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1,223 Public Reviews Given
1,228 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You had me at "A mysterious killer targets women walking the streets at night; stealing body parts for reasons unknown." But, I'm a bit demented when it comes to my movie preferences and I love when they come with a "slice of cheese." *Bigsmile*

It looks like they should have given Alita some more weaknesses so that the action creates more tension. I could totally see how that would be a disappointment. And, your descriptions of what is supposed to be love scenes, I imagine were more laugh or eye-roll worthy than warm and fuzzy.

There was some good wording in here, two of which are listed above. "But it’s not all candy and sight-seeing" is another great phrase in this review.

This is actually well written with plenty of pros and cons. The only thing I would suggest was not to give the whole movie away. For example, you took the surprise away with learning that the mysterious stranger is not so safe, so when I get to that part I'll expect it, rather than be engulfed in the mystery. There are ways of expressing this without giving the scene away. You could simply write something to the effect of, "Not all is who they appear to be. Some friends are enemies in disguise" or something to that effect.

Spoilers aside, you did a good job on the assignment. It looks like an interesting movie to watch. It appears to have the right amount of B quality that I love. Yep, you read that right, B movies are the bomb.

Thanks for putting so much effort into the assignment. *Heart*



Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
52
52
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi again. *Bigsmile*

Reading your description, this sounds like a great family movie, albeit a sad one. After reading this, if I were looking for an inspirational watch, I'd check this one out. The film seems to focus on real-life struggles many of us face. There will be tears shed, but the overall theme of the poem is an inspiration through Christian morals.

The only thing I would suggest here is maybe not giving the whole movie away. There are ways to share aspects without giving specific details. For example, when you tell the reader about all of the son's failures that lead to his eventual theater career, you could simply write, "He rises above life's mishaps, finding his true calling" or something like that. Then, we know that we are going to see some inspiration, but the journey is still a surprise.

Other than that, I think you did a good job on the assignment. I like how you share that this is family friendly, even though it does have a subtopic of overcoming abuse. Then you also encourage the reader further by watching it by making sure to let them know what awards the film has received. In addition, you highlight some famous actors who are in the film. Big actors always catch people's attention.

You did well with this. Thanks for putting so much effort into the assignment. *Heart*




Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
53
53
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I'm reviewing this for my challenge in "a very Wodehouse challenge" . This is truly an awesome auction/raffle, which is why I chose it as my first to review.

Design
It was smart to use a theme that is familiar to all. I mean, who hasn't read or at least watched Alice in Wonderland? It makes it memorable for those who see it in passing and they are more likely to return.Plus, you keep to the theme throughout, making it visually appealing.

It was smart to offer both an auction and a raffle. Not everyone can afford to bid on packages, so this encourages more to contribute.

Mechanics
There are no spelling or grammar issues. Also, the rules are easy to understand.

Promtness of Responces
As always, you are prompt with your responses. I don't see any anonymous gifts in your forum right now, but I know from experience you are awesome at adding a note in the forum, tagging the gifted and letting them know they have received an anonymous gift. This is why I utilize your activity when I am participating in Secret Pal or Secret Santa.

Final thoughts
This is a great fundraiser that benefits some great groups. Keep up the awesome work. *Heart*
54
54
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*Ha* *Rolling* *Rolling* *Rolling* ! Hillarious!

I knew this was going to be great once I read the title!

"“Paul’s always acted a bit dog-like but only recently has he started to accept it. I think it was when he caught a frisbee in his mouth that Paul realized it wasn’t some quirk, this was real.” " *FacePalm* *Rolling* I almost spit my coffee out in laughter with that line.

This just got more humorous as it went. You seemed a little self-conscious about sliding this in on the last day of the week, but it is apparent you put a lot of thought into writing it.

This is relevant to today in a comical sense. Funny thing is, my guy is a white guy named Joe and the other day he announced to me that he's decided to self-identify as a Mexican and I should now call him Jose. I better not show him this or he'll decide to self-identify as a dog and howl when, well, you know. Buahaha!

Thanks for the laughs! This was five stars all the way!


Created by Of_fire_born for Rising Stars' Reviewers
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Review of Bridget's Miracle  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi OOT™ ! This is your third review for your winning package in the "Chinese New Year Celebration" . This was another wonderful story to start my day off with. It was light and fun to read.

The hook
Again, we are introduced to the conflict. She's witnessed a miracle and I wanted to read to the end to find out what it was.

