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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
June 21, 2019 at 5:49am
June 21, 2019 at 5:49am
#961270
10:34

The moment I read today's prompt, my mind went to the gutter *Laugh*

Something that I secretly love is...romance writing! I don't think I'm any good at it - not in a traditional sense, anyway. It's never about the dashing hero whose every action is an invitation to intimacy (that kind of thing is most definitely not my kind of thing). It's not about a couple overcoming all odds to be together (*Sick*). I think the romance that I occasionally indulge in writing is where one party is quite odd. The relationship is...kind of healthy, but one half of the pairing is not. Which begs the question - how can the relationship be healthy if one of the main players in it is not, right? I guess I'm just a bit weird that way. I know in reality, those relationships probably wouldn't work.

I can't really think of anything else that I secretly like. I'm pretty much an open book so I don't have any deep secrets which never see the light of day. Although...my friends are convinced that I'm a tomboy, since I used to act all queasy around girly topics in high school and I hated the colour pink. I'm not that bad around girly topics (I suppose having had to marry, give birth and what not, has helped me overcome my discomfort *Laugh*) and I don't even mind pink, although I'd keep it to a baby pink or pastel pink if I had to wear it. I love babies. I love flowers. I love pretty dresses. I guess I'm pretty much a standard girl lol. I should show this entry to my friends.

10:49

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