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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
June 17, 2019 at 6:29am
June 17, 2019 at 6:29am
#960928
11:15

The prompt for today:

In this scenario, money is no object, so you can buy anything you want. Only thing is, you can’t buy this for yourself. What will you buy, and who will you buy it for? Be creative here!

I'd buy houses for my sister and my best friends and pay off my brother's mortgage. Maybe buy everyone decent cars. It's all well and good to ask us to be creative with this and I'm aware that my uses for this imaginary money aren't creative, but really, I don't need money to be creative (except for the purchase of art supplies which then express that creativity) but I guess it isn't really about me. As I get older, I become less idealistic. Money isn't the answer to everything but it sure solves some big problems. Like getting you a roof over your head and a place to call your own. After gifting these people dear to me, I would host homeless dinners so people living on the streets could get some warm food in them. After that, I guess I could donate to various charities. And then maybe, whatever's left would go towards my son's bank account, for him to use when he reaches 30. Yes, thirty. It seems very irresponsible to be handed a large sum of money at the age of 18. When I was eighteen, I didn't know much about the world. I was terrible at saving. If something happens to me before he reaches thirty, in this imaginary scenario, I'm sure the people I've mentioned above would be happy to lend him a hand. Kindness begets kindness, right?

This has been interesting entry.

11:28

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