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Take a look into the world as I see it. |
Size: 700 Entries
Created: February 7th, 2007 at 11:14pm
Modified: June 22nd, 2008 at 4:27pm
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Blog header made by my good friend ~*~Damiana Returned~*~ 
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
---Edgar Allan Poe
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Traditional Gemini Traits
Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively
On the dark side....
Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive
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December 15, 2007 at 9:18am
December 15, 2007 at 9:18am
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I don't feel so hot this morning.  I woke up and I am stiff from head to toe. Plus I must be retaining 30 lbs of water weight, and most of it feels like it's in my ankles and breasts. It's painful to walk just from the water retention. I hate PMS, because the pain you go through seems to be amplified 100 times over. I can never wait for that phase of the month to be over with. My period is late again. I hate what stress does to my body. Everything gets knocked out of whack. Plus I needed a bed since last month. I am not so sure that I can hold out for a bed until the end of the month.  But I don't want a used one either......that's just nasty. I would rather wait. |
December 14, 2007 at 10:15pm
December 14, 2007 at 10:15pm
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It was a nice day off, but it went too fast. I hope the weekend goes slower. My sister Sheila called me at grandma's house, and asked me to babysit. After what happened a few days ago with the little banshee at 3am in the morning, I don't know if I could babysit with her ever again. I just got home and found that my sister was still here. Apparently she had to skip work tonight because she couldn't find a sitter. Not my problem. I feel a little bad. But I need all of my sleep. I think she's pissed at me for not saying 'yes'. She actually had the nerve to ask me what I was going to do when I have kids when they wake up screaming and crying at night.  Okay, my sister is raising my niece all in the wrong way. I don't have any children myself or anything, but feel that I know more than she does. It's not my fault that the dead-beat father is a troublemaker and has landed himself in jail yet again, for violating his parole. I know I shouldn't criticize my sister too much because she's doing the best she can as a single parent, but still. I feel worse for Jazlyn because she's caught up in the middle of this mess. I love my niece to death, but she is too much of a handful because of the way she was raised. I told my grandmother about how Sheila wanted me to babysit, and she doesn't blame me for having reservations. Maybe one of these days when Jazlyn is older she will behave a little more than she does now. |
December 13, 2007 at 7:16pm
December 13, 2007 at 7:16pm
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I just completed my first week of work. They're letting us have tomorrow off because of something with management. I am getting more comfortable with the job that I will be doing. I was dispatched from training to work at a local hospital today, and will continue that until the building in downtown is completely ready.
A friend of mine that's a law student at MSU was supposed to come over lastnight after his exams, but he went out and got himself drunk and couldn't drive.  So that ruined that evening. He talked about driving over here anyway, and I told him not too, but he insisted that he could make it over here. I told him not to take any risks, and just stay put. I don't know if he attempted to come over or not. I hope not. I haven't heard from him and that's scary to me.  I know that he was supposed to go back to Canada for 3 weeks and then come back after the new year. I hope to hear from him soon, as I am very worried about him. I was talking to him through yahoo, and he said brb because he had to go ralph. He never came back and said anything. So I left him an offline message to get a hold of me asap, so I wouldn't worry so much. I am going to continue to worry until I hear from him. |
December 12, 2007 at 8:28am
December 12, 2007 at 8:28am
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I felt like such a dork lastnight. I was sitting at the computer, minding my own business when all of the sudden, I felt the chair buckle and heard it make a weird noise. Before I had even a chance to react or think anything, I went flying backwards.  One of the legs had broken off. Sheila heard a scream come from me and a loud crash. She came out to see what all of the noise was about and she saw me laying on the floor, and she busted out laughing. Apparently the chair was broken even before we brought it to the apartment. Nice of Sheila to tell me after the fact. Luckily grandpa had an extra chair that we could have so we wouldn't have to sit on the floor. This one is made out of metal so it shouldn't break anytime soon. Now if I could just stop stubbing my toe on the damn thing. |
December 11, 2007 at 8:14am
December 11, 2007 at 8:14am
December 10, 2007 at 6:06pm
December 10, 2007 at 6:06pm
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My first day went pretty well. I parked in the wrong parking ramp. I ended up spending the rest of the money that I had on that stupid ramp. The woman was going to charge me $4.00 for being there for 3 hours. I explained to her that I parked in the wrong one and I didn't know that there were more than one on that particular street. She got all bitchy and snippy with me. I explained to her that I only had $2.00 on me and that I didn't have a debit or credit card as of yet because I had just moved back. And she told "fine" and that next time I will have to have the ticket and sufficient funds to get through. She said it in a very rude tone. I was tempted to tell her that I will never park in there again. The company that I work for provided parking passes for us. Thank God. I am so advanced in my knowledge of the medical industry, that I am already being dispatched earlier than the rest to get right into being on the phones Friday.  Then I got home just in time to find my niece in my room terrorizing my cat. She ended up getting her head stuck under my dresser, so I had to lift that so she could get out. Maybe she will learn a lesson here. Then again, maybe not. |
December 9, 2007 at 10:31am
December 9, 2007 at 10:31am
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I found out why Sheila overreacted to the chip thing. Apparently Deadbeat Dan ended up in jail again and might have to spend 55 days in jail, simply because he failed to go in for a drug test. It's his fault. I don't feel sorry for him. I hated having him here nearly everyday of the week anyway. Why couldn't Sheila have gotten pregnant by a more responsible man? It hurts me to see my niece have such a rotten father.
