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Review of 420 2E  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star**BalloonB*Welcome to WDC! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Delight*

*Delight*I really enjoyed reading this short piece and you did a great job with the first person narration in the present tense. It is a challenge to do with consistency.

A few spots to check with this:

"everytime she LOOKS....feels trapped" instead of past tense.
"her neighbours PLAY..instead of played. to be consistent.
"prays" for "prayed"

Also you begin with "she" but change to I in the third paragraph. I would keep the voice the same. *Wink*

I notice a little typo: you don't need "is" with "that's" in "that's is not working." *Wink*

*Delight*You really capture this woman's mindset and unease in her surroundings and relationship. Good detail in showing why this is so. I was drawn into the story as your description of the setting was vivid too.*Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift with us. Keep on Writing!*Smile*

eyestar
Sig for blog/reveiws

"Noticing Newbies Committee

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Review of River Crossing  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star**BalloonB*Welcome to WDC! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! I was drawn into your story with the detailed description in your first line. I could so picture the setting. *Thumbsup*

You really captured the aspects of having to hide and the wariness of the slaves along the journey. I like how they did not take the boat...it gives them a sense of honesty in spite of desperation. Using the awareness of the sun to delineate the day time on the trail was effective and would be a natural tool.

A few glitches that I noted though I am not a pro! *Wink*

Maybe tighten this phrasing: "relaxing and even sleeping." to relaxing into sleep".


In the 4th paragraph I see you used "continue" forms twice. Maybe the word "continuing" could be dropped and you do say it was a gentle rain so we can infer that it was still raining from the day before.

I don't think you need the words " though, and" in the next paragraph. Keep it straightforward.

I think "they" should be "then" in "hereabouts, they maybe there.." typo. *Wink*

*Smile*I was glad they found a bridge for rushing water is not appealing to me and many on the pioneer trails never made it across these rivers.

I could feel the relief when they made it to the next step and you leave the tale ready for the next instalment.

Thanks for sharing your first post at WDC! Keep on Writing!*Smile*

Blessings for a shiny new year.*Star*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Snow4**Star*Happy Holidays Snow! I am here with a review to celebrate you for your stellar commitment in the Contest Challenge! *Star*


*Snow4* I love chocolate so I could not resist reading this little poem! *Delight* I can join right in this thank you Lord for chocolate prayer with ease. *Laugh*

*Dchoco* In two short verses you have captured the contrasting tastes and colours of chocolate and its effect on the body. I especially like the line about "joy"! The idea that it is a confection that makes physical life better is brilliant. I can relate as at times chocolate does lighten my spirit. LOL

*Snow4* Oh I like the quote you begin with and it is cool to know Kate liked chocolate too.

Thanks for sharing this deserving tribute to the Lord of chocolate. *Starstruck*


Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
redone anniversary version without number!
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Review of Any Juice Will Do  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Snow4**Xmastree* Happy Holidays Rachel! Congrats on 4 completing all the Contest Challenge commitments! What a feat. *Starstruck*

*Snow4*I love the dream song you chose to parody here. What a fun choice and I imagine a bit of a challenge. I had to laugh when I first saw the title about any juice will do... I thought of someone being so desperate. *Laugh* When I read your fine tune, I saw it fits exactly. I enjoyed reading and when you mentioned "shelves" I got the covid connection. Well done. You did mention it in your tag line..which I did not read first. LOL

*Delight*Ok! I could so sing it especially if I hold notes a bit longer on some words. I enjoy doing parodies and they can be challenging to get perfect. LOL You did a great job and I had fun down memory lane.

*Snow4* In line 3, should "no" be "not"?

*Snow4* The rhythm and rhyme were pleasing and I had to laugh at the need for a juice that won't kill. It is not really funny as we never know what they put in drinks...words you cannot pronounce. *Wink*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your entertaining concoction... a great juice in my book! *Wand*

Have a wonderful holiday and many blessings into the new year. *Heart*

redone anniversary version without number!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Star* Blessings on this holiday season ruwth! *Angel* I am happy to review this piece from the "I Write in 2020" forum. *Delight*


*Xmastree* What a wonderful poem for the season and such an original entry to the Story-poem contest too. Wow! I like the idea of encapsulating Jesus's life with these well chosen images. I think it would be challenging to pick ideas and tell the story in a poem. Well done! *Star*

*Angelic*I enjoyed the style with its short lines and how you added bits of rhyme to tie it together. I liked the enjambment of "a man...Born blind" as it added an emphatic vibe. The idea of healing a birth defect makes it seems more potent an act. The use of assonance really assisted the flow of the read as well. I noticed things like repeated long "i" sound, "ea" and cool soundscapes like "virgin birth", and bits of alliteration. *Thumbsup*

*Giftp* I did have a few thoughts as I read that you might consider, or not! *Wink*

*Snow4*Where you used "he" twice in lines 2-3: I wondered about making the second instance of "He" to the word "Who" for a better flow.