Dialogue
The dialogue was executed exceptionally well in this story. It was mostly thrown into the actions of the story, which made it feel like I was watching the story unfold, rather than just being told someone said something.

Character Development
There is a ton of character development in this one. With such a short word count you were able to develop four characters without it getting too confusing. That is not an easy thing to do.

Both the mother and father seem like typical stern parents. They neglect to listen, only focusing on the fact that she is hanging out with someone she was told not to. Also, the father seems judgmental because of him judging the friend due to the mistakes of her parents.

The brother appears immature in the way he teases her. The teasing he inflicts on her felt realistic. It is realistic to sibling rivalry.

Scenery
There isn't a ton of scenery shown, but the scenery there is thrown into the actions of the story, rather than being long drawn out descriptions that the reader would skip over. For example, the father sitting behind the newspaper is shown into the actions of the story before he begins to lecture her.

Plot
The plot is interesting. I felt sorry for her when nobody would listen to her. Apparently, she had witnessed something important or else she wouldn't be so distracted that she'd unknowingly spill water all over the floor. Then when we find out what it is, it is something totally unexpected. I had to giggle at how she chose to tell them, which suggests that others are reading her secret stuff.

Mechanics
I didn't see any issues to address. Unlike the other two stories, this one has more of an active voice due to the lack of the word was and there is also a lot of showing, rather than telling, which helps the reader see what is going on more clearly.

Final thoughts
Overall, great story. It was a fun and entertaining read.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed raiding your port the past few days. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
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Review of Grandpa's Gift  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi OOT™ !This is the second review for your winning package in the "Chinese New Year Celebration" . I chose this one because I thought it would have an uplifting quality. Since it was early in the morning when I read this, I wanted to start my day with something positive.

The hook
The first paragraph introduces the conflict, which works well as a hook. We know that she is mourning the death of her grandfather. Even worse, he has passed shortly before Christmas. Holidays are always hard when we have lost a loved one, so the fact that he died right before an important holiday is more painful.

Dialogue
The dialogue is conversational, which gives it a realistic feel. You even add some body language, rather than the overuse of said.

Character Development
I could feel Olivia's sadness in this. It was apparent that she was really close to her grandfather.

Grandpa appears to have a good sense of humor. I like how the story is lightened when he comes into the picture. I could see him there smiling at her.

The mother is shown somewhat. To enhance the mother's character it might help to add some concern in her expressions.

Scenery
The scenery is pretty basic. There really isn't much, but I'm not sure if it would enhance the story to add more since most of the plot has little to do with the scenery. If anything, the scenery could maybe be used more to enhance the polarities with her sadness and the brightness of the holiday. For example, blinking tree lights which should represent joy would contrast her emotional state.

Plot
The plot is interesting. With so few words you were able to add a twist, which isn't easy to do in approximately 500 words. I liked the ending too. It was a surprise, which is refreshing.
Mechanics
Grammatically, I didn't see any issues. Although, I do have some suggestions in reference to the execution of the story. Like the first story I read of yours, I would suggest to avoid ly words and the word "was". Ly words are evidence of telling, rather than showing. The word "was" represents a passive rather than active voice. Keeping an active voice within the writing helps to keep the reader as if they are an active participant in the story, while a passive voice feels more like the reader is an outsider looking in.

Final thoughts
Overall, I thought this was a great little story. It was a wonderful feel-good story.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, the thoughts expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully, my thoughts on your writing were helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Going Home  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi OOT™ ! I'm finally getting around to giving your reviews owed to you from your winning package in the "Chinese New Year Celebration" . My apologies for the delay. It has been a busy week for me.

I can see why this story has gotten so many positive reviews over the years. It is a memorable one.

The hook
Right away we are taken into the conflict of the story. This woman has lost her family, which resulted in severe emotional issues and a stay at the psyche ward. It is a good hook. I wanted to read on to find out what happened to her family and to know what her eventual outcome would be.

Dialogue
The dialogue is executed well. It is conversational, rather than overly formal, which makes it feel realistic.

Character Development
I love the way you show the personalities of the characters in a way that also shows the dynamics of their relationships. Jeff has a sarcastic streak and during these times I can imagine a glimmer of a mischievous smile. Then when it comes to the daughter, she is a typical teen going through a vanity faze. The too much make-up is very typical of her age.

