My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
INTERNAL DIALOGUE
A man mulls over a break up as he waits for the bus.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Internal dialogue based on the picture?
Place word count with the item? --- No word count placed in the item.
WHAT I LIKED
Honest character voice. You could hear the "numbness" of emotion
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
For me, I picked out the theme of dealing with heartbreak and disappointment.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
Breaking up isn't easy to do and emotions can really get heavy.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening draws the reader in with something we all can identify with. The writing is candid with a touch of heartbreak. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
INTERNAL DIALOGUE
A man gets sucked up in a barren landscape while searching for immortality.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Internal dialogue?
Word Count posted and item not modified after 1 FEB?
WHAT I LIKED
Great character voice. It drew me right into the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
Sometimes when you take a chance, you take a wrong chance, probably due to the fact you didn't think the situation all the way through. I've done that a couple of times.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Good;
The author drew a picture of frustration after making a rash choice.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening drew me right in. I loved the creativity and imagination inspired by the photo prompt.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army.
THE POEM
The poem deals with the passage of time and how it can effect us.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the hint of Dr. Seuss. It made the poem very engaging.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. I noticed a general ABAB rythme scheme, but there were 2 stanzas where that didn't follow the pattern, still, it didn't take away from the presentation or the message.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "In circle's of life's wind, we trust."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I enjoyed the word play. The first line is especially appealing, "How did it get so late so soon?" The questions in the poem dare the reader to puzzle themselves out against the backdrop of the reader's life.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
This review is #3 of a 4 poem port raid from Package 3 from the Bee Hive Honey Pit Raffle.
FORUM
Steph Bee's Honey Pit (E) JUNE 2024 - hang out with fellow Bees and enjoy the Honey. NEW challenge is OUT! #1474097 by StephBee
THE POEM
The author uses the sea and the conditions of the sea to reflect how rocky a bad relationship can be and leaves the reader with a bit of hope at the end.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the tone. It was very somber and reflective.
STRUCTURE
This is a 16 line poem with every stanza having 4 lines. In each stanza the 1st and 3rd lines rythmed.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Where the foamy white caps turn black." Visually descriptive, it also reflects how a life of promise can turn sour.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem tells a tale of life and the emotional path life can take one on. I appreciated the hopeful ending. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
This review is #2 of a 4 poem port raid from Package 3 from the Bee Hive Honey Pit Raffle.
FORUM
Steph Bee's Honey Pit (E) JUNE 2024 - hang out with fellow Bees and enjoy the Honey. NEW challenge is OUT! #1474097 by StephBee
THE POEM
The poem speaks to the flood of life and what's like to make it through the waters.
WHAT I LIKED
I love the expression and word choices that evoke emotion.
STRUCTURE
This is a 16 line poem with every stanza having 4 lines and an ABAB rythme scheme. The rythme scheme allowed for a nice, rhythmic flow.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "I'm sucked back under from a lifetime's strife..." I think we've all been there, when we've had to battle something hard life has thrown at us.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I love how visual the poem is. The reader can easily picture a riptide pulling someone under. The author does a great connecting the emotion to the tide, and then recovering. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ENTRY
This was a poem about the winter solstice.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you.
Non-fiction story up to 1200 words.
Place word count with the item.
WHAT I LIKED
Nice descriptions place me at the feast.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This a free form poem with no rythme scheme.
THEME
This is a seasonal time where time changes.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
The author taps into hope when talking about looking forward to the light.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem is pretty solid, but this entry doesn't follow the prompt for this month's Bard's Hall Prompt, which is memoir writing about a cherished gift.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. My review is on "A caring gift."
THE MEMOIR
Santosh reached out to his mom, and the promise of family proved a balm to her long suffering.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you.
Non-fiction story up to 1200 words.
Place word count with the item.
WHAT I LIKED
Nice character voice. I think the story is one that the reader can emphasize with.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
What resonates with me is making tough choices and the power of love of family.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
The author shares struggles and challenges and what she did to overcome them.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening intrigues the reader. The writing is heartfelt and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE MEMOIR
Seaman Frances has been demoted, but he's the only one who can solve the problem. What will it cost him?
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you.
Non-fiction story up to 1200 words.
Place word count with the item.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the ending. It was uplifting.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by Seaman Frances. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
There's a lot of themes here - hard work, leadership, determination. All of it can lead to something positive in life.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
It's an emotionally inspiring story.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation and capitalization. I would also suggest that the author increase the font on the story, as it's hard to read. Also, I would space between the paragraphs.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening catches the reader's attention. The writing is forthright and honest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE MEMOIR
Mum died and didn't leave much behind except an old, used pie dish.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you.
Non-fiction story up to 1200 words.
Place word count with the item.
WHAT I LIKED
Nice character voice. It drew me right into the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
I think there's a double message here, dealing with loss and poverty - and sometimes the everyday, ordinary things are the things that resonate with us. For me, I'll always fondly remember the pot that Aunt Mary and I used to make pierogis in during Christmas.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
The author's emotional memories around an aluminum pie dish resonate with readers.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening intrigues the reader. The writing is wistful and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE MEMOIR
A young girl learns a life lesson at Christmas time.
FOLLOWED PROMPT?
Describe a cherished gift that always makes you think of the person who gave it to you.
Non-fiction story up to 1200 words.
Place word count with the item.
WHAT I LIKED
Great character voice. It drew me right into the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
THEME
For me, I picked out the theme of life lesson. A young 9 year old receives the gift she asked for, but it wasn't what she expected. Her reaction and the consequences teach her a lesson that will resonate throughout her life.
EMOTIONAL BEATS How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? Great; Good; Okay.
The author drew a picture of a how a child learned the lesson of humility.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening intrigues the reader. The reaction to her gift is one we all can relate to. The writing is candid, honest, and sincere. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Inspired by a quote from Henry David Thoreau, the poem addresses the harvest of thoughts that can be found on the WDC community.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the creativity of the poem.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "where half baked words are overly spiced..."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The quote discusses a harvest of thought and the author draws on all the options you can find on WDC to harvest thoughts while painting a thanksgiving meal which is perfect for November.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, the author explores a thorn with a rose.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the inspiration message of the poem.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There is no rythme scheme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Roses have thorns, a warning given;"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem uses a good economy of words to stir the reader's thought as they flip the illusion on it's end - why does a thorn have a rose? The use of alliteration with "One doesn't have one without the other," is in the perfect place to give the reader pause before the ending's message.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, Winter's thorn will bring sweet heat at the Bus Stop.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the poem progressed from cold to heat and ended on a warm note, much like the quote from Karr.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There are 3 lines in each stanza. There is no rythme scheme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "fingers of frothy wetness crawl along my body."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem uses a good economy of words. I enjoyed how the poem told a simple story, yet it was layered with cold thorns which melt away at the end. Nice visuals.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Inspired by a quote from Alphonse Karr, Rose laughs and gloats, but there is a thorn on that flower. What could it be?
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the easy flow of the poem.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. The 2nd and 4th lines of the stanza rythmes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "laughing, gloating, cackling Rose,"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The flow is light and easy; the thorn is stated with the last line. The poem resonates due to the catchy flow and begs the reader to consider if there's more than just bad prose to consider.
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