*Snow4* Where you say "he raised a man" : Again maybe to avoid two "He" phrases, maybe something like: and even raised a man.... It gives it some flow and not so abrupt. *Wink*

*Snow4* And where you have "He Ascended..." I thought a gerund might work....eg "ascending into heaven". It would give emphasis to the idea of Ascension, not just the He, which we know from the line before you are speaking of him. *Smile*

*Starstruck*The title is like a prophecy and was a neat idea to point to the future as you reveal his past story. Cool. Thanks for sharing your tribute to Jesus and the message of God's love.

Have a blessed time. Peace, joy and love this season and beyond. *Heart*

Write on into the new year!

redone anniversary version without number!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Waiting Game  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Confettir* Happy November mastiff! I am here to review your piece in the "I Write in 2020" forum!*Delight*

*Thumbsup* Yay! You did a great job of not using the letter E in this 14 line poem! The topic is a timely relevant one and expresses commentary on the political situation of the election. You capture the the confusion, the divisions, the hope and the feeling of the election night.

I loved the personal vivid lines like "too tight...chills.." in verse 2. I could sense folks reacting in different ways, waiting for the outcome of this especially tense situation. I think the short verses and short lines really help to build that atmosphere: tight, hard to breathe. You engage the reader with questions. The "tiny light" and the last line were effective and appealing. a bit of hope.

*Star*This concise verse had a pleasing soundscape to read aloud and gave a clear sense of the poet's observations and feelings. Well done!

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Witch* Helllooooo Jeff! I am flying in from the Ghostly Hollows Power Raid and could not resist this magical spell! You are truly a word wizard in this piece. *Wand*

*Bats*Wow! I loved reading this tongue twisting creation out loud slowly or quick. The word choices are amazing and create a vivid message and energy that match the picture. I especially liked the image of "a rhythm section of insurrection" and had to go find out that "intellection" is a word! *Shock* I love learning new words! Cool.

*Fairy*You really evoked thinking this all through and it makes sense from the viewers point of view. I wanted to read a comma after "protection" though I see you are not using regular punctuation. It just struck me here. LOL

*Moon*Wow. She does not think highly of herself, which suits the essence of the picture prompt I think. Brilliant conception! *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your unique craft.

eyestar
a new model
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Leafr*Happy Fall The Puppet Master! Thank you so much for your generosity in our {item:}. Here is the third review from your winning package. *Delight*

*Leaf2o*Wow! I enjoyed this tale based on historic facts and it really fits the quote you left at the end. It has a flavour of "The Titanic Movie" and I like your take on what could have happened on this ship.

*Leaf2br*The story flowed coherently with effective interspersing of the present moments with the Grandpa's words as story teller. *Star* I really felt his loss as he remembers the past. The dream sequence was appealing too and the ending so heartwarming. The notion of being able to connect with the other side is well shown.

*Leafo* The scene on the boat was charming and the language, speech and manners suit the time of the incident. Old fashioned! The meeting and connection seem realistic as you show their common interest in the boats, drawing and wanting family as well as the pull to romance. A good start that could lead to deeper relationship.

*Leafy* Adding conversation into the narrative added drama and showed character's feelings and continued the story telling. It is cool that the family likes to hear the stories and memories of the elder. I think it is something missing in our times.

*Quill* I offer a few ideas for refinement in terms of what stuck out to me as I read.

~In line three: "yes to see the grandkids" refine "the grandkids" to "them" as you mention the grandkids in the line before so we know they are there.

~In "hugged me and kissed me goodbye." Maybe drop one "me" .

~In " Margaret smiled softly." what does that look like? I think. "she smiled" is simple enough.

~I understand the attraction of the two people and the good night kisses. I did not see why he would carry her to her room though and put her to bed. They just met and she can walk. Could be for romantic effect in the story telling but threw me out a bit. LOL

~In "Suddenly we heard another explosion," I wanted to drop "suddenly" as it seem redundant and slows the action.