Scenery
The scenery is perfect. It shows the story, rather than being long-winded and irrelevant descriptions. For example, we are shown the home through descriptions that are relevant to the plot. We are shown the sadness of leaving this place behind and you show the contents of the home or lack of contents through her emotions about it. The removal of the contents without her permission is symbolic of her family being ripped from her.

Plot
The plot is excellent. I was glued to your words as this story unraveled and couldn't help but get emotional when I found out what happened to her family and her eventual outcome.

There were a few things, which I would like to suggest to make this great story even better. One is the importance of an active voice, rather than a passive voice. The repeated use of "was" shows a passive voice. Below is an example of a suggestion on how to transform one area from passive to active. Your words are in blue and mine are in green.

With a final look at the house and life she was about to leave behind, she got up into the truck and hurried away.

She turned, taking one last glance at the home which represented her former life, then got into the truck and hurried away.

Another suggestion I have is to avoid ly words. Ly words are usually a sign of telling rather than showing. Below is an example of a sentence in your story where you used an ly word and a suggestion for turning the sentence into a showing sentence, rather than a telling one. Your words are in blue and mine are in green.

"Baby, I'm pregnant," Jill said hesitantly after they had finished their dinner.

Her rapid heartbeat thumped hard against her chest plate as she contemplated her words. "Baby, I," is all she mustered before she looked away to inhale some courage and exhale what she needed to say. "I-I'm pregnant."

Mechanics
For the most part, this is error free from my perception. There was only one area that jumped out at me.

Oh, those damn memories! - This is just a style preference, but I feel italics would work better. It would make this line stand out more as internal dialogue.

Final thoughts
Albeit sad, this was a great story. There were some great twists, which uncover the past and help us understand this woman's current situation and emotional state. There is also a lesson here about the harm of drinking and driving.

Thank you for sharing your writing. It has been a pleasure reading your writing. Any advice I have given is only an attempt to help a fellow writer. Hopefully, my suggestions have been helpful. Most importantly, keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
58
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Review of Disillusionment  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Thank you for your continued contributions to the"Rebel Poetry Contest" . *Bigsmile*

This was a lovely verse. I like how you express that the Earth will rejuvenate itself once we are extinct. It expresses the continuation of life but also reminds us that the planet is going to do what it has to do to survive, even if it means getting rid of the human pests.

Of course, you had to throw a bit of your comedic mind in it, with equating Trump's mental state to poop. This seems to be your creative signature. *Bigsmile*

Thanks for submitting your poem to the contest. *Heart*
59
59
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

Just wanted to stop by and tell you that you did an excellent job on this assignment. It is obvious you took the time to browse other fellow candidates, getting to know them to make creative questions. Plus, the questions are clear and challenging, yet not overly hard to find.

Thanks for putting so much effort into the assignment. Great job! *Heart*
60
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Review of Two Brothers  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi John! As part of my challenge in "a very Wodehouse challenge"  I need to review five members I've never reviewed before. So, tag, you are it. *Bigsmile*

This was an interesting story! So, I am glad I found your port.

The hook
The first paragraph doesn't include a hook, but it does set up the scene so that we understand what this man's life is like. The hook is actually when the phone rings and we find out that the brother is in trouble.

Dialogue
The dialogue is conversational, which helps it feel realistic. You also avoid the redundancy of said and instead add other descriptions which show the story more.

Character Development
We have four characters defined in this story. We have James, James' wife, Thomas, and the mother. James is apparently a family man and very giving. This is apparent because we are told all that he has already done for his brother. His mother is obviously an enabler, who guilds James into being an enabler with her.

This Thomas is not brought into the scenes, but we learn about him through the drama in the story. He's an addict, who makes a lot of bad choices, which mom and brother are usually there to fix. Now, he's ruined his body and seeking his brother's sacrifice in order to fix that.

Scenery
There really isn't much scenery, but it isn't needed to show the story.

Plot
The plot makes a moral point. I appreciated that you took a different stance on this. There are a lot of stories out there showing how great self-sacrifice is, but this story makes one question that concept and ask one's self, "Does everyone deserve such things?" Maybe it is better for someone to pay the consequences for their actions.

Mechanics
I found a few areas where I feel need improvement. Your words are in blue and mine are in black.

Please James this is serious- This should be "Please, James, this is serious." Otherwise, she is asking for him to please James, rather than begging him to take her words seriously.

He couldn’t help but to think that life was good.- I noticed you used "that" a lot. In most of the cases, the word is not needed.

His mother never just called, something had to be wrong. There should be a period, rather than a comma, separating these phrases.

