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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 10:13 I'm quite busy today. Those kinds of days are usually good days. I like being productive, which is weird because...I kind of like being lazy too. Well, no, I don't like being lazy. Being lazy is something that just happens. Well...I don't know. Let's just leave it there. I did make a start on my novel yesterday, like I'd promised myself I would. I got in about 1300 words. And there I was, thinking very optimistically that I'd try and get in 10, 000 words! In fairness, I went to my mum's and there is no computer there so I had a seven hour break which really could have been used better. Although I've resolved to plan out my stories before I begin, I'm struggling with it. I can't visualise what I want my story to be until I've written it, completed it, and then begun anew so I can iron out creases and sort out characterisation so it's all consistent. I get that it's time-consuming but I just can't come to terms with doing it another way. It's coming up with a compelling plot that's the hardest thing, and then thinking of what the ending is going to be before you've even begun writing properly. Let's see if I can do something here. Basic plot: Character A is running from her family. A plot like this requires you to have a reunion with the family, right? So something else. Hmm...Character A has done wrong to Character B and has decided to take herself out of his life. Again, requires the writer to make them meet up at the end. The problem here is that it sounds too simple. I get that you'd add elements as you progress, to make it more riveting, but if the plot is predictable, then I can't demonstrate what I mean because my problem is that I can't typically think of what the ending is going to be. Or maybe I could write any kind of story and just need to buckle down and get on with it. I'm so undisciplined. Well, this entry has been all over the place! It's always interesting to see what I'll write about since, without prompts, I have no idea what kind of things I'll explore. Actually, even with a prompt, I don't know what kind of things I'll explore! 10:32 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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