*Treefall* The scene at the end when he finished was moving and all the family got to say goodbye without knowing.

*Star*I really had fun entering this vision. Thanks for sharing your gift and craft. The links at the end were convenient too.

eyestar
Com Link Fariy Sig For Dark Raid!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Leafr*Happy Fall The Puppet Master! Thank you so much for your generosity in our "Invalid Item. Here is one of the reviews from your winning package. *Delight*

*Leaf2O*Oh wow! I so enjoyed reading your story and it reminded me of the Phantom of the Opera. I loved the originality in the surprising twist in the solution to the duel! Well done.

*Leaf2R*The title suits the content and theme with its elements of paranormal, romance and mystery. It made me curious to read the tale.

*Leaf2Br* Your first paragraph hooked me and set the scene, main character and how she was seen. I could see her. The story flowed in a coherent manner and the plot was strong.

*Leafr* The character of the Apparition was well developed and shown through her actions, inner dialogue, conversation and description. I could really get inside her head and understand her motivation. Having to watch her student have a normal relationship would trigger her wounded self. She seems realistic as she has gifts, and yet hidden vulnerability and anger.

*Leafy* The mix of dialogue, inner reflection and narrative worked well. The dialogues were natural and purposeful in furthering the story line and character revelation. *Thumbsup* Descriptions were detailed and set the scene and time line effectively. {eg. the music, cathedral, dress, car, names etc.} Incidents like the banner and lights add to her feelings about the couple.

*Leafo* The problem from the Apparition's view point is clear and the solution in her letter was unexpected. What an old fashioned idea. I love it and to think that women will do that is cool!

~I wanted to drop "breathlessly" in " Nathaniel breathlessly ran.."

~I wondered what "ruggedly handsome" looked like contrasted with "perfectly groomed face".

~In "she wondered to herself," I don't think you need "to herself" as we know she is thinking and you use italics for her inner thoughts. *Smile*

*Leafbr* You make Nathaniel really seem human in his responses and experiences. I wonder if an angel would be in romantic situations. LOL I like how the energy shifts for the Apparition in the end. She knows she is loved and has friendship.. I love happy endings. *Wink*

*Leaf2y* I enjoyed reading the engaging story and it flowed quite well in a coherent fashion. Use of italics for inner thoughts was effective and kept me in touch with the character during the narration. The point of view seems consistent too. *Smile*

It is so wonderful how you created the tale remniscient of Phantom but with so many twists. *Cool* I loved it! {e;delight}

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Leafr*Happy Fall The Puppet Master! Thank you so much for your generosity in our "Invalid Item.
Here is one review from your winning package. *Delight*


*Leaf2R*What a brilliant concept using a chess board game for a romantic encounter. The title is appealing and at the end we can get the joke of "not quite". You did a good job with the imagery, few clues until the twist at the end where you reveal the true setting!*Thumbsup*

*Leafr* Vocabulary words like square, approach, advanced, threatened all work to indicate a battle..or a fight where the scout keeps trying to get to his lady. Later we get the chess game image...good clues.


*Leafo* It was quite dramatic when he did finally meet her. I was surprised by her reaction and the revelation of relation to the king. Makes sense as a scout in love from afar might not know that...being from a lower kingdom. *Smile*

*Quill*A few things I noticed for your consideration:

~In the first paragraph I noticed you repeated ideas like "common" and "square". I think it could be tightened up.

~In the second paragraph, perhaps just say "there" for "ladies in the square" as we know that he is in the square.

*Smile* I loved the wisdom of the knight at the end giving a truth and maybe hope to the scout. *Heart*

*Starstruck*I enjoyed this original expression with its well conceived metaphor. Keep on writing.

eyestar
Com Link Fariy Sig For Dark Raid!
If you like to review, check out "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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Review of Nutria Rodeo  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Genielamp* Hiya thing! I get to review another poem from the "I Write in 2020!" *Delight* What a great response to the prompt and the title was intriguing.

*Smile*Your poem was engaging and fun to read. I loved the description of the creature with the swagger. I could so visualize this! *thumbusp* Thanks too for the note about what a nutria is as I had not heard of it before. Your imagination in making it a strange creature is brilliant. It was effective how you wove the characteristics of the nutria into the tale.

*Flowerv* The form is well composed with rockin' rhythm and rhyme. You built the intensity of the moment clearly as the reader follows the speaker into the wood. You showed the attitude of the creature vividly too.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing another of your creative visions and well crafted verse! I was so entertained.