Final thoughts
Overall, this was a good read. You added a lot of detail with very few words, which is challenging.

Thank you for sharing your writing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fog  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
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Hi there. As part of my challenge in "a very Wodehouse challenge"  I need to review five individuals I have never reviewed before. While stalking your port, this story caught my attention because it is in the paranormal genre. I like a good ghost story, so I figured I would give it a read.

The hook
The beginning does hint at something sinister, which encourages the reader to want to read more. Only, that first sentence just doesn't read right for me for some reason. I'm not really sure if you mean that the actual river was too foggy to see anything clearly or if "it" (the shadow) was difficult to see by the river.

Dialogue
A lot of the dialogue is conversational, which is good. Characters speak in normal speech patterns, rather than seeming overly formal. You even use things like "outta", which shows a little bit of an accent.

Character Development
Bobby isn't smart in some ways. Most people know that shining bright lights on fog only causes more blur, but Bobby tries anyways. Or, maybe he was just nervous. Sometimes people do irrational things when they are nervous.

The story is told through a first-person account, but we never get to know the person's name. We don't even know the gender of the narrator. The only one that is given a name and gender is the boyfriend.

Scenery
The scenery was shown clearly. We get a strong sense of how this fog is hiding something bad. It gives an ominous feel to the story. Plus, we are shown other details, like the parking lot.

Plot

The overall concept is good. I could see what you were trying to show or at least I think I do. Although, there are some holes in your plot. You seem to be missing the who, what, and why in the story. Who was after them, why did they do it, and what did they actually do to the boyfriend?

Why were they by this lake? How did they even get there if the fog was so thick? Also, why would Bobby leave him/her behind? Wouldn't they go to the truck together in order to leave together?

Also, why is the seat wet in the truck? It is inside the truck, so I figured maybe it was blood or something else, rather than dew, but the main character never looks to see what the moisture is.

Mechanics
I lost him. He was no more than a few steps from the bench and I couldn’t see Bobby anymore. - When you add "he" a few times and then Bobby towards the end, it makes it seem as though you are meaning to show more than one male character.

Throughout the story, you go back and forth from present tense to past tense. Below are two examples, but the issue is throughout the whole story.

I’m frantically searching all around as Bobby turns his phone light on and off.- Here you use present tense verbs such as "searching" and "turns"

There it was again. I know I saw it this time.- The use of "was" and "saw" makes this told in past tense.

Final thoughts
The premise of the story is actually good. It just feels like a rough draft to me. With some editing, I think the story would be a really good one.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed the read. Remember, the thoughts expressed here are only the opinion of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Christopher Roy Denton. I'm here to review this entry as a judge in the "Rebel Poetry Contest" 


First thoughts
The dynamics in the marriage were obvious here. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the unfortunate man in the poem.


Unique voice and analogy
There are so many poems by women lamenting about their relationships, so it was refreshing to get a male point of view. In this way the poem was unique.

I especially thought all the fairytale references were well done. I could see her whining how she deserves more while acting as a controlling witch. I've met women like this and often wonder why men stay with them.

Emotive qualities
I felt a little guilty for it, but I laughed when she kicked him. At the same time, I felt pity for the poor guy. I mean, he tries so hard, but nothing is ever good enough and he's rewarded with being degraded.

Flow
I thought you did well with the form. The broken heart was perfect for the content. Plus rhymes are consistent and not forced, which help the poem flow smoothly.

Mechanics
You are always picky with your edits, so it is of no surprise I could not find any errors to mention.

Final thoughts
I really enjoyed this poem (Not in a sadistic way). I enjoyed it because it shows the male perspective in a degrading relationship. Also being you, you brought some comedic elements to it, which made it not so dramatic.

Thank you for submitting an entry to the contest. Hopefully, you will continue to enter in future months. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Christopher Roy Denton. I'm here to review this entry as a judge in the "Rebel Poetry Contest" 

First thoughts
I felt your poem was relatable to the modern climate, where people are being silenced more and more in order not to offend others. It also takes a point of view some people are afraid to tackle.


Unique voice and analogy
The voice in the poem is unique in perspective. It is opinionated, showing how something innocent, expanded to something harmful to free speech.


Deaf to the world, your head is in the sand.- I particularly liked how you used this metaphor to show how safe spaces can promote ignorance and if overly done, can inhibit free speech.

Emotive qualities
I think you got your point across, showing your frustrations toward limiting free speech, yet you took consideration in understanding how it began in an innocent way.

