t change the fact that Frankenstein out there is still a mad man, a criminal, a…” She couldn’t think of an appropriate word to use.

“I beg to differ, fraulein. When we cloned the Führer we knew of his medical propensity for mental instability. Consequently, we eleminated that particular genetic trait from the new Führer, and his successor. He is as sane and as functional as you and I.”

Daria still could not aline align the facts in her mind. “Successor. What do you mean, successor?”

“The one year old successor to the Führer was successfully cloned and is being groomed to take his place when the inevitable happens.”

“You mean you have another one of those monsters primed and ready to go?”

The doctor dropped his smile and put on a disproving frown. “Neither or are? monsters and neither or murderers or criminals. The succesor to your grandfather is a kind, benevolent, considerate and incredible leader. He has the best interest of the German people on his mind and in his heart at all times. He was groomed from birth to know everything Adolph Hitler knew, his life, his dreams, his failures, and even his mistakes. We could not transfer the memories of your grandfather, and we were content that it did not happen. He does not possess the degenerative mental illness that twisted your grandfathers thinking.”

History had taught Daria a different lesson, an ugly lesson steeped in Nazi atrocities, the hola ocaust, millions of innocent lives, and barbarism. She wasn’t prepared to throw those memories away and embrase embrace? a new Nazi concept of benevolence.

“What of my grandmother and my mother?” She asked, afraid to hear the doctor say that both their clones were doing well and prancing around this hidden base.

“I would prefer that your grandfather talk of these subjects,” The doctor smiled again. “But I have been asked to allay your fears. Your grandmother, Eva, died one year after your grandfather, in 1960. Your beautiful mother died giving birth to you. Eva’s wish was for you to be raised in the Fatherland so you were sent to live with your grand aunt’s, Frau Wolff’s family. Neither of them wanted to be cloned due to their religious beliefs.”

There was still something missing, one little detail that she needed to clear up. “Did I have a father?”

The doctor glanced down at the floor then back at Daria. “No man was good enough for your mother, Klara. Your grandfather believed she was the perfect Aryan woman. A dozen of the most perfect Aryan male specimens to accompany the Führer to New Berlin were selected based on family history and an extensive battery of tests. None of them were good enough. Several years later, Aeric Eichel Dietrich, a highly decorated Fallschirmjager, paratrooper, made his way to your grandfather’s villa. He was captured by the Russians and taken to Buchenwald Concentration Camp. He was one of the few to ever escape. Yourgrandfather? father became enchanted with him. He finally won the hand of your mother, even though he was much older by then. The only error he ever committed was that he had a son while on a mission to France. He was unfortunately lost at sea just before you were born.”

“So, I’m the product of a Nazi stormtrooper,” Daria smirked. “The perfect Aryan baby. And, I have a half brother somewhere?”

“You are a beautiful, intelligent, and free spirited young lady. You are also the only immediate member of the Hitler family left. There are distant relatives living in Germany and in the United States, but we do not concern ourselves with them. You also have an obligation to fulfill and an important role in New Berlin society.”

“I did not ask for it, nor do I want to play a role in your society.”

“Unfortunately fraulein, the choice is not yours to make. The people of New Germany adore your grandfather and consequently his family. In their eyes you are a national icon, a member of the royal family and the key to their future prosperity. The key to their very existence.”

“Royalty? I thought Germans gave up that antiquated concept long ago?

“The old Germany did. However, we discovered that we need a royal figurehead to maintain morale, to give us a sense of direction, to display our pride, to lead us.”

“I assume, like the royalty of old, I must bow to the dictates of the supreme poo-bah!”

“You will find that we are a very modern society with high moral and ethical values. Our sole interest is survival.”

Daria stood and looked around her at the clinical atmosphere. The room looked no different than other hospital clinics she had visited. She had no interest in belonging to a society she did not even know existed. She also knew that unless she pretended to cooperate and gain a degree of personal freedom, her chances of escaping this royal prison were nill. She knew that Monday was searching for her and her heart told her that he would succeed. But, he did not know the terrible odds he faced.

“Do you know anything about my half brother?” Daria finally asked.

“He is an insignificant Frenchman who goes by the name of Jean Marcel Dorbec.”

Daria’s jaw dropped.

Love that twist! Great job! BTW, that book is called Crafty Screenwriting by Alex Epstein. It contains a lot of information that I found very useful. There is some good advice in it about writing and the business. Your son might enjoy it.

Have a great day,
Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

147
147
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 47

May 10, 2012 – Near Isla Wikham in the Tierra del Fuego - Chile



“Will you tell the man to slow down?” The rapid Spanish being thrown at him exasperated Chester. “Just the facts, not how hot or cold his wife is or how big a fish he caught.”

“The man and his brother say they see a round flying object go into this lake many times,” replied the Chilean soldier. “It goes in and many days later, it come back out.”

“Ask him how big it was, what color, any noise, anything else he can tell us about it.”