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi isokarifrancis! Happy Fall. *Leafr*

I came across another of your quotes and wisdom. *Delight* I enjoy philosophical works. I really had to ponder on the saying!*Think* Personifying the idea of "feedback" and having it have its opinion is brilliant.

I like the idea that feedback can have benefits if we look for them and not take offence, or not take it personally but as a suggestion. Folks can stay in rigid thinking and point fingers out side themselves.

I appreciate the message, which can apply to life and writing!

Thanks for sharing your vision. *Star*

eyestar
Gryffindor sig
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*Happy Party Days jaya! Congratulations on your win in "Invalid Item and for partying with us! *Salute*


*Gemt* Wow! This is a detailed analysis of Jane Austen and the education of women. It is an interesting topic too. I like the tone and your tribute to her "literary genius" at the end.

*Gemp* Using a quote in the first line is a good hook to your introduction and your premise is clear. Weaving in Jane's history and popularity was seamless to give us background to her world so we could better understand her sharing of ideas of education. Your research of the times and using quotes from her books is thorough and helps illustrate your theme. The idea from John Gregory was interesting too. Imagine hiding our education! *Shock* Yet it happened. "the tight rope' image is brilliant. *Cool*

*Gemy*In the line "So says," you do not need that comma after says. *Wink*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your opinion on this subject in an interesting way. I learned a lot.

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*Happy Party Days jaya! Congratulations on your win in "Invalid Item! *Delight*

*Gemt* Wow! This is a delightful tribute to WDC for its 20th birthday! It has an uplifting tone and vivid details about elements of WDC and why you admire it. I really enjoyed how you kept the lines running as one long sentence. IT flowed in a lovely way with effective enjambments and use of consonance. The rhyme of "tremendously" and "endlessly" works too, even though "ly" adverbs are not too poetic. LOL They fit here and give us a strong message.

*Gemg* Your words for the key letters in the Acrostic were well chosen. I liked "highly valued", "inspiring", "comprising". The last verse stands on its own as a summative description of our community. Well done. *Star*

*Gemo* The key letters blend in well and while it would be nice if they were bolded, it did not take away from the meaningful flow and meaning! *Wink* I don't think you need the exclamation after WDC in the first line as it continues to the next one.
Or it might be "Hello dear WDC! Again ...." or "Hello! Dear WDC, again ....."

Thank you for sharing your vision of WDC and your fine crafting. *Starstruck*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy Party days! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Balloong*

I enjoy philosophical ponderings and even used to collect wise sayings when I was a kid! It is so cool that you share the reflections here. *Smile* You could make a book!

This gives me something to think about and I had not heard the word "becloud" before so I went to look it up. Cool! It really fits. The idea of probing for a deeper meaning when rumour abounds is valid too. Should any POV be taken at face value? *Think*

In a gentle way you invite the reader to "probe" without telling them what to think..let them discover. It is the only way that works...choice. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your vision and interesting vocabulary. *Star*

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Review of I Write In 2020  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Happy party days Carly! I am happy to review your fantasy poem in the "I Write in 2020" forum. *Delight*


*Gemv* Your title intrigued me with its evocative image. My muse likes it as a prompt on its own. *Smile*

*Gemg* Wow! Your poem presents a spooky picture of these dark woods with the unexpected dark ones. The generic word "they" kept me wondering and using my imagination. The repetition of what they are not is effective technique.

*Devilish* The last two lines are creepy and potent and I trembled at the idea of "bowels of the underworld." Made me think of greek myth and the creepy place in Lord of the Rings where they work underground creating creatures. *Shock*

*Fairy2* I like the dramatic effect of repeating the word "wait" in the middle of the poem. The use of repeated vowel sounds as in "vines that wind" and repeated consonants like "collecting and connecting" make a pleasing soundscape to read aloud.

*Quill* I think the word "seem" is weak as I learned that it is better to be direct in your imagery...is it or isn't it? Perhaps something like "dancing and shimmering in the moonlight" in line 3... and it could flow more smoothly from the line before. It gives a more real and present picture than 'seems to". *Wink*

I notice a typo in " toppled tress". *Smile* I like the alliteration here too.

*Think* I also wondered if instead of "they come from the trees" you put a "but they come from.." and then in the next line, drop the word "but" as you are entering now into an explanation or how and when they do this.

