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2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." I question everything in my life. Today I started doing my mice work in multi-media. While I am much more pleased with the results, I'm still questioning the quality, of course, and I am not done yet with either one. I also am debating on doing at least one more as a bonus to make up for how long it is taking me. I do however stick by my decision to not start drawing before knowing the recipient. There's just different themes you use whether you have a male or female audience, though I guess I could of done them with the general public in mind. I went with my worker this morning to drop my library books off and pick up my glasses. I really liked my eyeglasses until David made the offhanded comment about them being for a male. The Terry had to add "well she always does get stuff for men". I thought I was pulling away from my tom boy ways now that I am no longer looking for a mate of either gender. The Higher Powers did put me in a feminine form after all..... I lived up to another resolution. I had made goals for just January and one of the goals was to enter two WdC contests this month. I entered "Share Your Faith" on the 5th and entered "Merit Badge Magic" on the 7th. I feel so good about it I'm considering entering at least one more. I got so bored yesterday that I reviewed one piece. I don't push myself to review much just because, like everything else, I feel like I don''t do it right. I suppose if I were to review more I might earn more gps in t he long run but that's not enough incentive to get me past how hard it is for me to do it. Okay, back to the prompt, I guess. I feel as though you should constantly question everything. I don't know who said it but one of my favorite sayings is "the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked". There's a point in there somewhere. how do you learn what you don't know if you don't first admit to not knowing? Every person really does have unlimited potential if they take the time to seek out what their talent is. Somewhere inside each person is at least one thing that they were meant to be good at; not just good, spectacular. Problem is most people pursue things that are not that one thing. Not only that, but other people are always pointing out to them what they are doing wrong. This begs the question, what is it I was meant to be good at? Well, believe it or not, I am very good at psychology. It allows me to create realistic characters with true to life problems. It also helps me understand a lot of people (that and the fact that I am very empathic). I also am very sensitive to the supernatural so I am good at believing in people. Of course I've always been good at writing and making up stories. That was the only thing in my life that there weren't too many blocks put before me. Oh, except for the "The odds of making a living at writing are astronomical. You better have something to fall back on." Of course, if I wasn't such a chicken I would have run away to New York to pursue my lifelong dream at some point or another. Okay, this is long enough. My eyes are starting to see double even with my new glasses. ....... Never stop pursuing your dreams....... |
| It's hard throwing together an entry every night with the life I lead. I don't do anything. I did work on my mouse drawings today. Doing them in just pencil is frustrating a little bit. I might ask JR Pete if i can change them to mixed media. I may even try painting them. It is just so hard. As I have said since I agreed to do this I am just a rank ameuter when it come to art in general and drawing in particular. I opened the 50/30/20 Raffle today. I started it in order to generate GPs to be able to help out around WdC by spending them in the different contests, activities and shops, not to mention making donations to the worthy causes. December and doing Secret Santa wiped out the gps in both my personal fund and the group's fund. As I said, I've got the Raffle open again..... It's just doing about as much generating gps around here as my 3 c-note shops.... Mercy, Nobility, Badges. Mercy - compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm: Nobility - Noble - having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals: As far as badges are concerned, if you belong to WdC and don't know what they are yet, you haven't been here very long.... What do these things mean to me? Not much really. I'd like more to see someone have the courage to stand up for their own principles and ideals. Otherwise what are they but mere words? A person with morals is someone to look to for advice and aspire to be like. It's just that the word noble brings to mind those weird people with powdered wigs and fake moles from some or other bygone era. So much for our prompt. I haven't been doing many of them lately because they either don't apply to me or don't inspire me. Usually both. I'm doing okay on one resolution so far. I do write for 15 minutes each day. Okay so a couple of times I have thrown it out afterwards but it still counts. Like I said in the beginning, I have no life really. It's an existence. I need to work on that somehow but right now all I want to work on is sleep. |