The soldier spoke again with the fisherman, who returned with another round of rapid Spanish. He jesticulated with his arms, his eyes shining, and he had white spittal at one corner of his mouth. His brother and half a dozen other fishermen standing at his side were pumping their heads up and down in agreement. Great visuals in this first paragraphs

“He say the thing was half the size of football field,” the soldier translated. “He could no see color because it kept changing, but there was a whining sound not easy to hear. His friends and family they agree with him.”

“Why didn’t they report it to the police, especially if it has happened so often?”

“I asked him before Colonel. He say they many times report it but the policia think they loco. They say he drink too much and see things that not there.”

Typical bureaucraticeresponse, Chester thought.

“According to our information this man, in fact, most of them are illiterate,” Dorbec added. “Nor do they have telvision. It’s not as if they watch or read about UFO’s or flying saucers on a daily basis. I think they are sincere in what they have seen.”

“That’s what we’re here to find out?” Chester turned and headed for the Zodiak. It was comma a Combat Rubber Raiding/Reconnaissance Craft, CRRC, borrowed from the Marine Force Recon unit attached to the Carrier. {e:paragra[hThe CRRC was equipped with a 55 horsepower two-stroke engine with a pumpjet propulsor and could carry six fully equipped commandos in addition to the coxswain and assistant coxswain who sat in the stern and guided the boat. The Coxswain is was? usually the commander of the Team, but in this case they borrowed a Medic from the navy who was trained on the craft. The Navy and Marine Corps called them Corpsmen instead of Medics.

Chester gave the signal to load up and head out into the lake. The depth of the water dropped immediately. It was also ice cold from constant glacial runoff. For over an hour they ran parallel to the lakeshore looking for any unusual signs. Chester finally ordered them to turn around and move to the center of the area from which the fishermen had allegedly seen the object enter the water.

“You sure you Army pukes know how to use that diving gear?” The Navy Corpsman was curious as to why he had been shanghied to join Army Special Forces.

“Le Légion étrangère.” Dorbec smiled, playing with the Corpsman’s mind. “I am French Foreign Legion, not American Special Forces. I have used this equipment on many occasions even under combat conditons.”

The Corpsman gave Dorbec a dubious grin and spat a large wad of tobacco juice into the water. “That doesn’t make these other men qualified.”

“We wouldn’t be here doing this if we didn’t know what we were doing…Corpsman,...” Chester stated, seeking the man’s name.

“Carney sir, John Carney. Petty Officer First, and I’ll take your word for it.”

“We have a Carney on our Special Ops Team,” Chester returned. “Kenny Carney, our Scout. Any possible relation?”

The Corpsman grinned back. “Hell. We have an entire county of Carneys in Ireland. Course most of them ain’t related. I guess somewhere along the line one of his ancestors laid one of mine, or vice-versa.”

“You’ll do,” Chester smiled and spat into his facemask. new paragraph He and Dorbec had opted to take the first run into the frigid water. no paragraph break here

Not only was the water cold as ice it was also crystal clear. Chester could see for a long distance into the darkening depths. He and Dorbec allowed themselves a maximum depth of two hundred feet and no longer than half an hour submerged then Lars and Claude would take a turn. It would not take long for hypothermia to set in even with their wetsuits protecting them.

Almost at the limit of their depth, they had to swim out to avoid a large overhanging shelf of rock. As they passed the end of the overhang it curled back in on itself and a gigantic opening spiraled down at an angle into the depths of the mountain. The opening resembled the mouth of a watery volcano. They could see nothing but darkness as the tunnel faded out of sight. Chester signaled for Dorbec to head for the surface. It would be impossible to explore the depths of the huge opening with the light gear they had with them.

They broke the surface at the same time.

“One thing for sure,” Chester coughed water from his nose. “That opening is big enough to swallow a sub and there’s no way we can explore it without one.”

Dorbec agreed and raised his arm to signal for the Zodiac to pick them up. “It may simply be a natural cavern left by volcanic activity,” he stated. “It’s large enough for a very big craft to enter though.”

Back on board the Zodiac, Oddball was waving his hands back and forth and pointing out into the lake. From their low vantagepoint in the water Chester and Dorbec could see very little in the distance. As soon as the Zodiac pulled up next to them Oddball yelled. “We’ve got company coming!” Lars and Claude helped them into the boat.

“Three boats.” Chester handed the binoculars to Dorbec. “Chilean military?” he mused.

“Anything on the radio?” Dorbec turned to The Geek.

“Nothing.”

Chester’s sixth sense told him that things weren’t quite right. The Chilean military had been very cooperative and the lack of communication portended unusual activity. “Get us back to shore,” he addressed Carney.

As soon as the Zodiac powered up and headed for shore, a hail of waterspouts sprang up around the boat, followed in the distance by the echoing noise of automatic weapons fire. Chester was pleased to see that no one returned fire, it would be a waste of ammunition considering the distances between them and the approaching boats.

Carney threw the Zodiac into a zig-zag course at top speed towards a small rocky channel. Waterspouts were still eruptinged around the boat as they turned sharply into the channel. They could see rock chips flying off the granite walls and quickly made for a hasty landing spot hidden behind the small peninsula.