*Gemy* I think the free style suits the theme and content. I see you use all capital letters on each line, which is a style or choice. I wondered if you had tried it with natural flow..to see if it changes the flow of the read. I was not thrown out by the lack of punctuation. It was just a matter of style. *Smile*

*Star* Your poem appeals to the imagination and makes me not want to go to those woods! Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Good luck in the contest. *Fairy2*

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Review of Waiting  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Happy Party Days, Mastiff! Yay. I get to review you in the "I Write in 2020!"


*Gemt*This tanka made me thing of workers who cannot do much while waiting for covid to pass due to some criteria as others go workwards. *Wink*

*Gemv* I sensed the feeling of loneliness and feeling left out when he really wants to connect! Good job as expressions of opinions is part of the tanka form. *Thumbsup* The plea with the exclamation mark emphasizes this. The broken line in line 3 is effective too.

*Gemg*I think the form is well composed and your vision is clearly shown. Thanks for sharing your work and participating in Oriental poetry forms. *Star*

Party on!! *Balloonp*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy Party Days ruwth! I get to do another review for you. LOL This time for 'I Write in 2020!" *Delight*

I really enjoyed your story and it is an original response to the prompt. Great idea!! The writing is a reflective look at your own preparations and lessons from past planning. I could feel the panic as you try to get ready on time this time and the unexpected help that showed up. Party fairies, eh? LOL

I admire the creativity of your trinket collection and how you show how you learned along the way. Too bad about the unretired one, but then...all has a purpose. Exclusive fun.

I appreciate how you could Make a story of your own experience and you did include three WDC friends and had an unexpected turn and surprise. It was easy to follow the writing and I do like the new trinket. Shines like bling! *Star*

*Gemt* Thanks for adding your creative flair and fun to the party activities and for leading the way with your contributions and community spirit.

*Balloonp* Party on!

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Happy happy Party Days, Maryann!


*Gemt* How did I not know you had a webpage?? I just saw this folder and found it inside along with a cool collection of work. *Delight* Yay!

*Star* I loved your web page with its bright colourful face, so aesthetically pleasing. It highlights in a fun and organized ways the many types of activities you have participated in and items you have created. The pictures are lovely and reflect the love, light and encouragement that you bring to WDC. *Heart* I especially like the lead picture of you and your dog and the Butterfly sig with your name. Gorgeous.

*Gemg* The 15 for 15 folder has an inviting introduction and I enjoyed the vivid haiku about ice! The idea of writing for 15 minutes...and see what comes from a prompt sounds fun and freeing, as you don't have to worry about completion or perfection. Some of your poems are marvelous. Your muse was on a role! It is so motivating to do these things with others.

*Gemv* The banner in this folder is pleasing and gives the main theme of the contents. I like the cover picture in the Story collection. I can see where other items in your port might fit here too. I guess I did not think of a website as a collection...but it is a directory to your port. Same idea! *Wink*

*Star* I am glad I delved into your port to find stuff I have not reviewed! LOL Thanks for sharing your gift and vision over the years at WDC. Party on! *Cake*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloong**Gemv*Happy party Days, Joy! I saw this on the news feed with your beautiful trinket and so here I am! Thanks for sharing the gifts. *Heartv*

*Gemo*I really enjoyed your Secret blog entry and could relate to all the objections or potential feelings about secrets. these would go through my head too. Good job with the italics to show inner thought. The quote by Orwell was cool and suitable too. *Smile*

*Delight*The twist at the end was brilliant and showed how some secrets are best shared! *Heart* The dialogue was well written and advanced the tale. The first person voice was solid too. I like the way you keep the "you" open ended so we could fit anyone into either role.

*Star*Your logical analysis of the second quote is right on! It shows how important words are and how we need to watch that we say what is specific. I laughed out loud at the inability to change into a fish! LOL

*Quill* Your wisdom shines in the rest of the entry. Focus and finishing tasks are troublesome for many. I like the idea of "catalyst" and the "magic touch"! *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your thoughts in a vivid manner. Fun to read. *Starstruck*

Party On! *Balloonp*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Happy party days Ned! I just saw your post about Shakespeare. What a great topic, one we hear little about these days. *Smile* The author did set a tone for later dramatic artists. LOL

*Gemt*Your appreciation for Shakespeare is vibrant in this short expression. I enjoyed the quote, which suits the time of year. Making it modern with a few emoticons is creative and appealing too.