my entry for a contest.... Of Man and Mouse Written by Kristin Claire, It centers around Harlan Newman, a struggling artist on the verge of starvation, and little Kirby Dime, a mouse who is small for his age and is thought to never amount to much by his kind. The story takes off when Kirby decides to reveal to Harlan that mice are able to speak amongst other tricks. Kirby begins telling Harlan about the dreams he has and the stories that he makes up. Together they decide to write and illustrate a book, which in the end proves to be a best seller. 100 words |
| I feel like I accomplished a lot today, even if I think it was all crap..... I wrote an entry for the Share Your Faith contest. I kept telling myself that I was going to but I thought it would come out better than it did..... I definitely don't think it will win.....Oh well. It satisfies half of my goal for the month. I put a sketch of one of my Nezoom characters on the newsfeed but of course I don't like that either...... I deleted my lyrics folder and everything that was in it. I was mostly putting stuff in there that I didn't write, I just inherited it from my friend Eric. He mailed it to me just before his death..... it was only a sad memory that made me try to put it on here. Worse it reminded me of Erci and LIsa.....I still have trouble with them.......Most of the time when I think of them I think I should be with them but I am too chicken to do it.....Needless to say it is just better to delete the lyrics out of here and put t hem away for when, if ever, I can truly deal with it properly...... Now I'm writing this and thinking it is all wrong. I don't want to be a downer this time around in my blog. I wrote more than 15 minutes today. That should feel better than it does. I have to do something to get me back in the swing of things. I tried to dry brush the angel's wings with gold today but it was just making them look dirty. I don't really want to paint much any more.Everything seems to be coming out worse and worse. I need to finish my mouse drawings that I promised I would do. I have t hem drawn it is just getting the second one colored in and I want to do something nice with them not just drawings on pieces of paper. I don't know. we'll see what I come up with. I am a creative little mouse after all..... |
| Here we go again.... Terry is telling me I need to get a small fridge for my room and move my microwave in here. I have the smallest room in the house and there is no way I can fit all the stuff they want me to put in here. Also, there is the fact that I can't afford a fridge and my microwave is a piece of junk that might as well be replaced. I just told myself that if they want me to have a fridge so bad they can buy it and figure out where to put it. (and they better not move any of the stuff I want out). I am so tired. I think I've gotten about ten hours of sleep in the past three days. I went through my clothes today. I had to in order to be able to put my clean clothes away. I weeded out a whole garbage bag of clothes and hung a bunch of stuff up. I have almost a whole bin of pants and only about eight shirts. oh well. I'll get more. I''m not looking forward to my birthday. I don't think anyone is going to do anything for it. Terry did order me some diamond painting stuff for it. I tried to order myself a book for my birthday but it didn't go through. I have $100 left to be able to spend in January. I wish I could do something like go to the mall with it but these days that isn't nearly enough money to spend a day there. Terry is also saying that I need to buy stuff for the house and that we need things like cranberry pills and allergy medicine and wants me to get it because I've got this healthy benefits thing that gives me $120 to spend on necessary over the counter stuff. Between her telling me what I am to do with that and telling me what to do with my food stamps I am really almost ready to look for my own place. I probably won't do it, unless it is just dreaming, but it is a nice thought to get out of here. I am getting more time to myself to get things done. Tonight almost went back to the way it was. Terry got up and got her own drinks and stuff tonight but I didn't feel like I was able to retreat to m y room until after 9 pm. Like I said I'm t ired. |
| I didn't get anything done today. I told myself that if I were to do anything today that I was either going to dig out and organize my craft box (because that is where my mouse drawings are) or clean out and organize my clothes bin so that I could fold and put away the clean ones out of my hamper. Saying that I couldn't get myself to do either of those things I didn't do anything. I couldn't get myself to do anything because I was nauseous and tired. Taking a nap for an hour didn't help. I did get on WdC a few times and typed up some answers to questions on forums and the newsfeed. I also jotted down the prompts to a few contests. The time to get entries in on a couple of the contests passed, but I put in my Monthly goals on Habit Heroes to enter two contests this month and I will do it. I also have kept up with writing for 15 minutes per day; keeping an offline journal again and scratching notes on stories. I have to go see my Psychiatrist Amy tomorrow. I don't really want to go. It is one of those "We have to see you at least once every three months" appointments. Take an hour bus ride down there, have a 15 minute appointment of basically "there's nothing