As soon as the Zodiac hit the small muddy beach comma they grabbed their weapons and gear and raced for cover amid the jagged bolders and crevaces. Chester pointed to a spot at a higher elevation, which would afford them a view of the enemy craft approaching on the other side of the peninsula.

As soon as they reached the heights comma they could see the three boats had fanned out and two were making a beeline for shore. Their intent was to flank Chester’s Team on two sides while laying down a covering fire from the one remaining boat on the lake.

Chester signaled for his men to open fire on the enemy boat now within striking range. Oddball and the two legionnaires begin to pour three round bursts into the circling craft. The distance was still far enough away that their rounds had little effect on the fast moving boat.

The rocky terrain around them was rugged with plenty of cover and concealment. It was not an ideal place to fight from because the enemy also had plenty of cover and concealment. The two boats that had landed were packed with at least a dozen men each, which meant that Chester’s Team of seven was facing at least tweny-four commandos.

Chester could see happy grins on the faces of Lars and Claude. They were in their element doing what they were trained to do. Oddball had a similar smile on his scraggly face, while the Navy Corpsman was shaking his head wondering just what in hell he’d gotten himself into. The Geek calmly held a laptop and was tied into a military satellite. He was obviously trying to bring up a realtime satellite image of their location.

Suddenly, mortar rounds started falling all around them. Pieces of jagged schrapnel were hitting the rocks with davastating effect, sending hot screaming schrapnel in all directions. Instinct told them to hunker down to avoid this deadly rain of searing metal fragments but training told them that the enemy was using this barrage to work their way nearer their position.

The mortar barrage stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Their ears were ringing rangfrom concussion and most of them had small schrapnel cuts on their bodies and equipment. A bullhorn suddenly punctured the silence.

“Throw down your weapons and stand up!”

Chester glanced at Dorbec who shook his head in a determined no.

“We have flame throwers and men within range of your position,” the voice continued. “I understand that being burned alive is a terrible way to die. I will not waste the lives of my men assaulting your position. Surrender or burn.”

Chester could tell from the commanding tone of the man’s voice that he meant exactly what he said. He had no idea who the attackers were or even why they had been attacked in the first place. He would not sacrafice his Team’s lives for no reason.

“Throw your weapons down and stand up? Chester commanded. Dorbec and his men did not like the order, but obeyed. “I’ll never go out without taking some of the bastards with me,” Chester smiled at Dorbec. “I figure today’s odds of heading to hell empty handed is not worth it. Better to fight another day.”

“Move to the top of the ridge!” the voice demanded. “In single file.”

As soon as they assembled in a tight group in a small open area, the attackers stood. Two men were no more than twenty meters away holding flame-throwers. The remaining enemy was scattered in a semi circle around them. A tall, muscular and commanding man walked forward holding the bullhorn. Chester and Dorbec instantly knew that he was a Special Forces Commando, like themselves. His face radiated character and authority.

“I do not like butchering unarmed warriors,” the man stated. “But, my orders are to eliminate you. I will give you a last request before I carry out the order.”

Their defiant looks told him that no last request was needed.

“Bishop Kahn!”

A loud voice interrupted the uncomfortable silence. The commanding figure turned in the direction of the voice. The voice sounded familiar to Chester.

“A change of plans,” the voice called, heading in their direction. “Evidently one or more of them is needed. Their lives are to be spared, for the moment.”

As soon as the last word was spoken, Cencio walked into view from behind a rock outcropping.

Intense chapter. I especially liked the opening paragraphs. They were very well written! I can see this playing out nicely in movie format.

Shalisse

148
148
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Chapter 46

May 9, 2012 – The White House – Washington D.C.



“I agree comma Your Imminence,” the President whispered. “Events have gotten completely out of hand. I was hoping that Doctor Stiehl and his Team would be able to recover the jewels, but it seems as if The Principal has out manuevered him.”

“He may still lead us to the main base of The Principal,” the Cardinal mused. “If The Principal is allowed to use the power source now in his possession, our plan will be ruined. Our Alpha Cell will continue to shadow Stiehl.”

The president rubbed his tiredeyes. He was tired, irritated at Doctor Stiehl’s failure. “How much time do we have before The Principal can put his plans into operation?”

“Six months, possibly less.”

“And you are certain that the plan that we discussed is the ultimate aim of The Principal?”

The Cardinal paused in his reply. He was not accustomed to being second-guessed by anyone, especially someone he helped to place into a position of geat great power. “Their goal has not changed, but I believe we must now make alternate plans of our own. I am referring to the two items in your possession.”

The President sat up straighter in his seat when the words came over the line, his fatigue replaced by a jolt of adrenalin. The two jewels in possession of the United States would place The Brotherhood on an even par with The Principal. It was, however, the plan of last resort.

“They are more closely guarded than the bullion in Fort Knox,” The President finally replied. “Three signatures and scans are needed to remove the objects from their secure location, Mine, the Speaker of the House, and the Secretary of Defense. The Secretary is not one of us.”