I woke up sick this morning. I coughed up thick green phlegm with a tinge of blood in it. I feel extra dry too. I start my first day of work tomorrow. I don't want to be sick. |
December 8, 2007 at 2:23pm
December 8, 2007 at 2:23pm
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| This is a very boring day so far. I don't know what to do with myself at all. I have no plans whatsoever. I have been watching movies and writing in my blog on here, and that's it. I suppose I could always work on my embroidery. I am making a baby blanket, a dragonfly picture, and a pair of Indian Rose pillowcases. Maybe I will do those for awhile. |
December 7, 2007 at 5:37pm
December 7, 2007 at 5:37pm
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Sheila is weird! I saw that there were tortilla chips in the cupboard, I thought grandma had gotten those for us to share. I ate what was leftover in the bag, which there weren't many left anyway. Sheila comes home, and asks where her chips are at. I told her that I had finished them. She went all psycho on me and called me a bitch. Had I known that they were hers, I wouldn't have touched them. Excuse me, but anyone who gets all bent out of shape over a few chips is a serious head-case. God forbid, if you touch anything of Sheila's she will bite your head off, or something else if you happen to be a guy. I have been sharing my stuff with her. I have been nice. Nice as I possibly could with the way she always is. I can't live with that lunatic known as my sister. She's impossible to live with. As soon as I get settled into my job, I am going to ask the leasing office if they have any other vacant apartments. In the meantime, anything that's mine, or paid/paying for that's mine she is not allowed to use or touch. I know that it may seem immature, but I look at it as giving her a taste of her own medicine. She doesn't have very good parenting skills either. She would let Jazlyn get away with murder. Sheila will let Jazlyn stay up until 1 am sometimes. To me that equals bad parent. Or parents in both her and the baby's daddy. I always thought that becoming a parent was supposed to mature people and make them more responsible. Not in Sheila's case or the person she had the kid with. Everyone keeps sticking up for Sheila and fail to see my side of things. They come up with so many excuses for her. Well then, maybe I should spread my legs and get knocked up, and then I will finally have people on my side. Then she has the nerve to call me lazy.  I AM NOT LAZY!!!!! She tells me that all I do is sit on the computer all day. Bullshit! I have been running around all week doing things. This is my last Friday off before I start my job next week. I have every right to do whatever the hell I want to do with my free time. The house looks like a total ghetto dump with her boxes of shit lying everywhere. I am tired of looking at it and I am tired of her bitchy attitude. Sheila only expresses three moods, bitchiness, pissyness, or no emotion at all. That's not normal. I guess being on anti-depressants will do that to you. |
December 6, 2007 at 9:56am
December 6, 2007 at 9:56am
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| You know that job that I thought I had no chance in getting whatsoever because I was nearly an hour late? They called lastnight, and offered me the position! They told me to think it over and give them a call sometime today. Of course I am going to take it. The guy didn't want an answer right away. The position pays well too. $10.75/hr isn't too bad, considering you can't find jobs that pay that much in Michigan. That's the highest hourly rate I have ever had in Michigan. I can start on Monday. I will probably call the guy around 3pm this afternoon. Whoo hoo! |
December 5, 2007 at 5:30pm
December 5, 2007 at 5:30pm
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I had two interviews today. One was with Aflac, which turned out to be a total waste of time. They wanted me to work for them, but they also needed me to pay for a license, which runs anywhere from $150-$250, in which I don't have at all. I went to the other one today and that seems more promising than anything else I have had. I was late though. It wasn't really my fault. There were several different buildings which all had the same address. That really confused me. I was 45 minutes late for my interview, they were very understanding, thank God. They didn't have anything marked outside where they would be. So technically it wasn't my fault, but it was. If I don't get this job, there are others out there.  |
December 5, 2007 at 1:46pm
December 5, 2007 at 1:46pm
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| I just found out today that Molly has to provide a death certificate for her school to prove that she will no longer be getting my dad's assistance. She called Lansing to see how long it would be before we would have the results of the autopsy. They told her that they still have some pending from 2006. That is a fucking load of bullshit if I have ever heard it! Are they trying to tell us that it might take over a year or more to find out what happened to my dad? It's just going to take longer for my family to heal if they prolong this. |
December 4, 2007 at 5:04pm
December 4, 2007 at 5:04pm
December 4, 2007 at 3:30pm
December 4, 2007 at 3:30pm