Flow
You stuck to the form and the rhyme is consistent. No rhymes seem forced. Due to this, the poem flows perfectly.

Mechanics
The poem seems well edited, so there are no spelling or punctuation issues for me to trip over.

Final thoughts
I thought your poem was relevant to today's political and social climate. Thank you for submitting an entry to the contest. Hopefully, you will continue to enter in future months. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
64
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi, Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk. I'm here to review this entry as a judge in the "Rebel Poetry Contest" 

First thoughts
Your mind seemed to go in the same direction mine did when I found this image. Like you show in your poem, we do seem to be in a society where people are too overly sensitive, taking offense to people who voice different views. This is especially frustrating to a moderate conservative like me. I get bashed by both political parties if I speak up. I'm a bigot if I share my conservative views and If I share my liberal views I'm likely to be called a libtard.


Unique voice and analogies
I wouldn't say the voice or analogies are exactly unique, but I felt your poem was relatable, especially to the current political climate. No matter what political stance one takes, there is someone to take offense, rather than debate. If one does attempt debate it seems to be viewed as an attack lately and there is retaliation, rather than discussion.

Emotive qualities
In my opinion, all poetry should encourage emotions in the reader. To me, yours seemed to present frustration toward the norms of being overly sensitive to different modes of thought. I especially like the sarcasm in various areas where question marks are. It leaves the reader to contemplate, asking themselves those questions.

I love that last stanza. It concludes the poem perfectly with the dangers of the reality society has created. Silencing free speech silences individuality, which can be even more dangerous than a foreign invasion.

Flow
Through your word usage, I felt this flowed like a prose. I do feel it needs to be tightened up a little because some areas express the same concept but in different wording. For example, stanza one expresses the same thing as stanza four.

Mechanics
I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors to trip over.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed reading your verse. Thank you for submitting an entry to the contest. Hopefully, you will continue to enter in future months. *Heart*


Remember, the thoughts expressed here are from only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine what advice to apply to your writing. Hopefully, my thoughts expressed here have been helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (5.0)

I just wanted to stop by and rate my reading, but I'll respond to the card reading via personal message.

I love the creative way you display these, by the way. Even though I am not there, it gives the feel of an actual person to person reading. Plus, the words flow off the tongue, so eloquently. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I am reviewing this as part of my "a very Wodehouse challenge" . One of the challenges was to review three items listed under the comedy genre.

The hook
Honestly, her last name grabbed me. With a last name like Snot, she had to be an interesting character. Then we are shown her to be overly vain and about to go on camera. So, yes, the first sentence and paragraph works great as a hook.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed very well. Like usual, you don't overdo it with the dialogue tags and instead, toss their speaking into the actions of the story. Plus, you add plenty of body language so we see these characters speaking, rather than just being told they say something.

Character Development
Mostly, Mrs. Snot and her interviewer are developed. I get a sense that the interviewer is quite a bit like Mrs. Snot and wants to push her out of the picture. This is evident when she tries to be touchy-feely with Wang.

Dafney Snot is quite the gold digger. For a manipulative woman, she sure is not very smart. Apparently, she thinks she can get by due to her looks, rather than her brain.

Dafney's former husband seems like a winner (being sarcastic). Little details like his stench and vulgar language show him to be someone to be turned off by.

Mr. Wang really doesn't say much. Although, his body language, in the beginning, seems more like he is supportive of her or maybe he is just the old quiet type.

Scenery
The scenery is thrown into the actions of the story. We are shown the bright lights of the studio and the global location of where it takes place. This was enough to show the story. Any more would be too much.

Plot
I got a little laugh from the Mrs. Snot's karma. I suspected she'd make a mistake, especially since she has a history of it. Still, I didn't know what she'd do. So, the punchline was a funny surprise.

Final thoughts
Thanks for the laughs. I was sort of happy about Dafney's fate. She is the sort of woman that I find annoying, so being honest, I was happy with her outcome.

Thanks for sharing your writing! As always, I've enjoyed the read. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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I am reviewing this as part of my "a very Wodehouse challenge" . One of the challenges was to review three items listed under the comedy genre.

Yikes! That man sure had a horrible bedside manner. One would think he would at least warn you and show some compassion towards your reaction to the treatments. This was a great story, but I must admit, I cringed more than laughed.