“Are you implying that the leader of the free world cannot get his hands on two small items?”

“Nocomma Your Imminence.”

“Then make it so! The Secretary is expendible.”

“When must our scientists have the items?”

“Time is against us,” The Cardinal emphasized. “They must be delivered immediately. If Doctor Stiehl cannot lead us to The Principal so we can eleminate that threat, we must counter with our own solution.”

“He has failed us so far.”

“Doctor Stiehl is in love, Mr. President. A man in love can accomplish the impossible. He will find The Principal and through him, we will be in a position to strike. I think we need to send him a message though. The mercenary, Colonel Dorbec, also failed us. It is my understanding that the teams have separated. Doctor Stiehl’s best friend and Dorbec are searching in a separate area. Their demise may give Stiehl the anger he needs to move more rapidly. I will arrange it.”

The Cardinal hung up leaving the President with his own dark thoughts. A few minutes later he asked his secretary to get the Speaker of the House on his secure line.

What the president's name? What does he look like? Those were just a couple of questions I found myself wondering. This Cardinal is a bad, bad man. I hope he gets what he deserves in the end!

Happy Sunday,
Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
149
149
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Chapter 45

May 9, 2012 – La Cascada Hotel San Carlos de Bariloche – Argentina



Dom banged on the door with one of the expensive bottles of wine held tightly in his shaking fist. It took a few seconds for the face of a grinning Chester to appear. “Close the door!” Dom demanded as he rushed into the room.

Chester shut the door and watched as Dom made a beeline for the small bar where Henri was sucking down a foamy beer. As soon as he arrivedcomma he grabbed a wineglass and filled it to overflowing.

Monday could tell that something out of the ordinary was bothering his friend. Dom looked as if he had seen a ghost and he was nervous and sweating. This was not the cool, calm and collected Dom that he knew so well.

He walked over to the bar and put his hand on Dom’s shoulder. “Let it out!”

Dom looked at Monday then slowly glanced at the others. “I am a traitor,” he blurted. “A dirty, rotten, good for nothing, traitor.”

He watched their eyes as they waited for him to explain.POV switch “I’ve been working for someone else all along.” He let it out with a deep sigh. *Paragraph*For the next fifteen minutes Dom covered the details of his shadowy undercover mission for the Cardinal. He explained his reasoning and his devotion to the Cardinal and the Church. He paid particular attention to detail when explaining the role played by Cencio. On a penitent notecomma he offered to return to Italy and accept whatever fate came his way.

“I’ve known Doctor Prestano for many years.” Monday pled to the others. “I believe him when he says he was being used by the Cardinal.the Cardinal was using him? I also know that he could have returned to his villa in Italy without warning us of this new threat. But, now that he has warned us, I believe his life is in the hands of some evil organization.”

“You want us to accept his word and let him continue on with the Team?” Henri fervently shook his head as if he could not believe it.

“We allowed Dorbec to join us?” Chesterstated, standingstood firmly behind Monday.

“What’s this Alpha Cell?” Monday asked.

“I have no idea. Cencio mentioned it and that’s what made me suspicious of him. He did state earlier that there were to be no witnesses left when the jewels were recovered.”

Henri grunted. “So you were going to off all of us? Just you and this Cencio fellow?”

Dom did not respond to his question but continued on another note. “You can believe me or not, but I had already made up my mind to come clean and tell you the truth before my last discussion with Cencio. I thought the Jewel belonged to the Church and that my benefactor was only interested in returning it to its rightful place. However, when Cencio mentioned that he had orders to leave no witnesses, I could not allow that to happen.”

After a lengthy period of silencecomma Monday signaled for the attention of the other team members, Dorbec among them. “Do we have a go or a no go?” His military terminology meant keep Dom or get rid of him. A pregnant silence engulfed the group. “Looks like the Team wants to keep you around, Dom. How do you like cold weather?”

“Deo benedice,” Dom whispered with a relieved sigh. “God bless you! I have enough fat to keep me warm and enough happiness to keep the rest of you warm.”

Two hours later they were picked uppassive voice at the International Airport by a C-130 to fly them to McMurdo Research Station in Antarctica. The Super Carrier Theodore Roosevelt sent an Osprey to pick up Chester’s detached Team. After they were supplied with a Zodiac F-470 CRRC, along with weapons and equipment, Chester’s Team would be dropped offpassive voice at the end of highway Y-897 in the Tierra del Fuego, where members of the, Grupo de Fuerzas Especiales, Chilean Special Forces would rondezvous with them.

Monday’s team landed late in the day at McMurdo, but they couldn’t tell it from the sun since McMurdo had twenty-four hour darkness for four months. The last sunset in April marked the beginning of the long night, and Midwinter's day in June was a major celebration. The sun did not peak above the horizon again until late August.

