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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 21:24 Yesterday's prompt asked participants to put together a menu for a barbecue and today's asks us to list some activities we'd have at this barbecue. Er...Water balloon fights? For the kids, of course. There would be plenty of screaming by the adults when the kids try to throw them at their parents. Fun times! Maybe one overzealous kid can get the hose and try to spray everybody, resulting in being grounded for life. Poor kid, doing time when he's so young. Of course, I've never had a water balloon fight or seen anyone have one either, but it looks like good fun. And as an "adult", I'd have to be responsible and keep the kids in line...where's the fun in that? I want to be one of the ones throwing the balloons and getting grounded for life! I mean, if you think about it, I'm doing the time already so I might as well commit the crime! Everyone needs to live a little! ...On to real activities. The kids would probably play tag. That's all I can think of which the typical boring adults that I know would allow :\ If it was in my parents' yard, they'd have the option of going on the trampoline, but I don't have one. I have a dirty-looking swing and slide set which has been there since before I moved in, but one panel in the fence has come down and, knowing my husband, it will never get fixed so...You know what? I was going to say that the kids wouldn't be able to go on the swing/slide because the neighbour has a massive dog and we Asians typically don't like dogs, but forget the swing/slide; we'll have to cancel the whole barbecue until my husband gets that fence sorted! Two minutes left! In other news, I am considering getting another kitten so it can keep Dean busy. Poor kid, he's frequently left alone. And yet more news - I have found another counselling charity to apply to for my counselling, but I forgot to talk to my tutors about it while I was in college today so I'll have to email them instead! Another thing on my extensive to-do list that I must remember to do! It's for a bereavement counselling charity so I don't know how I feel about that, but I really need a placement so whatever goes! I'm very easily moved so I don't know if I'll be able to handle it but...I gotta try at least! 21:35 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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