The hook
Right away you get to the point. We know your eye is causing you issue. There is mention of your son, which made me wonder if the doctor's appointment and your son would somehow be the comedic element. I was curious to read on, so it worked as a hook.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed well. There is plenty of body language with dialogue, which helps the reader see these characters speaking, rather than just being told they said something. For example, since the doctor's mannerisms are cold-like, I saw him speaking nonchalant, without compassion, almost as if he was bored and uncaring.

Character Development
As I mentioned in the dialogue area, you did well showing this doctor to have a horrible bedside manner. His treatment was almost horrifying.

I like how you developed the parent/child relationship here. Young children sometimes do seem to have a psychic connection to their mothers, knowing when they are hurt, just like us parents do.

Scenery
The scenery is perfectly added to the actions of the story. I like how you showed the playroom. I giggled at the mention of the germy toy.

The doctor's office was pretty typical. All the details there sort of gave the experience a creepy feel, especially when he does the procedure without bothering to explain.

Plot
I thought this was a great story. In many ways it was relatable. I think most readers can say they have had an experience with a doctor with a bad bedside manner. Also, as a parent, I could relate to the aspects described with your son.

Mechanics
Honestly, I could not find any issues that jumped out at me. There were no confusing bits to trip over. You seem to have edited this story well.

Final thoughts
I surely hope you let others know to not see this doctor and I'm glad you didn't choose to allow him to stick a needle in your eye. Such an experience can be traumatic enough, much less if done by a doctor who has shown to be so careless.


Thank you for sharing your writing. I enjoyed stopping by your port. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
68
68
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Schnujo is Late to Lannister . I'm here as part of the Super Power Reviewers October raid. It was suggested that we review this auction for the raid, so here I am. *Bigsmile*

Visual appearance
The auction is visually appealing. Since this is about raising money for the animals in addition to helping the Super Power Review Group, I think it is especially neat that you add little drop-down menus so that we can learn about these animals. So, you spread awareness, plus teach us something. *Bigsmile*

Everything is organized well. The text is centered, so we don't have to scroll from side to side to see the auction.

Creativity
Adding three ways to participate (raffle, auction, and silent auction) was an interesting approach. It was a unique idea, especially the silent auction part. I wouldn't be surprised if others repeated the idea and we see more silent auctions popping up around WDC as fundraisers.

Prizes
I have to say, this is probably one of the most generous fundraisers I've seen on WdC. Typically people have fundraisers to raise gift points without having to spend their own. Although, your goal seems to be to raise funds for the animals and Power Reviewers while spending a whole lot of your own money.

I've noticed you are quick to respond to those who post in the forum and get awards for donations sent out really quick. When it comes to fundraisers and contests, I think quick responses encourage member trust and faith in the person running the activity.

Speaking of prizes. My badge is in and I need to get it to you, but I noticed I will have to wait until the 20th before it can count toward your community. So, I will send it then. It is pretty, by the way!

Thanks for all you do and for the positivity you spread to those around you. *Heart*
69
69
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Lisario . I'm here as part of the Super Power Reviewers Halloween review raid. Since your story is Halloween themed, I thought I'd give it a read and share my thoughts.


The hook
The title piqued my interest. I was curious how the man in the title would save the earth, especially since this is written for Weird Tales.

The real hook is actually when we learn the main character is diagnosed with a mental illness, which must be pretty severe since the mother has power of attorney over him at his age of thirty.

Dialogue
The dialogue is executed very well. Where there is dialogue, you add plenty of body language, which helps us to see these characters speaking, rather than just being told they say something. For example, we see the sister kick the door shut, while her arms are full of groceries when she greets her mother.

Character development
The most important character in this story, William, is the most developed. Being shown the story in the third person limited point of view, we see the story from William's perception. He is an unreliable narrator in many ways because his delusions sort of lie to the reader.

His reasoning for doing what he does are not intended to be harmful. He actually thinks he is doing good, which shows that he is actually a good person. The fact that he doesn't care if others actually know he is a hero also shows some humility.

Plot
I loved all the little descriptions in this story! Since William is an unreliable narrator, we don't really know what these green men are or if they are even there at all. Being in the man's head, I could see he was doing what he felt was the correct thing to do. So, in a way, I felt pity for him when the story concludes.

I don't want to give the ending or twists away, so I'll just say the conclusion was surprising and a horrifically great ending. It was definitely fitting for the contest it was entered into.

Also, since the story comes full circle, with the beginning merging with the end, it was apparent it was well thought out.