McMurdo Station is Antarctica's largest community and a functional, modern day science station, which includes a harbor, three airfields and over 100 buildings. The primary focus of the work done at McMurdo Station is science, but most of the residents (approximately 1,000 in the summer and fewer than 200 in the winter) are not scientists, but station personnel who are there to provide support for operations, logistics, information technology, construction, and maintenance. In this chapter your switched from past tense to present tense.

As soon as they landed, the team was usheredpassive voice. Who ushered them? to Building 155 where there was a large cafeteria, and best of all, warm restrooms. A member of the National Security Agency, who was to meet them there, had been tasked to arrange transportation, supplies, and equipment for them and run interference with the British.

Monday was enjoying a heaping bowl of hot chili and a large side order of French fries and dill pickles when the dapper man approached.

“Doctor Stiehl?” t The man gazed at the mounds of food being consumed by the men.

Monday shook his head up and down, his mouth full. The man was short, overweight, and had a weak dapper You already used dapper. look about him that indicated easy living and an extreme lack of exercise.

“My name is Bisbie. The military has provided the equipment you called for. comma andI have a team delivering it to your visiting quarters.” He waited with an annoyed look for Monday to swallow his food. When Monday took another large bite without answeringcomma he continued in a snyde snide?tone of voice. “Unfortunately the British at Rothera Research Station have not been as cooperative. They insist that no such base as Maudheim ever existed, so your hop to Rothera has been called off.”

“Of course it never existed,” Monday grunted, shifting a bite of food in his mouth. “The base at Maudheim, near the Mühlig-Hoffmann Mountain Range in Queen Maud Land, what Germany called, Neuschwabenland, was so secret that it was never given a name or even a grid reference on official maps. Operation Taberlan never happened either.”

“Then how do you expect to find the location of the alleged tunnels that led to the secret Nazi military base?”

“I have the coordinates.” Monday did not say that connections in the British SAS had provided him with the coordinates and a thick dossier on Operation Taberlan.

“Obviously you do not need any additional help from me.” Bisbie sniffed? looked down his nose at Monday? made it a statement of fact instead of a question.

“As soon as we’ve had a few hours of sleep and gone over our operations plan, a C-130 will fly us to our destination. Your contact with the British at Rothera was to give them a heads-up on our activities. We never expected them to reply. It wouldn’t be British of them to do so. We thank you for your cooperation Mr. Bisbie.” Monday stood and dismissed the man with a firm handshake. Bisbie’s sweating hand felt like a dead fish. He waddled from side to side like an emperor pinguin as he left the cafeteria.

The Team gathered in Monday’s room at the visiting officer quarters to inspect the equipment that had been delivered passive voiceand order other items they may have forgotten to add.

“So, tell us about this Operation Taberlan?” Lofton asked. “Icomma for onecomma have never heard of it.’

Monday glanced at Henri then at Dom and finally decided to answer the question himself. “The year before Operation Highjump was conducted by the US Navy, Operation Taberlan was activated by the British as a measure of monitoring German activities on the Antarctic continent. The base at Maudheim was near the Mühlig-Hoffmann Mountain Range.The British sent an expedition into this area based on reports of Nazi activities.” He halted to take a sip of hot coffee.

“The expedition was told that an original team of scientists and commandos had found an “ancient tunnel". The force went through the tunnel but only two returned before the Antarctic winter set in. During the winter months, the two survivors made absurd claims over the radio about “ancient tunnels and Nazis". Radio contact was finally lost in July 1945.”

“A second expedition followed the tunnel for miles, and eventually they came to a vast underground cavern that was abnormally warm; some of the scientists believed that it was warmed geothermally. In the huge cavern were underground lakes; however, the mystery deepened, as the cavern was lit artificially. The cavern proved so extensive that they had to split up, and that was when the real discoveries were made.”

“What kind of discoveries?” Bones sounded intrigued. show us how he was intrigued.

Monday nodded to Dom who picked up the explanation. “The Nazis had constructed a huge base into the caverns and even built docks for U-boats, one was identified supposedly. Still, the deeper they went, the more strange visions they were greeted with,greeted them? including what they called Polar Men. These were mad savages who inhabited the tunnels. A survivor reported that, "there were hangars for strange planes and excavations galore", and the technology was far advanced to what any nation had in those days.”

“What explanation did the British government have for all of this,” Scout interjected.

Dom continued. “The tunnel was explained away as a freak of nature; "glacial erosion" was the scientist’s specific term. The "Polar Men" were nothing more than "unkempt soldiers that had gone crazy"; the fact that they were German was never put into the report, and any notion of the results going public was firmly rebutted. The mission was never made official, though certain elements of the mission leaked.”

“Our job is to find these tunnels, explore them and see if there are any Nazi bases left there?” Lofton inquired.

Monday corrected him. “Our primary job is to find Daria and if at all possible recover the jewels. This is one of several ‘potential’ locations that must be checked.”

“Man. This is way too freaky.” Weps threw his hands into the air. “Nazis, Polar Men, secret bases under the ice, what’s next, flying saucers.”

