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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
June 25, 2019 at 6:48pm
June 25, 2019 at 6:48pm
#961535
23:28

Today's prompt is interesting because it is one that I have had to explore in some depth for a recent counselling assignment.

"Where do your cultural roots run the deepest? Where is your family’s ancestral home? Do you feel most connected to the place you grew up, where you live now, or somewhere else?"

To be quite frank, I don't care a whole lot about my culture. Why do I have to be beholden to something that changes with time? To my parents, it seems at times as if there is nothing worse than a person who doesn't abide by their culture, but what a lot of people, particularly of the older generation, seem to fail to grasp is that culture is not set in stone. Fashion trends, popular TV shows, who's hot in film right now, the mannerisms and style of the latest singer to top the charts, maybe even a poor woman who ends up writing one of the greatest children's book series ever. These all, and so many more, inform the way we interact with those around us.


...I fell asleep sitting at the desk. Not even slumped onto the desk - sitting up, leaning against the back. If that's not a reminder to get to bed, then what is?! But let me answer the questions at least:

My cultural roots run the deepest in Pakstan, probably. The family home is there too, although it's usually empty with some neighbours coming in to have a look at it every now and then, to clean it if it needs cleaning, and to make sure it didn't topple over since they last saw it. I dunno.

I feel most connected to my house. My house is the place where I can rest and be myself. It has little to do with culture, though. It's just a matter of convenience.

23:48



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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2186370-Writing-for-Fun-and-Leisure/day/6-25-2019