Mechanics
He approached the edge of the grave cautiously- Typically "ly" words are evidence of telling rather than showing. Ways to show caution are him moving slowly and/or tip-toeing while showing internal signs of stress like holding his breath or rapid breathing.

Final thoughts
I enjoyed your story! It had the right amount of weirdness and horror for this warped mind of mine.

Thanks for sharing your imagination with me. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
70
70
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
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Hi, Zemira Hammond . I'm here as part of the Super Power Reviewers Halloween review raid. Since your story is Halloween themed, I thought I'd give it a read and share my thoughts.


First thoughts
The story begins with expressing that this is a Halloween party, which is the main character's favorite holiday. Although, the real hook is when we learn the blood and cobwebs are real. This piqued my interest because I was curious about why there was real blood there.

Dialogue
There really isn't much dialogue because the whole story is pretty much telling what goes on step by step. Where there is dialogue, I found some issues.

I yelled out "we have to call the cops"- When there are quotation marks, the words should begin with a capitalized word, hence it should be "We", not "we". Also, you end this with a comma, when the sentence would be completed after the dialogue. Also, since she yelled, wouldn't it make more sense if the end punctuation was an exclamation mark?

Character development
The only character developed is the main character. She is developed in the way that we know she loves the holiday so much that she goes all out to create a huge party. Other than that, there are no other characters developed. At least developing the girl who died is important. Without getting to know her, her death really doesn't have much of an emotional impact on the reader.

Plot
The premise of the story is a good one. It is one, which is horrific and makes a good Halloween story. Although, there is a step by step telling of the story, rather than showing. For example, we are told someone walks downstairs with a dead body, yet, nobody except for the host really seems to be roused by it.

There is some showing with her yelling for someone to call the cops, which shows her being upset, but one would think the guests would be in a panic or there would at least be some sort of emotional scene. Plus, they don't even check her vitals or anything and there is just an assumption she is dead.

There are also some holes in the plot. We are shown one dead person, then the conclusion seems to expressed through her memory is that several people died. This is confusing.


Mechanics

There are places where you use the lowercase "i", which should actually be a capital "I". Also, you seem to have lumped the whole story into one paragraph, when in fact it should be broken up into several paragraphs. Below is a link which might be helpful in understanding how to break up paragraphs into subjects.

http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/03/15/writing-basic...

Also, there are areas where you use run-on sentences, which should be broken up into two or more sentences. Below is one example, but the issue is constant throughout the story.

.All we saw as he came back down, her limp body in arms, some thought it was a prank, for they were known for them. - A new sentence actually begins with the word "some".

Final thoughts
I felt like I was reading a first draft, where you quickly wrote down your thoughts for a story, but have not polished it yet. You have some great ideas here. I just feel it needs a lot of editing for clarity and there were a lot of structural issues.

Thank you for sharing your writing. Remember, these are the thoughts of only one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to apply. Hopefully, my thoughts have been helpful. As always, if you get around to do ing some editing, I would be happy to look at the story again and reevaluate my rating according to any repairs.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
71
71
Review of Anniversary verse  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Dawsongirl . I found this short little poem while browsing the random read and reviews. So, I figured I would share my thoughts on it.

I imagine your husband was quite happy receiving this. The greatest gift, as writers, we can give to those we care about is our heart in writing.

I thought this was a sweat poem one might leave on a pillow and I enjoyed reading it. May you have many more years together with your husband. *Heart*
72
72
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
# by Not Available.
I found this little story while browsing the random read and reviews. So, I figured I would share my thoughts on it.

I always find it fascinating to reflect back on writing, seeing the changes in style as we grow. It appears you have done well in keeping yours. Since this is an older writing only to be shared for the purpose of showing your dark muse in your high school years, I figured I would rate it according to the age you were.

For a young writer, it was actually quite good. I imagine it was done as a way of using vocabulary words in an assignment.

Thanks for sharing this little part of your past. *Heart*
73
73
Review of I Have Questions.  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Come on in and join the fun!


Hi, Fivesixer ! I'm here to review this item as part of the package purchased for you a while back in the "Invalid Item" 


First thoughts
After the first reading, I found myself interpreting this as someone in a purgatory of sorts. They are stuck at number one, yet don't know in which direction to go from there or how to gain an achievement.

Imagery
In some ways the poem is an allegory about life. We are not all given the lottery, hence given an endless platform for success. Also, a lot of times those merits given by others have a price not worth paying. In other words, people, in general, don't tend to do things out of the kindness of their heart and want something in return, or at least that is what I understood.