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| I just paid off the remainder on my car loan, (the car that was trashed back in February). Thank God. That's one thing off of my back anyway. I am so relieved! Whew! Now I just have to get everything else straightened out. I have made a reasonable monthly payment plan with the student loan company for $20/month. That's another load off of my mind. Then I have to figure something out for the doctors bills that I had in Florida for my surgery. That's the biggest debt I have ever had for anything. That is probably the one thing that's hurting my credit the most, is that damn hospital bill. Then after that is taken care of, my credit won't be in such shambles. I hope. The biggest priority right now is to get a job and another car. I feel like a prisoner because I am not allowed to drive long distances in my grandfather's car. I guess I could be sneaky and do it anyway, but I would feel guilty if I did that. I don't like to go against anyone's trust for me. Don't get me wrong.....I have been tempted to, but I couldn't. I just need my own car again so I can regain my independence and do what I want. I am an adult afterall. I just have so much on my mind that I can't focus on anything else right now. |
December 3, 2007 at 11:32am
December 3, 2007 at 11:32am
December 3, 2007 at 10:36am
December 3, 2007 at 10:36am
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| I got one of those stupid chain letters from a company that I recently applied to. They told me that while my qualifications and experience are quite diverse, they don't have any positions that are a good fit for me. Then said that they would keep my resume on file in case something does come up. Yeah right, that's just their way of blowing me off because they don't think i'm good enough to work for them. I don't know what's worse, hearing from them and getting a rejection letter, or not hearing from them at all. Either way, it's a major disappointment. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to work for retail stores because they don't pay worth a damn. I can't suvive on retail pay. It's a good thing that rent is paid up for two months. Michigan's economy sucks, big time. I also applied online at LaSalle Bank, I just got a letter from them saying that there was some information missing and they can't process my application. Bullshit. I know I filled everything out that was required to have an account with them. If I missed something the website wouldn't let the application go through. I hate banks. Now I have to go in and spend 2-3 hours just to get an account established, because of one stupid error on their website. I might just find another bank. LaSalle is affiliated with Bank of America, and they probably suck just as bad as BOA does. |
December 2, 2007 at 2:41pm
December 2, 2007 at 2:41pm
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| Well, we made more progress out at my dad's place. Sheila didn't show up, because she cares more about her personal life than she does about anything else, and Jill, I am not sure about her either. At least Sheila and I weren't around each other today, we probably would've argued some more. We get along better when we aren't around each other, lol! |
December 1, 2007 at 6:00pm
December 1, 2007 at 6:00pm
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| Well, things are resolved between Sheila and I for now. I came home and all of her and Jazlyn's things were put in their places. I may have overreacted just a tad. I still might want to get my own place anyway, just to limit conflict. Living with relatives is tough. I will just have to live with it for now. |
December 1, 2007 at 2:13pm
December 1, 2007 at 2:13pm
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| Okay, this living situation is getting ridiculous. Sheila definately DOES NOT use her brain too effectively. There are boxes of junk spread throughout the entire apartment. Sheila's room is a total stye. She's never home to clean up and organize shit. Grandpa said that if that stuff isn't put away with in two weeks, he's going to go in there and throw it all away. I seriously hope he does. Sheila calls herself a neat-freak, but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at the place. I am totally embarrassed to have anyone over because of her and Jazlyn's crap. She simply doesn't understand that all of this nonsense and trash will not fit into our apartment. It's impossible. It won't all go in her room, and she thinks she's going to have it in every room in the apartment. She sure is hell not going to store any of her bullshit in my room. My room is totally off limits to her garbage. She keeps telling me that none of this is my business..........THE HELL IT'S NOT! I live there too! I have a right to say what I feel. She has no brain. As soon as I can, I will get two jobs and move the hell out, because I need to be by myself. This isn't working. I need my own life, I can't take not having any privacy. I can't get anyone to come over because she's there all of the time. I can't have a life or any privacy whatsoever. I can't stand it and we can't stand each other. |
November 27, 2007 at 7:56pm
November 27, 2007 at 7:56pm
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| I think that I won't date for awhile. Men don't seem to know what they want, and it confuses me to no end. I need a man who knows what the hell he wants out of life and has a good head on his shoulders. I am tired of wishy-washy men. They suck like you wouldn't believe. I just had to get that out. No particular reason, just cranky and frustrated. |
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