“Now that you mentioned it,” Henri snorted. “After the Antarctic ‘Operation Highjump’ in 1947, Admiral Byrd spoke of, flying objects that could fly from pole to pole at incredible speeds. These words were reported in the press but censored by the government.”

“The put the in italics for emphasis Admiral Byrd?” Lofton asked.

“None other.” Henri took a long drink of his beer.

“The British left the caves in tact and never returned?” Bones asked. “With that amount of high technology scattered about you’d think they would have sent a massive force to recover it.”

“The last expedition supposedly blew up the tunnels with explosives,” Dom answered. “It is alleged that was the reason for Admiral Byrd’s Operation Highjump. If the Nazis did have secret technology hidden somewhere in Antarctica, the American government wanted to know about it. They also wanted their share of the secrets, as did the Brits and Russians.”

“With our modern satellites and spywear, wouldn’t we be able to spot something like that from space?” Lofton stated. “If not visual signals, shouldn’t we be able to pick up radar emissions or communications of some nature?”

“Antarctica is almost one and a half times larger than the United States and fifty-eight times bigger than the United Kingdom,” Dom replied. “Unlike the Arctic, is has a large land mass. Although most of it is covered in ice, about 6,000 feet thick, many areas are ice free. Science speculates there may be warm regions caused by geothermal activity or caverns cut through the ice due to the same reason. Finding something in a place that size from space would be more than a miracle.”

Monday had not told them about the possibility of modern Nazi’s inhabiting bases in Antarctica or South America. He didn’t want to clutter their thoughts with fantastic ideas. He decided to lay it all on the table, even the suspicion that the inhabitants had tactical nuclear weapons.

“There have been many alleged sitings of UFO’s with a Nazi or German connection,” Monday began. “Flying saucers with swastikas or iron crosses on them and "aliens" speaking German, and so forth. One example is the American Reinhold Schmidt - whose father was born in Germany - tells in his book Incident At KearneyMaybe but title italics comma (Nebraska) comma that is commahe was taken on a 'flying saucer' on several occasions.”

“He said the crew spoke German and acted like German soldiers. He said they took him to the Polar region period (if someone were making up a story, why would they claim to be taken, of all places, to the pole?)After returning he was subjected to persecution by the U.S. Government. His description of the aerial discs matched pictures captured from the Germans.”

“In 1959, three large newspapers in Chile reported front page articles about UFO encounters where the crew members appeared to be German soldiers. In the 1960s there were reports in New York and New Jersey of flying saucer "aliens" who spoke German, or English with a German accent. In the Julius and Ethel Rosenberg atomic espionage trials, they spoke of "warships of space." Since they had access to top secret information, about what were they talking?”{c:blue| The last sentence was confusing. I'm not sure what you meant there.

“They told me at Los Alamos about the Nazis and one particular UFO incident. Nazi General Reinhard Gehlen, who worked for US Intelligence after the war, stated that early in the German war effort, their atomic research facility was visited by two saucer-like craft in the early hours of the morning. Some of the occupants were short of stature, with large black eyes, and spindly bodies, others were human in appearance. Eight occupants emerged, and attempted to communicate through telepathy their peaceful intentions. They were gunned down, but one of the human like aliens, managed to survive. Hitler was summoned to the facility, and psychics were used to extract information from the alien through telepathic means, and in desperation, brutal force. The alien appeared to have the ability to influence a person's actions, their thoughts, and hypnotically produce amnesi. "

“President Truman was shown photos of a hidden underground research facility, and the alien crafts that were recovered. One craft had been completely disassembled for reverse-engineering. The location of the aliens was not known, since Hitler's top officials took them to a secret location. General Gehlen further noted that the rumored information obtained from the alien was never revealed to those outside Hitler's inner circle. General Galen was working for our government when he told this story. Why would he lie?

After all we have discovered, seen, We have to assume that the Nazis have managed to create their own UFO technology and this is what we will be looking for.”

This chapter just needs some polishing with commas and passive voice. I like how you're combining the different stories, legends, theories, (I'm not sure what to call them.) I think you're doing it in a way that isn't too out there.

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
150
150
Review by Ms. J Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Chapter 44

May 8, 2012 – Near Mount Fitz Roy – Argentina



Shortly after noon a helicopter landed on the manicured lawn of the villa. Daria and Señor d’Amador were enjoying a quiet lunch on the patio overlooking extensive flower gardens and a large water fountain. Hans and Wilhelm dismounted from the helicopter and casually walked towards them. The pilot cut the engine power and allowed the helicopter to cycle down to a low whine. Señor d’Amador stood as they approached.

Hans, dressed in a perfectly tailored business suit, looked refreshed. Wilhelm, on the other hand, was dirty and appeared completely exhausted. His camouflage uniform was smeared with mud and what appeared to be dried blood.

“Where is Colonel Dorbec?” Daria asked, afraid to hear the answer. “You’ve killed him, haven’t you?”

“I can assure you that the good Colonel is very much alive,” Hans chuckled. “He accomplished his mission and we no longer need his services. I assume he is on his way back to Europe as we speak.”