At the end you ask a question, which to me makes it seem like the subject of the poem is more pondering on how they got where they are, rather than really finding solutions to move forward. My answer to the question is, if it is not where they want to be, maybe begin looking for a new direction.

Flow
The poem flows sort of staccato due to enjambment, making it sort of rap-like in parts. This sort of flow seems to be a trademark of yours because most of the poetry I've read by you has the same feel when read out loud.

There were a few lines which I felt was unneeded.

I have questions.

Ok, I'll go first...

It is just my personal opinion, but I think the poem reads better without these lines.

Final thoughts
I thought this was a good free verse. It is relatable because most of us have been at this point in our lives at some point.

Thanks for sharing your creativity with WdC. I've enjoyed the read. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
74
74
Review of Enablist  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Come on in and join the fun!


Hi, Fivesixer ! I'm here to review this item as part of the package purchased for you by Kittera a while back in the "Invalid Item" .

I clicked on this poem due to the title. We all have been either been the enabler or enabled at some point. So, I figured I would relate to the verse in some way.

First thoughts
To me, after the first reading, I thought the voice in the poem was of someone who really isn't looking for the long term. They are addicted to the adrenaline of the beginnings and really don't want to go much further. The phrase the "cusp is the drug" brought me to this conclusion. This is not so uncommon in relationships. Some of us grow out of the thinking, others not so much.

Imagery
The poem seems to be written in hindsight of a past relationship. They see the other person as overly emotional, which is evident in describing them as slitting their wrists each night.

I'm thinking you were meaning the speaker of the poem was too shy to be waiting on a juggernaut. They are only interested in filling a mug, no more.

Judging by the title and the content, I'd think both subjects were enablers. The speaker enabled the other person's pessimistic behavior, while the other person enabled the speaker in their ways of dealing with relationships, holding back deeper aspects of self.

Flow
I thought it flowed well. Enjambment was executed well, enhancing the emotional content. There were no areas for me to trip over.

Final thoughts
You used some creative analogy in this free verse, which is refreshing. I enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing it. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
75
Review of Cheese Puffs  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi, StephBee - House Targaryen ! I'm here to review this item as part of the package purchased for you a while back in the "Invalid Item" 

I chose this item because it is in your romance folder. Lately, I've been trying to learn how to better write romance. Reviewing stories in the genre is a way of helping me to know what works and doesn't.

The Hook
The beginning introduces Angie. Knowing it is Valentine's day and she is yet again alone, I was curious if she'd meet someone since it is listed in the romance genre. The real hook though is when we learn about the package she receives, which belongs to a nearby neighbor. I was curious who this mystery person is and if this would be the person who would make Valentines much better for her.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed well. It is conversational, rather than overly formal. You also avoid the redundancy of said and instead add body language and/or incorporate it into the actions of the story. This helps the reader see the characters speaking, rather than just being told they said something.

Scenery
There really isn't any scenery, but I don't think it is really needed all that much. We know it is an apartment complex. Although, a little more thrown into the actions of the story would enhance it more.

Character Development
The characters you show here are interesting. Angie is unlucky in the romance department and in many ways is just annoyed with trying, especially since men have resulted in nothing more than heartbreak. Yet, she tends to let this new man in quite easily, being taken in by his flowery words. I got the feeling she would be more guarded. That would be expected of someone who has been hurt a lot. Maybe it is lust or Valentines, which makes her drop her guard so easy?

Drew seems like the whole package. He's a rare gem where the cover matches the inside. He's attractive, but a good guy.


Plot
I loved the cheese puff idea! That was cute. There is a sweetness to it, almost like that of love in youth. Knowing that someone played cupid was a nice twist to this.

Mechanics
Those first few paragraphs I feel need to be broken up into smaller paragraphs. Below is what it would look like broken up.

Angie squinted at her calendar next to the refrigerator and frowned. Valentine's Day. Just what she needed – to be reminded of her eternally single status.

The doorbell rang. She opened the door and peered into the hallway. Empty. Either it was the bratty kid in 2G pressing buttons, or UPS got the wrong apartment – again.

A brown box addressed to "A. Raines," Apartment 3D, rested on the floor at her feet. She let out a long breath and glanced at her watch, frustration winding through her limbs. She could only spare a couple of minutes to deliver his package before she had to leave for work.

Final Thoughts
I enjoyed the story! It was a sweet romance tale. Thank you for sharing it. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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