new going on", "Okay see you next time", just to take an hour bus ride back home.... If I can focus enough, I might get the rest of a book read on the bus and waiting in the lobby...... I'm having one of those "I need to write but I don't know what to write" moments...I should grab a notebook and write the essay on my faith that I want to write for a contest....but I don't know where to begin yet. My writing brain is working very slow lately.... I should also work on the next chapter of my novel I put in Habit Heroes to write.....My body is giving me the excuse of it is too late in the day and I'm just too tired. My mind wants to vegitate for the rest of the night.... Being talked about.... I always think I am being talked about. I am paranoid that way. I wish it were the other way, I seriously do. I feel invisible sometimes and it is a very comfortable and content feeling. I feel every step I take is wrong. Every time I open my mouth most often it tends to upset someone. My therapists used to tell me all the time that I was not a mind reader and that people could just as easily be saying something nice about me. Somehow I just can't convince myself of that. It is easier to think that they don't notice me at all; that I am not worth their time. I just got Terry upset because I suggested that we needed to schedule time that I could have just to me. She went in her room and said I could have the rest of the night. She never goes in her room before 9 pm. She said she wasn't upset and that she was tired of my getting upset and pouting over things. She interrupted me when the words were flowing on this entry to get her dinner. i had only planned to add another sentence or two and then I would of got it for her. But she had to have it that second. It is not even my job to feed her. David is getting paid to do it. I'm telling you they would be in a hell of a place if it wasn't for me being here.... I need to go find something to calm me down before I try to sleep..... |
| What do I put in here today? I hurt a lot today so all I wanted to do was sleep. Didn't help that 30% of it was chest pain and another 20% was abdominal cramps. I should have grabbed the oxygen as I was having bad headaches and sinuses and it felt like I couldn't get a full breath. David has taken over putting my pills in my box and he had everything so messed up. He had me thinking I needed like six of them refilled right away. After I went through my small bin of medications I realized he had been hoarding empty bottles. It gives me a dozy of a headache trying to reorganize something that I had organized before but someone else has come in and messed it all up. I'm still having David fill my boxes but I'm going to keep a little bit of a closer eye on it and go through it after he gets done. Things were basically back to normal today. The holidays are officially over. Everyone went back to work.It is a good thing and a bad thing. It is good because everyone will be getting their money again and won't be trying to borrow from us. It is bad though because we won't hear from them as much and will worry plus they won''t have time to come by and help us out. I worked on painting the angels wings today. She is looking so good. I'm glad that the small details like her face were already done when I got her. It just adds to the overall right look of her. I also did a little bit of touching up on Terry's dreamcatcher. |
| I just got through cleaning out my portfolio. Some old things I kept but I might delete a bunch more soon. There is so much I want to do this year. I want to take care of my health better. I have sworn off pop/soda and sugary sweets. I am going to eat regularly instead of skipping meals. I'm going to test my sugar like I'm supposed to. I need to accept that I am a major diabetic and I need to watch these things..... I want to take care of my mental state. I am going to meditate more regularly and take my medications as prescribed. I'm also going to learn more about myself by learning more about my personality. I want to change the things I don't like. I have made a commitment to myself that I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I want to live and prosper. I'm going to get back into my Tai Chi and exercise regularly. I'm tired of not being able to do things I once could. I should not have to use a cane around the house nor a walker when I go out. I should be able to have flexibility without pain. I want to make a new commitment to my spirituality and my magick. I want to learn more about my abilities and develop them more. This may sound like a big order, but really it isn't. I give myself until the 22nd to establish my New Year's Resolutions because my first year did not start until then. (yes, January 22 is my birthday). I will take things slow and not chastise myself if I mess up. Each day is a new opportunity to get it right. "You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself" sometimes even pleasing yourself is a task. I promise myself that I will try to do these things to the best of my ability and take them on with a light heart. |
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Love it! I hope "Kristy Parkers" is revived and publishes very soon!
It's probably cheaper to just buy regular stamps and use a piece of paper and envelope to send the stuff instead of buying a postcard. 