Daria felt disappointed. She had somehow come to like the crazy French mercenary. He was a gentleman and had a well-balanced sense of humor. She also felt comfortable around him, as if he was her protector and not her abductor. Her instincts told her that he was not like these men standing before her.

Hans turned to Señor d’Amador. “Have you packed Fraulein Wolff’s travel bags as instructed?” Juan nodded. “We will be leaving the villa within the hourcomma F fraulein. If there is anything special you need to take with you, I suggest you make arrangements with Señor d’Amador.”

“Where are you taking me?” Daria demanded.

“Where you will be safe and happy.” He did not wait for her reply but nodded to Wilhelm and both strode briskly towards the main house.

Daria looked imploringly at Juan. “You will not be joining us?”

“I have my duties here,F fraulein. But, I do believe we will meet again, soon perhaps. Come now, we must prepare for your journey.” He offered her his arm and motioned towards the house. Did she take his arm?

The helicopter was larger than the one that brought her to the villa. She knew little or nothing about helicopters, but this one appeared to be a military version. There were no cushioned seats, no decorative interior, and the noise was an assault on her ears. The walls were plain metal painted an austere gray. Skeletal cables and wire harnesses ran between the framework. Several racks in the rear cabin held what appeared to be assault rifles and boxes of ammunition.

Hans had changed into a uniform similar in pattern to the clean one that Wilhelm had donned. There was something about the camouflage pattern of the cloth that made Daria’s eyes feel odd. The more she looked at the material the harder it was for her eyes to focus. The material was attempting to change its pattern to adjust to its surroundings. It was an incredible material, acting like a natural chameleon. She had no doubt that the material was a technological breakthrough in camouflage.

They were flying less than a hundred feet above the trees following the contour of the land. She knew this technique was used when a pilot wanted to avoid being painted on radar, at least that’s what the thriller writers described in their action novels. Based on the location of the sun to their left, Daria assumed they were heading in a south/south west direction.

Several hours later the helicopter landed in a small isolated clearing surrounded by tall rocky hills. The pilot turned and said something to Hans that she could not hear over the harsh whine Oo! I like that harsh whine! of the rotors. Hans smiled and motioned for her to disembark from the helicopter. As soon as they were a comfortable distance from the helicopter, the engine revved up and the helicopter quickly took off. Within minutes she could no longer hear the engines. The sudden quiet felt strange and out of place.

For several minutes nothing happened. Hans and Wilhelm surveyed the terrain in the little valley but did not say a word or make a comment. She was about to ask them what was to happen next when a strange subdued noise charged the air surrounding her.

Daria turned in a slow circle in an attempt to locate the source of the odd noise and vibrations. Her eyes expanded when a large disc shaped object flew into the valley and hovered several inches above the ground. It was a vehicle shaped like two saucers facing each other, approximately fifty or sixty feet in diameter and perhaps twelve feet thick at the center. The aircraft emitted a strange bluish color and it was difficult for her eyes to adjust because the pattern kept changing like the camouflage uniforms that Hans and Wilhelm wore.

“Please follow me.” Hans pointed to a recess opening in the side of the vehicle.*Paragraph* A short ramp slid down from the recess and stopped about an inch above the ground. Daria was amazed by the sudden appearance of the craft but more amazed at the thoughts running through her head. Striding in a trance like state, she followed Hans up the ramp and into the interior of the craft. As soon as Wilhelm cleared the top of the short ramp, the opening to the outside quickly sealed itself.

Daria found herself in a small circular corridor, which evidently ran the full circumference of the small craft. Small rooms were arranged like hotel rooms and the ones she saw open was were occupied by men and women in strange tailored uniforms. As she progressed down the corridor, Wilhelm suddenly broke off and headed down a small parallel corridor. She could see that it was short and ended in what appeared to be a fairly large control room, which held scores of computer monitoring screens depicting various scenes and technical data.

Hans led her to a small comfortable room with several low chairs and a small round table. A monitor screen mounted on the wall to her front depicted several men loading her baggage onto the craft. As soon as they completed their task, the small loading ramp sealed itself once again.

“I must go to the control room,” Hans finally stated. “You will be safe here and we will be at our destination in no time at all.” Her puzzled expression and creased forehead brought a smile to his face. “The answer to your question is yes,” He chuckled. “This is a UFO, but I can assure you, it does not belong to little green men. You are on a scout ship and we call it a Fliegenkämpfer, or Flying Fighter. It is one of many in the new Deutsche Reich Luftwaffe.

“This is impossible!”

“I can assure you this is real,F fraulein. It is a dream that we have been working towards for seventy years.comma A dream that my father and your grandfather started from the ashes of a destroyed Germany. We will finally witness the emergence of a new German Empire. I must stress that we are not a belligerent people. We do not seek to take what is not ours. We hold no animosity against the Allied governments who caused the downfall of the Third Reich. But, we will take our rightful place among the free nations of the world.”