*Gemg*I wondered about the first phrase...but then I see it referred to an apology for messing with Shakespeare's words by adding bling, in case someone would be offended. LOL In this day in age, it may not...and may attract new readers. *Wink* I related to your commentary about why you like the quote and it was easy to follow. He does have a way with words. *Heart*
Your Hamlet quote with the emoticons was effective too. Good choices! *Bigsmile*

*Gemv* I laughed at the end as I agree that adding all the ML does take up time and effort.

This post was entertaining and a wonderful plug for Shakespeare! Thank you for sharing your vision. *Starstruck*

Party on! *Cake2*

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Review of An Unusual Dance  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy Party Days Jeff! I am happy to review your poem from the "I Write in 2020" forum!*Cupcakev*

*Gemg* Your title is evocative and made me curious... a dance in a limerick! Your take on the prompt is certainly original. LOL The notion of sisters dancing there is unique and rather comical even though the story is dark! Good job.

*Gemy*The form of limerick is well composed though I notice line 2 and 5 are one syllable longer. The first one might say "who was neither virtuous or brave" to be on count and yet the way you wrote it packs more of a punch and image of having no quality of a true knight. *Smile* I like the alliterative sound of "which's why" in line 5. I wonder about using "nuns" for sisters to fix the count and flow better, giving the idea of NOW emphasis. Then I thought maybe the word Sisters may have another nuance. *Smile*

*Gemp*I would have liked to see it centered as limericks often are. It was fun to enter into this unusual creative vision. *Starstruck* The image of the knight who was not and nuns who may have not been so holy in the end is a cool twist. *Thumbsup*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your gift! Party on!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonb* Happy party days!! I was challenged to enter your contest in the Hunter Games and wow! I am happy to review it too.

*Balloonp* This page is appealing in its beauty and its gentle aura created by the coloured font, elegant scripts and images. Very aesthetically pleasing. *Heartv*

*Gemg* The theme and direction of the contest is clear and I think it fills a need in the community to share their faith and vision. *Angel*

*Balloonb* Your rules and instructions are specific and clear. The deadline is easy to find and the number of days reminder at the end is a helpful touch. Cool trinket too.

*Gemo* I like that you have 4 winners and a highlighted category. Prizes are generous too.
The prompt is vivid and using bold to highlight is effective. Mentioning the main rule twice is a good idea too. I hate disqualifying or being cut for a silly forgetfulness. *Wink*

*Balloonp*Adding items that archive past winners and prompts is a cool idea and will give the contest a historical record.

*Star* Thanks for sharing this relevant and creative contribution to WDC! *Heart*

199
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun* Hi Carly! I am happy to review your blog entry in the I Write in 2020 Forum!*Delight*


Wow. You made this visit to Cape Town feel like a wonderful adventure! Your vision of the penguins is brilliant and I liked the comparison to the northern ones and to your self...avoiding tourist traps. *Laugh*. I did not know they came to Cape town shores! *Smile*

Beginning with the natural world in your poem was appealing to me as I would check out the country sides first, rather than the towns. *Smile*

Your description of the lure of the market is so vivid and drew me in to the picture and your last line is evocative. I like the way it rolls of the tongue too in an abrupt sort of way. I felt it was a commentary. *Thumbsup*

Your use of free verse suited the theme, allowing for a meandering flow as you lead us on the adventure. It flowed quite well with minimum punctuation.

*Think*I did wonder about the two instances of "And" in the first lines. I think you can drop the second one.
Also I see you do use a period in the verse where it makes sense and wondered why you did not in the lines "after artisans" and "place" as they seem like complete natural stops. Just to be consistent. *Wink*

*Star*I really enjoyed entering this picture and could imagine the frolicking penguins and music in the air! Sounds fun and then relaxing. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of I Need Coffee  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile* Hi River. *Shock* Oh my gosh, I felt for you getting the needle and was right there with you wanting to leave or.... not control yourself. *Laugh* I am healthy but anytime they tried to draw blood in my past, hard to find a vein! I like the way you describe the nurse's attitude and her attempt at being kind. She might well have said, "suck it up" with her demeanour. LOL

The theme of coffee was well shown, even as you surmise that folks in the hospital may be moody because of lack of coffee. I do not like coffee myself but have had a maple glazed donut at Timmy's! LOL Yum. I would have wanted chocolate!

I think you can un italic the last two paragraphs as you are back in narration mode. The first person voice was effective here and well accomplished.

The descriptions were vivid and I really got a sense of the narrator's feelings and points of view as she tells the story with a satisfying ending. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing your craft. I enjoyed the read as I shuddered at hospital visit! *Laugh*

eyestar
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