“Germany already has a government,” Daria returned with a defiant look on her face. “We have a central federal government and sixteen federal states, the Bundesrat and Bundestag, and we are a sovereign nation beholding to no other.”

“I am aware of the political composition of modern Germany.” Hans shook his head and walked from the room, the small sliding door opening and closing behind him.

Daria leaned back in the comfortable seat and prepared herself for the acceleration she knew must be coming when the craft took flight. A quick glance at the monitor on her wall told her the craft had already taken to the skies. If the picture scrolling across the screen was accurate, or even true, they were already several kilometers high and traveling at an incredible speed. She felt no sense of motion. There was no lift, no drag, and no sign that they were moving at all. The technology it took to produce this aircraft was well beyond anything she had ever read about.

She was frightened, but in the same frame of mind, curious. Was it possible that remnants of the Third Reich had escaped and produced a startling new technology? Were they the fiendish Nazi’s portrayed in the cinema and the history books? These questions would have seemed ridiculous and absurd a few short weeks ago. But, after all she had uncovered and been subjected too over the past week, her mind was more susceptible to unusual and unorthodox thoughts.

Events had been moving so fast she could barely guess where Monday was and what he was doing. That he was searching for her, she had no doubt. The sudden disappearance of Colonel Dorbec also bothered her, especially in view of the dark stains on Wilhelm’s uniform that looked like dried blood. She could only hope that Hans was honest about him returning to Europe. That thought brought with it another sudden fear. If the blood was not Dorbec’s or his men, did it belong to Monday or his men

A uniformed woman startled her out of her reverie. “Would you care for a cup of tea, coffee or other beverage?” Daria had not even seen or heard the woman enter the room. The woman was young, early twenties and very attractive, even in her uniform. She had light brunette hair with blond highlights, hazel eyes leaning towards blue, and a tan that Daria would love to have envied. Her innocent childish face beamed a broad smile and Daria could sense that it was genuine and not forced. Her German was flawless but spoken with a strange accent.

Daria accepted a cup of coffee the woman had on a small serving tray and pointed at the other seat in the room. “Are you allowed to sit?”

“Thank you.” The woman sat down straight in the chair as if she were at a military dining table, the tray on her lap, her back ramrod straight.

Daria motioned for her to place the tray on the small round table. “Please join me…?” She turned the request into a question seeking the woman’s name.

“Computertechniker-erste Klasse Marta Buchmacher, period” the woman reached for a cup of tea sitting on the tray. She was very nervous but continued smiling.

“Well, Computer Technician First Class Marta Buchmacher, your accent is strange, what part of Germany do you come from?”

“The New Germany, FuhrerEnkelin.” She whispered so low that Daria could barely hear her. The use of the title, Leader’s Granddaughter, was given a tone of deep respect and wonder. It made Daria feel that she had somehow been promoted to princess or at least to duchess. She did not like the connotations the title brought with it.

“Do you know where we are going, Marta?

“To main base, FuhrerEnkelin.”

“Daria. It’s Daria, not Leader’s Granddaughter. I am not royalty and I have no knowledge of a New Germany.”

“Yes Fuhr…Fraulein Daria. We are heading for our main base. We should arrive in approximately twelve minutes. Clearance and docking will take another ten minutes.”

“You have more than one base if we are going to the main base?”

“We have many bases. All will be made clear to you once we arrive, Fraulein Daria.”

Daria could see that the young woman was still very nervous. She had probably been ordered to keep her company while they were in transit to the base.comma For what reason Daria could not fathom. She had no desire to explore a strange aircraft, especially one in flight.

“Where is the main base located?”

“I cannot give this information to you other than to say it is about five thousand kilometers from where we took flight.”

Daria did the calculations in her head. “You mean we are traveling over five thousand kilometers in less than half an hour?” She was awed by the speed of the little aircraft.

“We are traveling at a moderate speed,period” Marta shrugged.

Daria noticed the lapel pin on herMarta's uniform jacket. Her uniform was not camouflaged like the ones worn by Hans and Wilhelm. It was more utilitarian, but attractive in cut and design. It had a very modern, even futuristic look about it.

“You are wearing a swastika emblem on you lapel,” Daria noted. “Is that the symbol of, New Germany?”

“Only one of many, Fraulein Daria. “This pin signifies that I am a proud member of the Socialist Directory, the one started by the Fuhrer.” The woman suddenly stood and placed her teacup on the table. “I ask permission to leave now?” She stated. “I have duties to perform as soon as the ship lands. And, would you honor my family by autographing your napkin. I promised Pa Pa I would ask?”

Daria was puzzled by her request but signed the napkin with a pen offered by Marta. “I hope we meet again Marta.” A glance at the wall showed that the viewing monitor had been turned off. Evidently she was not allowed to view their landing area. Perhaps it would provide too many clues to their location.

A few minutes later her door slid open again. Standing there with a wide grin on his face was Hans.

“Welcome home!” he said.

The ship is interesting. That adds another level to the story, in a good way.

Shalisse

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
472 Reviews *Magnify*
Page of 19 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/upstartcrow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6